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General Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: karne on 10 January, 2003, 07:19:51 am

Title: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 January, 2003, 07:19:51 am
It has come to my attention that many of the boarders are suggesting that my posts are trivial, off the wall and not to be taken seriously. I have decided to rectify this point of view by enlightening you all with a fact a day, hence the title of this thread. I intend to post a new fact for you every day for as long as I’m here, but in actuality until I get bored of it sometime next week. Here is the first of those facts:

Some snakes can grow up to 30 feet, however they do not use them as they find it easier to slither about on their bellies.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 10 January, 2003, 11:31:14 am
huge amounts of applause from sino cit for that impressive fact.


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 10 January, 2003, 01:14:30 pm
Saves on the cost of socks too.

rotts
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 10 January, 2003, 07:10:05 pm
Karne do you want a hand getting back on the wall? i can't help cos I'm short & fell off it myself shortly after birth, but I'm sure theres some sensible people around here might help ?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JimBob on 11 January, 2003, 01:59:09 pm
Karne just to let you know the "Whats up Drokk" story was one of the funniest things I've readin ages.

Jim
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 11 January, 2003, 06:03:53 pm
Are we allowed to include our own facts?

Cos if so, here's mine:

A dwarf dropped in a barrel of cider will bounce up and down continually.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 11 January, 2003, 06:08:55 pm
FACT
if you inform the service staff about the way the food should be prepared. he WILL inform the chef.
and try as you might you will never be able to recreate that flavour yourself at home.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judda fett on 11 January, 2003, 08:01:16 pm
Another Snake fact: My friend has a snake and its poo looks and smells like a dogs doings.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 11 January, 2003, 09:47:53 pm
Ernest Rutherford discovered how to split the atom while carving the Sunday roast. He slipped with the knife and accidentally cut into an atom he had left by the side of the plate.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 January, 2003, 06:18:59 am
To date, everyone who has appeared on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” has been related to Chris Tarrant. After the show they are forced to return any money they have won.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: James on 12 January, 2003, 04:48:46 pm
And here's another one

Two wrongs don't make a right...
But three lefts do.

Thankyouthatwillbeall

James
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 12 January, 2003, 05:00:52 pm
And another.....


There are 274 ways to spell illiterate
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 January, 2003, 11:49:40 pm
"Karne just to let you know the "Whats up Drokk" story was one of the funniest things I've read in ages.

Jim"

Cheers JimBob, but I can't take any credit for it as I merely found it in a bin ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JimBob on 13 January, 2003, 12:08:19 am
Strange but True?
From the Bumper Book of Pagan Knowledge:

"The name Slaine is properly  pronounced  ee-ann While the correct way of saying Niamh is Tray-see"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 January, 2003, 07:07:25 am
Robert De Niro is well known for his “method acting” in fact while rehearsing the role of Dwight Hansen in the film “This Boy’s Life”, he brutally kicked the sh*t out of Leonardo De Caprio everyday until he felt he had mastered the part.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 14 January, 2003, 08:05:34 am
Many people question the “7” in Blake’s 7, stating that there was actually more/less crew than that. What they fail to realise is that “ ’s 7 ”  was Blake’s surname.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Quirkafleeg on 14 January, 2003, 05:57:01 pm
Actually you're wrong there Karne... Everyone knows Blake is his surname (first name Roj). '7' is actually the Liberator's ships cat. It can be seen in the background on a number of occasions... it's a cyborg created by Zen so is quite difficult to spot.

Why the cat? Well it is a metaphor for Blakes' nemisis Servalan...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 14 January, 2003, 06:03:23 pm
Well you're both wrong.

Blake was actually a robot, and the "s 7" bit means "series seven", as it took the robotics manufacturers six failed attempts to get the android right.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 January, 2003, 01:28:13 am
"Everyone knows Blake is his surname (first name Roj)."

I'm sorry to have to correct you there Gary, but in Blake’s biography " It’s hard to look heroic when you have a curly perm”. He states that his full name is Roj Blake’s7. He shortened it to Blake in an attempt to hide his identity from the federation.

Kerr Avon and Villa Restal used a different tact by setting up a cosmetics company and a time-share venture.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 15 January, 2003, 01:57:37 am
This entire message thread is copyright Dean Yates of Gwent.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 January, 2003, 02:32:05 am
How dare you Trouty. Dean Yates of Gwent was a fictional character created by Shaky Kane to hide behind in order to post highly irreverant facts, whereas I...Oh...Bugger.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 January, 2003, 08:21:34 am
In his novel “Jaws”, Peter Benchley describes the shark as “a big cat with ferocious teeth, claws and a mane”.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 15 January, 2003, 06:18:07 pm
"a humans wave function has a wave length of about  5*10 meters."

no, i don't know what it means either...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 January, 2003, 08:16:12 am
Jennifer Lopez once ate eighty live terrapins because she was “feeling moody”.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 17 January, 2003, 08:15:09 am
Richey James from the Manic Street Preachers is not actually missing. Singer James Dean Bradfield locked him in a wardrobe for a laugh but lost the key. He is too afraid to tell anyone in case he is punished.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 17 January, 2003, 04:35:09 pm
I had a differnt theory myself.

February 1995 wasn't the first time Richie had killed himself.
Nicky, Sean & James had an evil masterplan to make themselves rock superstars - they'd worked out some great tunes but they lacked that *something* - the twisted lunatic ramblings of all the best music (The Doors, Nirvana etc) so they divised a plot to get them.
They roamed accross the world's lunatic asylums searching for a crazy that would fit the style they were after (this is why Richie cannot play guitar).
However being the suicidal type he killed himself & they'd search for another 'Richie' from the nut-houses - someone who looked vaguely similar (this is why his hairstyle radically changed so often)
Unfortunately in '95 they're 27th Richie 'disappeared' rather publically & the band couldn't hush it up.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: potterbeee1 on 17 January, 2003, 05:08:00 pm
so after all this time, he's not really missing but he's really dead??
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 17 January, 2003, 05:21:39 pm
NONSENSE
i saw him just the other day.
he was at a KTV karakoe lounge with a big fat guy in a white jump suit and big side burns.singing a little less conversation. it was not near as good as the orginal verision by nike  though.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 January, 2003, 11:00:26 pm
Because it's Saturday teatime, here's a special Doctor Who fact for you all:

Whilst filming the Doctor Who story "Revenge of the Cybermen", Tom Baker actually killed three of the actors playing Cybermen because he believed they were real.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 18 January, 2003, 11:41:06 pm
Whilst we all know that a standard unmodified diesel engine can be run on used chip oil (best to filter it if you don't want your engine to clog up with fragments of batter and minute particles of deep fried white pudding), few people realise that an ordinary nuclear reactor can be powered for up to 500 years with a single block of "Pura" vegetarian lard...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 19 January, 2003, 01:23:20 am
Amazing. I was always told it was Trex lard. Seemed plausible as Trex just sounds more futuristic in a 50's atom age sorta way. When did they switch to Pura? And was it an eco-friendly PR exercise?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 19 January, 2003, 03:06:58 am
This is deeply worrying. Only today I was at the shops and saw numerous blocks of this 'lard' freely available to any unscrupulous type with money to pay for it.

Who knows how much lard was left behind in the former Soviet Union states?

The UN weapons inspectors in Iraq should focus on grocers shops immediately!

Fact: Spectacles never stop working, no matter how much you use them.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 January, 2003, 08:22:48 am
The phrases “Good as gold” and “Worth their weight in gold” were originally used as insults because gold is not actually a rare metal at all. Jewellers made up the story that it was so that they could charge more for it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 19 January, 2003, 07:09:12 pm
The UN weapons inspectors in Iraq should focus on grocers shops immediately!

Absolutely! What do you think was originally in those empty warheads?

I must say though that in my experience spectacles tend to stop working when sucked up by the grass collector of a ride-on lawnmower.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 19 January, 2003, 09:25:46 pm
The UN weapons inspectors in Iraq should focus on grocers shops immediately!

Alarming new evidence. Tanks could be coated with the stuff to negate DU bullets.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 January, 2003, 12:19:44 am
He, he. Do they do a low fat version of that called "Armour Lite" Smiley?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 20 January, 2003, 05:38:34 am
B'dum - tish!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 January, 2003, 03:14:37 pm
Electricity is created in factories by rubbing huge balloons against equally large jumpers.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: almighty mat on 20 January, 2003, 03:35:10 pm
++This is deeply worrying. Only today I was at the shops and saw numerous blocks of this 'lard' freely available to any unscrupulous type with money to pay for it.

Who knows how much lard was left behind in the former Soviet Union states?

The UN weapons inspectors in Iraq should focus on grocers shops immediately!++

Lard bombs don't sound half as silly as being able to wipe out a city by banging together 2 little bits of metal.

Would the damage be done by the lard exploding, or by people slipping on it banana peel style?

mat

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 January, 2003, 02:42:48 pm
Walt Disney originally conceived Mickey Mouse as a gangsta pimp.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: almighty mat on 21 January, 2003, 02:50:44 pm
Always thought Minnie dressed like a ho.

mat
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 21 January, 2003, 03:41:04 pm
The highest possible break in a frame of snooker is not 147, but is 155 (free ball, black, then a clerance).
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 22 January, 2003, 01:27:02 am

Your right leg has more hair on it than your left one.

Not that I'd know of course, mine are silky-wilky smooooth.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 22 January, 2003, 01:25:58 pm
Well I'll be , it IS a fact.

Fact: putting little numbered tags on all your leg hair takes ages.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 January, 2003, 03:07:09 pm
There is enough electricity in an aardvark to power the city of London and it’s surrounding boroughs for over twenty years.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 January, 2003, 08:52:13 pm
they are also delicous when coated in a little pesto sauce and slowly roasted over sugar cane and bamboo.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 22 January, 2003, 09:05:19 pm
Well it would be risky putting them in an electric oven!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 January, 2003, 09:15:54 pm
fact
the last time this was attempted was in pudding lane london in 1866. and again in 1945 in hiroshima  japan.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 22 January, 2003, 09:17:21 pm
They shouldn't have coated it in lard, then.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 January, 2003, 12:23:50 am
TV chef Jamie Oliver is actually unable to cook or prepare meals of any kind in real life. “I don’t know what I would do without my local chippy,” he says.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 24 January, 2003, 12:30:23 am
So-called real life is, in fact, just a dream.  REAL real life is just too bizarre to even contemplate.  Or is it just my (imaginary) imagination?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 24 January, 2003, 01:25:32 pm
fact ( real one)

the line
play it again sam. from casablanca.
was never uttered.
he said.
you played it for her. now play it for me.
play as time goes by.

it is the most mis quoted line in cinematic history.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 24 January, 2003, 03:06:57 pm
And on a similar note-

"Lead on Macduff" is also wrong.  It's "Lay on Macduff"

Macbeth is about to duel with Macduff, not follow him.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Monarch on 24 January, 2003, 06:02:51 pm
fact highlander 2 was supposed to be a different sci-fi film until the funding ran out and they decided to turn it into a sequal to the highlander

(thats what i keep saying to myself anyway aliens yeah right)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tex Hex on 24 January, 2003, 06:31:04 pm

Carl Turpin (australia) was thought to have the largest eyes in the world. So large that when one was removed in a tragic accident, he couldnt find a large enough glass eye anywhere and has now had a black snooker ball put in as a substitute.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 24 January, 2003, 06:58:23 pm
Some genuine (ie: not made up by me) facts proving that truth is indeed stranger than fiction...

If you yelled continuously for eight years, seven months and six days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If you farted consistently for six years and nine months you would have produced the equivalent energy of an atom bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure so that when punctured it will pump an arc of blood thirty feet.

The orgasm of a pig lasts thirty minutes.

A cockroach can live up to nine days without its head.

Banging your head against a wall uses one hundred and fifty calories per hour.

Cats urine glows under a black light.

The eye of an ostrich is bigger than its brain.

Polar bears are left handed (yay!)

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 January, 2003, 12:33:11 am
George Lucas wrote and filmed the new Star Wars movies for a dare.


karne (who makes the ladies squeal like pigs)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 25 January, 2003, 04:48:09 pm
umm karne. now i remember a character with a  similar abililty in the burt reynolds film. deliverance

but facts.
the reason red indians are so called , was because columbus thought he had reached the shores of india , it was much later they found this was not the case at all.having bumped into america on the way. but the name stuck. the term RED INDAIN was created.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 January, 2003, 09:04:36 pm
He, he, Deliverance, you're a cheeky little monkey D.D. Anyway as this is page three, here’s a special page three fact.

Often referred to as “Page Free Stunna’s”, page three models originally appeared on page six of the Sun newspaper. The term “page three” is actually French for “tits out”.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 January, 2003, 09:15:17 pm
The fly is regarded as a pest by other species because they are renowned for their late night raves, and general rowdiness.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judda fett on 26 January, 2003, 09:35:34 pm
Sea Monkeys ride into battle astride Sea Horses.

Also say 'sea monkeys' really fast.

Try opening a door with that...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 26 January, 2003, 11:48:45 pm
Sea urchins clad in picturesque rags scurry around at the feet of the sea horses, picking up fragments of sea cucumber dropped by the sea monkeys.

Monkey see, mon ki-doooooooo.....
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 27 January, 2003, 01:02:59 am
Those empoverished little sea urchins have been much better off since fish farming chemicals have nuked the sealice. The sea bed disagrees however.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 27 January, 2003, 08:22:21 am
fact,( real one)
there is no natural blue food. it is the only colour in mother natures kitchen which is not ediable.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 27 January, 2003, 02:45:12 pm
...which is why kitchen plasters are blue - so you can see when they've fallen off someone's bloody wounds into the soup.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 January, 2003, 02:46:17 pm
One time BBC newsreader Richard Baker cannot stand to receive bad news. He survived what he describes as his “years of hell” as a news presenter by blocking his ears with cotton wool so that he couldn’t hear what he was saying.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 27 January, 2003, 02:51:53 pm
Fact
if you are a good tax paying memeber of the british work force, when ever you are in a far off land
go to the british embassy and demand to use the rolls royce.
you are entitled to use it as you paid for it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 28 January, 2003, 02:23:00 am
Fact: The US invasion of Iraq is actually timed to co-incide with the release of the next Harry Potter novel, so that on the day no one in the West will pay a blind bit of attention to some shooting.

Judging by the jets blatting over my house in the pitch black, it can't be far off...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 January, 2003, 04:48:25 pm
Brian Blessed’s booming voice is actually dubbed in by another actor. In real life he sound’s like Lorraine Kelly.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judda fett on 29 January, 2003, 04:51:11 am
After posting on here for friggin ages I finally got my act together and sent Wake a Gif so that I may know the joy of ICON and be taken seriously by my fellow boarders. Thankyou Wake.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 January, 2003, 02:39:36 pm
Sir Walter Raleigh planned to introduce tobacco into England much earlier, but fell foul of Customs & Excise. Whilst waiting for someone to invent smuggling, he passed his time by inventing the “Chopper” bicycle.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 January, 2003, 02:54:45 pm
fact ( another true one)
sir walter raleigh introduced the potato to england.
at its first officil cooking the palace chef. pulled up the entire plant. washed it all and made soup out of it.leaves and spuds.
the entire party was violently sick.
the chef was imprisoned for trying to poison the royal household.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 30 January, 2003, 03:20:04 pm
fact,
human flesh has the same texture and qualites as pigs flesh,.they even get sun burnt.this is why you do not find sun bathing by the pool when you on holiday in sunny places.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 31 January, 2003, 01:27:18 am
Turnips bark if poked with a coin.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 31 January, 2003, 06:07:32 am
When the book "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was first published it caused a huge public outcry. Apparently, the publisher accidentally printed the latter half in semaphore.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Monarch on 31 January, 2003, 04:38:44 pm
fact: bison was actually written by garth ennis under an assumed name (god that was evil)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 01 February, 2003, 12:36:38 am
God spends all his time on an outsize sofa, drinking beer and farting and laughing at his Creation on the huge TV in the corner.  Sometimes the Devil turns up and they get a bit lairy.  Polite callers advocating Pantheistic religion and tolerance of diversity are laughed off the doorstep and sometimes physically attacked.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 01 February, 2003, 04:06:08 pm
Football was invented by women.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 01 February, 2003, 04:13:44 pm
computers are female.
evidence to this fact?
any minor mistake made at any time will be hauled up and used against you at some point in the future.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 February, 2003, 09:14:53 pm
ITV often employs hyenas when recording sitcoms so that you will know when to laugh when you watch the finished programme.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 02 February, 2003, 11:41:20 pm
Bushwick Bill, pint-sized dwarf rapper with The Geto Boys changed his name!

"My former name was Bushwick Motherf***ing Bill. My new name is Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 03 February, 2003, 03:24:17 am
"Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir".

So whats his nickname?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 03 February, 2003, 03:42:39 am
Haven't the foggiest.

Link: http://imusic.artistdirect.com/showcase/urban/bushbill.html

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 03 February, 2003, 03:48:51 am
Hmm, after reading his explanation of his title, I would guess it's "gobsh*te".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 February, 2003, 12:09:00 am
Giraffes are actually no higher than two feet tall. People who describe them as being large have no sense of perspective.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 04 February, 2003, 03:29:06 pm
Actually Karne, they're described as "large" because they originated from the Manchester drug scene.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 February, 2003, 11:53:24 pm
"they originated from the Manchester drug scene"

I imagine that's why these people have no sense of perspective. Sorted!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 February, 2003, 11:54:58 pm
Bono from U2 say’s that, “Without jam, society would collapse within a week”.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 05 February, 2003, 03:04:12 pm
Fact another real one.

In the 16th and 17th centuries, before commercial fertilizer was invented,Large shipments of manure were transported by ship. It was shipped in dry bundles because in dry form it weighed a lot less when wet. But once water hit it at sea, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began, a by-product of which is methane gas. It didn't take long for methane to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several were destroyed in this manner before somebody figured out what was happening. Once they determined the role that manure played in the explosions, everybody began stamping the bundles with the term "Ship High In Transit," so that the sailors would know to stow it high enough off the lower decks that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T," which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 06 February, 2003, 12:16:41 am
The Lord of the Rings was actually an autobiography.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 06 February, 2003, 01:26:23 pm
the novel lord of the rings was not made into a movie long ago as the chaps in hollywood felt the first book in this series was poor. the executives at the studios behind it said.

LORD OF THE FLIES

failed to make a big impression at the box office.as such we whre not interested in taking the franchise further.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 07 February, 2003, 12:23:33 am
The cheetah is the worlds fastest land mammal and can accelerate from 0 to 45mph in two seconds. It is however, incapable of handbrake turns.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 February, 2003, 01:38:30 am
The banana is actually a mammal.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 February, 2003, 09:35:10 pm
Elvis actually hated rock and roll. He was often quoted as saying: “I hate rock n’ roll, give me techno any day…Momma”.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 09 February, 2003, 06:05:05 am
Film actor Johnny Depp is not really selective about the roles he plays, and takes any job he is offered. In reality, he is only ever given parts in cult films made by maverick directors.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 February, 2003, 09:49:51 am
Fact,
johhny depp is to play both judge dredd and Rico in the new movie.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 February, 2003, 06:13:07 am
It has often been thought that TV presenter Johnny Morris voiced all of the animals on BBC Television’s “Animal Magic”. This was not actually the case as the animals were all Equity cardholders.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 10 February, 2003, 05:11:16 pm
Every piece of art ever shown in the Gallery on Vision-On was actually drawn by Sandy Toksvig, whilst dancing naked to Showaddywaddy.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 10 February, 2003, 05:58:01 pm
Useless trivia:

BRASS MONKEY

In the middle ages, ships were heavily laden with food, water and cargo. Obviously, it was all stowed below decks. However, to be sure that the loading was even and didn't cause the ship to list to one side, an "n" shaped set of brass balls were hung from a spike on the deck, through two holes in the deck floor, so that they could be seen below. This created a kind of artificial horizon for the men below; if the balls shifted one way then they could tell they were causing the ship to list.

However, when it got very cold the wood in the deck would contract and snap off the balls. Hence the expression, "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey."

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Monarch on 10 February, 2003, 06:55:39 pm
fact: the film version of the shining differs from the original book because it is an autobiographic account of jack nicolsons drug fueled days as a movie director.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: El Spurioso on 10 February, 2003, 07:07:20 pm
Fact: primitive humans reached all corners of the globe using the swamp-preserved carcasses of stegosaurs and spinosaurs as sailboats.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JimBob on 11 February, 2003, 04:12:30 am
Fact: Michael Jackson does not exist, he is a bio-suit warn by Gary Coleman in an attempt to pull chicks.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 11 February, 2003, 06:09:10 am
Ronan Keating, ex member of boy band “Boyzone” is a trained veterinarian. Fans often bring their pets to his concerts so that he can check that they are alright.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 11 February, 2003, 08:55:15 pm
Matt Fact:  If you walked to the shops really, really slowly and then ran back as fast as you could, you'd meet yourself on the way.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 11 February, 2003, 09:00:09 pm
Matt Fact:  If you gave your earlier self the shopping and told him not to bother going to the shops because you've already done it- the universe would grind to a halt due to the nature of this hugely improbable paradox.  Absolute true fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JimBob on 11 February, 2003, 09:36:57 pm
Scojo is a pen name for either Kate Bush or Tom Stoppard.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 11 February, 2003, 10:12:38 pm
Matt Fact:  If you go to the Brian Bolland website, you'll see that his opening picture is uncannily simillar to my icon- thus proving the theory of "morphic resonance" to be absolute and irrefutable FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: El Spurioso on 11 February, 2003, 10:54:09 pm
Fact: You can prove anything using facts.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 11 February, 2003, 11:14:32 pm
Matt Fact:  Any proclamation made by somebody who isn't actually in possession of all, or indeed, any of the facts can wing it by following said proclamation with the word "FACT", in big letters.  When this happens, the proclamation becomes written in stone and will survive until the end of all time.  FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 12 February, 2003, 11:48:36 pm
Facts about work:
1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.  You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught  -- your best defence is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Messy desk Top management can get away with a clean desk.  For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.  

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.

10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere

rotts
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 February, 2003, 12:35:16 am
Hens and ostriches are actually capable of flight, but suffer from airsickness and so prefer to stay on the ground.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 February, 2003, 03:13:23 pm
Eggs contain traces of microwave radiation, and will in fact cook themselves if left for long enough.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 13 February, 2003, 03:28:58 pm
FACT.
the term Executive Chef. when translated form old world french to english means
fat lazy bastard who shouts a lot and no longer cooks.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 February, 2003, 12:31:03 am
To celebrate DareDevil’s theatrical opening here’s a related fact:

DareDevil is known as the man without fear, however this title has recently come under dispute following an incident in which he was invited to sleep over at Neverland.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 February, 2003, 06:22:17 am
It's a rollover week! This time you get double the facts.

Mystic Meg, the marginally famous insane TV astrologer, would deliberately give out false predictions on the National Lottery so that the police would not suspect her of being the infamous “Lottery Winner Slayer”.

Alan Dedicoat, was so-named the “Voice of the balls”, because he used to perform a ventriloquist act using Chris Moyles as a dummy.




Cry havoc and let slip the balls of war!



Someone with a vowel in their name will be celebrating tooo oooo….

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 February, 2003, 06:10:42 am
During the making of the Wizard of Oz, several of the actors playing Munchkins were killed when Judy Garland accidentally sat on them.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 17 February, 2003, 11:29:12 am
Fact
the excel higher mathmatics format cells in your computer do not work at all.but because only 0.0000000000001% of the population would ever actaully need to use them bill gates felt it was a great way to earn extra cash,.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 February, 2003, 01:01:30 am
Bats are not really blind. They actually qualify for glasses from the National Health Service and take full advantage of the benefits.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 February, 2003, 10:14:57 pm
Ferguson-bashed footballer David Beckham is not actually that keen on football. He says "I would much rather have been a carpet salesman, at least you don't get hit on the head by football boots."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 18 February, 2003, 11:04:48 pm
Alex Ferguson's beetroot-like visage is in fact the result of a sponsorship deal with paint manufacturers Dulux. The colour is listed in their catalogue as "Fergie Fuschia".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 February, 2003, 01:50:48 am
Children’s TV show “Teletubbies” started out on a Dutch porn channel.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 20 February, 2003, 03:27:28 pm
Daredevil is actually known as "Blindie" by Terry the Mint-Snake.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 20 February, 2003, 05:05:31 pm
Robert Wagner, a life-long amateur scientist, spent much of the 1970s researching the bouyancy properties of timber. However, his experiments were cut short in 1981 when he discovered a wood that wouldn't float.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 20 February, 2003, 05:29:26 pm
It's also a fact that Stefanie Powers husband had great difficulty holden on during the same experiment.

Fact: there is NO connection with Wagner and Powers marrying straight after their respective spouses snuffed it. People just took "When dey met, it was moider" to hart and came to their own conclusions.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 20 February, 2003, 05:51:02 pm
I think you're getting Stephanie Powers mixed up with Jill St John, who he married about '91 but had been shagging for donkey's years.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 20 February, 2003, 05:59:11 pm
No, it can't be a mix up - he said FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 20 February, 2003, 11:54:59 pm
Okay, only Wagner and Wood were actually married...

Perhaps a coincidence holds the key to Natalie's tragic death. Less than two weeks before she was found floating in the sea, reclusive actor William Holden was found dead in his apartment in Santa Monica with a blood alcohol level three times the driving limit.

Holden, 63, was the boyfriend of Stefanie Powers, Wagner's co-star in the highly successful TV series Hart To Hart. And Natalie suspected that she and RJ (Robert Wagner) were having an affair.

Although Stefanie has always denied this, she certainly spent a great deal of time with RJ then and since. Everyone remarked on the onscreen chemistry between them. 'If I could bottle it, it would make a fortune,' said Stefanie.

Natalie, who was beginning to feel middle-aged, was deeply suspicious of Stefanie, who was five years younger. With her flaming red hair and athletic prowess - she had been a bullfighter in Mexico - Stefanie even sported her Hart To Hart prop wedding ring off-screen.


Fact: old Hollywood corpses smell as bad as any other.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 February, 2003, 12:52:26 am
Utah is the world’s largest exporter of elephant’s hats.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 February, 2003, 06:27:47 am
Scientist have made an amazing discovery concerning the reason why elephants never forget. It appears that instead of a brain they have a really large hard drive. Further experiments showed that when test elephants were exposed to high electro-magnetic forces they were left shambling amnesiacs.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 21 February, 2003, 04:20:25 pm
FACT
only FEMALE ELEPHANTS never forget.
(as they have a large Hard drive as noted by the very clever Karne.)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 21 February, 2003, 05:53:35 pm
In 1983, a Japanese artist, Tadahiko Ogawa, made a copy of the Mona Lisa completely out of ordinary toast.


The IRS employees tax manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.  


The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.  

Until the 1960's men with long hair were not allowed to enter Disneyland.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 21 February, 2003, 05:54:29 pm
by the way, the ones i just said were ALL true...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 21 February, 2003, 06:17:35 pm
I can believe the IR35 one. Bastards.

FACT: The Banana Splits (of Saturday morning TV fame way before Ant and Dec) were actually THE DOORS dressed up.  MR MOJO RISIN himself was DROOPER.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 February, 2003, 01:14:56 am
So who was the dead Banana Split in the bath?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 February, 2003, 06:26:19 am
Here’s the final part of the “Elephant Trilogy”...

Evolution seems to have finally caught up in the battle between poachers and elephants. In recent studies, wildlife experts have found that elephants have developed amazing new camouflage/mimicry techniques. Unfortunately for the elephants, disguising themselves as Grand pianos has done little to deter the poachers from blowing their hard drives out and pinching their tusks.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 22 February, 2003, 07:09:51 am
This one's true as well...

The 1960's tv drama "The War Game" was banned at the time because the government considered it too accurate to be shown. This you probably know. But did you know that when it was finally screened in the 80s, it was STILL censored, because such scenes as policemen shooting people sick from radiation poisoning reflected too accurately government policy at the time.
AND... the recent DVD release is STILL censored. Which makes you wonder what Tony Blair's got up his sleeve for the forthcoming Dubya sponsored Armageddon...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 February, 2003, 07:23:11 pm
H.G. Wells was inspired to write “The War of the Worlds” after finding a Martian invasion force at the bottom of his garden. He later wrote “The Invisible Man” after spending a day with a Big Issue vendor.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judgejampot on 23 February, 2003, 07:32:48 pm
There is a large brass statue of Winnie-the-Pooh in Lima, Peru.


A baby in Florida was named Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestdestiny. His middle name is George James.


A Canadian Tour company offers a two-day course in igloo building.


A Canadian, Troy Hurtubise, spent $100,000 and almost went bankrupt building a RoboCop style suit so that he could withstand a bear attack.


According to ancient chinese astrologers, 70% of omens are bad.


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 February, 2003, 07:40:33 pm
"70% of omens are bad".

The first two were great but I thought "Final Conflict" let the side down a bit...oh, and then there was that fourth one with Damiens sister in...THWACK!...*
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 25 February, 2003, 01:40:30 am
In Jasmine, Saskatchewan, it is illegal for a cow to moo within 300 km of a private home.


Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.


In Alaska it is illegal to shoot at a moose from the window of an aeroplane or other flying vehicle.


In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

Again, all true...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 February, 2003, 01:57:04 am
Here’s a special Dickie Hillman fact to celebrate tonight’s thrill packed episode of "The Nations favourite"...

Brian Capron almost failed the audition for the part of Richard Hillman after a rather lacklustre performance. However, during the audition, Brian noticed the director’s disinterested look, lost the plot completely and brutally murdered a passing Granada studios tea lady. The director was so impressed that Brian was given the part on the spot.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: W. R. Logan on 25 February, 2003, 04:11:58 am
>In Jasmine, Saskatchewan, it is illegal for a cow to moo within 300 km of a private home.

Spent 5 days in the Saskatchewan area after a big exercise in Canada, and spent the night in a campsite at the beginning of winter. Only 6 of us as no right minded person would be camping in those temperatures and can highly recommend it to anyone. The only disconcerting thing were the posters nailed to every other tree offering a $10,000 dollar reward for information leading to the capture of Sasquatch. Didn?t sleep well that night 8-)

La Placa Rifa,
W. R. Logan.

Link: BigFoot

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 25 February, 2003, 02:46:56 pm
What's "The War Game"? (Clearly not a Dr Who episode).

FACT: Good Omens is a jolly good book. Watch Dogma after you read it for some uncanny similarities.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 25 February, 2003, 03:15:37 pm
Kind of like "Threads" only more scathing...

Peter Watkins 'The War Game' was a fictional, worst-case-scenario docu-drama about nuclear war and its aftermath in and around a typical English city. Although it won an Oscar for Best Documentary, it is fiction. Intended as an hour-long program to air on BBC 1, it was deemed too intense and violent to broadcast. It went to theatrical distribution as a feature film instead. Low-budget and shot on location, it strives for and achieves convincing and unflinching realism. It argues that citizens and Civil Defense authorities are poorly prepared for this eventuality, and describes possible physical, psychological and social damage in graphic detail.

Fact: The 100 Years War lasted 116 years.

Link: http://www.bfi.org.uk/videocat/more/wargame/

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 25 February, 2003, 03:19:58 pm
Cheers for the link. Need to track that down - it looks a bit scary.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 February, 2003, 02:04:32 am
A nice fact that is in no way influenced by one of the current topics on the board for you today...

It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile...unless you are Jack Napier.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 February, 2003, 12:56:27 am
Onions make you cry because they contain a subliminal version of "Lassie Come Home" which is released upon cutting into them.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 27 February, 2003, 01:03:38 am
Fact: 19.2% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 February, 2003, 04:41:12 am
Like most inventions the humble VCR takes its name from its inventor, Trevor Videorecorder.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 28 February, 2003, 07:27:06 am
FACT: The original script for Halo Jones book 2 featured a race of evil mutant trout who controlled the destiny of mankind. Due to a "War Game" style government cover-up, this was replaced by dolphins.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 28 February, 2003, 05:58:25 pm
fact the X files was a fly on the wall documentary.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 28 February, 2003, 06:43:03 pm
FICTION: The computer you are using has a wonderful appreciation of Oasis.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 28 February, 2003, 09:49:47 pm
FICTION: Mrs X can has no appreciation of Oasis. Or any bloomin' clothes shop for that matter
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 01 March, 2003, 12:20:53 am
Whilst filming “Braveheart” Aussie actor Mel Gibson decided to play a joke on the English by wandering into the houses of Parliament dressed as William Wallace and challenging the British Government to a fight. The prank went hideously wrong however when he was sentenced to death by disembowelment and hanging, drawing and quartering.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 01 March, 2003, 12:59:50 am
FACT one of the quarters of William Wallace is buried under Wallace Green, Berwick Upon Tweed.  One of Guy Fawkes' quarters was gibbeted at Berwick, too.  'Tis a place with a most bloodthirsty history (and home to Captain and Mrs Zeep for many a year)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 01 March, 2003, 04:51:17 am
FACT: Berwick-upon-tweed is the only english football team allowed to play in the scottish leagues.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 01 March, 2003, 10:29:18 am
FACT
Berwick-upon-tweed is the only english football team allowed to play in the scottish leagues. because they new every english team would beat them
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 01 March, 2003, 05:27:40 pm
Fact
PLYMOUTH ARGYLE football club. are the only english team with a green in there regular playing colours.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 March, 2003, 12:40:12 am
Scientists have discovered a type of grain, which displays an unusually firm surface texture. It is generally being referred to as “hard pore corn”.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 02 March, 2003, 05:23:19 pm
FACT: Since the demise of vinyl LPs the devil has no means of subverting young heavy metal fans.

SUB_FACT: Attempting to make a CD player spin in the reverse direction may invalidate your warranty.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 March, 2003, 07:16:47 pm
Children’s TV show Blue Peter was originally conceived as a soap opera involving the lives of two presenters and their pets.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 03 March, 2003, 04:12:25 pm
Not so much a fact as such, but here's the Chef's Tip for March:

This Shrove Tuesday, which falls on 4 March, liven up the humble pancake by turning it into a crepe suzette.  Mix the juice and zest of limes or lemons with orange juice, pour into melted butter and caster sugar in a pan, then heat each pancake in the tangy juices for 30 seconds each side.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 March, 2003, 04:33:59 pm
fact,
the humble pencil sold over 40 million units,in 2002 alone.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 March, 2003, 02:34:47 am
The Vampire Bat is so called because it looks like Bela Lugosi.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 05 March, 2003, 12:41:35 am
FACT
Berwick-upon-tweed [that would be Berwick Rangers FC] is the only english football team allowed to play in the scottish leagues. because they new every english team would beat them

...and most Scottish teams come to that, though they did hold Celtic to a draw not so long ago - not bad for a bunch of part-timers.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 05 March, 2003, 01:04:42 am
Eighties pop stars Duran Duran take their name from a type of chimney.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 06 March, 2003, 02:38:21 am
Children’s TV show Bagpuss was based on a true story, although it did originally feature a pilot called Amelia Earhart.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 07 March, 2003, 03:03:00 am
Arthur C. Clarke the famous Sci-Fi author admits he knows nothing at all about space travel. "I just copied it all from an old Eagle annual" he says.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 07 March, 2003, 11:57:52 am
FACT true one.
the nobel peace prize

was created by joseph nobel. a mutli-millionaire who created it for the simple reason of being able to leave his name in history.for something good.he made his money by inventing dynamite.
he only gave less then 1% of his fortune to set up the fund and laureate.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 March, 2003, 12:08:09 am
People assume that because potatoes grow beneath the soil that they are a vegetable. This is not actually the case as they are in fact a particularly shy type of fruit.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 March, 2003, 10:03:09 am
fact (true one)
Edward george Honey.invented the ceremony of silence.
the practise of holding 1 minute of silence to show respect to those who died in battle.

he named the ceremony LEST WE FORGET,
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 March, 2003, 10:05:31 am
Fact
mayor ken  plans to phase out the trains on london underground. creating a huge network of underground bicycle tracks.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 March, 2003, 10:19:27 am
fact
the highly priced beer Becks is now on a specail  offer at tesco w
which means you no longer have to be posh to swallow becks.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 08 March, 2003, 03:42:52 pm
Hee, hee. Those golden balls must only be bronze now.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 March, 2003, 08:33:46 pm
The term “biscuit” is Latin for “twice the whore”.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 09 March, 2003, 06:14:56 am
Dick Van Dyke really was a full-blooded cockney. He faked the extremely bad accent in Mary Poppins to hide the truth from his posh new friends.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 March, 2003, 11:54:35 am
Fact (true one.)
chitty chitty bang bang was the first novel by writer.Ian Fleming.
he then created the character james bond for
his second novel which  was casion royale and then DR.No.the rest as they say is history.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judda fett on 09 March, 2003, 06:54:22 pm
Rice Krispies get their name from Sir William Rice-Qurispy inventor of rice.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judgejampot on 09 March, 2003, 07:36:23 pm
Fact: the tooth fairy is infact a myth.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 March, 2003, 02:57:15 pm
David Soul, one half of 70’s crime fighting TV duo Starsky & Hutch, had a bitter off screen relationship with his co-star Paul Michael Glaser over who was the star of the show. Soul finally quit the series completely when he learned that the actual star was the Ford Gran Torino.



Oooh!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 10 March, 2003, 03:33:24 pm
Cows, when viewed from some distance away, appear small.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 10 March, 2003, 03:34:58 pm
Every dog in the isle of man,is called Nigel.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 11 March, 2003, 02:45:24 pm
Hamsters are able to carry items as large as a Vauxhall Astra in their cheek pouches.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 11 March, 2003, 06:29:41 pm
"Cows, when viewed from some distance away, appear small. "

No no no... they actually get smaller as they go further away...don't they?

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 11 March, 2003, 06:46:53 pm
The Americain state of Ohio is physically round at each end and high in the middle, hence the name.

D.EVO
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 11 March, 2003, 06:48:44 pm
FACT/Spoiler:

The first pyramids were built by midwifes of jam and pyrethurms, hence the name.

Proudhuff
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 12 March, 2003, 04:43:24 am
The novel "Return Of The King" was written by Joan Wilder, as evidenced in her movie "Jewel Of The Nile." Seriously. Go check it out - the facts are all there.

I should probably mention that this interesting fact was revealed to me by TheDevilsBidness on the Ain't It Cool News forum. I saw this & thought of you...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 12 March, 2003, 02:41:53 pm
Fact
true one
the first CD pressed and released in the USA was bruce springsteen, born in the USA.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 12 March, 2003, 02:47:22 pm
Fact: I have had the same bookmark for over twenty years, and still have (and use) the pen I sat my O Grades and Higeres with. Yet I always lose red biros and till receipts in a matter of hours.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 12 March, 2003, 04:46:39 pm
I'm still using the bookmark I got in (IIRC) '94 (the year the film Jurrassic Park came out anyway - that was the first book I read using it)

But in my English GCSEs exams - my fountin pen died in the first, so I had to finish it in biro & my biro died in the second one, so I had to finish it in pencil.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 12 March, 2003, 07:18:43 pm
fact: Muscovites often carve mongoose excrement into portraits of recently dead relatives, These are then used to keep evil sprits from resting on TV aerials at night.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 March, 2003, 12:30:03 am
Famous crisp snatcher Gary Lineker can’t actually eat the potato-derived snacks as they cause dog-like growths to sprout from his face. The crisps he "eats" in the Walkers adverts are in fact computer generated.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judgejampot on 13 March, 2003, 03:20:36 am
lord of the rings is actually a work of fiction.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 14 March, 2003, 01:50:03 am
Citrus fruit derives its bitterness from failed relationships.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 14 March, 2003, 06:07:17 am
Alexander Graham Bell was a sexually frustrated man who invented the telephone solely so that he could phone adult chat lines. He died penniless in 1922 after receiving his first phone bill.



What are you wearing, you dirty little minx?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 14 March, 2003, 11:36:29 am
FACT
the vegetarian society as placed ribena on its list of not acceptable beverages after the disclosure of that the little ribena berrie people in the adverts where in fact real.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 14 March, 2003, 06:10:05 pm
MATT FACT: My belly button is slightly off centre and 'leans' toward the right side of my body.  I am a freak of nature and will be putting my house on the market to pay for immediate and quite necessary corrective surgery.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 14 March, 2003, 06:26:08 pm
Matt - take photos of it & sell them on eBay to raise the money for your surgery.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 March, 2003, 06:24:59 pm
Wrinkles are caused by tiny little mites that plough their way through the skin, creating tiny furrows as they go.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 March, 2003, 07:27:15 pm
The Great Fire of London was started by King Charles II’s baker at Pudding Lane when he inadvertently dropped a cigarette down the back of his settee.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 17 March, 2003, 10:05:51 pm
Fact - hopefully this is the 200th post to this thread.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 17 March, 2003, 10:48:19 pm
Fact: yes it was.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 March, 2003, 02:23:46 am
Ooh! You deserve a prize for being the 2ooth fact poster Dr X. Would you like a copy of the Doctor Who Graphic Novel "Mark of Mandragora"?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 March, 2003, 02:26:34 am
The first lighthouse was built around 280 B.C. in an attempt to stop squid from bumping into swimmers off the coast of Egypt.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 18 March, 2003, 03:26:49 pm
I'll take anything! What do I get if I post another 800 and reach the 1000 mark?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 18 March, 2003, 04:41:24 pm
Karne,

You are most generous.

I bet you have a complete collection of the Big Issue.

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 18 March, 2003, 08:48:46 pm
Fact;

I once ate 6 mars bars in half an hour.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 March, 2003, 02:04:58 am
"What do I get if I post another 800 and reach the 1000 mark?"

Ah, it's a HUGE surprise and I'd hate to spoil it for you. You'll just have wait and see (and keep posting ;)).


P.S. Sling me an e-mail with your address on and I'll mail the Dr Who G/N off at the weekend.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 19 March, 2003, 02:10:25 am
FACT: 'Hospital Porter' is a oxymoron!

"I need at least two more men to move that (Filing cabinet that I shifted on my own with my sack truck in the end). Tits.

rotts apologises to hospital porters who arent lazy, workshy, nomarks witless sense than th chief exec!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 March, 2003, 02:10:46 am
"I bet you have a complete collection of the Big Issue."

I did have, but I donated them all to the local children's hospital so that they could benefit from the sheer thrill power of...er, actually I may have mixed them up with my spare 2K's. No wonder they were all crying.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 March, 2003, 02:16:46 am
Wow! That was spoooooky! I posted a hospital themed reply just as Rott's did.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 March, 2003, 02:19:59 am
Eighties pop sensations Bananarama got their name because none of them knew how to spell Bahamas properly.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 March, 2003, 01:59:48 pm
The Magna Carta was the forerunner to what has become known today as the Argos Catalogue.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 19 March, 2003, 02:57:23 pm
While working on a building site I unearthed a bomb!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 20 March, 2003, 10:58:38 pm
While working on a building site in Belize (Central America) I once saw a man almost chop his own leg off with a buzzsaw, then fall off the edge of a thirty foot high building with aforementioned buzzsaw.

Ouch.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 March, 2003, 01:15:45 am
Whereupon he became a "long man short"! Boom Boom!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 March, 2003, 01:18:59 am
Do you still want your prize Dr X? If so I'm going to need somewhere to send it. Hint, hint ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 March, 2003, 01:36:50 am
To celebrate the start of the war and the various bloodshed that will ensue for numerous ulterior motives, here’s a special war based fact for all our plucky boys spilling their guts and dying miles from home in the name of freedom, an end to terrorism and the control of the oilfields.

The rules of war were invented by people who believe that true bravery is shown by sending troops into battle and watching them be slaughtered from a safe distance away in order to win air miles and half price rail travel.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 22 March, 2003, 12:36:47 am
Legendary film star John Wayne was really a wardrobe.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 March, 2003, 02:08:23 am
Many history books insist that the Taj Mahal was built as a tomb for the favourite wife of Mogul emperor Shah Jehan. However new records show that on an earlier occasion he’d told the local police that his wife had gone away for a while and that he’d built it as a surprise for when she got back.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 22 March, 2003, 02:17:31 am
I once had a shower with two american girls.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 March, 2003, 02:29:12 am
"I once had a shower with two american girls."

Had a shower? Did you get rid of it? And why would you want to part-own a shower anyway?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 22 March, 2003, 02:38:50 am
Possible Fact:
None of the boarders have heard or remember the indie 'classic' 'preposterous tales'!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 March, 2003, 10:24:19 am
Fact.
the so called generals who are plotting the war in iraq really work for sony and are actually trying out new game play scripts for the PS2 christmas 2004 release.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 March, 2003, 03:11:12 pm
Although it has long been though that fleas carried by rats caused the Black Death, new research suggests it may have been brought to England by potatoes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 23 March, 2003, 04:58:21 am
Oh but we have.

Preposterous tales - now then, now then - preposterous tales in the life of Ken Mackenzie.

Be off with you Mr. WoD and come back with an actual fact.

'Post-its' were inspired by the ancient custom of writing messages on wooden posts then leaving them lying aroud in the vain hope that someone might read them. And that's a fact, Jack.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 23 March, 2003, 05:10:18 am
Oh and another fact. Apart from WoD, I reckon no boarder remembers another indie classic "I'm considering a move to Memphis".

Too much time spent listening to that John Peel, that's your trouble my lad.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 23 March, 2003, 05:18:21 am
 I reckon no boarder remembers another indie classic "I'm considering a move to Memphis".

That was The Colour-blind James Experience, that was!

Do I get a prize?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 March, 2003, 05:07:35 pm
Although credited with the first successful aeroplane flight, Wilbur and Orville Wright were actually building a shelving unit when a strong wind caught it and Orville was forced to leap on to it in an attempt to stop it from blowing away.



“Hey Wilbur! How come items in the MFI sale are the same price as when they’re not having a sale?”  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 23 March, 2003, 10:25:31 pm
'Mr WoD'

Thanks Dounraey, I like that.  

I found out recently that antelopes are allergic to sundew water melons.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 24 March, 2003, 01:40:29 pm
fact.
eskimos have 134 words for snow.

likely this is neccary for the benefit of converations
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 March, 2003, 01:55:45 pm
One time singer with the Boomtown Rats Bob Geldof is well known for his charity work with Live Aid. What people may not know is that he also raised a lot of money for hens that suffer with agoraphobia.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 24 March, 2003, 07:00:33 pm
Fact: There are more true facts on this thread than in a year's worth of The Sun newspaper.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: El Spurioso on 24 March, 2003, 07:05:24 pm
Using an experimental device allowing the user to bend space and time, Iraqi despot Saddam Hussain is impossible to kill because he spends all his time hiding inside his own eyebrows.  FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Jared Katooie on 24 March, 2003, 08:08:30 pm
FACT: The largest artery of the blue whale is large enough to drive a volkswagon beetle down it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Art on 25 March, 2003, 02:34:33 am
Construction workers are racing against time to construct a giant glass gherkin in the heart of downtown London. Fact!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 25 March, 2003, 02:51:41 am
FACT: many psychiatrists could make a career out of the posts on this thread. FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 March, 2003, 06:13:07 am
Oil and water do not mix because they have opposing viewpoints.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 25 March, 2003, 03:20:44 pm
You can not kill sharks with a rocket launcher.  GTA FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 25 March, 2003, 04:25:15 pm
FACT Tony Hart re-started his career in the mid-90's as an American pro-wrestler.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 27 March, 2003, 12:06:56 am
Owls are able to see in the dark through the use of powerful inbuilt flashlights. No one has ever been able to successfully capture evidence of this on film on account of not being able to sneak up on a bird who’s head is fully capable of turning all the way round.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 27 March, 2003, 12:16:16 am
The makers of the TV show 'Barney' always have a squad of heavily armed guards waiting just off camera, in case the T. Rex would ever try to attack any of the children.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 March, 2003, 01:55:02 am
The Bridge of Sighs in Venice derives its name from the fact it is so large, and is spelt wrong.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 27 March, 2003, 08:24:52 am
FACT: Cilla Black is a talented and well loved T.V personality.







On the planet Venus that is.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 March, 2003, 01:54:57 pm
The enigmatic smile of the Mona Lisa was the result of Leonardo Da Vinci showing her his trouser-mouse.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 March, 2003, 01:50:47 pm
The Praying Mantis derives its name from the fact that it was one of the first species of insect to be accepted into the church by the early Christian missionary’s.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 28 March, 2003, 02:47:48 pm
Fact: It's my Mom's birthday today.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 28 March, 2003, 05:58:39 pm
Fact. true one

jeremy irons the actor.
flew from the US to london on concorde during the last gulf war.he was the only passenger on board.
this has never been repeated in the supersonic planes history.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 March, 2003, 02:36:28 am
"jeremy irons the actor.
flew from the US to london on concorde during the last gulf war."


I imagine he thought it was the only transport that could get his cowardly arse out of a potential terrorist target, fast enough.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 March, 2003, 04:51:38 pm
Many hundreds of years ago, a meteor crash-landed in the back garden of King Harold. Taking it to be an omen, he set about launching Britain’s first space programme, only to be killed at Hastings when a rocket from the rival French space programme landed in his eye.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 29 March, 2003, 07:13:47 pm
The actor Antonio Benderas was upset recently, when he returned home only to find that his let-herself-go-hasn't-she wife Melene Griffith, in a depressed eating binge, had consumed his entire coop of prize racing pidgeons, including his favorite one, Pam.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 March, 2003, 05:45:38 pm
Walnut faced “Auf Wiedersehen Pet” star Jimmy Nail once seriously hurt his hand after punching what he described as “An ugly lucking blerk who was giving us dorty looks like”. It later transpired that he had in fact punched his own reflection in a plate glass window.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 31 March, 2003, 11:49:43 am
Fact,
Men know ten things about every women they meet other then they have too many pairs of shoes.
1/they have breasts
2/they have breasts
3/they have breasts
4/they have breasts
5/they have breasts
6/they have breasts
7/they have breasts
8/they have breasts
9/they have breasts
10/THEY HAVE BREASTS
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 31 March, 2003, 02:45:45 pm
Women have breasts? Now you're just making facts up aren't you DD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 31 March, 2003, 02:48:25 pm
Kirkpatrick MacMillan of Dumfriesshire constructed the first example of a rideable bicycle. He did this because he was having little luck finding a girlfriend and thought he could impress the ladies by "popping wheelies".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 31 March, 2003, 05:48:41 pm
Turtles can breathe through their bums.

FACT!

WOD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 01 April, 2003, 12:20:09 pm
FACT.
the lengh of time a person measures a minute of time depends on which side of the tiollette door they are standing.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 01 April, 2003, 02:34:58 pm
Hey Karne, now that it's April Fools Day, you'll be able to post a joke fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 01 April, 2003, 02:53:31 pm
"Hey Karne, now that it's April Fools Day, you'll be able to post a joke fact."

Hey that's an idea. How about...

On September 26th 1842 Mexican President Antonia de Santa Anna held a funeral for his leg. Two years later the leg was stolen from the Pantheon of Saint Paula and to this day its whereabouts remain unknown.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 April, 2003, 04:29:23 pm
A new month: Here's Chef's Tip:

The asparagus season starts mid April.  Make the most of it witha a seasonal starter by wrapping steamed stalks in slices of prosciutto, sprinkling with freshly grated Parmesan, and quickly roasting for 10 minutes in the oven.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 01 April, 2003, 05:40:20 pm
Fact,
its KARNES birthday today.

at least i think it should be :~)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 01 April, 2003, 09:06:52 pm
Fact: The orginal happy ending of Apocalyse Now! was changed after a valley test viewing.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 01 April, 2003, 09:08:34 pm
Fact: The Pogues are the only band in the world who's rider included 3 blind mice and an airpistol at every gig.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 01 April, 2003, 09:20:25 pm
*The Isle of Sheppley is in fact a crashed spaceship.

*A squaddie in Edinburgh Castle once removed its Volcanic plug by accident, disaster was only averted by a quick thinking cleaner who stuffed the hole with passing mouse.

* Chile is the only country named after a food.

*The youngest contestent on Blind date was a foetus, it won a weekend for two ferreting in Cumbria.

*Most fish can swim backwards, they just chose not to as it makes them waterlogged.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: thinky on 01 April, 2003, 09:26:22 pm
inspired by DD's 'women have breasts' reply, here's one i found earlier.

I'm sure Bou will have some salient points to make on this one :)

Link: http://www.thebigego.com/item/item.asp?id=100114

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: thinky on 01 April, 2003, 09:27:14 pm
... and this time i'll do it right

Link: how to please women

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 01 April, 2003, 10:10:28 pm



Personally all I ask for is someone with a good sense of humour and a good f...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: thinky on 01 April, 2003, 11:03:02 pm
... foot massage, i know i know.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 02 April, 2003, 02:50:48 pm
Recent restoration of the Bayeux Tapestry has revealed a copyright notice belonging to IPC magazines.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 April, 2003, 02:58:54 pm
Well-known guerrilla leader Che Guevara was so impressed by Robert Lindsay’s performance as "Wolfie" Smith in BBC TV sit-com Citizen Smith, that he adopted his image in the hope it would rally his followers into battle.



Power to the people!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 02 April, 2003, 06:38:04 pm
FACT:  The Simpsons 'Top Trumps' game scoring is way off and makes a mockery of all that makes Top Trumps a valuable source of protein.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 02 April, 2003, 06:51:30 pm
You can get 50% off a New Scientist subscription if you call 01622 778000 and quote code 1431. It's the second best thing to come through my letterbox every week.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 03 April, 2003, 02:50:29 pm
Dolphins are the only mammals apart from humans to invest in real estate.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 04 April, 2003, 01:19:26 am
Sorry for the delay in answering Capt. Zeep. The Colour Blind James Experience is the right answer.

Your prize is the recognition of your peers that you in fact have impecable taste in music and are obviously a top bloke.

(Not very interesting) FACT : At last, at long long last, my computer woes are solved.

(Obvious) FACT : Computer Technical Helplines have much in common with chocolate fireguards.

(Helpful) FACT : Not being able to access message boards for weeks gives you enough free time to learn to juggle live ferrits while ski-ing through a revolving door.    
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 April, 2003, 02:28:45 pm
Margaret Thatcher was not in fact Britain’s first female Prime Minister, Winston Churchill was. Winston’s real name was Winifred, and she only pretended to be a man because at that time women were not allowed to smoke cigars.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 April, 2003, 05:38:46 pm
"The Simpsons 'Top Trumps' game scoring is way off and makes a mockery of all that makes Top Trumps a valuable source of protein."

And, in a travesty of everything Top Trumps should be about, they claim Homer Simpson works in Sector G7 of the Springfield Nuclear plant.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

IT'S 7G, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!! (dreams of happy childhood not playing Top Trumps according to the rules destroyed by flagrant negligence of researchers)

(comforting) FACT:  UK Prime Minister, Rt Hon Tony  Blair, surprised everyone at a recent press conference by declaring that his youngest son, Leo, was the Son of God and earlier that morning had left a revised version of the Book of Job smeared on the inside of his non-disposable nappy. This has been hushed up by the press because, to be honest, stranger things have happened at Downing Street press conferences.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 04 April, 2003, 06:09:17 pm
Fact
the only sushi chefs which hold a blow fish prepartion licence from Japan.
(the highly toxic if not cut correctly nip delicasey.)
.which are employed in the west IE the UK.
have in fact had their licenses revoked in their homeland due to unfortunate cases of
ahhhiieeee ugggh. or death by blow fish of at least two diners in the estblishment they formerly worked.

sashmi anyone?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 04 April, 2003, 07:30:48 pm
fact
sharks dont eat tuna fish.
as the tins are always difficult to digest.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 April, 2003, 08:01:18 pm
The Innit people of North London consider 'bling' and 'ice' to be useful aids to conception, accidental or otherwise
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 04 April, 2003, 08:34:20 pm
Some real facts learnt during my previous profession (not all necessarilly by experience, I hasten to add).

-Head & Shoulders is so strong, you can perm hair with it.

-Johnson's Baby Shampoo isn't any milder than normal shampoo, it just doesn't use salt as a thickening agent like others do (hence eye-stingage).

The 'blue rinse' that little old ladies have isn't meant to be used as a hair dye at all. It's a colour correction dye for removing yellow from blonde/grey/white hair. It's also not blue, but mauve.

Incontinent old ladies smell much worse after being under a hot hairdryer for 20 minutes.

Semen is apparently a wonderful moisturiser.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 April, 2003, 09:20:36 pm
A fact gleaned from my current profession:

"No comment" rarely means "no comment". It usually means "Hey, you've got me bang to rights but f*** off because I have to phone my lawyer!"

Also, according to this press release I have before me, England and Leeds defender, Danny Mills, has just bought a new Mercedes in Harrogate! (shock news - expensive car dealership sells over-priced motor vehicle to man with lots of money and little sense. I can see it on the front page already!)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 04 April, 2003, 11:12:31 pm
Having just looked at the Buffy Top Trumps, I can offer the fact that the scoring in there is suspect as well;

Buffy's mum MORE INTELLIGENT than Adam?

The Master WEAKER IN NIGHT COMBAT than Giles?

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 April, 2003, 11:14:38 pm
If you can't trust top trumps, who can you trust?

Me.

No, actually I'm a liar.

Or am I lying?

Yes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Malchidiel on 05 April, 2003, 03:34:31 am
"Semen is apparently a wonderful moisturiser."

It is indeed  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 05 April, 2003, 07:15:17 pm
Fondly remembered Blue Peter presenter John Noakes is famous for his catchphrase "Get down Shep", he recently revealed however, that he had stood in one of Shep’s turds that evening and actually said "God damn sh*t".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 05 April, 2003, 09:06:11 pm
'Semen is apparently a wonderful moisturiser."

It is indeed '



come again?

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 06 April, 2003, 06:49:09 pm
Not many people realise that the entire cast of hit TV show Friends are all brothers and sisters. When asked if this posed problems during the more "romantic" moments on the show David Schwimmer, real name Billy-Jim Joe-Bob replied, "Why no siree, we’re all originally from Texas".

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 06 April, 2003, 07:19:57 pm
FACT
john noakes is not the first BBC ex blue peter presenter to be asked to terminate his contract due to rumours of dubious sexual acts.

he actaully said GO DOWN SHEP.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 06 April, 2003, 08:57:30 pm
Ha, ha! Nice one DD. Mine was good, yours was better.



"You like dat don’t yah beatch!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 07 April, 2003, 02:45:01 pm
Scientist’s have devised a new strategy in their attempts to prevent The Leaning Tower of Pisa’s increasing tilt. They intend to have willpower-lacking TV layabout Rik Waller flown out to Italy where he will take up residence in the non-sloping side of the tower. If this proves successful, they plan to use the pity-seeking warbler again in an experiment to push the Earth off its axis for nothing more than a laugh.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 07 April, 2003, 04:40:59 pm
'Scientist?s have devised a new strategy in their attempts to prevent The Leaning Tower of Pisa?s increasing tilt. They intend to have willpower-lacking TV layabout Rik Waller flown out to Italy where he will take up residence in the non-sloping side of the tower. If this proves successful, they plan to use the pity-seeking warbler again in an experiment to push the Earth off its axis for nothing more than a laugh.'


I HOPE THEY GET THE CENTRE OF GRAVITY RIGHT, OR IT'S BYE BYE PISA.

Fact:  The leaning tower on Caerphilly Castle is the most leanest (i.e it leans over the most, not that it is the slimmest) tower in Europe.

WoD
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 07 April, 2003, 08:24:58 pm
Hours* or endless fun can be had trying to keep track of Logan's posts as he plays catch up becuase he's been away from the site for a month or so.


* well, minutes on a quiet lunch break
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 07 April, 2003, 08:28:09 pm
I'm hanging around to see if tiny devils come to drag him down to hell for breaking his Lent message board fast before Easter.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 07 April, 2003, 08:34:24 pm
The period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday isn't actually 40 days, because they didn't count the Sundays.

Does that mean I'm allowed to drink alcohol & eat chocolate on Sundays?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: W. R. Logan on 07 April, 2003, 09:04:47 pm
First full day off for weeks, and not due another till Comics 2003, so thought I'd better catch up.

La PLaca Rifa,
W. R. Logan.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 April, 2003, 01:08:40 pm
FACT
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.

The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 09 April, 2003, 02:10:34 am
Big Ben was built in 1858 on the insistence of Sir Benjamin Hall, whom it takes it’s name from, after he became fed up of lazy politicians missing Parliamentary meetings by pretending they did not know what the time was.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 April, 2003, 01:46:40 am
Bees are capable of atmospheric re-entry even though they do not posses heat shields.



"Houston, we havezzz a problem"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 April, 2003, 02:56:34 pm
Heroin addicts will not really spend any money you give them on "busfare" or "a cup of tea".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 10 April, 2003, 04:28:41 pm
This is partly because all heroin addicts carry bus-passes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 10 April, 2003, 04:39:32 pm
FACT: This is the 300th message on this thread.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 April, 2003, 05:44:25 am
The world’s most famous movie dog "Lassie" was in reality played by an antelope named Seymour, wearing a special suit. His owner, Mr Tom Neville of Wisconsin USA, says it was because "antelopes are far easier to train than dogs".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 April, 2003, 07:37:46 am
Much loved BBC TV sitcom "Only fools and Horses" was based on the life of Mother Theresa of Calcutta. However, a few changes had to be made to the script after the pilot episode failed to create a positive reaction from the test audience and the character of Mother Theresa eventually became the basis for Uncle Albert.



"During the war..."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 April, 2003, 07:44:42 am
"FACT: This is the 300th message on this thread."

Looks like I owe you a prize Odders. Are there any (reasonably priced) graphic novels you're after?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 April, 2003, 08:57:26 pm
Worms are unfortunately allergic to soil.



"Aiiieeeee"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 13 April, 2003, 09:00:43 pm
FACT: If I was to have access to this kind of nonsense at work, I would never get my comicx drawn! (I mean my work done)

Rotts
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: judgejampot on 14 April, 2003, 12:55:20 am
True: Some of the crowd in the final scene of Star Wars IV: A New Hope were actually cardboard figures, to give the illusion of the crowd being more numerous than it was. And that's a FACT! ^_^
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 14 April, 2003, 07:26:07 am
The humble dictionary derives its name from the three people who originally compiled it: Dick Trotter, Shaun Belfry and Harry Baxter.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 14 April, 2003, 11:29:27 am
Fact,
saimese fighting fish
they do not really fight to the death at all.

the two featured in the movie Dr no.where actaully trained stunt fish.they now live in florida and offer there services for bond conventions.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 14 April, 2003, 11:33:03 am
FACT
the grand canyon.
is not a natural wonder of the world as the yanks like to tell all the tourists.
it was created by irish navvies when they first went to the US ofA
for something to do whilst they waited for their green cards to be approved.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 April, 2003, 03:10:33 am
The Civil War was so called because both sides would politely ask for the others permission before shooting them in the guts.



“After you old chap.”   “No, I insist after you.”
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 16 April, 2003, 05:49:37 pm
FACT
2000ad in the early days was printed on low quality paper so that it would be easily damaged. this was so in the years to come THARG would be able to sell his perfect copies for huge sums on the internet.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 17 April, 2003, 01:03:44 am
There are some parts of England where it is still illegal to murder someone.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 17 April, 2003, 08:40:40 am
Doctors are responsible for more cases of assault on kangaroos than any other professional bodies.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 17 April, 2003, 04:02:11 pm
FACT
male chimpanzees are the only other animal on earth other then man too indulge in DIY for improvemnts to their dwellings.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 17 April, 2003, 04:16:40 pm
Fact
liver, kidney heart and lungs edible animal meats are called offal it does not mean as many thought off falls as the meat was hung. the word it is derived from is actaully
AWFUL.
hence why we sold so much to the french.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 17 April, 2003, 04:18:51 pm
Fact
 the World Health Organization
has posted a warning to all young couples in europe to only have two children.
statics have shown every every 3rd child born in the world is chinese.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 17 April, 2003, 06:13:12 pm
DD - Very funny post.

FACT - Although DD's post was inherently funny, due to a genetic defect, I managed to kill all humour in the poor thing while telling a friend about it.

DOUBLE FACT - I am the perfect candidate for 'Faking it' should they ever want some one to try their hand as a Stand-up comedian.

TREBLE FACT - God, would that be painful to watch.

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 April, 2003, 11:56:48 pm
Mars is referred to as the "Red" planet because it is a constant source of embarrassment.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 19 April, 2003, 01:55:30 pm
FACT
stainless steel wool was patented as a wearable fabric.
this was rejected as due to influence by the washing powder companies as they knew it would be the end of their soup sud empires.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 April, 2003, 07:54:56 pm
Salmon swim upstream to spawn purely so that when their children hatch out they can have a fun slide getting to the sea.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 April, 2003, 07:42:12 pm
To celebrate Easter Day, here is an amazing Easter fact...

The tradition of giving eggs at Easter stems back to the days of Our Lord the baby Jesus, who upon rising from the dead many years ago to this date had a sudden attack of the munchies and craved some chocolate. With there being none at hand he performed a miracle similar to that of changing water into wine, by changing a common hens egg into a Dairy Milk one filled with Cadburys Buttons. The tradition has been kept alive by his followers to the present day.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 April, 2003, 07:57:52 pm
Because my last post was fact 321, I’ve decided to give you an extra fact of the day involving 3, 2, 1. Here you go...

Ted Rogers devised "3, 2, 1" as a means of training M.I.5 agents in misinformation and espionage. However, the format proved far to difficult and cryptic for them and it was eventually made into an unfathomable TV game show instead.  



Dusty "Bin Laden" goes undercover for M.I.5
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 April, 2003, 03:25:45 pm
In 1926 John Logie Baird patented his miraculous new invention, the television, as "The Electronic Baby-sitter".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 21 April, 2003, 04:05:58 pm
Fact
i intend to sell this thread to a local manufacture of christmas crackers.
so when next december 25th you pull said item.you never know you may well recognize the little ditty inside.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 April, 2003, 12:22:00 pm
FACT,
Golf is easy.


Once a player has mastered the grip
and stance, all he has to
bear in mind, in the brief two-second interval it takes to swing,
is to keep his left elbow pointed in toward the left hip and his
right arm loose and closer to the body than the left and take the
club head past his right knee and then break the wrists at just
the right instant while the left arm is still traveling straight
back from the ball and the right arm stays glued to the body and
the hips come around in a perfect circle and meanwhile everything
is mucked up unless the weight is 60 percent on the left foot and
40 percent on the right not an ounce more or less and at just the
right point in the turn the left knee bends in toward the right
in a dragging motion until the left heel comes off the ground but
not too far and be sure the hands are over the right foot but not
on the toe more than the heel except that the left side of the
right foot is tilted off the ground but not too far and be sure
the hands at the top of the swing are high and the shaft points
along a line parallel with the ground and if its a downhill lie
The shaft is supposed to be pointed downhill too and pause at the
top of the swing and count one, jerk the left arm straight down
like a bell ringer yanking a belfry rope and don't uncock the
wrists too soon and pull the left hip around in a circle but
don't let the shoulders turn with the hips, they have to befacing the hole and now transfer the weight 60 percent to the
left foot and 40 percent to the right not an ounce more or less
and tilt the left foot now so the right side of it is straight
that's the one you hit against watch out for the left hand, it's
supposed to be extended but not too stiff or the shot won't go
anywhere and don't let it get loose or you will hook and let the
wrists uncock but don't force them or you'll smother the shot and
don't break too soon but keep your head down then hit the ball!

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!!


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 22 April, 2003, 04:03:47 pm

"FACT: This is the 300th message on this thread."

Looks like I owe you a prize Odders. Are there any (reasonably priced) graphic novels you're after?


Wow! I'm away for a week & I start winning prizes? Aught to have time off more often!

If you're serious (& I realise that of course you are, as this is the FACT thread, after all!) I've rather had my eye on Top Ten (Book I) by old Mr. Moore.

Ta muchly!

Oddboy.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 April, 2003, 11:18:41 pm
Right you are then Odders I'll see what I can do. If I can't find a copy of that is there anything else you'd like?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 April, 2003, 11:24:08 pm
Oh, and on the subject of prizes, you'll need to stop being so enigmatic if you'd like your prize Dr X. If you can e-mail me your address, or C/O address if you wish to remain enigmatic, then I can get it sent off to you. Cheers.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 22 April, 2003, 11:37:06 pm
Tom Strong Book II? (But I don't think that's in paperback yet, still hardback)
Or Promethea (sp?) book I.

I've just decided to go on a ABC Alan Moore GN obsession, so any of those as tpb's (bar League Volume I & Tom Strong Book I 'cause I've got those)would be great.

And here's a fact:
Someone left the lid of my marker pen while I was off last week, and now it's all dried up.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 April, 2003, 11:50:25 pm
No problem then Odders. I'll get that sorted (hopefully) over the weekend. Thanks for participating. Now wasn't there something else I had to do on this thread...?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 April, 2003, 11:52:43 pm
Oh, yes it's fact of the day time again, or perhaps that should be evening.

Carrots posses the ability to foretell the future, but scientists have, to this day, been unable to prove it.




And the lottery numbers for Saturday are...UrK!

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 23 April, 2003, 01:14:17 am
Golf?  I thought you just had to hit the little balls into the holes...

FACT:  No-one's got a clue what spoat/giders are, or whether they're real or not.  Looks like I'm going to have to buy Margaret Atwood's book after all.

Link: Margaret, you're one weird cookie

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 23 April, 2003, 03:56:17 pm
It's a mis-print: it should have been "Goat-Spiders" - a new & deadly hybrid species, effectively a poisonous many eye'd, many leg'd demonic goat.

Scientists deny its existance.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 April, 2003, 11:22:47 pm
The Hermit crab is well known for its habit of finding discarded old sea shells and making a home out of them, but very little is known about the behaviour of it’s arch-enemy the Bailiff crab.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 24 April, 2003, 01:33:23 am
Odders you're pretty close!  (see thread 4762 down the bottom of the board somewhere).

And you're dead right about scientists denying its existence...

I'm probably going to shut up about spoat/giders quite soon...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 24 April, 2003, 02:51:55 am
FACT: I had a day off work and went shopping, I spent too much on things I did not need and my feet ate sore.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 24 April, 2003, 03:40:30 am
Just attended the funeral of the first soldier killed during combat in the Gulf. They had a ten-gun salute and a piper. Very moving.

I suppose it's a fact, just wanted to say.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 April, 2003, 03:44:09 pm
Unfortunately death is a very sad fact of life.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 April, 2003, 03:47:20 pm
Ah well, the show must go on...

One of the most bizarre aspects of the Hermit crabs lifestyle is its relationship with the Landlord crab.

Once a week as regular as clockwork the Landlord crab will turn up outside the Hermit crabs shell and expect some form of tribute.

If none is provided, the Landlord crab will forcibly eject the Hermit crab from its shell before moving another crab in.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 24 April, 2003, 05:08:30 pm
Not to forget that other scourge of the Hermit crab life, the squatter crab.
Or have you done that one already?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 24 April, 2003, 05:09:39 pm
And there is, of course, the Cowboy Builder crab...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 24 April, 2003, 05:19:36 pm
In the 80s Copper Crabs were often found breaking up Shell-Music raves.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 April, 2003, 02:14:22 am
Further research on the Hermit crab has revealed that it didn't always show such reclusive traits. The seabed used to be covered in thriving communities or 'estates' of what we know today as Hermit crabs.

Some scientists believe that the breakdown in the crab's society was the result of the 'Unruly Joy-riding Child Crab', and the 'My Kids Can Do What They Like Crab'.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 26 April, 2003, 04:19:16 pm
Fact
SPARE RIBS
are in fact not actaully spare at all.they are just not used very often.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 April, 2003, 11:14:18 pm
Russian cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin had no idea he was to become the first man in space. He had applied to an advert for a tea boy and went to the wrong building for his interview.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 April, 2003, 08:12:13 pm
W.R. Logan has recently declared any further "Greatest Cover Ever" threads to be a complete waste of time after seeing the cover to prog 473.



FACT!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 April, 2003, 11:45:40 pm
Eminem is famous for his uncompromising bad boy image, but off-camera he likes nothing better than to put on his pyjamas and snuggle up to his Mom with a nice warm glass of milk.



Will you read me a bedtime story beatch?

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 April, 2003, 02:45:56 pm
There is a type of tree in Asia that sprouts Wellingtons.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 April, 2003, 02:58:34 pm
Cow's milk has remarkable healing properties. A single pint can cause tissue, bones and organs to regenerate, whereas ten pints can cause missing or severed limbs to completely re-grow themselves.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 30 April, 2003, 03:42:06 pm
FACT
the SARS virusus causes your tempature to raise to 38-39 degrees,you should take your temp twice daily to monitor this.
if your thermometer should register 45 degrees or greater it is either faulty or you are dead.
should this happen ask a friend to check.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 01 May, 2003, 07:38:14 am
After George Stevenson invented the Rocket, his arch rivals Braithwaite and Ericsson invented a special kind of leaf that would stick to the tracks and prevent it from running on time.



"GREAT STEAMING ARSE'S!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 01 May, 2003, 07:20:01 pm
MAGNIFICENT FACT: Courtesy of this morning's METRO letters page

The first S in the acronym for SARS (SEVERE ACUTE RESPIRATORY SYNDROME) was only added after the World Health Organisation figured out they'd never get anybody to worry about an outbreak of ARS.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 May, 2003, 08:53:15 pm
It's May - here's the Chef's Tip from the company calendar:

Spring vegetables deserve gentle handling.  Cut into small pieces and quickly steam to preserve all the natural flavours.  Alternatively cook a little longer by slowly stir-frying over a medium heatm with a little sesame oil.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 01 May, 2003, 09:16:50 pm
Pub landladies are the only people outside of showbusiness to wear gold shoes on a regular basis.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 May, 2003, 02:52:08 pm
George Lucas blames his computers spellchecker for the script of "The Phantom Menace". Apparently it doesn’t understand irony.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 02 May, 2003, 07:17:43 pm
FACT: There are 56 "facts" between posting a hundreth fact & receiving the prise for doing so.

HOORAY FOR KARNE & ALL HIS PRISES, for they are Mighty indeed.

FACT: While Royal Mail coped with the "DO NOT BEND" message printed on the prise-winning recorded-delivery envelope, they did however rip the envelope wide open & then put it in a plastic baggie with an "OUR SINCERE APOLOGIES" note attached.

FACT: They addressed the aforementioned apology to "Dear Customer", dispite the fact that they knew very well what my name is (it being written on the envelope after all).

FACT: Obviously the unscrupulous member of the post office who committed this random act of stationery-abuse didn't consider Alan Moore's Top Ten Book I worth stealing.



Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 03 May, 2003, 04:43:27 am
FACT: Top ten bok oneIS worth stealing. Mrs Rotts got me a copy for xmas '01. Got Tom Strong 1 for Xmas '02.

What will I get this year? A funtin' divorce would be nice

The bad man
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 03 May, 2003, 09:35:18 pm
Fact: sometimes I dont know when to shut up and stop making an arse (sorry kids) of myself.

The board is no place to visit in the middle of a 'heated discussion' with your spouse.

rotts
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 03 May, 2003, 10:42:32 pm
Actually Rotts, I think the board is the PERFECT place to visit in the middle of a 'heated discussion' with your spouse.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 May, 2003, 01:02:23 am
A recent report conducted on behalf of solicitors in this country has revealed that the number one cause of divorce in England is: Not wanting to be with the person you married for varying reasons.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 May, 2003, 11:40:13 pm
Caterpillars do not, as previously thought, metamorphose into butterflies.

What actually happens is that butterflies lay their eggs in caterpillars, which then hatch and eat them while they are in their chrysalises (which are in reality nothing more complex than a form of sleeping bag).

When the butterfly has finished chomping on the caterpillar, it emerges from the chrysalis giving the impression it has transformed itself from a lowly grub.



"YUM!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 05 May, 2003, 02:38:28 pm
Bad tempered fact: Just been out to check and none of my bladdy sunflowers have germinated.

I'm off to the garden centre to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Want to guess what I'm all out of ?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 05 May, 2003, 07:32:45 pm
"Want to guess what I'm all out of ?"

Fags?  Patience?  Sunflower seeds?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 05 May, 2003, 07:49:23 pm
Maybe rabbits or slugs are nibbling your seeds off just as they germinate.

Consider getting these guys to stand guard:

"Oy you!  Leave Dounreay's seedlings alone"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 05 May, 2003, 08:45:01 pm
Tiny Aussie popstrel Kylie Minogue is fiercely jealous of any attention her younger sister Dannii gets and often punches her and spits in her hair when no one is looking.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 06 May, 2003, 12:35:03 am
That's as good a reason for this as any


http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:gyuAwc20bIsC:www.topvirtual.yucom.be/kylie%2520102.jpg>

Look at the arse on that
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 06 May, 2003, 02:32:54 am
Green fingered fact: 2nd Battalion Sunflower Seeds are now prepped for insertion. We're going in!



Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 06 May, 2003, 09:22:55 am
FACT
kangaroos have evolved pouches so that as true ozzys they are able to carry large amounts of fosters beer cans .whilst leaving both hands free.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 06 May, 2003, 09:09:48 pm
Fact: I just about added a fact about Kyle that would have had me drummed out the regiment. Pass the port

Major Huff
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 06 May, 2003, 11:36:13 pm
I'd add a fact to Kylie anyday.

F'narr F'narr

So, what was it?
You can whisper it...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 07 May, 2003, 12:53:18 am
To celebrate the union of two of our boarders, here's a special "firey" fact of the day...


Petrol makes an ideal substitute for water when fire fighting*



*The facts on this thread are provided by fully qualified experts. Please do not attempt to try out any of the information contained within them without the supervision of an adult.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 07 May, 2003, 01:02:51 am
well many gereral household products can make a firefighting substitute for water, it all depends on your pyrolactic materials, the fuel to oxygen mix & yur flash points. Water is generally the cheapest & mostly readily available option however.

did you know halon extinguishers which are now banned for use in motor sports due to greenhouse gasses. are not banned on ships & are by far the best way of putting an engine fire out. whereas the current extinguishers we are required to fit in the rally cars are less effective than pi**ing on the fire.  Guess i'll be wearing the proban vest then.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 07 May, 2003, 03:03:44 pm
Okay, now I have an image in my head of a row of firemen 'hosing' out a fire...

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 May, 2003, 01:56:56 am
Monopoly money is classed as legal tender in Taiwan.

(There's another interesting fact somewhere else on this board ;))
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 08 May, 2003, 03:41:33 pm
Not sure if this has been posted already;

FACT 1: Pigeons are so inherently greedy, that given a large enough supply of food, they will actually eat until they explode.

FACT 2: Baby pigeons need less food to achieve this, that is why you don't see many of them about.

WoD
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 08 May, 2003, 05:09:04 pm
I also heard that pigeons explode if you feed them asperin, although as I've never seen any either eat asperin or explode I better not end the sentence with FACT.

Oops.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 May, 2003, 06:56:34 pm
FACT
chickens are actaully very brave.they just pretend not to be.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 May, 2003, 11:36:42 pm
One of the best ways to avoid temporary partial loss of sight and blinding headaches is to "NOT" stare at a UV light when exposing a silk screen.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 09 May, 2003, 12:28:51 am
'One of the best ways to avoid temporary partial loss of sight and blinding headaches is to "NOT" stare at a UV light when exposing a silk screen.'


And how would you know..?


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 09 May, 2003, 12:48:10 am
"And how would you know..?"

He! I'll bet you can't guess what I did today. Obviously I won't be betting much ;)

Now excuse me while I read up on Health & Safety in the workplace.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 09 May, 2003, 01:17:02 am
For gods sake, be careful!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 May, 2003, 06:45:26 am
FACT
all americans who claim to have been abducted by aliens.always get a souvenior for there help from their hosts.
but the american goverment confiscates these mugs,ash trays and postcards which feature the words i have been to alpha centori or such phrases and place them in a storage unit in the nevada dessert.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 09 May, 2003, 03:07:38 pm
In an attempt to get around this government conspiricy, the aliens started producing "My sister* went to Alpha Centuri & all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirts that abductee's can pass on to relatives.


[* or brother, mother, dad, girlfriend etc]
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 May, 2003, 02:27:45 am
Unknown to all but a select few (me being one), a single race of aliens is responsible for abducting and analy probing unwary humans. Their purpose in doing so is far more sinister than a mere bottom fetish.

During Nixon's Presidency, an ultra-high powered telescope aimed at Uranus revealed that these aliens depend upon faeces to power not only their cities, but also their weapons of mass destruction. Once they have enough crap they intend to use gas like eruptions across the planet to signal an all out attack to destroy the Earth.

A little research into the history of alien abductions should allow the more astute among you to work out how near they are to completing their goal so I'll leave you with a final warning: keep checking Uranus for gassy emissions and enjoy the rest of your life...before the sh*t hits the fan.

Lights up!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 11 May, 2003, 02:33:02 am
One of Scotland's most famous tourist attractions the Loch Ness monster is thought to be throwback to prehistoric times. This seems unlikely though, as Volkswagen Beetles are not indigenous to that era.



A suspected fake photo of "Nessie" yesterday.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 11 May, 2003, 01:11:47 pm
Fact
sir stamford raffles was the first englishman to visit and stay in singapore.as an employee of the east indai company.
history books are full of things about its wonderful location. deep water ports etc.
they fail to mention the golf courses,cheap beer.condos with swimming pools and sexy local girls.or the large amount of money his company paid him to PUT UP with all this.
thats the real reason old raffles stayed.dont listen to your history teacher.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 11 May, 2003, 06:01:30 pm
Early cures for the bubonic plague included bathing in rats.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 11 May, 2003, 10:08:58 pm
Recent breakthroughs in micro-millinery have led to the creation of nano-fezzes for sea monkeys.  FACT
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 12 May, 2003, 09:24:50 pm
FACT: Top Ten is a great comic book; I finished reading it this weekend, and HOORAY for Alan Moore, (if only the ol' bugger'ld come back home to 2000AD & Halo Jones).

In fact, I enjoyed it so much I've already rushed out & got Top Ten book 2.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 May, 2003, 10:29:33 pm
You can save yourself unnecessary expenditure if planning to buy the new single by Coldplay simply by tuning to Radio 1 and listening to it as often as you wish.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 13 May, 2003, 04:14:17 pm
FACT.
the word scone is prounced incorrectly by almost half the population of the UK. the correct way to prounce the word is.
scone
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 13 May, 2003, 04:26:36 pm
sand those that pronounce it wrong are in fact big sassenach jessies, everyone knows its SCONE ! not scone... i ask you.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 May, 2003, 10:45:05 pm
The Statue of Liberty was originally built to promote Lyons Maid ice cream hence the huge cornet in her left hand.



"Stop me and buy one!"

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 13 May, 2003, 10:50:13 pm
RIGHT hand, don't you mean?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 May, 2003, 11:30:37 pm
I was looking at her in a mirror so I didn't get turned to stone, but then that's a fact for another day...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 15 May, 2003, 12:47:45 am
Many of you may be familiar with tales of mass hallucination and group hysteria in which people can convince themselves that imaginary events have taken place, but how many of you are aware of a similar condition which prevents people from accepting the truth, preferring instead to invent a scenario that they feel more comfortable with?

One such instance is the now forgotten "Beldoe’s (or as it is referred to these days "Liberty")  Island Incident".

In 1884 the Japanese finally made a breakthrough in their development of the atomic bomb or "Mr Big-Boomie Bomb" as they referred to it. Initial tests were carried out just off the coast of America for reasons of safety, but no one could have foreseen that the radiation would reactivate a slumbering 152-foot tall Gorgon intent on destroying New York.

The Gorgon rampaged across NY for the better part of two years before finally catching a glimpse of itself reflected in the Chrysler building whereupon it instantly turned to stone. Once incapacitated the Gorgon was moved to Beldoe’s Island where the whole incident was covered up as an ice-cream promotion.

The Japanese banned all further research on the Mr Big-Boomie Bomb after this incident, but this failed to prevent America from getting it's own back in 1945. These days the Gorgon is believed to be of no threat to people, however, there are still some of us who would rather not take any risks.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 15 May, 2003, 10:48:41 am
Fact,
when advertising agencies create watch pictures for glossy magazines, they are only able to have the sesson twice daily. 9.50 am and 9.50 pm.
you will note this is true by looking at any advert for expensive watches.this is why such brands as tag heur, rolex,omega cost so much money to buy. its the incurred photographer costs that send the prices up.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 15 May, 2003, 10:52:10 am
FACT
if you are shark feeding off the carribean or south africa it is a scientific fact that if you grab a shark by its dorsil fin. and turn it upside down it will be go into a coma, this will allow you to swim away quickly.

so next time you see a great white baring down on you.dont panic. stay calm and grab its dorsil fin and quickly invert the animal. you will then have the pleasure of being the hero of the dive party.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 15 May, 2003, 10:56:22 am
FACT
the specail taste of stilton and other blue cheeses is gained from the fermentation process.

it is a little know trade secret that the cheese makers place there old socks in the mixture to give it that specail flavour. this is why french blue cheeses are the greatest in strengh in their essense.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 15 May, 2003, 11:08:41 am
FACT
the first recorded heart attack in history was assgined to a mummified male recently discovered in the middle east.
he was diagonzed by the following facts.
his heart showed enlargement caused by acess blood flow and in his lleft hand
was a marker with the words
1000 shackles on goliath.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 15 May, 2003, 02:42:15 pm
FACT: Devon's Daddy just posted 4 facts in a row in order to claim the highly sortafter Post #400.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 15 May, 2003, 07:29:39 pm
FACT: Karne's story about the statue of Liberty is in fact better than 4 out of the 6 Past Imperfect stories published so far.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 15 May, 2003, 09:26:07 pm
Fact: It takes about two hours to get this thread on screen.

Fact: the song Suger town by Nancy Sinatra is infact about Bourville and not a drugs reference.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 May, 2003, 12:39:52 am
Congratulations DD!

You have indeed won the prize for the 400th post. Just sling me an e-mail with your choice of prize, be it graphic novel, video/DVD or perhaps something else you are having difficulty acquiring in Hondo-City and let me do the rest.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 May, 2003, 12:42:08 am
"Fact: It takes about two hours to get this thread on screen."

Are you opening up the whole thread each time, or just individual pages? If it's the former, try the latter :)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 May, 2003, 12:44:36 am
He! Thanks Mr Tips and at least mine was based on facts as well eh ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 May, 2003, 12:50:34 am
TV's much loved comedy pervert Benny Hill was well known for his on screen chases, but what isn’t so well known is the fact that he got the idea from pursuing victims who had managed to escape from his gimp cellar.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 May, 2003, 01:15:55 am
FACT: As, I suspect Karne well knows, you cannot libel the dead.

That Queen mum was a twat, wasn't she?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 May, 2003, 01:33:13 am
Yeah, and what was the deal with her filthy teeth? She was fooking loaded yet she didn't have a toothbrush.



"FLOWERS!? WHAT USE ARE F*CKING FLOWERS TO ME?
BIN THEM AND GET ME A CRATE OF SWEETS SHARPISH!"

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 May, 2003, 01:48:17 am
Right on brother!!
Smash the state!

In her defence, the teeth were not so much dirty as a sickly green grey colour, brought on by years of heavy absinthe drinking and copious cocaine use.
I heard she had a third nipple, too.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 16 May, 2003, 05:35:40 pm
An oldie  but a goodie, not like Bill Oddie  who is a oddie and a Goodie, but he doesn't smell of pish....

FACT:Real excerpts from the Queen Mum's Book of Remembrance:

     "I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".
     L.Ward, Mansfield.
     --------------------------------------------
     "When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
     A.Christie,Hendon.
     --------------------------------------------
     "She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"
     J.Clement. Grantham.
     --------------------------------------------
     "I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
     D.Holmes, Somerset.
     --------------------------------------------
     "She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was sickening".
     B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
     --------------------------------------------
     "She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover".
     L. J.Worthington, Penrith.
     --------------------------------------------
     "I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".
     S.Wilson, Bristol.
     --------------------------------------------
     "How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".
     J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
     --------------------------------------------
     "Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to experiment with drugs".
     E. Franks, Cheshire.
     --------------------------------------------
     "On behalf of all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".
     T.Watson, Ilford.
     --------------------------------------------
     "Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
     Y. Howell, Slough.
     --------------------------------------------
     "Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman should have a bit more compassion. How would she feel if it was her     mother?"
     W.Waugh, Richmond.
     --------------------------------------------
     "It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
     K. O'Neil, Inverness. ( Could this be oor Kevin?)
     --------------------------------------------
     "I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this small setback put an end to her public duties".
     N. Wallace, Swansea.
     --------------------------------------------
     "I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible event"
     E. Thompson, West Lothian.
     --------------------------------------------
     "Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"
     P.McGregor, Southampton.
     --------------------------------------------
     "We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers,anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin".
     R. Thompson, Bath.
------------------------------------------
     "I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again until Her Majesty is buried"
     E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
     --------------------------------------------
     "Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
     R. Combes, Romford.
     --------------------------------------------
     "No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile. Just like a retard"
     G. Hollins, East Sussex.
     --------------------------------------------
     "I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'You know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous person".
     E.Collier, London.
     --------------------------------------------
     "Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
     G.Williams, West Midlands.
     --------------------------------------------
     "She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a
good way. God bless you ma'am".
     L. Weller, Harlow.
     --------------------------------------------
     "If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless bastard!"
     J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
     --------------------------------------------
     "She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is   given a life of privilege and comfort"
     T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
     --------------------------------------------
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 16 May, 2003, 06:23:01 pm
FACT: Though he doesn't normally like Cut and Pasted jokes or "FW:FW:FW:FW:FW THOUGHT THIS MIGHT MAKE YOU LAUGH", Mister Tips laoughed long and hard at some of those Queen Mum quotes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 17 May, 2003, 03:11:30 am
"Real excerpts from the Queen Mum's Book of Remembrance"

I made the mistake of reading these on my dinner break and spent the rest of the day having frequent outbursts of loud, insane laughter with tears of mirth clearly visible in my eyes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 17 May, 2003, 03:18:37 am
Winnie the Pooh was not originally conceived to be a bear, but fell foul of the censorship laws of the time and managed only to retain his name. His true origins become apparent when you realise he was a precursor to South Park’s "Mr Hanky".



Hey Piglet! Come over here and smell my paw!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 17 May, 2003, 08:18:40 pm
Proudhuff, this is the best thing I have read in a long time. Great fun, thankyou!!

That Diana was a bit of a slapper, though.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 17 May, 2003, 09:06:43 pm
William Tell shot an arrow at his son's head to punish him after he caught him stealing apples from his neighbour's tree.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 May, 2003, 04:52:36 pm
As it's Sunday today, here is a special religious fact for you all...

Legendary R & B icon and sex-machine James Brown is also well known for his duties as a Minister in the church of the New, New Super Heavy Funk, but what isn't so well known is that fact that he also stood in for David Soul's Godparent when he failed to turn up for his christening. This event led to him being known to this day as the "Godfather of Soul".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 19 May, 2003, 04:18:17 am
God father of soul

Christ almighty, That was bad!

I liked it, but it was bad.

rotts

FACT: I have sent the wife to the pub with her fit mate to get time to visit you lot tonight!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 19 May, 2003, 04:28:59 am
FACT: your wife finding out that you called her mate 'fit', will induce a spell of 'headaches' with outbreaks of narking.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 19 May, 2003, 04:31:21 am
'FACT: I have sent the wife to the pub with her fit mate to get time to visit you lot tonight!'


Now, I don't know about everybody else, but I've got a question...
It's about this 'fit mate' and 'the wife'... are you angling for something there..?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 19 May, 2003, 04:33:30 am
Dear queen Bou:

I've been a frequent visitor to that weather region and am develping a thick skin now.

I know what you mean though, but she isn't a squaxx, and resists all attempts at conversion.

Mind you, she liked Hugh Jackman in X2. S'pose that is the FACT for this post!

Rotts, middle Englandcestershire.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Pat on 19 May, 2003, 11:30:47 am
?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 19 May, 2003, 11:35:26 am
FACT
the best way to stop milk going sour is too leave it in the cow until you need it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 May, 2003, 10:40:04 pm
Einstein's theory that energy equals mass times the speed of light squared, or E=MC2 is absolute nonsense but some people pretend they understand it in case they get called stupid.



"What, don't you get it? Are you a thickie or something?" RRRRRASPPPP!!!



Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 20 May, 2003, 02:40:54 am
Airdale terriers' coarse and wiry fur make them ideal slow-burning garden torches for barbeques and outdoor parties. As well as lighting the garden and keeping away midges, they can be easily transported to where they're needed with the addition of castors to each paw.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 20 May, 2003, 03:05:16 pm
Hope you're not mocking Oddgirl's Uncle Albert there Karne.

FACT: Yes, Oddgirl is related to Einstein - which is doubly weird for me, as it means that any offspring I have will also be related to Einstein.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 20 May, 2003, 06:54:15 pm
Recently you might have noticed that the message board's header is slightly out of synch with the body of the Message Index page...
The reason (as far as I can tell) is because of the size of this thread.
Each time a new page is added - the thread title increases:-

Get Fact! (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18)

Perhaps if Mr Wake could change the codes to put some spaces after the commas then the page would fit all nicely again.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 20 May, 2003, 07:43:09 pm
i am not related to einstien or any body clever, which is probably why i can't spell. My ancestors were a bunch of turnip eating hicks... however they did all hail from the area where the original & legendary Queen Boudicca kicked ass.. which is why i figure she was me great great great etc....auntie.

i do have witches in the family tree tho.. but the earl of Rutland killed them he did. but too late for the gene was already passed on....
whaaaaaa haaaaaa haa haa
heh heh heh cackle etc.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 20 May, 2003, 07:47:51 pm
FACT: popping on to this board at lunch time makes me unfeasably late back to work. heh heh heh.
the statistical likely hood that i have missed any sales, hence earning any income, during this late period, based on extropolated sales figures from the rest of the week.. = ?0.0000001p or less. however based on the famous 'sods law' of retail, the likely hood that i have...and am right now..missing the sale of a lifetime of all my stock at double the price is 120% likelyhood.
we can be assured that should i rush back to the shop right now... i will witness only tumble weed.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 20 May, 2003, 09:25:21 pm
FACT: Living a healthy lifestyle & eating a balanced diet is a waste of time. The same effect can be acheived by acting like a slob and living on pies & beer.

The secret is to eat something healthy (example:a banana, a carrot) after anything unhealthy (pizza, curry).

The "good calories" contained within the carrot will counteract the "bad calories" in the pizza, keeping your waistline trim and your arteries flexible.

Good eh?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 May, 2003, 11:13:46 pm
"Oddgirl is related to Einstein"

Away with you Odders, nonsense like that has no place on a thread of this merit. Don't show your icon around here again until you have some proper facts to report you time-wasting miscreant.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 20 May, 2003, 11:16:27 pm
Well-loved and much forgotten actor Christopher Timothy has a morbid phobia of sleeves and becomes physically distraught whenever he has to put on a shirt or jumper. He attributes this to his many years playing a vet on BBC TV's "All Creatures Great and Small".  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 21 May, 2003, 12:32:25 am
Judge Millar gets eaten by zombies in Judgement Day part 8.


But Oddgirl's still related to Einstein, twice infact, what with Old Albert marrying his own cousin...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 May, 2003, 12:42:48 am
"Oddgirl's related to Einstein, twice infact, what with Old Albert marrying his own cousin"

So is that what his theory of relativity is all about Odders?  Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk.



"Go and stand in the corner karne, you big doofus!"

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 21 May, 2003, 03:45:18 am
the actor Christopher Timothy is best forgotten in fact, a once creepy bloke with arm up cows ass, is now a very old CREEPY bloke with own head up....
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Something Fishy on 21 May, 2003, 04:09:14 am
Fact: the first steam engine was invented my a Cornishman Richard Trevithick.

It caught fire on it's maiden voyage when Trevithick and crew had stopped off for a quick jar and left it parked outside.

Thus ended Trevithicks chance of a public profile for his achievement.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Something Fishy on 21 May, 2003, 04:13:02 am
Fact:

I am descended from an Irish grandad who travelled away every summer and slept in the shed when he was at home.

and you thought old Einstein was famous.  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 21 May, 2003, 04:45:36 am
FACT: There are some things you should never see your childhood hero doing.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 21 May, 2003, 03:45:07 pm
FACT
the major in the whole milionaire scandal thing.has now came to an agreement with the producers of the show,upon his death they have offered to pay for the funeral service,and be allowed to record the service for screening at prime time with all advertising revenue going to them.
though there is a clause which states.
he will have to wrapped in a white cloth as there is to be no COFFIN.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 21 May, 2003, 10:20:24 pm
During the early stages of chess, before horseys were invented, they used to use pieces which resembled a fish. They were called 'eels' and they moved in wavy lines.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 May, 2003, 01:59:06 am
Hello out there, are you receiving me Devons Daddy?

You are still owed a prize for posting the 400th post matey. E-mail me with what you'd like, be it graphic novel, book, CD, DVD, video etc (within reason of course) and a selection of alternatives in case I can't get hold of it. Oh and an address you'd like it sent to would be handy.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 May, 2003, 02:06:25 am
Adam and Eve have long believed to have been expelled from the Garden of Eden for eating apples from the tree of knowledge.

However, it has recently been discovered that it wasn't actually the act of eating them that annoyed God, just the fact that they left the cores littered around the garden afterwards.



"Go on, get out of it you scutty gits!
And while you're at it put some clothes on!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 May, 2003, 11:37:14 am
FACT
i have sent an Email to Karne. hopefully he will have recieved it by now.let me know if this fact is incorrect.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 May, 2003, 11:41:32 am
FACT.

baby milk powder was developed for a subsitute for the mothers milk of the cow to calf.
sadly all attempts to educate the cows failed. hence it was rebranded and relaunched for working mums.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 May, 2003, 11:43:13 am
FACT

the corned beef tin packing was developed by the band aid company.to increase sales of its finger plasters.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 May, 2003, 11:47:38 am
FACT
BEER contains female hormones.
clinical tests have proven
if a man drinks ten or more glasses of beer. he will find his ability to park the car severly impaired.he will talk nonsense,and should another male member of his group leave to go the tiollette he will also wish to go.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 May, 2003, 01:14:37 am
FACT:

DD's E-mail was hand delivered to me by my postie this very morning. I've bubble-wrapped an E-mail in reply and sent it off this evening.

It should be sent to my address instead of his by tomorrow morning.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 May, 2003, 01:18:09 am
Coconuts derive their name from the fact that they were originally introduced into England by clowns.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 23 May, 2003, 02:21:16 am
After reading the previous fact out loud, I was informed by my daughter that coconuts aren't really seeds of the palm tree but the dismembered testicles of genetically engineered giants clowns.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 23 May, 2003, 03:03:43 am
You should pay more attention to that daughter of yours Wils, she obviously knows a thing or two.

How about getting her to post some facts on this thread?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 23 May, 2003, 03:24:17 am
Only one of the following facts is true, believe it or not.

1. At a massive 1.5kg and measuring 12"x9"x1", the book "You Are Being Lied To" is the biggest paperback I own.

2. Curry was invented when Indian cafe owner S.R. Makrahanish misheard someone saying "The chicken - and hurry it up". Unable to face the shame of admitting not knowing what currying it up meant, he took his chances with the spice rack.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 23 May, 2003, 04:04:09 am
How about getting her to post some facts on this thread?

And show me to be intellectually inferior? I think not. :)

Fact:
Mixing cocaine with Vim and the contents of a lava lamp produces a chemical reaction which results in creating 70s sweets sensation 'Moon Dust'.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 23 May, 2003, 05:51:47 am
FACT: There are worse things than seeing your childhood hero on the bog...

Link: You probably don't want to click this...

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 May, 2003, 12:09:56 am
The Government intends to set up a new scheme later this year in which teams of volunteers will roam the countryside painting badgers orange.

It is believed that this will prevent the badgers from being mistaken for road crossings and driven over by cars.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 24 May, 2003, 11:14:24 am
FACT
the government is concerned about the amount of shoppers who get cold in winter when they go to the big christmas light ups around the country.
as such this year they are going to stagger christmas celebrations across the country starting in about july and running through until november.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 May, 2003, 04:06:05 pm
The existence of reincarnation has recently been proven beyond a doubt. After years of research it appears that moths are attracted to bright lights because they were shopaholics in a past life.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 May, 2003, 06:06:03 pm
To celebrate the demise of S Club this week, here's a special related fact...

Many people wondered as to the significance of the S in S Club 7 when they first appeared on the scene and although there were many suggestions none of them came anywhere close to the truth.

The reality is that the S stands for Sharpe because the S Club franchise is the sinister legacy of Denis Sharpe the man responsible for the M.A.C.H. project. The Club of course is an abbreviation of Create Lucre Using Banality, whereas the 7 has far more too it than just being the number of members.

Before S Club 7 there were a number of failed attempts at creating the perfect pop combo, six to be precise. Among these were Vanilla, Deuce and Eternal, all hideous amalgamations in a constant state of inner turmoil that eventually led to their self-destruction. Remember these facts next time you see the S Club 8 in action.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 25 May, 2003, 09:03:30 pm
Fact
Brighton beach was one of the most wonderful beachs  in the world.with fine sand which was gold in colour.but the local council had to stop all the topless bathers from france who where offending the local community.as such they had the entire stretch covered in pebbles.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 26 May, 2003, 12:09:00 am
FACT monkeys are always funky
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 26 May, 2003, 05:23:44 am
FACT In order to see the new matrix film at the Gala Cinema in Durham at 8.15, you must have booked a ticket.  Hence a certain demonic fowl got wet for no reason, and so decided to go and get pissed instead
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 May, 2003, 06:16:58 pm
Don't tell me you weren't expecting this one...

To celebrate the launch of Big Brother 2K Online Stylee, here is a special Big Brother fact.

All of the contestants seen in Big Brother are actors, very bad actors. That is why you always get the feeling you’ve seen one or more of them somewhere before. It's more than likely you have, usually in a low budget film, show or drama on channel 5.

Their incarceration in the Big Brother house is part of a Community Service order for crimes against the arts. Their lack of skills also explains why they find improvisation in conversation so hard to achieve.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Buddy on 26 May, 2003, 06:31:00 pm
FACT
This is the first post I have posted to the longest running thread GET FACT!

I may post another post at a lated date, or I may not.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 May, 2003, 11:45:44 pm
Cats are amphibious although they would rather drown than let this fact become well known.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 28 May, 2003, 11:51:51 am
FACT
bannas are  green. they are painted yellow by teams of workers in the plantations before shipping to make them more appealing to the shoppers in supermarkets.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 28 May, 2003, 07:06:14 pm
Fact: The SFA (Scottish Fitba Assoc)and the Tartan army have signed an agreement with their engish counterparts to support them only when Engerland support the French national team.

Fact: Snowy, Tintin's dog, is a Albino Badger.

Fact Charlie does surf.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 May, 2003, 10:44:04 pm
The Wombles are well known for their litter removing activities, making use of things that everyday folk leave behind and generally Wombling free, but there is also a more sinister side to their nature as revealed in David Attenborough's never before seen wildlife documentary "The Secret Life of Wombles".

Many months of hidden camera filming, showed that the Wombles environmentally friendly image was nothing more than a front for their late night rampages throughout the local neighbourhood in which they would knock over dustbins, smash windows, set off car alarms and violate family pets.

The BBC fearing that these revelations would damage sales of Wombles merchandise prevented the documentary from ever being shown and to this day the Wombles are still thought of as lovable, tidy little creatures. Those who know better think they’re right b*st*rds.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 29 May, 2003, 02:22:22 am
always knew there was something dodgy about uncle bulgaria
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 29 May, 2003, 04:25:42 am
It's all the tartan that's the giveaway... now I shall run very fast in the opposite direction, before I am hit by a fire engine...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 May, 2003, 05:29:21 pm
FACT,
if you partner offers you a new video phone. say no thankyou. its a ploy,
next time you say hi honey yes coming home now. she will demand a picture. there you are in the bar cutie at your side.
YOUR RUMBLED,.
our lives as we know them over.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 May, 2003, 10:14:40 pm
Sir Isaac Newton's greatest discovery was the result of him being clonked on the head by an apple.

This single incident inspired him to invent cider and after drinking copious amounts of it he became acutely aware of the laws of gravity.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 30 May, 2003, 12:04:35 am
DD  partner offering video phones ? FACT funky cheap gadgets are not so readily available in Uk as over there. However there could be a lucrative business opportunity for you there.
I would like a video phone, lap top, palm top, vid camera and teleportation device please. thankyou.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: thinky on 30 May, 2003, 03:11:23 am
FACT - Clint Eastwood is Stan Laurel's son

(well, it's more like an official rumour, upgraded from pure fantasy but not in the heady heights of fully accepted fact)

yttim?

apols if done before - it is a *very* long thread
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 30 May, 2003, 07:21:43 pm
Wombles actually only have a five minute memory span and unless they sing a special song to remind themselves they exist, they vanish.

Hence: "Remember you're a womble, remember you're a womble..."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 30 May, 2003, 10:40:56 pm
It is a well known FACT in scientific circles, that trans-dimensional being are in fact petrified of human socks.  Also if planning a journey to another dimension be sure to back a cagoule, take your wellies and a nice thermos of tea.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tu-plang on 30 May, 2003, 10:42:28 pm
FACT.  This is 2000adonline.com's largest thread, and with my scrollwheel it takes 6.67 seconds to scroll through the post-list at the end.

Umpty, this is also my first foray into Get Fact.

THIS THREAD IS ENORMOUS, and it's the reason the message board main page is so stretched.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wake on 30 May, 2003, 10:54:35 pm
and it's the reason the message board main page is so stretched.

Sorted.

Wake
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tu-plang on 30 May, 2003, 10:59:30 pm
Good job.  Now... get me a sandwich.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 May, 2003, 11:51:35 pm
Gwyneth Paltrow is often berated for her extremely long Oscar ™ acceptance speech, but what people fail to realise is that she was actually rehearsing lines for a possible role in a new Mike Leigh film.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 31 May, 2003, 08:11:25 pm
During the infamous Poll Tax riots of the nineties, people were encouraged by the Conservative Government to loot shops and cause as much mischief as possible so that the Police could then arrest them and show how well the taxpayer's money was being spent.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 31 May, 2003, 08:55:40 pm
FACT
mc claren the F1 racing team are launching a new chassis and upgraded enigine this weekend for the grand prix. this cannot be true,i have heard it said they spent all the money on a fast car.  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 01 June, 2003, 02:23:56 am
FACT: Hellboy's looking pretty cool in the new movie.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 01 June, 2003, 02:24:58 am
ANOTHER FACT: Abe Sapien's no slouch, either.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 01 June, 2003, 05:46:21 pm
Leo Tolstoy's literary masterpiece "War and Peace" was never intended to be read. He developed it purely as a novelty doorstop.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 01 June, 2003, 05:55:40 pm
Fact one: I'm really sad that Karne is hiding out here, instead of being silly (with maybe a little restraint) on the rest of the board.

Fact two: This is the first time I've posted here in months, and I felt moved to do so because it's apparently the best way to communicate with the Blue Meanie.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 02 June, 2003, 02:34:05 pm
and it's the reason the message board main page is so stretched.

Something that I'd FACTed about on May 20th.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 02 June, 2003, 02:41:02 pm
Chef's Tip for June 2003:

Wimbledon starts on 23rd June and once again tons of strawberries will be sold.  This year, instead of smothering them in cream, try drizzling balsamic vinegar over them and sprinkling with caster sugar.  Or if you're feeling really adventurous, go the whole hog and add a little black pepper - then see how the flavours come to life.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tu-plang on 02 June, 2003, 02:49:18 pm
Oo-er.  Sorry Odd, haven't read many of the other posts.

FACT:  Poeple in stetsons nearly ALWAYS look silly.  Unless they're monkeys.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 June, 2003, 11:07:14 pm
Cheese is a type of fabric and is widely used in the manufacture of socks.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 June, 2003, 11:18:21 pm
Hello there Trouty.

How's yourself? No need to be sad 'cos I'm not really hiding, just restricting myself until folks realise how silly grown ups look arguing about the lack of serious posts on a site populated in the main by thirty something men who read (and write) comics. Oh and working hard on college stuff instead. Bloomin deadlines, what are they all about then eh? ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 03 June, 2003, 12:20:43 am
Matt FACT:  I am sadly liking this place a whole lot less since this time last week...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 03 June, 2003, 12:34:08 am
FACT: I've been on holiday in France (where I got lost in Paris for almost three hours. Thankyou anonymous Frenchman who explained the 'port' system they use) and I have missed all the cafuffle of he last week.

Did you all have a big fight or some thing?

Rotts
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 02:35:39 pm
FACT
if you are having trouble with carrying large water bottles to the beach during the hot summer months.you should consider carrying less and diluting it when you arrive at the destination.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 02:42:31 pm
FACT
blackpool rock.
due to excessive mining to fuel excessive tourist trade for souveniors of the afore mentioned item. the local council decided the practise had to cease.since 1903 black pool rock has been subisituted with a more enviromently friendly sugar based nougat substance.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 03 June, 2003, 03:04:41 pm
Fact:  Dredd's badge must have really sharp edges if he can cut someone's finger off with it.

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 03 June, 2003, 03:26:10 pm
As I'm sure Devon's Daddy can confirm, Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 03 June, 2003, 04:42:43 pm
It is in fact possible to sneeze with your eyes open.

WoD

PS - As I'm typing this my one eyeball is sitting in my coffee cup and the other is dangling down looking at the keyboard swinging freely.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 04:51:10 pm
FACT
As I'm sure Devon's Daddy can confirm, Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."

TRUE FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 04:54:00 pm
FACT
striped paint was created years ago.

but the big boys bought over the patent and had the recipe destroyed so that if you wanted to have a house looking like a deck chair you would need to buy more paint.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 04:56:51 pm
FACT
fish scales are useless when it comes to telling you how heavy something is.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 03 June, 2003, 04:58:50 pm
FACT: Most toilets flush in E flat.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 03 June, 2003, 04:59:37 pm
Fact : 3 or more postings in a row is not in the spirit of things, and if this is the 500th post then please allocate any prize to a board wide competition.

WOD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 03 June, 2003, 05:02:54 pm
fact; If that sounded bitchy is was not meant to.  I just like the board-wide competitions.

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 05:02:59 pm
FACT
in an effort to be more european in every aspect of british life.the london marathon will be renamed the cool britannia snickers run from next year onwards.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 03 June, 2003, 05:03:34 pm
Hear hear! Bloody gum-free board spammers! ;)

PS: FACT: Burger King? uses approximately 1/2 million pounds of bacon every month in its restaurants. Some of it's even fresh.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 June, 2003, 05:06:10 pm
FACT
not intended to be so, hence why i did not post for several minutes after reaching fact 499, please note.this is not my way. simply very quiet time at work.

i have had the honour of being 400 and proud of this fact.quite right spread the good feeling around.we need plenty this week.
DD
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 03 June, 2003, 05:11:50 pm

FACT: Most toilets flush in E flat.


I think Noisybast got the 500th post.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 03 June, 2003, 05:13:51 pm
DD - I appologise again matey, didn't mean it to sound like that hence the next post.  From what I've seen of your posting style, it doesn't strike me as something you would do anyway.

WoD (tip-toeing away from the keyboard....)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 03 June, 2003, 05:16:06 pm
Yep, Noisy did indeed get it by my calculations.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 03 June, 2003, 05:22:11 pm
"Yep, Noisy did indeed get it by my calculations.

Woohoo! Does that mean I win a prize?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 June, 2003, 01:41:15 am
Wow this thread suddenly grew! I wasn't expecting to reach 500 until next week, but it's going like a train at the moment.

Anyway by my calculations as well it is indeed Mr Bast who's up for the prize this time. Just tell me what you'd like Noisy B. whether it be Video, DVD, Graphic Novel or something else, all within reason of course and I'll get it sorted for you.

You can E-Mail me via the site if you don't want to say what you'd like here ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 June, 2003, 02:01:03 am
There is a lot of debate between the creationist/evolution theory camps over who is right and who is wrong. The fact of the matter is they all are wrong, all religions, even the ones who kill you if you disagree with them. Pull up a pew and I'll tell you why...

In the beginning there wasn't much at all. Not even McDonalds or a Woolworth's, there was however God. Now God is not, as many people think a human shaped chap. No indeed, what would be the point of specifically evolved limbs and appendages in a void I ask you? God is more of...well to be honest it's pretty hard to describe what he looks like because he's every thing possible all at the same time you see. Perhaps you don't. It's quite a difficult thing to see when you're bound by the laws of a single reality, but that's how it is, nothing to do with me really. Well not unless you consider the fact that we are all aspects of the same God and then I suppose it's everyone's doing.

Anyway I digress. In the beginning, as I've already mentioned, was God and not much else. He was all alone, all by himself, no mates to phone, no local branch of Blockbuster, nothing. This is the type of scenario that could drive anyone to the brink of insanity in a very fast car with questionable brakes, and as a consequence God started to talk to himself. Before long he found that he was starting to enjoy these conversations, the only problem was that he wasn't getting enough feedback. He needed another angle, a different viewpoint, perhaps even a different species. He ran this thought by himself who replied "Whoa man! what are you thinking?" And so Whoa man, who eventually became Woman was created.

Like most people living on their own, God had become quite used to his own space, (which is good really considering the amount he had of it) and decided to give his newly created friends a place of their own. After a fair amount of thought, he decided the Earth would be a good place for them to live. He'd built it as a plaything one lonely evening out of sheer boredom and populated it with dinosaurs. Why? Well everyone is fascinated by dinosaurs aren't they, why should God be any different?

Of course there weren't any dinosaurs roaming about on Earth at this time. Not since that unfortunate incident involving the meteor sized tennis ball, but hey, accidents will happen won't they. The only problem was that God's two alter ego's weren't really best suited to this new environment so what could he do? He mused on this for a few seconds and invented evolution, the ability to adapt to suit surroundings. Yes just as a pleasant housing estate will evolve into a slum should nuisance neighbours move into it, so Gods creations evolved into something that could cope with their new home.

All was rosy on Earth to begin with, especially the roses. Man and Woman or Adam and Eve as God now called them in order to tell them apart, had evolved into something similar to what you see in the mirror today and as such began to argue over things like "Where should we go tonight?" "Why don't you ever pay me compliments anymore?" and "Do you have to snore so loudly?" Before long they were sleeping in separate trees and refused to speak to each other over breakfast. God needed to do something to make them see the folly of their ways, he needed them to understand, to see the bigger picture, but how? A few seconds later he came up with the idea of knowledge.

Some people assume that all this fruit littered about the Garden of Eden was nothing more than, well...fruit. It is in fact a metaphor for the evolution of understanding and reasoning.  Now God being God, was pretty much used to being top dog as far as existence went and the last thing he wanted was someone else beating him at scrabble so he decided to limit their knowledge. Unfortunately for him he'd made too good a job of evolution and nature found a way to carry on regardless.

One day Adam and Eve decided to create a few more friends and have a dinner party. Not yet having God’s knowledge involving the creation of schizophrenic counterparts and giving them flesh, they decided to evolve another way of reproducing. Thus appeared the serpent in Eden (although worm might have been a more appropriate description). When God found out about all this he was furious. Not because of the sudden population growth, but because they hadn't invited him to the dinner party. In a blinding rage he flung them out of Eden and has to this day refused to let them and their descendants back in until they reach a state of Nirvana, or at least apologise.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tu-plang on 04 June, 2003, 08:08:06 am
"FACT: Burger King? uses approximately 1/2 million pounds of bacon every month in its restaurants."

FACT: I used to work in Burger King?.

"Some of it's even fresh."

FACT: No it's not.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 04 June, 2003, 05:17:35 pm
"FACT: No it's not."

Oh. OK. How's this tasty morsel, then?

FACT: In South Africa, termites are often roasted and eaten by the handful, like pretzels or popcorn.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 June, 2003, 05:32:07 pm
FACT: In response to Karne's post I laughed out loud in the office and now my boss is watching me like a hawk.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 04 June, 2003, 05:49:27 pm
Annoyed by visitors taking his cigars, Thomas Edison devised a plan to discourage the practice. He had several boxes of cigars custom-made with cabbage leaves. But when the offensive smelling stogies were delivered to his office, his secretary sent them on to his home where his wife went ahead and packed the items in his luggage, and the offensive items accompanied Mr. Edison on his business trip. This just goes to show that even a genius can't plan for the actions of a well-meaning wife.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 05 June, 2003, 05:16:30 am
Fish would not be able to survive in water if you boiled it because this causes the oxygen contained within the water to disperse.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 05 June, 2003, 01:55:38 pm
Several Persian cats were recently found wandering around in the ruins of Baghdad.  Clear evidence that Iraq did indeed possess Weapons of Mouse Destruction.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 05 June, 2003, 11:26:55 pm
There's just no justification for committing crime no matter what the criminals may say, but their excuses are often a perfect reason for bringing back the death penalty.

Take for instance the case of Derek Pumble, an unemployed carrier bag tester from Ipswich who was apprehended whilst trying to take a funfair ride from the seaside resort of Blackpool. In his interview at the local Police station he claimed he was not trying to steal the ride but commit suicide.

The bemused Police officers were at a loss to explain his strange plea until in the presence of his solicitor he remarked, "Well according to Ronan Keating, Life is a Roller Coaster".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 06 June, 2003, 12:27:01 am
Capt.Zeep, your one was bad. Karne, if this is even possible, yours was worse.

Congratulations all!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 06 June, 2003, 01:55:54 pm
One time star of Play School and Play Away Floella Benjamin based her quirky performance on kamikaze suffragette Emily Pankhurst.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 07 June, 2003, 04:40:58 pm
FACT
the lastest trendy and small handphone has two new important features.
it does not have a silent mode nor can it be switched off.
for a demonstration of this elite little number visit any cinema,theatre or public place of worship this weekend.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 07 June, 2003, 05:08:47 pm
Arnold Schwarzenegger based his performance of the virtually unstoppable T-100 Terminator on a Ford Capri.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 07 June, 2003, 05:44:10 pm
Not wanting to get picky or anything, Karne... but Arnold was the Cyberdyne Systems 101, not the T-100, which is actually the T-1000.

And your facts are usually so reliable...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 June, 2003, 03:19:08 pm
FACT
true one as well,
natural gas has no odour at all. the smell of gas as it termed is in fact added to all gas cylinders to enable the user to know if he has a gas leak
(thats true that is)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 June, 2003, 06:16:15 pm
"Arnold was the Cyberdyne Systems 101, not the T-100, which is actually the T-1000."


Well of course you're right there Rac (apart from the T-100/T-1000 thing), or at least according to the finished version of the film. Let me explain...

The actual model of Terminator that Arnie plays is the T-800 model 101. Arnold was originally cast to play one of the tank like Terminators that you see in the wasteland of the future the T-100, which is also sometimes referred to as the T-1. It was because of this that he based his performance on a Ford Capri.

After James Cameron saw Arnie's "performance" he likened it to being trapped with his worst fears in room 101. Unfortunately for Cameron a make-up artist grassed him up and to avoid a serious kicking by the Austrian half-wit, he was forced to give him the starring role.

He called him the Model 101 as an in-joke. Arnold being such a one dimensional actor did of course use his Ford Capri interpretation in his new role.

Don't forget to impress the movie buffs down your local pub with this relatively unknown fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 08 June, 2003, 06:31:10 pm
Oh, I see... well now I just feel stupid...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 June, 2003, 12:02:38 pm
in  a bold effort to educate you the unwashed i will now post a few REAL facts.

so next time you are at the local wine bar discussing the vertical tasting dinner you enjoyed the other day , you can throw in these gems of historical importance.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take
the bones to a"bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening
these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks
on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse,
lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a
bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night
(the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell;  thus, someone could be
"saved by the bell" or was considered a dead ringer."


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 June, 2003, 12:07:00 pm
FACT
now please stop scribbling and allow my to educate you.

The wealthy had slate floors that would g et slippery in the winter
when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep
their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh
until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside.  A
piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a
"thresh hold


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 June, 2003, 12:54:08 am
Enough of these comedy facts DD, here's a real one...

Karl Marx was at one time known as the "fifth" Marx brother and was greatly responsible for the creation of his brother Groucho's comedy persona with quotes such as "Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity".

He was asked to leave the group when it became clear that his "Comedy Manifesto" differed greatly from that of Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo, but his parting comment "Last words are for fools who haven't said enough" was the inspiration behind Harpo's silent act.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 10 June, 2003, 07:04:11 pm
FACT:

At last years's works do, a quiz was organised. A number of staff had to compere and prepare a round of questions.

A colleague and I designed the oh-so-popular "Who's Marx is it anyway?" round.

Quotations from Richard Marx, Karl Marx and Groucho Marx were read out and the teams had to guess who said what.

We thought it funny.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: test 4 echo on 10 June, 2003, 11:27:51 pm
 "FACT: In South Africa, termites are often roasted and eaten by the handful, like pretzels or popcorn."

fact: roasted termites are tasty, in a butter flavored kinda way.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 11 June, 2003, 03:47:39 am
Although often seen as figures of fun and amusement, clowns are quite rightly a source of fear and terror for most people. The reason for this goes back to the early part of the 12th century when it was thought that clowns would visit the dying and steal their souls.

The simple peasant folk of the day believed that clowns were empty husks that could only exist by stealing happy joyous souls and in order to ensure their victims were mirthful at the time of death would perform merry japes involving buckets of water and big pants.

There is often much truth in the bizarre and far-fetched tales of bygone days, remember this next time you visit the circus.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 11 June, 2003, 04:15:54 am
Cornflakes were originally invented as a cure for masturbation.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 11 June, 2003, 09:50:10 pm
FACT.
DD is going on a weeks leave
though should i the hotel have internet access i may drop by and at least post on this the boards greatest thread.
so see you all in a week.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 June, 2003, 01:01:48 am
Well done for that seemingly unlikely Cornflake fact Rac, here's another one to go with it...

Cornflakes make an ideal substitute for concrete foundations. Try experimenting with some at home by simply forgetting to wash a bowl containing some leftover cornflakes and milk with a spoon in. You’ll be amazed at how strong it is.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 June, 2003, 01:14:35 am
"DD is going on a weeks leave."

See you when you get back DD. I'll e-mail you and let you know when those cards (hopefully) turn up.

Here's a special DD fact to see you off with.

Devon's Daddy had a special outfit personally made for him by Tharg to help him in his duty as official welcomer of new members to the 2K site. Unfortunately the Mighty One forgot to take the pins out and DD was subjected to a free treatment of acupuncture.

Luckily for Tharg, DD was rather pleased, as it would have cost him a hundred pounds to have a professional do it and he gave the Green one a crisp tenner to run down to the sweet shop with.

How likely is that eh?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 June, 2003, 01:15:37 am
Oops!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 12 June, 2003, 01:17:21 am
'Well done for that seemingly unlikely Cornflake fact Rac'

Unlikely, but, as I think you may know, it is in fact true.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 June, 2003, 01:17:50 am
Bold off damn you! Sigh!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 June, 2003, 01:19:59 am
He! I know Rac, it's amazing the amount of facts I could post here without anyone questioning the validity of ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 12 June, 2003, 01:20:36 am
Is it off yet?

I don't know how to, or I would try...

Still, here's another true one:

Heroin was originally marketed as a cold remedy. It worked, but had certain side effects that resulted in it being withdrawn from sale rather quickly.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 12 June, 2003, 01:23:55 am
Don't mention Coca Cola Rac ;)

By the way, there is a completely verified fact posted by myself on this thread you know. Honest.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 12 June, 2003, 01:44:59 am
'By the way, there is a completely verified fact posted by myself on this thread you know. Honest.
'

Now, that is just crazy talk, Karne!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 12 June, 2003, 01:39:06 pm
Top film star Keanu Reeves, him who played Neo (or Neil, as my French pal insisted he was called) off the Matrix, is in fact the brother of top comedian and light entertainer Vic Reeves.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 13 June, 2003, 04:04:36 am
The Bronte sisters were actually brothers. They felt it best to adopt the fa?ade in a society that shunned men who were in touch with their feminine side.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 14 June, 2003, 04:33:09 am
Sugar can be used as a substitute for petrol or diesel in any of the more expensive makes of motorcar.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 14 June, 2003, 10:01:30 pm
Legendary stage and TV performer Bruce Forsyth is so afraid of being bald that he took up hunting in order to ensure a regular supply of dead vermin to wear on his head.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 14 June, 2003, 11:00:06 pm
'Sugar can be used as a substitute for petrol or diesel in any of the more expensive makes of motorcar.'

I'm going to take you on your word here, Karne... and go out and help the neighbours with their fuel consumption.
I shall report back later, viz a viz the success of the venture.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 June, 2003, 02:19:43 am
Just remember Rac that this is a very secret fact so you musn't tell anyone I told you. In fact you can take all the credit for it yourself if you like. Actually I insist that you do.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 June, 2003, 02:22:08 am
Snails are capable of great speeds, but are also extremely laid back in their approach to life.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 June, 2003, 02:39:17 am
'Just remember Rac that this is a very secret fact so you musn't tell anyone I told you. In fact you can take all the credit for it yourself if you like. Actually I insist that you do.'


Ohhh, naplam.

When do you think my eyebrows will grow back?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 June, 2003, 11:54:16 pm
"When do you think my eyebrows will grow back?"

I have a fact that may just help you out there Rac...

A sure fire way to restore missing eyebrows it to cover the affected area with lighter fluid and then lean over a lit gas cooker.

Hope this is of some help to you Rac.

karne ponders for a moment... Or was that to remove eyebrows?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 17 June, 2003, 12:56:46 am
*batting smoke from in front of his eyes*

remove, my friend, it was remove...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 June, 2003, 12:32:34 am
There is much truth to be found in nursery rhymes. Take for instance the story of Humpty Dumpty, which was based on a real life man named Humphrey Dumfries who was possessed of such excessive girth that he bore a startling resemblance to an egg.

One day, whilst he was trying to climb a wall to get a better glimpse of Little Bo Peep in her bloomers, he slipped and fell causing himself multiple fractures in the process.

Now in those days things were very similar to the way they are now, in so much as there was very little in the way of emergency services, what with pay disputes and strikes and such. If ever there were a problem of any nature, the King's men would be sent out to deal with it.

Unfortunately for Mr Dumfries though, the Kings men were more adept at killing peasants to prevent them having uprisings than putting people back together again and so he became yet another statistic of the Governments ineptitude regarding the Health Service.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 18 June, 2003, 11:43:53 pm
To celebrate the release of "The Dalek Invasion of Earth" double DVD this week here's a "Get Fact" Dalek double to go with it.


Roy Skelton not only provided voices for Doctor Who's Daleks and Zippy from out of Rainbow, but also for TV presenter Mariella Frostrup and Ashley Peacock from Coronation Street.



Terry Nation often lied about where the name of his briefly described to, and realised by Ray Cusick creations the Daleks came from, saying such things as it was on the spine of an encyclopaedia as Dal-Lek. The truth is that he had envisioned them as huge sentient robotic bulbs of garlic but was too embarrassed to admit he'd got the spelling wrong.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 19 June, 2003, 10:32:17 pm
Sellotape is so called because it was invented in a basement by a dyslexic.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 June, 2003, 12:52:03 am
People assume that pop and TV star Goldie gets his name from his gold teeth, the truth is that it's due to his habit of sneaking into bears' houses and abusing their hospitality.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 21 June, 2003, 02:45:41 pm
FACT
the kiwi friut is not a friut at all
but the egg of the new zealand bird. this fact is hidden so that the new zealander trade commision do not damage the whole some vegetarain image assocaited with the word kiwi friut.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 June, 2003, 11:25:33 pm
D.D.'s back! Hooray!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 21 June, 2003, 11:26:54 pm
Sand is composed of millions of tiny locust testicles.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 22 June, 2003, 12:25:13 am
Karne, that last fact was a load of balls.






...sorry...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 June, 2003, 03:40:22 am
Careful Rac, comments like that may make me a bit testy.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 22 June, 2003, 08:39:53 am
For many years viewers of the TV series "The Prisoner" have been baffled as to what it was all about, but Patrick McGoohan the enigmatic star of the show recently revealed that it was just a straight-forward version of "The man in the Iron Mask" before Lew Grade got his hands on it.



I AM NOT A NUMBER, I AM A FRE...Hang on a minute, I am actually a number now I think about it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 22 June, 2003, 09:10:10 am
Cheese, if left in the sun long enough, will evolve into a completley new lifeform and run off with your girlfreind.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 June, 2003, 12:53:19 am
Peter the Great had his wife's lover executed and then forced her to keep the head in a jar of alcohol in her bedroom. This led to the phrase: "That drinks gone straight to my head" being coined.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 24 June, 2003, 01:23:58 am
'Peter the Great had his wife's lover executed and then forced her to keep the head in a jar of alcohol in her bedroom'

My god, Karne, sure we've all done that...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 24 June, 2003, 01:26:27 am
Well, it's a sure-fire way of getting head in the bedroom ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 24 June, 2003, 01:29:17 am
Man, it is the ONLY way!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 24 June, 2003, 03:24:42 pm
FACT,

YOU SHOULD NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
LICK A STEAK KNIFE!

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 24 June, 2003, 03:26:19 pm
Fact
unless you are with a female who is actually giving birth.as in you can see the head appearing.
never ask her if she is pregnant.
you have been warned.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 24 June, 2003, 03:53:49 pm
DD - I can add another fact to that.....

NEVER NEVER NEVER ask the pregnancy question of a woman who is in the process of cutting your hair.  It is not a clever thing to do!  I refuse to post the picture.

WoD
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 24 June, 2003, 06:34:20 pm
I think there may be a spectacular story in those last three posts...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 June, 2003, 12:48:21 am
"I think there may be a spectacular story in those last three posts..."

There is indeed Rac, and if I may, let me tell you one of the most bizarre facts to date...

Many years ago special agents D.D. and WoD were working undercover as chefs in a Uni-sex Hairdressing Salon/Restaurant. Described as the ideal place to visit if trim was your goal, but so was a large meal, Prime Cuts was THE place to go.

However, there were more sinister goings on behind the front of a friendly hairdresser cum restaurant as D.D. and WoD found out to their peril in the episode that has become more famously known as:

D.D. and WoD in The Case of the Hairy Pies

It was a hot summer night in Cricklewood, and in the Hairdresser/Restaurant known as Prime Cuts, special agents D.D. and Wod were sweating their b*ll*cks off over a hot stove whilst the hairdressers chatted inanely about holidays and their boyfriends and stuff.

Suddenly, without warning D.D. yelled; "CHICKEN CASSEROLE FOR TWO AT TABLE 5 WoD, QUICKLY!" Without a moment's thought or hesitation, WoD was tearing through the swing double doors towards table 5 clutching two plates of steaming chicken casserole. Phew! Sighed D.D. That was a narrow one. He quickly scanned the restaurant for any other customers who may have need of his culinary expertise, before his gaze fell on a round-bellied hairdresser. He casually sauntered over to her, slid into the styling chair in front of her and asked; "So when's the baby due, or is it twins?"

It was a good half-hour later that WoD discovered the shaven headed D.D. thrown in a battered heap beneath a table in the far corner of the restaurant.

Later that day, our intrepid chums discovered a discrepancy in the larder. Although a great number of pies had been made, it seemed that there was an unusually large amount of filling left.

The first thought that leapt to WoD's razor sharp mind was that someone had been scrimping on the filling, until D.D. remarked that there was no way an under-filled pie would have got by his keen eyes. There was only one other solution; someone had been substituting the pie filling with something else. But who and more importantly what? And also quite importantly why?

The master sleuths decided to hide in the shop that night and lie in wait for the perpetrator. Shortly before midnight, they heard a strange noise coming from the store cupboard and bracing themselves for whatever lurked inside, they flung the door wide open and were met by a sight of unimaginable terror...

Coming towards them from the back of the store cupboard was a ghostly green floating apparition that moaned like a pampered wife and glowed like the arse of a smacked aphid. Backing away in fright, our intrepid heroes stumbled and tripped over something lying on the floor behind them. There was an abrupt muffled shout and the phantom suddenly disappeared.

D.D. flicked on the lights to reveal a large mass on the floor covered by a white sheet with two ghostly eye-holes cut into it. "I think," he declared to Wod, "that you'll find that the only spooks round here are..." he paused for dramatic effect before whipping off the sheet, "Anthony Worral Thompson and Nicky Clarke". WoD was amazed. "It's quite simple really", announced D.D. "these two owned shares in this hairdressing restaurant hybrid, knew it was losing money and in order to cut costs began filling the pies with all the hair cuttings from the floor". "Yes", growled Worral-Thompson, "and we would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling...what are you anyway?" "We're undercover special agents for her Majesty the Queen" said WoD, "and you?re going to prison for a very long time". "What for?" said Nicky Clarke. "Pie-romania!," laughed D.D. and he and WoD carried on like this until the regular police arrived.

Later on that day WoD was talking to D.D. about the whole sorry affair. You know D.D. there?s just one thing that baffles me. "Just the one thing WoD?" Said D.D. "Yes", said WoD. "What's that then WoD?", said D.D. "Well", said WoD, "if those celebrity twats could afford a state of the art holographic projector to scare people away, why was the restaurant in danger of closing?" "WoD," said D.D. "could you lick the gravy of this steak knife for me?"

The End.


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 25 June, 2003, 02:10:05 pm
THARG SIGN this script writer.
seems to me Karne is long distant cousin
to oddgirl who is also related to einestien.only such a linage of brain power could be this nuts.

FACT (true one)
your computer you are working on right now.has a larger memory capacity then the one they to make the space shuttle work,the shuttle.designed in the 70s and early 80s still basically runs,on the orginal computer programmes. .
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 25 June, 2003, 06:54:45 pm
"...ghostly green floating apparition that moaned like a pampered wife and glowed like the arse of a smacked aphid."

Heh heh!

FACT: Karne subsists on a diet of Guatemalan insanity chillies, nail polish remover and wire wool covered in margarine.  He is also plainly hardwired to his computer and has a plentiful supply of time on his hands...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 25 June, 2003, 07:15:07 pm
Fact Karne is writing the next Scarlett Traces and LXG crossover.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 June, 2003, 11:09:34 pm
"FACT: Karne subsists on a diet of Guatemalan insanity chillies, nail polish remover and wire wool covered in margarine."

I've warned you before about rummaging through my bins haven't I Zeep.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 June, 2003, 11:12:26 pm
"Fact Karne is writing the next Scarlett Traces and LXG crossover."

You forgot to mention that it will also feature Luther Arkwright Huffster.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 25 June, 2003, 11:18:57 pm
Kevin O'Neill the office teaboy at King's Reach Tower was desperate to have a drawing published in 2000ad in the hope that he would win the ?10 star-prize. His opportunity came about one dinner time when the rest off the staff were at the pub over the road discussing ideas for a new story named "Death Planet". Seizing his chance, O'Neill substituted the prize winning sketch with his own drawing of a "Doomsday Tank", but before he could change the original prize-winner "Padam Singhs" name to his own he was disturbed by the cleaner.

The issue went to press, and when the fiery-tempered (and haired) Mills saw the drawing he realised what had happened, went off on one, and made O'Neill draw the first ever Future Shock as punishment. However, O'Neill could not resist getting in a dig at Pat and drew a corpse-like astronaut named Mills into the strip. When Pat saw this he savagely beat O'Neill and forced him to work on Nemesis the Warlock until the final episode apart from a few brief periods when Jesus Redondo, Bryan Talbot and John Hicklenton p*ss*d him off too.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 25 June, 2003, 11:53:28 pm
'D.D. and WoD in The Case of the Hairy Pies '


Well. I read this 'story' with interest, and a growing concern. So I sent it to a psycholgist.
I have just recieved back his reply.
He says  that you're, in his words, 'Fucking mad.'
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 June, 2003, 01:01:43 am
"Well. I read this 'story' with interest, and a growing concern. So I sent it to a psycholgist.
I have just recieved back his reply.
He says that you're, in his words, 'Fucking mad.'
"

What do you mean, "story"? It's a fact that is, just ask D.D. and WoD, and as for his comment  "F*cking mad", well that's just typical of psychologists, everything has to revolve around sex with them doesn't it.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 26 June, 2003, 01:08:22 am
"...you've got china in your hands", wailed horrendous 80's bint Carol Decker out of godawful softrock shite band T'pau.  BUT if you actually wanted to hold "China in your hands", each hand would need a surface area of ONE BILLION MILES and the index fingers would need to be TWICE AS LONG AS PERU!   (fact).
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 26 June, 2003, 01:19:28 am
Here's an extra fact for you in relation to Zeep's last post...

Eighties sh*te rockers T'pau claimed they took their name from Mr Spock from out of TV's Star Trek's mother. This is not true as the real reason is that it was the noise people's fists made upon contact with the bands faces after hearing their music.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 26 June, 2003, 03:08:45 pm
FACT
seedless grapes are actaully a form of fungus which grows on the genitals of korean pot bellied pigs.
this is the reason is often offered with cheese.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 26 June, 2003, 03:28:21 pm
FACT
tiger woods says he is happy to see female golf sensation erica sorenston at the masters.
he says its great to have  someone on hand to iron his shirts.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 26 June, 2003, 07:31:52 pm
Karne's right you know; The story about the pies is all true, infact, Sky are hoping to pick up the rights for a new X-Pile type series based on our real life exploits.  Just ask DD.

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 June, 2003, 02:22:04 am
There see, that should silence the doubters who question the validity of these facts.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 27 June, 2003, 02:24:49 am
Steve McManus the original editor of 2000AD took the job as a labour of love. "I had to", he says, "I was only paid ?25 a week, and the readers prize money had to come out of that".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 27 June, 2003, 05:03:19 pm
FACT
the worlds finest golf courses can be found all over the globe.but the worlds best caddys are in thai land. for a few extra Baht after the game they will wash your balls.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 June, 2003, 02:47:10 am
Here's the final fact in the 2000ad trilogy...

All rational people are quite rightly offended by the online antics of Scott "Scojo" Nestel, but what you may not realise is that he doesn't really exist. He is in fact the result of a publicity drive by none other than Andy Diggle who came up with the idea of an offensive ranting fan-boy as the perfect mascot for generating interest in the Galaxy?s Greatest.

Any photographs you may have seen of Scojo are in fact computer-generated images produced by long-time 2000ad contributor Steve Cook, whilst all his posts and replies are thought up by the 2000ad staff during drunken lunch-breaks.

Andy Diggle recently confessed that he had planned to kill Scojo off within a year of his first appearance, but after seeing Sonic the Hedgehog make a comeback on the GameCube, realised that there was still a lot of potential mileage left in the Scojo character.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 28 June, 2003, 03:14:00 pm
Her Majesty the Queen carries a stamp with her at all times for the purpose of identification.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 28 June, 2003, 04:28:12 pm
The popular dish 'macaroni cheese' is in fact a misnomer created by a typographical error when it was registered at the US patent office in 1938. It's proper name is 'Mickey Rooney cheese', it's primary ingredients being harvested from the diminutive actor's nob cheddar.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 29 June, 2003, 01:08:13 am
The Mullah Nasrudin carries a mirror round with him at all times for the purposes of identification...

(policeman) "do you have any identification"

(Nasrudin, producing mirror)"Yup that's me alright!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 June, 2003, 04:46:06 pm
"it's primary ingredients being harvested from the diminutive actor's nob cheddar."

THAT'S, where I recognise the smell from!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 June, 2003, 04:50:13 pm
"The Mullah Nasrudin carries a mirror round with him at all times for the purposes of identification..."

You should always place a thin film of clear plastic over a mirror before looking into it. This simple act will, in the event of over-balancing, prevent you from falling into the alternate dimension contained within the mirror.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 June, 2003, 04:52:31 pm
An octopus has three hearts. Many people have regretted not knowing this fascinating fact when confronted by a vampire cephalopod.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 June, 2003, 05:42:51 pm
FACT
Charles darwin the explorer and author of orgin of the species. was actaully the second chef on the bounty , his massive collection of animal specims he returned to blighty with where actaully the ships larder,he had so much as many of the sailors had declined to eat his culinary visions.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 June, 2003, 05:55:00 pm
FACT
Karoake was invented in the 2nd world war as a form of torture for British POWs,considered so terrible it was never acknowleged by teh allies or the japs to have been used.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 June, 2003, 06:14:53 pm
not mine but.
FACT

"Its a theory ."

yes but theories imply a thought process and logic, both of which are wasted on women
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 29 June, 2003, 07:51:47 pm
Fact:

Hitler did, in fact, really only have one ball.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 29 June, 2003, 08:02:47 pm
"Hitler did, in fact, really only have one ball."

But he did have a number of dances and the odd disco every now and then.

As you are probably aware Mr Rac you are the winner of the 600th post. Let me know what you're after (either here or via e-mail if you want) whether it be a DVD, video, graphic novel, book, figure etc. and I'll do my best to aquire it and send it off to you as soon as is humanly possible.

Happy trails,

karne.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: test 4 echo on 29 June, 2003, 10:51:51 pm
"Hitler did, in fact, really only have one ball."

although he did have 2, until he dropped his largest one invading russia.

fact:

Eating after dinner mints at any of Hitler's functions may have had fatal consequences.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JimBob on 30 June, 2003, 01:10:59 am
Fact: Hitler would only issue orders in Welsh.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 June, 2003, 02:03:40 am
"Hitler would only issue orders in Welsh."

And he would only listen to the acknowledgement of his orders in Gaelic.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 June, 2003, 02:07:39 am
You know, if we carry on like this I'm going to have to re-name this thread "Get Fa(s)c(is)t".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 30 June, 2003, 02:18:39 am
My fact appears to have mutated this into some kind of Combat 18 meeting.

Thankyou Karne, I'll contact you presently. And thank you Devon'd Daddy for stopping posting when he did and allowing me an oppertunistic (sp) fact posting.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 30 June, 2003, 02:20:25 am
Fact: this is post no. 607 on this thread and when it reaches 666 the world will end in a sea of fire and blood.

I hope.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 June, 2003, 02:47:07 am
"when it reaches 666 the world will end in a sea of fire and blood."

Hmm, probably not going to be much fun being a sea-dwelling Despot around that time then eh Trouty.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 30 June, 2003, 01:53:47 pm
FACT
modern golf balls are compsed of a variety of elements which are attacted to liquid.this can be witnessed by hitting a standard golf ball over a large body of water. will note they always land in said water.
at least they do when i play golf.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 30 June, 2003, 02:00:13 pm
well your lordship rac
Karne will reward you well for this fete.

he sent me progs 1-20 in mint condition with orignal free gifts attached, they are in specail cardboard box with is sealed. of course i have not  opened my prize. as Karne explained they would turn to dust if i did so,.they can only be removed in a clean germ free vacuum such as the space shuttle as it orbits the earth. but i know they are in there
how? well Karne said
it was a FACT that they where so it must be true.
i wonder what he is goin to send you?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 30 June, 2003, 04:24:16 pm
That's the second time DD has set this up so someone else could get the mythical 'hundred' posting.  Very generous and fair man is he.  As his Karne (of course).

But, DD could you avoid doing it on the days that my kid is screaming his heart out and vomiting exorcist-style, so that I can get a shot at it next time.

OK - FACT - I've gone through 5 t-shirts this weekend due to aforemetioned exploding baby incidents, only to give up and go topless therefore only having to hose myself down instead of having to continually run the washing machine.  More environmentally sound me hopes.  Mrs WoD put her foot down on me hoseing down the baby though.

WoD

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Pyroxian on 30 June, 2003, 05:47:50 pm
>You should always place a thin film of clear
>plastic over a mirror before looking into it.
>This simple act will, in the event of over-
>balancing, prevent you from falling into the
>alternate dimension contained within the mirror.

   What utter tosh! Everyone knows that you can't fall into the mirror as the doppelganger of you in the other dimension provides equal pressure (Try pressing your fingertips against a mirror sometime...)

   Of course what you have to watch out for people is those clever mirror-selfs that have abducted this dimension's version of themselves and are now staging a takeover... Beware the left-handed people...

  Steve
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 30 June, 2003, 06:21:09 pm
"Of course what you have to watch out for people is those clever mirror-selfs..."

FACT: Evil mirror selves can usually be identified by the goatee beards they sport.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 30 June, 2003, 07:33:43 pm
Beware the left-handed people...

We've got our own sharp objects now, too. Left-handed scissors, corkscrews and, um, tin-openers.

Fact: It's impossible to lick your elbow.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Pyroxian on 30 June, 2003, 08:12:37 pm
>Fact: It's impossible to lick your elbow.

Fact: over 50% of people reading that post just tried...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 30 June, 2003, 08:21:22 pm
'>Fact: It's impossible to lick your elbow.

Fact: over 50% of people reading that post just tried...'

Fact: and the other 50% had tried it previously...!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 June, 2003, 10:48:56 pm
Only male canaries sing, female canaries are far too busy talking.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 30 June, 2003, 10:52:42 pm
"Everyone knows that you can't fall into the mirror as the doppelganger of you in the other dimension provides equal pressure."

You've obviously never stayed awake for over three days until your doppleganger falls asleep, thus giving you the chance to pass through the mirror unhindered.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 30 June, 2003, 11:02:18 pm
"FACT: Evil mirror selves can usually be identified by the goatee beards they sport."

That explains it then... I'm the EVIL one...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 01 July, 2003, 05:23:15 am
"Fact: It's impossible to lick your elbow.

Fact: over 50% of people reading that post just tried...'

Fact: and the other 50% had tried it previously...!@


FACT: No it's not. Form an orderly queue, ladies...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: NikolaiDante on 01 July, 2003, 08:03:02 am
FACT! I can sneeze with my eyes open. (Generally this is regarded as impossible)

Dante the Eyepopper
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 01 July, 2003, 08:12:55 am
It took Dr Roget nearly fifty years to complete his Thesaurus. Not because of the content, but because he couldn't think of a word to describe it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 01 July, 2003, 12:17:05 pm
FACT
im wearing a Judge dredd t shirt today, which i bought from the internet.
it looks damn fine. i tell you.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 July, 2003, 02:43:50 pm
It's a new month; so it's time for July's Chef's Tip

"Don't relegate the refreshing flavours of melon to the dessert trolley.  Give it star billing in a starter with slivers of parma ham, or mix melon with cubes of feta cheese and toss in a lightly dressed crunchy summer salad."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 02 July, 2003, 06:17:37 am
Isaac Hayes who played the Duke in John Carpenters "Escape From New York" is also a very talented voice actor. He provided the voices of Chef in TV's South Park and Claire Rayner in the panty-liner adverts.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 02 July, 2003, 03:58:00 pm
FACT!
Rice crispies ARE just puffs of air,and contain no rice whatsoever.The characteristic Snap!Crackle!Pop! is the sound of your subconcious trying to tell you you have covered puffs of air in milk,which isn't recommended,as air avoids ANY udder products,cos no-one likes fizzy milk.
M.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 02 July, 2003, 04:54:31 pm
FACT No-one has thought to question the living arrangements of the three 'mascots' for Kellogg's Rice Crispies, the aforementioned all-male trio of Snap, Crackle and Pop.

Perhaps it's time someone did.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 02 July, 2003, 05:07:25 pm
FACT
in singapore there is an area called Little India.
with a mass of over 2 square miles. it is possible to walk around this entire Indian based community, shop,eat and soak up the araomas of spice and exotic flowers. and not find a single MC DONALDS restaurant.


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 02 July, 2003, 06:19:26 pm
Hey DD - my mate flies on Saturday to Singapore and wanted me to say thanks for all the travel advice you sent, so thanks.

OK that done.....stupid (possible) fact from me;

Another mate informs me that his nose is so big, that he thinks if he fell from any great height his nostrils may well inflate in a parachute-type-fashion and gently deposit him to the ground.  he is however unwilling to out his theory to the test (wuss!)

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 02 July, 2003, 08:04:55 pm
How can they tell Mark Vivien Foe was daft?

Well, everyone knows it's 90 minutes and then extra time before sudden death
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 02 July, 2003, 11:28:05 pm
I shouldn't be laughing, but I am.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 03 July, 2003, 02:47:13 am
Drug fact (remember kids it's not big and it's not clever etc.)

LSD was named after its inventor Ellis Dee, who was not only the brother of Dave Dee from acid rock pioneers Dave Dee, Dozy, Peaky, Eek and Twitch but also a direct descendant of prog-featuring-in Elizabethan Astrologer and Merry Prankster Dr. John Dee.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 04 July, 2003, 12:52:01 am
In Australia there is around ten times as many sheep as there are people. Australia also boasts the lowest record for sexual assault on women.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 July, 2003, 06:15:50 pm
"In Australia there is around ten times as many sheep as there are people. Australia also boasts the lowest record for sexual assault on women"

FACT this post didn't surprise me at all.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 04 July, 2003, 07:12:19 pm
Fact: The resident population and visitors to Yorkshire Spa town, Harrogate, is now made up of so many pensioners that the local council has started making bi-focal shop windows.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 04 July, 2003, 07:15:06 pm
FACT We recently launched an appeal to help a little girl who desperately needed a transplant. On the first day we received two calls.

FACT This week we had to miss out the crossword because the compiler's notes were unreadable and he's gone on holiday.
It's 1pm and we've just taken our 30th call about it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 05 July, 2003, 12:35:28 am
Queen Victoria was the first person to use chloroform to numb the trauma of childbirth. Her husband Albert was the first person to use it to numb the trauma of conception.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 05 July, 2003, 01:09:03 am
Thats very depressing longman.. however FACT; tomorrow is the day of the areas Fire Brigades raft race, where most of the money raised is  going to help a lassie from the area who was burnt nastily on a camping thing in cornwall. This single cause, rather than the usual spliting of the sponsor money, is raising loads of enthusiasm. I shall be down the pub later with my sponsor form to see how enthusiastic people can be. heh heh.

we're only in it for the nobel cause of course, we are not hell bent on trashing the other firebrigades & re-claiming the trophy. oh no.
watch this space.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 05 July, 2003, 02:08:41 am
A mule slippper and a tub of Vim are the only tools required to summon a demon from the 7th circle of hell.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 05 July, 2003, 05:16:10 am
George Lucas's beard will be playing the part of a young Chewbacca, in the next star wars film.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 06 July, 2003, 01:18:01 am
The fiddler crab is so called because it claims benefit whilst working.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 06 July, 2003, 04:51:52 am
The 1953 London-to-Brighton film Genevieve is based on the second treatment of the movie's script. The first treatment finally made it's way onto the silver screen in 1975 as Death Race 2000.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 06 July, 2003, 01:19:15 pm
FACT
with the passing of Barry white.
a nod to him and his abilitys.

he was FAT B*****D who most women would normally not even glance upon.
but when he spoke and sang no matter how unobtainable they liked to think where every female became putty in his hands. i witnessed this in the late 80s when he played the albert hall.
thousands of women of all ages willing to pledge themselves to him by the second set of the gig.

and lets not forget how many of us by proxy have enjoyed this abiltiy. hands in the air if you do not have a barry white cd tucked away somewhere, left from your days as young single male.?

umm not to many hands are there.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 06 July, 2003, 01:25:50 pm
FACT
the lengh of a nano second is not easily understood by mere mortals. as a point of reference for the rest of us it the lengh of time between parcel force ringing your doorbell and them leaving the card stateing
we called you where out , please pick up from the nearest post office.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 06 July, 2003, 04:59:13 pm
FACT!
'If every fourth animal in the world is a beetle,perhaps every fourth person is a DUMB F*CK.'
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 07 July, 2003, 01:25:54 am
Spiders manage to avoid sticking to their own webs through the use of miniature ninja shoes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 07 July, 2003, 10:59:47 am
FACT
the lastest tourist attraction in the UK the cornwall eden project was not built by local contractors at all.
it is in fact an alien space ship, collecting plant samples for research.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 08 July, 2003, 01:38:41 am
Jeremy Beadle, the infamous TV prankster from "Game For A Laugh" and "Beadle?s About" used the shows format to get revenge on all the people who ever made fun of his little hand.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 09 July, 2003, 12:52:00 am
Dogs and crocodiles are colour blind, and so are exempt from having to buy a colour TV licence.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 09 July, 2003, 05:35:03 am
ninja shoes my arse, i'm sure theres a really groovy reason why they don't stick, i just can't remember it.

FACT; not every fourth beetle is a dumb f**k, only every 10th, hence proving that beetles have in fact evolved to be superior to humans. This has hitherto not been discovered due to their apparent lack of interest in comics.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 July, 2003, 08:44:19 am
FACT
you should not spend your life on a golf course.
playing two rounds a day is enough for anyone.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 09 July, 2003, 03:00:20 pm

FACT; not every fourth beetle is a dumb f**k,

Not sure about that 'fact' Bou - you're forgetting that...

FACT:
The forth Beatle was Ringo Starr.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 09 July, 2003, 03:21:26 pm
"i'm sure theres a really groovy reason why they don't stick,"

FACT!
Spiders don't stick to their own webs because the sticky stuff doesn't coat the whole web,but is placed as droplets in itervals which correspond to the spiders stride-ie with every movement,their legs are placed between the sticky blobs.An that's a fact!

Fact#2
When the who hits the what and you've run out of luck your all,in a word
Stuck.
F*ck.

Mikey.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 10 July, 2003, 04:08:37 am
Jeremy Irons real name is Jeremy Truff. He was given the name Irons by his roommates at RADA because he insisted on ironing their socks and pants for them.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 11 July, 2003, 03:47:04 pm
FACT: The "Get Fact!" thread is in danger of being out-dated by Floyd's "Help Mitsuko!!!!" thread.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 11 July, 2003, 03:51:16 pm
So long as there is the potential for prizes, this thread will NEVER die! And that's a FACT!!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 11 July, 2003, 04:10:39 pm
FACT: On the message board the "Help Mitsuko!!!!" thread reads as "Help square-square-square-square..." yet when I cut & pasted it into that last FACT of mine, it came up as Misuko!!!!.  Weird.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 15 July, 2003, 02:41:35 am
Nobody has posted here for days! What's going on??

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 July, 2003, 04:24:45 am
Fact;
if one doesnt post for days or read the board all these newbies appear and huge interesting threads evolve & die, never noticing whether you were there or not. hence once again putting darwinism into question, hmmm ?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 15 July, 2003, 02:47:29 pm
FACT: Karne hasn't posted anything to the board since 9 Jul 03 at 22:08 with his FACT about Jeremy Irons.

Where is he?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 15 July, 2003, 03:44:01 pm
FACT: Politics is derived from two words - poly, meaning many, and tics, meaning small blood-sucking insects.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 15 July, 2003, 04:50:29 pm
FACT: The apparently sticky strips on the back of Post It notes are not covered in glue.

The adhesion is caused by millions of microscopic 'necrotising fleshitis' bacteria that are actually trying to eat the surface they are put up against. Hence why you should never, ever put Post It notes on your skin - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 16 July, 2003, 02:09:22 am
"millions of microscopic 'necrotising fleshitis' bacteria that are actually trying to eat the surface they are put up against"

This is certainly true, as I have discovered at work, all I cna hope is that poor Mr Juniad didn't really want his ?1million mortgage after all. :S
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 16 July, 2003, 07:13:13 pm
Fact: This is an old joke:

"My girlfriend has recently mislaid her contraceptive pills.  I'm not so worried about getting pregnant, it's more that she can't tell what day of the week it is."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 16 July, 2003, 07:40:45 pm
FACT: The continental plates of Europe and North America are drifting apart at the same speed a human finger nail grows.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Smiley on 16 July, 2003, 07:41:35 pm
FACT: Satan knows the contents of your shopping trolley.


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 16 July, 2003, 07:46:15 pm
FACT: RAC's fact about horses came from the Times "questions answered" section a few days ago and was debunked today - I know cos I just read it while eating a baked tater with cheese and tuna (mmmmmmm). In fact, there is no rule about horse statues becuase it is too hard to make them rear - most rearing statues use a tail as a counterbalance and are expensive to make.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 16 July, 2003, 08:56:54 pm
FACT: RAC's fact about horses ACTUALLY came from a site called amusingfacts.com.

But, in light of Dr. X's fact, they are neither facts or amusing.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 16 July, 2003, 09:27:29 pm
FACT: That's what I get for being a smart-arse

FACT: The "Questions Answered" bit of the times is the only bit of the Times I read

FACT: Well, apart from the Sports pages

FACT: And even then only because some bugger always gets the office copy of the Herald before me.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 17 July, 2003, 12:20:09 am
Fact: Karne is not here, at the moment.

Supposition: Karne is on Holiday: Any guesses as to where?

I'll go for either Barcelona, or the Trout has come to collect his OTE back and Karne is behind the setee.

Hopefully he will be back soon and we can find out!

Rotts
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 17 July, 2003, 02:53:00 pm
FACT: my brother's in Barcelona at the moment.
I'd ask him if he's seen Karne, but I don't want to interrupt the honeymoon.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 17 July, 2003, 03:16:21 pm
I would like to confirm that neither I, nor any member of my family, is, at this moment, in Barcelona. FACT

Supplementary fact: We're not in New York either.

Extra supplementary fact: Nor are we in San Jose. Because we don't know the way.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 17 July, 2003, 06:55:54 pm
FACT: I'm only twenty four hours from Tulsa.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 17 July, 2003, 09:33:50 pm
"FACT: I'm only twenty four hours from Tulsa"

Aah, but since you can fly more than half way around the world in less than a day, it could mean you live anywhere.

The question is - does Tulsa have an international airport?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 17 July, 2003, 10:03:16 pm
Fact one: Gareth Gates was arrested today for drink-driving.

Fact two: He's unlikely to finish his sentence.

Ayethankyew

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 17 July, 2003, 10:05:43 pm
Fact: Karne wasn't in Havana when I was there.
Fact: you can fly anywhere in the world but it doesn't mean you can land safely.
Che Huffy B-)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 17 July, 2003, 10:38:11 pm
"Fact: Karne wasn't in Havana when I was there."

Yeah, but I'm sure he's 'havana' good time!

EH! EH! EH??
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: NikolaiDante on 18 July, 2003, 08:25:05 am
FACT! Any landing you can walk away from was a good landing.

Dante
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 July, 2003, 04:54:27 pm
FACT: Contrary to popular belief, chipmonks aren't actually rodents, but tiny little clerics made from potato.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 18 July, 2003, 07:00:06 pm
FACT! Jeremy Beadle has a tiny penis.

But, on the other hand, it looks huge.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 18 July, 2003, 07:35:20 pm
FACT
every man should select potentail lovers by the there hand size. '

its a given all females tell their cohorts everything. as such dating a women with small hands will get you all knowing smiles when you meet her friends for the first time.
perception is the essence of reality as they know it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 18 July, 2003, 07:38:20 pm
FACT
when travelling in certain parts of south east asia. the menu may offer certain dishes which make you think this establishment welcomes mans best friend.

the term BBQ DOG MEAT. is not a meal for lassie.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 July, 2003, 07:39:01 pm
FACT: The amount of ejaculate expelled by the average human male in his lifetime is enough to comfortably float a sperm whale.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 18 July, 2003, 07:48:39 pm
FACT
all computers are female.
this is easily proven one small mistake made whilst interacting with the PC., a long,long time ago. will be brought to your attention in the distant future.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 18 July, 2003, 07:59:54 pm
FACT:  There was a TV programme in the 1980s called KNOT' LANDING.  I used to walk away from it on a regular basis and hence disproved DANTE's FACT.


FACT: KING TROUT is indeed evil as can be seen by his mocking of the afflicted (even celebrities).

FACT: TIPLODOCUS only typed the above because he wished he'd thought of those jokes first.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 18 July, 2003, 08:03:45 pm
FACT: Gareth Gates and Jordon - Not very likely or feasible is it.

Mein Gut, can you imagine the offspring?!?!?

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 July, 2003, 08:24:06 pm
FACT: During pregnancy, Preeclampsia can be avoided by regularly using your thighs to pull the heads off whippets from approximately the 23rd week.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 21 July, 2003, 12:05:00 am
FACT: Spooge consists mainly of sugars, so bear this in mind the next time you go to make a cuppa and discover you've ran out of Silver Spoon.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 21 July, 2003, 08:19:29 pm
FACT: A bloke keeps calling me and singing 'Stand and Deliver' down the phone. I keep telling him that he has got the wrong number but he is adamant.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 21 July, 2003, 09:30:31 pm
FACT: The Specials 'Ghost Town' was a tribute to Scooby-Doo.


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 21 July, 2003, 10:16:07 pm
FACT: There's only so many times that a Cov Uni student can take the 'sent to Coventry' joke before going postal.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 21 July, 2003, 10:56:40 pm
Fact: If you've just moved to the countryside, it's a bad idea to have the Deliverance theme tune as your mobile ringtone.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 22 July, 2003, 04:39:22 am
aieeeeee  The Yanks use crappy rock music in their seige tactics but the Evil Trout evokes the deliverance tune on a regular basis as a means of suppressing us lot.. argh after me..

fact: he is evil
diddle de dum dum dum dum dum diddle dum dum dum dum duuumm

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 22 July, 2003, 04:46:19 am
FACT: a trout, roasted with a sprig of lemon thyme up its arse, makes a delicious meal, accompanied by new potatoes and asparagus.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 22 July, 2003, 03:35:03 pm
FACT : there is only so many times a Postal worker can hear the term 'Going Postal'before doing it.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 22 July, 2003, 03:54:41 pm
FACT : there is only so many times that a journalist can hear the phrase 'Get off my door step, you f*cking vulture' before gutting their editor like a fish.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 July, 2003, 04:08:40 pm
Fact (true one)
singapore has now lowered the ban on chewing gum
you can buy it in a chemists. who will record you ID number and address for records, as is the case for all serious drugs and prohibited substances.

(im not joking either)

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 22 July, 2003, 04:20:02 pm
So it really IS a case of 'Big Brother is watching chew'!

heh heh heh heh

Oh dear, quite amused myself there ...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 22 July, 2003, 04:21:07 pm
FACT: Saying "Get off my door step, you f*cking vulture" t a journalist is a bad idea. He'll just work out some way to make your life hell.

FACT: I wish my editor was a fish.

FACT: We're coming up for the 700 mark here.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 22 July, 2003, 04:23:02 pm
Fact: If celebrated comics writer Alan Moore was to get a shave and a haircut, he'd be only four foot three.

Did I get the 700th post?

And is it cheating to use consecutive posts?

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 22 July, 2003, 04:23:17 pm
FACT: We're coming up for the 700 mark here

We are indeed.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 22 July, 2003, 04:26:19 pm
You cheating b*stard fish! There's someone sat in our reception who I should be interviewing and they've been down their ten minutes longer than they should because I was waiting for the b*stard 700th post!!

Journalists. Ya can't bloody trust em!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 23 July, 2003, 02:49:26 pm
FACT!
The early bird catches the worm,but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Pyroxian on 23 July, 2003, 06:01:10 pm
FACT: Eagles may soar - but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: test 4 echo on 23 July, 2003, 06:09:19 pm
FACT: Eagles may soar - but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...

weasels dont, but...

Fact: idiot ground crew gets the ultimate blow job.

Link: look for the "jet suck"one

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 23 July, 2003, 06:26:08 pm
FACT
this link is truly a sick and depraved one full of totally mind boggling clips of the lowest form  of humour.

many thanks for offering me a enough emails attachments to make me king of the internal mail system for the coming month.

:~)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: test 4 echo on 23 July, 2003, 06:36:33 pm
it was the "numb nuts" one that had me rolling on the floor, but then i guess i have always been a bit weird.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 23 July, 2003, 07:44:36 pm
FACT: Longmanshort is a poor loser, but, having kept people waiting for ten extra minutes for no good reason, he is clearly an excellent journalist! Treat 'em like sh*te, LMS!

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 26 July, 2003, 05:03:11 am
Did they ever find out who the supid, young lady being hit by the train was?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 30 July, 2003, 04:12:05 pm
FACT
studies have proved that the preffered sexaul method for married couples is the doggy style.

The husband sits up and begs the wife turns over and plays dead.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 30 July, 2003, 04:15:06 pm
FACT: Karne has been kidnapped by an obscure sect devoted to pranks and idiocy.

They keep him chained up in a basement and force him to be milked daily, to extract his bizarre humour.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tu-plang on 30 July, 2003, 08:04:46 pm
FACT: It is not commonly known, but humans evolved from rabbits.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 31 July, 2003, 04:27:33 pm
FACT
the statue of liberty is actaully a huge piggy bank. in which non resident people who wished to live in america where supposed to place money to help manhattan island with the cost of housing them.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 August, 2003, 05:09:02 pm
It's AUGUST!  It's time for this month's "Chef's Tip"


"Barbecues don't have to mean charcoaled steaks and cremated sausages!  Make brochettes of aubergine, courgette and peppers and marinate in olive oil mixed with garlic, lemon thyme or purple basil.  Then cook over the flames till the edges blacken."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: test 4 echo on 01 August, 2003, 07:44:54 pm
whats a brochette? Aubergine? Olive oil?

fact: its not a BBQ unless some small animal lies bleeding to death over an enormous furnace, started with petrol syphioned straight from the bike, leaving every living thing in the surrounding area choking in the black smoke.
and you need beer too.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 03 August, 2003, 06:01:37 pm
Fact
Gold fish are legal currency amongst the  nomadic bedowin tribes of the sahara desert.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Floyd-the-k on 03 August, 2003, 06:04:47 pm
Fact; fermented soya beans slime can stretch more than 3 metres

Fact; yuk!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 04 August, 2003, 09:41:33 pm
FACT (true?): panama hats come from Ecuador

FACT (true?): camel hair brushes were originally made from squirrel hair
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 04 August, 2003, 11:24:07 pm
Fact: just before dawn on 9 January 1744 James Stuart's son Charles Edward Stuart left his house in Rome on the pretence of going boar hunting North of the city at Cisterna. This was to throw English spies of the scent, he was in fact nipping out for ten Regal, a box of matches and the Daily Record.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 07 August, 2003, 11:47:45 pm
We've just had a fire alarm at work and THREE fire engines arrived.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 08 August, 2003, 12:03:17 am
Tips, they have to send three fire engines to anywhere which is a workplace or residential building.

It's called a predetermined turnout. It's policy.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 08 August, 2003, 06:01:24 pm
Fact: your company will get charged for that.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 08 August, 2003, 11:09:04 pm
FACT:  Charged quite a lot of money as well.  I once organised a juggler to appear at someones 21 years at ICL celebrations in Manchester and when he whipped out his burning juggling things, the site manager just about jumped down my throat in case he set off the fire alarms...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 09 August, 2003, 04:27:13 am
Fact: that Trout one might think he's the 'ALL Haily' one, but I am the authoritaay on fire preceddure around here! pfffff. pah. bah.

Bravo division Bou over & out.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 10 August, 2003, 06:56:50 am
Pressing your eyes with your thumbs, is cheaper than buying a kaleidoscope.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 12 August, 2003, 08:05:07 am
FACT #1: This thread appears to be running out of steam.

FACT #2: There are definitely more than 726 FACTs in existence today.

FACT #3: Must buy an encyclopaedia...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 12 August, 2003, 04:51:21 pm
fact
corn plasters
are made of cotton wool.
they are not the vegetarain first aid bandage which most of the worlds population believes them to be.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 14 August, 2003, 06:26:50 pm
FACT
during the upcoming rugby world cup each country will be allowed to offer its own ritual warm up. in the style traditionally offered by the all blacks.

Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion
following representations from the RSPCA.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 16 August, 2003, 02:29:27 pm
fact
Karnes humour and ability to interject amusing threads is notable in its absence.

post a fact and keep the candle burning for the blue meanie.until his return.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 19 August, 2003, 08:24:08 am
FACT
water, oil , petrol.
your car needs all three.

this fact is posted for our female boarders.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 19 August, 2003, 08:04:26 pm
Cars need:

Insurance, tax, MOT.


NOTE: Not all cars need petrol.  Some need diesel instead.  DON'T PUT PETROL IN A DIESEL ENGINE.

Cars are greatly improved when they have:
A starter-motor that works.  If it doesn't, try hitting it with a hammer while someone turns the ignition key (this does work, most of the time, not 100%)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 19 August, 2003, 11:05:33 pm
FACT: Most internet helpline customers should be put to sleep.

With a bat.

With a nail in it.

Extra special bonus FACT: I'm having a bad day at work, and I've just sopken to a particularly special customer...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 19 August, 2003, 11:07:55 pm
And...

B
old off.

Dammit, that didn't help my day...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 19 August, 2003, 11:09:36 pm
FACT: There's no such word as "sopken".

"Spoken"'s OK, though...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 21 August, 2003, 04:21:34 am
FACT: In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter".

Where, oh where have all the FACTs gone?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 22 August, 2003, 05:42:41 pm
Fact!
Picking your feet till they bleed is only the half of it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 September, 2003, 06:46:45 pm
September is here: Chef?s Tip of the month time:-

At this time of year wild mushrooms make a rare appearance for a few short weeks.  Appreciate the subtle flavour and keep it simple - just saut? in a little butter.  But remember that some cook faster then others, so heat each type seperately to retain the shape and texture.


NB. I don?t recommend this one though, because mushrooms are like gross. Yeach, fungus!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 01 September, 2003, 06:50:06 pm
Fact: Farts should never be lumpy.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 September, 2003, 07:17:01 pm
O dear, you've made me start wondering...


If you could 'catch' a fart (gas) - and then cool it down sufficiantly, could you then create a liquid - or even a solid - state fart?

Any physics students out there?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 01 September, 2003, 08:50:07 pm
Oddboy, I believe some of the planets in our solar system are made of frozen methane i.e. solidified "fart gas", amongst other supercool gases.  (I realize this is astrophysics of the Starlord Space Calculator school but what the hey...I also now realize that it looks like I'm saying frozen fart gas is supercool)

Zeep
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 02 September, 2003, 12:16:55 am
Those last three posts illustrate perfectly why I fucking love this place!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 02 September, 2003, 02:56:05 am
"water, oil , petrol.
your car needs all three.

this fact is posted for our female boarders."

whereas cutting a car into little ickle teeny pieces can be performed in under 30mins with an axe , cutting gear & stanley knife by one of the female boarders.

get back to the kitchen sink DD & watch your cheek.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 02 September, 2003, 05:00:30 am
Ginger haired people look weird.

Ginger haired people with glasses look even weirder.

Ginger haired people with glasses who are also called Chris Evens, should be shot.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: NikolaiDante on 02 September, 2003, 06:42:46 am
FACT:
Water is the only substance that gets LESS dense when it freezes.

Dante The Iceberg
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wake on 02 September, 2003, 07:16:42 pm
NOTE: Not all cars need water. The 2CV and original Land Rover are notable for their air cooled engines.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 02 September, 2003, 07:23:25 pm
Fact: The Get Fact thread is so insidious it draws in everyone sooner or later - even Wake...
:-)

Hurr, hurr...

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 05 September, 2003, 04:54:42 am
This site is getting very boring. If you arn't part of the 'click', then it's a waste of time.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 05 September, 2003, 05:02:56 am
Fact!
Mikey gets mighty annoyed when people say 'click'and not 'clique'AS IT BLOODY SHOULD BE!!
Bah...decline in standards..fume...bling bling my arse...mumble...bring back national service I say...rant...

So,Ratty-wanna hang in a new click?*erk!*

M.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Misanthrope on 05 September, 2003, 05:24:17 am
This site is getting very boring. If you arn't part of the 'clique', then it's a waste of time.

That better?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 05 September, 2003, 05:35:33 am
Replacement printer cartridges are so expensive you'd think it's cheaper to buy an entirely new printer - but the buggers only put a little bit of ink in the cartrdiges of new printers!


Graaaah!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 05 September, 2003, 03:02:54 pm
Fact!
It was nothing personal Ratty.'Click' *is* more rodenty.
Or should that be 'neek'?

Fact!
I haven't had enough sleep for the last 3 months and am unlikely to for the next month.

M.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 05 September, 2003, 04:38:46 pm
FACT: Old stylee VW Beetle also has air-cooled engine.

SUPPLEMENTARY FACT:  I have a rare day off work and can think of nothing more constuctive to do with my time than post FACTS here
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 05 September, 2003, 04:44:12 pm
"water, oil , petrol.
your car needs all three"

I believe I may have mentioned that you can run Diesel engines on vegetable oil, in fact I know someone who runs an old Merc estate on a mixture of diesel and veg oil.

FACT my last couple of FACTs are very boring and not in the spirit of the thread at all...
Brain collapsing...need thrill power....wurgh wuurgh wurble
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 05 September, 2003, 05:25:15 pm
FACT this is strange.
open a new word document.
type in as follows and hit enter.
= rand (200,99)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 05 September, 2003, 09:23:50 pm
DD-that is indeed odd.What's it all about then?


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 08 September, 2003, 09:54:55 pm
Jings! try that...
saves on the typing

Huffy
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 08 September, 2003, 10:48:43 pm
Fact: The faerie tree at Newmarket-in-Fergus, Co Clare, has recovered after a chainsaw attack in August last year. This, as we all know, was the rendezvous point for the Kerry faeries who were off to fight the Connacht faeries.

Fact: There is no french word for rendezvous.


Huffsta B-)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 September, 2003, 11:37:27 am
fact.(true one)
the name Wendy was created by the author of peter pan. he actaul made it up for the book.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 09 September, 2003, 04:34:12 pm
Fact - My mom's called Wendy & my dad's called Peter.

No, really.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 09 September, 2003, 04:37:02 pm
and you a big zenith fan, go on try it. go the window right now and jump out.
you may be very surprised.

its worth a try.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 09 September, 2003, 06:41:30 pm
Well if I don?t fly at least there isn?t far to fall, what with me working in the basement.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 19 September, 2003, 03:06:28 pm
FACT: Eriksson told Beckham he was going to pull him off at half time, and Beckham said "oh good, I usually only get an orange."

FACT: Scientists believe there is a genetic basis for personality (see last week's New Scientist)

FACT: In AUstralia, their up is our down. That being the case, how come NASA's spacecraft don't end up down under?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 19 September, 2003, 05:01:17 pm
Fact: Only geography teachers are more likely to have a moustache than your average 1970s footballer.

- Trout
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 19 September, 2003, 09:12:34 pm
'Fact: Only geography teachers are more likely to have a moustache than your average 1970s footballer.'

Nah, cause they are only half as likely to have one as a Sports / Games teacher.  Male and female of the species both included.

WoD
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 19 September, 2003, 10:01:35 pm
Fact: the DvD game is now due to be released on my boys 11 month aniversary of his birth date.  Is that a sign to buy the game or what!

Actually feels like a sign to buy an Xbox and a copy of the game, but now I need back up to persuade Mrs WoD.  Any chance of a petition from the boarders?

WoD
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Pyroxian on 19 September, 2003, 10:13:24 pm
Yes you should buy it, and get Halo, Timesplitters 2 and Knights of the Old Republic while you're at it to.

And a Gamecube for all the other good games ;)

    Steve
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 20 September, 2003, 04:59:13 pm
FACT
Actually feels like a sign to buy an Xbox and a copy of the game.

any good father must plan for his sons future. moments of bonding are important steps in this process.
play = bonding. UK = RAIN. XBOX = play/bonding/no worry about rain.
every good parent should consider an XBOX as important as sterlizing equipment and breastfeeding(for baby not daddy).
you are a good parent. you want to be the best possible parent.
(devons mummy only stayed annoyed for three days after the purchase of our XBOX) since then she has not used it. which is a good thing, only dont tell her this.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 20 September, 2003, 05:01:15 pm
FACT
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an enligsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is
taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

someone tell wake we no longer need the spell check on this board.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 22 September, 2003, 03:52:11 pm
Fact: I'm now living my life vicariously through others... After weeks of gentle persuasion the office monkey as bought an Xbox and I am now required to help him play through Halo.  I'm still working on him getting KOTOR.

Also, It is mine and Mrs WoD anniversary today, so I'm expecting a big boxed pressie when I get home.  Although I know it's gonna be nappies I can always hope it will be chips!

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 22 September, 2003, 04:02:10 pm
FACT
HALO
more evidence if any was needed that bill gates and MSN are in fact the devil themselves.
it suck you in and will stop your socail life and interaction with others who have no idea what your talking about.

buts its worth every moment of it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 22 September, 2003, 04:50:19 pm
FACT
You can waste an entire weekend playing with a double-ender...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 22 September, 2003, 04:51:08 pm
...Lightsaber.
Ahem.
JEDI FACT
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 01 October, 2003, 03:41:56 pm
It's October...time for October's Chef's Tip:

As winter creeps closer, seasonal berries make comforting pies and crumbles. Don't wash them under running water as they're fragile things and likely to break up and lose their flavour. Instead soak in still water for a minute or two before gently lifting out and standing on absorbent paper to dry.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 01 October, 2003, 04:39:55 pm
In addition to OB's tip...

If you've picked the berries yourself then add a little salt to the water as it will 'encourage' any grubs or bugs to leave the berries.  Then simply soak again in fresh water to remove any salt residue.

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 01 October, 2003, 05:20:14 pm
But don't discard those grubs!  Insects are a source of high-quality protein and nutrients such as iron, calcium and B vitamins.
To make an invertebrate cocktail, consider some or all of the following:
Earthworms - 70% protein and soaking them in water overnight will purge them of soil.
Ants - have a vinegary taste and their juice can be used instead of lemon juice
Moths - said to taste like almonds
Termites - one of the most commonly eaten insects (in Nigeria you can buy termite stock cubes)
Fly larvae (maggots) - rich in calories and protein. Wash in cold water, boil and they're ready to eat.
Crickets - 100g of crickets contains 12g of protein and only 5.5g of fat.
Woodlice - taste like shrimp and are particularly excellent in a quiche
Honey bees - a worldwide favourite, edible at all stages of growth.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 01 October, 2003, 05:29:40 pm
"Ants - have a vinegary taste and their juice can be used instead of lemon juice"

FACT!
Er,the 'vinegary taste' you refer to is formic acid.No ta,this stuff is nasty!It's actually used to inactivate the prion protein responsible for TSEs,rendering potentially infectious material safer to handle.My God!An actual fact!
(Acetic acid is vinegary FYI)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 01 October, 2003, 05:42:47 pm
Dudley - Are you scraping out a living on a student budget or in training for the inevitable end of the world situation that PVS is working on?

PS - How many of these, if any, have you tasted?
I think I could go for most of them, at a push, but the ants sound a little risky.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 01 October, 2003, 05:49:10 pm
Not a one of these have I tasted - being a good vegetarian since I were but a lad of 13.  No, all this helpful advice is to be gleaned from the BBC's website - except the bit about woodlice, which I saw Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall enthusiastically chowing down on once.

The bit about formica acid, though - isn't it all a question of dilution?  Fact search challenge: how many wood ant stings would it take to kill a man?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 01 October, 2003, 05:55:03 pm
Well that would depend; African or European Wood Ant?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 01 October, 2003, 06:15:03 pm
Oh, European, definitely.  I'm more likely to fall in one of their nests.

But if you want it rephrased, how much formica acid does it take to kill a man?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 01 October, 2003, 10:05:31 pm
'vinegary taste' you refer to is formic acid ........Acetic acid is vinegary

In fact acetic acid and formic acid are the same thing and this is in fact there old "trivial" name.
This leads me onto a FACT and it's even a true FACT
Acetic acid and formic acid are know known as ETHANOIC ACID and this is in fact vinegar.  Vinegar is a solution of approx 5% ethanoic acid diluted with water.  It has the formula CH3COOH and a RAM of 60AMU and is a member of the homologus series carboxylic acids.

This FACT was sponsored by "The Royal Society of Chemistry"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mudcrab on 01 October, 2003, 10:17:39 pm
FACT: This is my first post on this thread!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mudcrab on 01 October, 2003, 10:19:20 pm
Umm, proper FACT (well, perhaps more like supposition, but anyway):

Link: Men are misunderstood

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 03 October, 2003, 04:10:12 pm
FACT!
I'll never post a FACT! about chemistry again,all queries to DC it would seem.Top fact Demon,it's a shame yer a chemist! ;p
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 03 October, 2003, 04:38:09 pm
FACT: I got it wrong on the "Iraq Survey Group" Thread".  They found botulin in Iraq!

(Admittedly just one small vial, hidden under a piece of paper, weak enough that it might well have been intended for Saddam's forehead wrinkles, but still...BOTULIN!)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 06 October, 2003, 07:49:44 pm
FACT: Trout's evil Worst Thread Ever will never replace this as the longest-running thread ever.  Ever.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 06 October, 2003, 09:13:14 pm
Fact The underware thread is worth a rummage.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 25 October, 2003, 09:03:51 am
FACT: Each inch taller you grow in height is worth an average of $789 in per annum earnings, a recent study has found.  Proving that taller people earn more in all walks of life, the statisticians speculated that height is linked to perceived ability and confidence.

Link: Rejoice, shorties, it's not your fault!

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 03 November, 2003, 07:26:44 pm
November's Chef's Tip:

"Pumpkin;s brilliant colour livens up any dish, but by November it's already hard to find. For most pumpkin recipes squashes provide the perfect alternative. Try peeling, cutting into chunky cubes and roasting with a little olive oil to bring out the flavour before mixing into soups or stews."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mudcrab on 03 November, 2003, 10:40:29 pm
FACT: Territorial occupations/annexations not recognized by the United States Government are not shown on US Government maps.

Link: Fast Facts!

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: petemaskreplica on 09 November, 2003, 08:23:01 am
FACT: no-one has yet managed to dominate the entire board...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 04 December, 2003, 03:12:20 pm
December's Chef's Tip:

If you like potatoes roasted why limit yourself to the humble spud?  Any root vegetable - red onions, sweet potato, swede, turnips and carrots - can be roasted in chunks with olive oil and fresh herbs such as rosemary, sage and thyme [and Synnamon?].  Perfect for a Sunday roast and an easy accompaniment to midweek meals.


Thus ends my works 'Flavour of the Month' 2003 calendar.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 04 December, 2003, 03:40:14 pm
FACT
this is one of our greastest threads,


to the orignal poster of this thread.should you ever lurk. merry christmas Karne. you are missed.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 04 December, 2003, 06:13:38 pm
Hear, hear! Splendid chap.
Have a good Xmas, blue meanie guy!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 18 December, 2003, 03:42:25 pm
FACT:

Ladies, are you concerned about the state of your crops? Do you wish those pesky cattle would stop trampling your maize with their nasty old hooves?
Well, why not try the Cameroonian approach? The good women of north-western Cameroon have finally called off their highly successful two-month sex strike, in which a quite staggering 6,000 women refused to have sex with their partners until they did something about the destruction of crops by those goddamn stomping cattle.
Which they did, unsurprisingly. It works every time, the fools.

(reported in today's Guardian)

...Dudley
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 18 December, 2003, 09:19:09 pm
FACT: I had a great 'fact' for this thread; but then promptly forgot what it was.  Similarly, I can never remember any script idea that I have in bed when I wake the following morning, no matter how simple (or seemingly good) the bloody thing was.

Ahh well.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 December, 2003, 09:43:25 pm
FACT: The First man in space *wasn't* Yuri Gagagrin but Archie Bletherstrop, a factory worker from Wolverhampton. Space flight was achieved in 1953 during an accident involving a gas-powered welding torch and a half eaten luncheon meat sandwich.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 December, 2003, 09:44:14 pm
FACT: Iggy Pop owns over 32,000 shirts. Sadly, due to an unfortunate incident in 1972, he now cannot bring himself to wear any of them as he has developed shirtophobia.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 December, 2003, 09:44:42 pm
FACT: Cheese is asexual and can reproduce with itself if left overnight with a bottle of Blue Nun and a Barry White CD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Wils on 18 December, 2003, 09:45:41 pm
FACT: This is the 800th post.

Do I get a prize?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 18 December, 2003, 10:04:55 pm
No, because you blatently cheated.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 18 December, 2003, 11:00:00 pm
Naughty, naughty Wils.....back in your box, no more fish-heads till New Year for you....

Therefore,....
I claim my no-prize for the nearest to, but not over, the 800th posting without 'cheating' (heh! sorry OB, but it's worth a try).

WoD.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 23 December, 2003, 02:45:15 pm
FACT
bannanas are the most commonly eaten whole fruit (non processed to drinks etc)on the planet.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: stront692 on 23 December, 2003, 05:54:06 pm
FACT the eiffel tower is roughly 6 inches taller in summer than in winter ???
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 23 December, 2003, 08:33:25 pm
FACT: The statue of liberty was made my Monsiuer Eiffel. But he DIDN'T make any cakes. (or is that eccles cakes I'm thinking of?)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 December, 2003, 11:12:24 am
FACT (true one)
Jammie dodgers the greastest bisciut in the history of creation.
is billed as being filled with raspberry jam
but
the filling is actaully made of PLUMS and assorted chemicals as raspberry fruit does not offer the level of adhesive texture wanted for this wonder of confectionary.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Woolly on 30 December, 2003, 05:50:52 pm
FACT: 'Chesney Hawkes' is an anagram of 'He's cheesy wank!'
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 16 January, 2004, 06:55:31 pm
There is something called The Krustabi Process which apparently "turns clips into jelly"


(follow the link, go down to the section marked "Exotic")

Link: http://frak.com/pixxy.html

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: hyper_vyper on 10 February, 2004, 03:49:20 am
If FACT stands for Federation Against Copyright Theft, then what does the GET stand for?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 10 February, 2004, 07:27:13 am
FACT
football fields are not standard in size
(thats true)
even in the premier league in the uk they can vary by up to 2 meteres in width between the differnt clubs grounds.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: BlackThrash on 10 February, 2004, 07:32:16 am
FACT
DD just brought something very important to our attention
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 10 February, 2004, 02:51:42 pm
Probably true - That Supermarkets keep 'essentials' like bread and milk on a short use-by date to force us to go back to the shop before we really need to.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: stront692 on 10 February, 2004, 03:11:10 pm
FACT

red skittles are made from crushed beetles blood

heh
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 10 February, 2004, 03:19:24 pm
FACT

Blue smarties are meade from Smurf scrotums.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Monarch on 10 February, 2004, 04:50:39 pm
Fact black fruit pastils are made from....figure the rest out yourself
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 18 February, 2004, 07:41:16 pm
Stewardesses is the longest English word typed only with the left hand


Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 24 May, 2004, 04:31:46 pm
Fact: The makers of Troy (starring Mr Brad Pitt as Achilles) have built the world's first fully functioning time machine.

Evidence: The tagline is "For 2,900 years the story could only be imagined..."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 24 May, 2004, 07:41:52 pm
The Passion Fruit is the most of frigid plants to evolve in the past five years. Indeed, many specimens spurn the advances of bees and other associated pollen bearing insects so much that they grow into wizened likenesses of Germaine Greer.

FACT
Title: HI
Post by: Ricky on 25 May, 2004, 01:59:10 am
Why have you posted all these messages to your self!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: HI
Post by: Max Kon on 25 May, 2004, 03:12:36 am
fact: female breasts are brill
Title: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 25 May, 2004, 03:20:23 am
FACT:  Ricky has inadvertently changed the name of this thread from Get Fact! to HI.

Ricky mate you've probably clicked the "view messages by Karne" button by mistake, making the man's ramblings seem even more incomprehensible.  Sadly he's no longer posting here which is a shame.

FACT:  Capt. Zeep has re-renamed this thread "Get Fact!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 25 May, 2004, 03:32:44 am
Fact: Everytime this thread is ressurrected (sp?) I get a little thrill of anticipation that the big Blue Meanie may be back.

It's nice to see his influence linger after all this time.

Bolt-01
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Floyd-the-k on 25 May, 2004, 03:51:06 am
FACT: Tank Girrl looks a lot like her icon

FACT: It`s my birthday next tuesday. I`ll be 42
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 25 May, 2004, 10:38:01 pm
FACT: This thread generates more cross posting than any other.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 25 May, 2004, 11:14:33 pm
Fact: Everytime this thread is ressurrected (sp?) I get a little thrill of anticipation that the big Blue Meanie may be back.

It's nice to see his influence linger after all this time.


FACT: I couldn't agree more.
ANOTHER FACT: I believe that I was the last boarder to win a prize from the Great Man himself on this thread.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: House of Usher on 26 May, 2004, 04:26:40 pm
FACT: In the Dr. Who serial
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 26 May, 2004, 05:52:51 pm
In the Doctor Who serial what?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Krustabi on 26 May, 2004, 05:54:20 pm
FACT: Milton Keynes is built on a grid system
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: House of Usher on 26 May, 2004, 09:23:11 pm
Shit! My fact disappeared. Well, I can't be bothered to type it again...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: swavesey on 26 May, 2004, 09:59:47 pm
fact: dogs can't look up........
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 27 May, 2004, 08:52:06 am
Fact: Everytime this thread is ressurrected (sp?) I get a little thrill of anticipation that the big Blue Meanie may be back.

fact,Karne always missed here by those that enjoyed his humour.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 27 May, 2004, 01:58:16 pm
FACT
discovery cove orlando

for your familys day of fun and frolics with dolphins, please note you are only renting the dolphin for a few minutes not purchasing the said mammal.
you may make this simple error case when you see your credit card bill.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noah Angel on 24 June, 2004, 04:47:02 am
FACT: I've just won Al-Says-Pops Holy High-Explosive competition.

EGO-DEFLATING FACT: I appear to have been the only entrant.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Conexus on 24 June, 2004, 07:31:06 pm
FACT: If you cannot afford strobe lighting, just blink your eyes alot and very quickly- you get a similar result.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 24 June, 2004, 07:33:37 pm
FACT: Unfortunately, Noah outclassed all other possible entrants before they even started to think about it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noah Angel on 24 June, 2004, 11:40:49 pm
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 25 June, 2004, 09:04:22 pm
FACT: The UK is about to ban smacking.  So, parents, this is potentially your last chance: make the most of it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Conexus on 25 June, 2004, 09:11:50 pm
FACT: There is a young child who has a mutation that means his muscles grow quickly (I'm not making this up)

FACT: He has already had offers from both the X-men and Strontium Dogs for him to join their subversive mutant ranks (I made this one up though)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 26 June, 2004, 01:38:04 am
Fact: i don't know who karne is and why he left and would like someone to explain
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 26 June, 2004, 02:23:05 am
Karne was a blue meanie with a talent for comedy who used to post here way back when. Not sure why he left, though - personal reasons of one sort or another. Probably none of our business.

Have a look through his old posts for an idea of why he is fondly remembered.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: W. R. Logan on 26 June, 2004, 03:47:19 am
Fact.
My boss sold the company on Monday.
New Owners turned up Tuesday.
All staff told we're being made redundant on Wednesday.

La P45 Rifa,
W. R. Logan.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Floyd-the-k on 26 June, 2004, 04:12:29 am
Fact: that sucks Logan, sorry to hear it
Fact: it`s as hot as blazes here now
Fact; street numbers in Japan are allotted according to (a) who was in the street first (b) whoever liked a number and was willing to pay for it and (c)I don`t know what else but it`s pretty bloody random. Thank God I`m not a taxi driver
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 26 June, 2004, 07:31:00 pm
FACT: Logan, that's a pisser.  Hope they give you a decent package and you find something else soon.


FACT: Greece 1, France 0.  Just wanted it recorded for posterity.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 28 June, 2004, 10:43:21 am
FACT
tobey magiure the actor who plays spiderman
ate bnly flys and bugs for lunch each day whilst preparing for his role in the movie.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mercenary on 29 June, 2004, 09:03:13 am
Snake tastes like a cross between chicken and fish.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: critter on 29 June, 2004, 09:14:13 am
Snake tastes like a cross between chicken and fish.

Fact : Snake does, in reality, taste like snake. When a person eats something exotic (i.e. snake) the brain tells the body that it tastes like chicken.

Fact : This is first time I posted to this thread.

Critter
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 29 June, 2004, 02:56:09 pm
LEGAL FACT: If Logan's post is true then it is almost certain he can claim he has been unfairly dismissed. Speak to a lawyer!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: W. R. Logan on 29 June, 2004, 04:18:06 pm
>LEGAL FACT: If Logan's post is true then it is almost certain he can claim he has been unfairly dismissed. Speak to a lawyer!

We have and it seems as if all 96 staff are screwed. Unless we want to move to Blackpool.

La P45 Rifa,
W. R. Logan.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 29 June, 2004, 05:39:25 pm
That is a bastard, Logan!
Have you anything else lined up, or are you royally shat upon?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: W. R. Logan on 29 June, 2004, 06:00:27 pm
>Have you anything else lined up, or are you royally shat upon?

No & yes.

I also had the great job of being nominated by the drivers to be their rep at the initial meeting with the new owners. Then the next morning had the even better job of going to a meeting with the 27 drivers and saying do you want the good news or the bad?
The good news is that from July 23rd you wont have to work with any of the people that you dont like and always moan about, the bad news being you're all out of a job.
In fact just gettinmg ready to go to another meeting to find out how royally screwed we really are.

La Placa Rifa,
W. R. Logan.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: xosmoochibabeox on 14 July, 2004, 07:18:32 am
U r sooo right! People should know that Snap, Crackle, and Pop are three brothers, Snap the oldest, fun and good natured, Crackle the middle good natured fun middle child who loves to play jokes on Snap, and Pop, the youngest, who is lovable with a likable personality, and funny.  They are good guys who love to have a good time and go out there and have fun! For more information, go to my site that will fully exist in 1 week (www.obsessedwithsnapcracklenpop.com)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 14 July, 2004, 05:16:14 pm
FACT: That has to be the longest alias I've ever seen.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 15 July, 2004, 04:31:13 pm
FACT:
This thread is so full, it's chucking people out to other threads.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 15 July, 2004, 10:19:45 pm
FACT: No it's not.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 16 July, 2004, 09:45:25 am
fact: wouldn't it be mean to buy that guy's site url?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 16 July, 2004, 03:10:15 pm
What's that Max?  Buy a URL very like his?  And maybe putting a message up calling him a Tw*t or something similar?  Yes, that would be mean indeed.  And in no way funny.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 16 July, 2004, 04:57:48 pm
FACT: due to some new web thingumy here at work, I have been endowed with the uncanny ability to use the Internet.

What do I do with my new found power? Tell you lot of course!

Bolt-01
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 16 July, 2004, 06:29:22 pm
he hasn't bought his yet. so one buys the url that he has plugged.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 06 October, 2004, 09:20:03 pm
FACT: This is Resurrect Old Threads Week.

FACT: George Bush only ever smokes half his cigarettes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Capt.Zeep on 06 October, 2004, 11:21:12 pm
FACT: Sixties pop-star Manfred Mann had a dog called Dogfred Dog.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 15 October, 2004, 05:16:08 pm
FACT: Oranges are not the only fruit ... there are succulent lesbians as well ...


What?!

It's a slow day, alright?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 15 October, 2004, 06:04:19 pm
FACT
the starter of this thread. must lurk now and then.
your icon is missed in this part of the web.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 15 October, 2004, 06:47:57 pm
FACT: tomorrow's headline will be "Not Much Happens In Harrogate".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 15 October, 2004, 06:54:15 pm
FACT: Today's Harrogate Advertiser headlines:

* Bilton man, 64, charged with rape (the bright spark decided to rape a woman who lived round the corner and wonders why he got caught)
* Gangs 'linked to fireworks' (gangs stealing fireworks from 'secure' police lockups, selling them to kids and using the money for crime)
* Tutor admits child porn charges (1,700 images on his computer and his solicitor says he shouldn't be sent to Crown Court because he's 'of good character')
* Police launch new war on heorin problem
* Delay hits Trust big by Harrogate hospital

and to finish this page of doom and gloom:

* Tea on the lawn anyone?

I hate my job ...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 19 October, 2004, 10:46:24 am
fact; it's fecking frezzing in here
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Conexus on 19 October, 2004, 05:41:08 pm
FACT: Following on from Dud's (sorry, Futurequack's) advice, I've cleaned my tongue when I was cleaning my teeth, and my mouth feels a lot better
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 10 November, 2004, 06:52:08 pm
MONDAY, 13th DECEMBER 2004

THE HORSE & GROOM
128 GREAT PORTLAND STREET
LONDON W1W 6PX

FROM 5:30 P.M.

FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: LARF on 10 November, 2004, 06:58:24 pm
FACT: The best breakfast sausage in the whole of Ireland is served at the Clarence in Dublin.

Buuuuuuurp!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 11 November, 2004, 08:54:39 am
FACT
HALO 2
is going to make bill gates another billion dollars.
BUT this time he deserves our money.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 11 November, 2004, 10:08:33 am
Fact: only evil comes from necro posting. Stop it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: LARF on 11 November, 2004, 02:26:12 pm
Max - "Necro Posting", you make it sound all,  all...  dirty, Mmmm!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 11 November, 2004, 03:27:09 pm
This thread doesn't count as Necroposting - it is one of the 'Eternal Threads'
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 11 November, 2004, 03:38:17 pm
Our father Wake
Whose art is in Oxford
Halo'd be our Playstations
Thy board update come
Though Wils be glum
On the board as he isn't in a tavern
Give us this day our daily board fix
And forgive JEB his troll-baiting
As we forgive - and pity - those who argue against him
And lead us not onto other message boards
But deliver us from evil
So consign to the dustbin
The Spacegirls and BLAIR1
For ever and ever

A-spludig-men


FACT I'm gonna burn for that one ...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Matt Timson on 11 November, 2004, 05:24:18 pm
Shut up, Mulcher...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 11 November, 2004, 05:59:02 pm
Fact: I meant necroposting in general. It is fine on the eternal threads. And on threads that have fallen off the board but the latest message was under a week earlier.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 09 February, 2005, 08:00:20 pm
FACT: Max's lovelife is officially the most interesting topic raised on this messageboard in 2005 so far.

FACT: No 2000AD-related discussion has taken up more than 3 pages.

FACT: Otters use oyster shells as primitive tools in order to dig for buried treasure.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 09 February, 2005, 10:33:43 pm
FACT: Working for a living is overrated. Even by people who dislike it intensely.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 10 February, 2005, 12:15:05 am
Fact: dudley is right
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noah Angel on 10 February, 2005, 12:26:09 am
Oranges are definitely not the only fruit, and as far as I know, Lesbians are not the only women.

My mate ugly Tom reckons that all the women he's asked out turned him down because they're Lesbians. But that can't be true cos I got off with them all and I'm not a girl. Bizarre eh.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: raspberry reich on 10 February, 2005, 12:42:58 am
this is one mother fooking huge thread.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Shakara on 10 February, 2005, 02:07:57 am
Fact: Noah Angel has referenced ugly men in almost all his messages

...is he subconciously pointing at something?


...aside from his ugliness?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Demon Chicken on 10 February, 2005, 02:49:48 am
Fact: I wish Karne was still here spreading insanity.

Fact: Today is chinese new year!

Fact: Small children are actually minature demons.  All real human children are removed by hospitals and used to power secret fusion reactors that makes the earth sperical rather than it's natural flat shape.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: raspberry reich on 10 February, 2005, 02:59:37 am
fact: im related to one of the board members.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 10 February, 2005, 05:31:55 am
FACT:  The way that person X used to sort out a personal problem they were having will probabaly not work for person Y.  Because X and Y are different people.  And will probably have different personalities.  So you have to find a solution that matches your world view, not those of different people.  Buying and reading THE SEVEN HABITS OF EFFECTIVE TEENS (or EFFECTIVE PEOPLE, if you think you can handle the more growed up version) is a good place to start.  It doesn't offer any quick fixes or easy advice.  But it's great for helping you sort things out your way.

FACT: This isn't a reference to another seemingly interminable thread.

FACT: I'm lying.  I just didn't want to keep bumping the other one.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 10 February, 2005, 08:36:26 am
FACT
real one!
the inventor?patent owner at least, of the frisbee
was cremated upon his death and his ashes placed into a batch of resin from which top quality frissbees where made.then distubuted amongst the family members.
one was framed and hung in the board room of his company.
(yes he was a yank of course he was.)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 10 February, 2005, 08:41:51 am
FACT
real one again.

the world health organization. are stating that european males
(we all know they mean british!)
should bring condoms from europe when on holiday in the SE asia region.
as the locally avaible ones are of an unsiutable size (not big enough) for safe use.
ITS A FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 10 February, 2005, 03:53:52 pm
I wouldn't argue with that one DD.
The wife on the other hand, might have something to say...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Oddboy on 10 February, 2005, 04:00:34 pm
What do you mean by "real one"? Surely all the FACTS on this thread are real, them being FACTS after all.


FACT: ?930,000.00 is a lot of money.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noah Angel on 10 February, 2005, 05:56:18 pm
'Fact: Noah Angel has referenced ugly men in almost all his messages

...is he subconciously pointing at something?


...aside from his ugliness?
'


He! I only mentioned ugly men twice, but as this is the "Get Fact" thread and everything is completely true on it I'll have to admit my incredible ugliness and leave well alone ;)

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 10 February, 2005, 06:04:49 pm
Fact: Max knows what Tips is on about
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Conexus on 10 February, 2005, 07:04:21 pm
FACT:Vulcans are decended from crabs (Vulcans have blue blood, crabs have blue blood- my statement is perfectly logical)  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 07 March, 2005, 03:24:11 pm
FACT
Scientists have proven that if people whom are unable to spell try to write the words incorrectly they will actually have a statically higher chance of getting it correct.

(i believe the above post is proof this is true)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Carlsborg Expert. on 07 March, 2005, 05:43:41 pm
FACT:The writer of Gullivers Travels described the measurements of Mars' two moons exactly. This was long before they were descovered.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Funtwangle on 07 March, 2005, 05:45:24 pm
fact

on the internet noone can hear yuo scream

unless you have a sound card
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 09 March, 2005, 08:35:12 pm
FACT! Every time you necro post, a kitten dies ... oops ...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 09 March, 2005, 08:46:20 pm
There can't be that many kittens left now can there?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: doktor bee on 10 March, 2005, 12:40:54 pm
Fact : Jeremy Irons isnt a homosexual

Fact : Jeremy Irons is british
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: doktor bee on 10 March, 2005, 12:44:42 pm
Fact : Jeremy Irons has a twin brother he keeps in the cellar of his castle. HE let his twin out for a year to appear next to him in dead ringers. after filming he slaughtered him like a sheep.

fact: Jeremy Irons only appeared in D&D the movie so that he could build another room in his castle.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: doktor bee on 10 March, 2005, 01:33:00 pm
Fact : The more you try to ban something the more it grows
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 10 March, 2005, 05:08:10 pm
FACT: Some people just aren't as clever as they like to think they are...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: doktor bee on 10 March, 2005, 06:22:47 pm
Fact : i'm not as clever as i like to think i am
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Funtwangle on 10 March, 2005, 06:54:11 pm
fact
if you are in a room with french people and other europeans these days you cn tell them because they are the ones who dont stick of garlic
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: doktor bee on 10 March, 2005, 07:00:30 pm
funtwangle sir that is offensive they may stink of garlic but there is no need to point it out ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: House of Usher on 10 March, 2005, 07:31:44 pm
No, busy bee, you are missing the point. Funtwangle was presenting an example of irony, the humour of which in this case depends upon the confounding of expectations.

FACT: it is a misconception (though granted, by no means a common one, but one that was nevertheless presented as fact on a Channel 5 programme about cinema 'mistakes') that in the film Meet Me In St Louis, someone walks on set and calls out "Hi Judy!" to Judy Garland who is playing a character called Esther. In actual fact, Esther's suitor, John Truett, has just run for the trolley car and the voice from off camera is calling "Hi Johnny!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 30 April, 2005, 10:08:28 pm
FACT: Monkeyfish are among the most disgruntled species on the planet.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 April, 2005, 10:11:44 pm
Sweety the Chick and the Crazy Frog are the worst things ever invented.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 30 April, 2005, 11:13:07 pm
fact: only 93 more posts are needed for this to reach 1000 replies
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 21 May, 2005, 03:53:54 pm
Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 21 May, 2005, 05:17:29 pm
Fact:
I've just spent the morning reading through this entire thread!

I liked the bit in the middle where Bolt was having a fight with his wife.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Byron Virgo on 21 May, 2005, 07:32:28 pm
FACT: Polar Bears are left handed.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 21 May, 2005, 10:31:08 pm
Fact: It's pissing down & I've only got a suede jacket...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Max Kon on 22 May, 2005, 03:43:35 am
Fact: Rac must have been really bored this morning
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 05 September, 2005, 05:42:29 pm
FACT: Phillip Schofield (43) is a second cousin to both Kofi Annan (36) and Anne Robinson (39).  All three share a premature aging gene that will almost certainly result in their deaths before their 50th birthdays.  Interestingly, Cat Deeley (68) is also a relative, but lacks the deadly gene.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Conexus on 05 September, 2005, 07:20:38 pm
FACT: In front of a shop I saw a sign saying 'Please do not eat or drink' since then I have gone home and eaten some food, and drunk some drink, but have not as yet been apprehended by store security, if they are this lax on upholding their rules, next time i'm going to go there and steal some of their goods  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 06 September, 2005, 12:24:03 am
Fact! My mum went to the same school as Phillip Schofield.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 05 June, 2006, 10:07:20 pm
FACT: Atfer one saved his life in a drunken rock-climbing incident, George Lucas named one of the principal Star Wars characters after the humble Buddleia bush.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: scutfink on 05 June, 2006, 10:48:22 pm
Fact: The link from the main page to the message board is still missing.

scutfink

Prog 534 Club Member 0000000010 G
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 06 June, 2006, 12:42:53 am
Fact- this is one of the best threads ever!

Along with womens underwear...

Bolt-01
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SamuelAWilkinson on 06 June, 2006, 01:12:19 am
Fact: I just set fire to my hair after forgetting that I'd hilariously tweaked my lighter so the flame's longer than my finger.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 06 June, 2006, 02:47:46 am
FACT: the sun's just come out. Nice!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: scutfink on 06 June, 2006, 03:15:05 pm
Fact: I never realised the sun was that way inclined, but I for one fully support it's lifestyle choice (So long as it doesn't become a Vampiric Vatican Exorsist of the Future, that would just be silly...)


:)

scutfink

Prog 534 Club Member 0000000010 G
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dounreay on 07 June, 2006, 02:45:07 am
FACT: the sun coming out frees up approximately 512,000,000,000,000,000 cubic miles of closet space.

Which will go some way to helping the current chronic lack of space to put stuff in.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 June, 2006, 12:46:30 am
FACT
certain independent computer game based companies,understand the fact that  internet message boards are the tools of satan, and they must protect potentail new users from finding it with ease.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mr C on 10 January, 2007, 01:32:38 pm
The word mezzanine is Italian for middle floor
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 10 January, 2007, 05:53:53 pm
What uncanny timing to choose to ressurect this. Did you deliberately wait to post that fact exactly four years to the day after this thread was created, Mr C? If so, I salute you.


And in the spirit of the thread - FACT: Bats always turn left when exiting their cave.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 10 January, 2007, 07:42:44 pm
aHH...just skimmed some of the old posts on here...there were some real beauts!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 27 February, 2007, 04:07:37 pm
Did you know that Marmite is in fact collected from the anal secretions of spider monkeys?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 27 February, 2007, 04:13:46 pm
Damn tasty spider monkey secretions at that.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SamuelAWilkinson on 01 March, 2007, 04:07:41 pm
Fact! For every seventh sandwich made anywhere in the world, a small rodent pops into existence in the vaults of the British Museum.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dudley on 16 October, 2007, 11:03:07 pm
The Queen Mother owned three vast warehouses filled with other people's cigarette lighters.  
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 October, 2007, 11:28:22 pm
I am great.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Funt Solo on 17 October, 2007, 01:58:42 pm
FACT! Dudley will not post the remaining posts on this thread required to reach the 4,261,625,379 post limit.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: nofuture on 17 October, 2007, 02:01:57 pm
Steve Coogan's brother was the singer from the mock turtles; 'can you dig it' fame.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 17 October, 2007, 04:31:54 pm

In days of old  a dead Rat was always used in the fermentation of Cider.1 barrel of cider always had a dead Rat in it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: scutfink on 18 October, 2007, 08:04:31 pm
Squoze is not the past tense of Squeeze, FACT!

I don't care how many of you tell me it is, if you can't agree how to spell it it's not a word...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 October, 2007, 08:46:03 pm

If you are making custard dont stir it to mix it .Use a whisk instead and you never ever get lumps in it.

   Fact
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: LARF on 16 January, 2009, 12:00:08 pm
Retro thread reimergence!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 16 January, 2009, 02:12:54 pm
Bring back Karne I say, that was some funny stuff we were getting back then.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 16 January, 2009, 02:37:46 pm
FACT: There will be a new FutureQuake at Hi-Ex2 next month.

Details will emerge in time.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 16 January, 2009, 03:33:52 pm
Quote
Did you know that Marmite is in fact collected from the anal secretions of spider monkeys?

FACT - I can't remember writing that...but haven't eaten Marmite since!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 16 January, 2009, 04:46:33 pm
I will say that does explain the taste.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 16 January, 2009, 11:29:17 pm
Just spent a couple of very happy hours reading the whole of this thread and some of karne's posts made me howl like a donkey. Pure unadulterated genius.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 17 January, 2009, 12:04:31 am
Ditto.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 07:32:09 am
The hippopotamus is a member of the weasel family and keeps gin in it's teeth, thus explaining it's tendency to melancholic renditions of Tommy Steele songs.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 09:07:24 am
The human skeleton was originally made from treacle toffee but was found to cause heartburn, the current standard of "bone "was adopted in the 1830s. All skeletal remains made of "bone" and purporting to be from before this time have been planted by Tony Robinson.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bolt-01 on 18 January, 2009, 09:31:58 am
Colour did not exist as we know it till sometime in the 1960's.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 09:43:42 am
It is not commonly known that the humble rabbit (Rabbitus Boringus) actually has very poor hearing. The large fleshy appendages on it's bonce are in fact primitive windvanes intended to keep it pointing into the wind when taking a crap. This is because they may be deaf but have a very acute sense of smell and hate the stench of their own aforementioned crap. It makes them queasy.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 18 January, 2009, 02:12:12 pm
FACT:
Until the Bank of England is recalimed from the delegation of lizard adjusters it was accidentally sold to in the 1600s, nobody is going to have any money except lizards. Giving money to lizards is pointless as they only use it to make porridge with. Birds, on the other hand, are very good with money and hate porridge.

Also, Elizabeth II isn't really a monarch, she's a cabbage white.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 07:02:08 pm
It is a fact, though no longer fashionable, that the dogfish is actually a dog. It is not eligible for Crufts however as the Kennel club consider it have been cruelly inbred to accentuate certain characteristics of the breed.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 January, 2009, 07:09:05 pm
I assume we're trying to get this to 1000 posts right? If that's the case then ...

boobs
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 07:13:25 pm
The dimensional ratio of the common housebrick is 4-2-1. The height is half of the width which is in turn half of the length. They are most usually made of clay. And they're edible.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 January, 2009, 07:23:13 pm
Canada Tower in Canary Wharf was designed using the same mathematical formulas or equations or whatever they are as the Great Pyramid in Giza.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 07:33:11 pm
The space shuttle program was originally started by the U.S navy to develope a submarine but they got it arse about face.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 18 January, 2009, 07:56:42 pm
In the 1970's, George Lucas made arguably the most profitable movie of all time, taking over 200 times its cost at the international box office, and featuring a young Harrison Ford.
 
It wasn't Star Wars, or Raiders.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 08:04:50 pm
American Graffiti?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 18 January, 2009, 08:25:38 pm
Give that man a coconut.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 January, 2009, 08:44:21 pm
George Lucas has a beard.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 18 January, 2009, 08:48:45 pm
Now thats a fact!

 Swapping smoothly from the silver to the small screen. Star Trek Voyager was going to be called Trans Warp Adventure Team, but they only had enough money for 15 letters in the title.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 18 January, 2009, 10:38:29 pm
Africa only exists on Thursday afternoons and the South Pole is not a pole at all, it's a gas lamp.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 January, 2009, 10:45:49 pm
I should prolly clarify that I was referring to George Lucas' facial hair and was not suggesting that he married a woman in an effort to hide his homosexuality from the general public.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: satchmo on 18 January, 2009, 10:49:43 pm
Daft Punk aren't very good any more.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 January, 2009, 10:52:23 pm
I only have a part-time job even though I kick ass at the place where I work.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: satchmo on 18 January, 2009, 10:55:01 pm
I love Lark Rise To Candleford.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 18 January, 2009, 10:58:53 pm
FACT.

We live in a hologram.  http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg2 ... ?full=true (http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126911.300-our-world-may-be-a-giant-hologram.html?full=true)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 January, 2009, 11:06:32 pm
Quote from: "satchmo"
Daft Punk aren't very good any more.

Neither is Kanye West. His new single is shit. It's fucking shit.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: longmanshort on 18 January, 2009, 11:14:14 pm
Texting is no substitute for face-to-face communication.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 18 January, 2009, 11:23:25 pm
House of Usher has become somewhat untrustworthy since he started using emoticons all the time.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 18 January, 2009, 11:26:43 pm
:roll:
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 18 January, 2009, 11:32:08 pm
If you removed all your veins and capilliaries and laid them end to end, you would die.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 18 January, 2009, 11:33:14 pm
I have got 2 jobs to finish by the end of this week [saturday] or i am totally fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 January, 2009, 12:56:08 am
Anime filler arcs are the worst things ever.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 19 January, 2009, 07:47:07 am
FACT: 'FACT' threads get more lame the closer you get to 1,000 posts.
As this post proves.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 19 January, 2009, 10:16:18 am
FACT
the world health organisation states that during a recent population census it was found every third child born in the world was CHINESE!
as such they have now issued a warning that non asian couples should only have two children. or expect to be adding rice to their weekly grocery shopping needs.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 19 January, 2009, 12:23:38 pm
Quote from: "WoD"
I once had a shower with two american girls.

Do you remember writing that one, WoD..?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 19 January, 2009, 07:38:08 pm
In the good old days Coca-cola's secret ingredient was finely chopped carrot. But once the marketing department got involved it was changed to cocaine. This is of course no longer the case as we live in enlightened times. Now it's radium.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Hoagy on 19 January, 2009, 08:16:14 pm
My daughters birthday is the same as George Romero's. I'd rather think she was down with that. :)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 January, 2009, 08:49:10 pm
You don't love me.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 19 January, 2009, 09:30:52 pm
Millhouse and Spawn.

They're real.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 19 January, 2009, 10:56:01 pm
The soundtrack to Heat is one of the greatest film soundtracks/backing music ever recorded or compiled.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 January, 2009, 11:01:10 pm
Uluqorria Schiffer doesn't fight any differently when his sword is drawn.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 19 January, 2009, 11:12:15 pm
This year's Super Bowl is between the Steelers and the Cardinals.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 20 January, 2009, 07:43:23 am
Two spoonfuls of loose tea per cup, two of sugar, boiling water and a fair bit of milk make the perfect cup of tea.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 20 January, 2009, 12:39:09 pm
FACT
Lead pencils will no longer be refered to as BLACK PENCILS, it is considered a racail slur and is to be stricken from the english language.in future they will be reffered to as writing instruments of a distinctive hue.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 20 January, 2009, 08:41:28 pm
Quote from: "Devons Daddy"
FACT
Lead pencils will no longer be refered to as BLACK PENCILS, it is considered a racail slur and is to be stricken from the english language.in future they will be referred to as writing instruments of a distinctive hue.

I have never referred to a lead pencil as "black" and i have never heard anyone else do so either ever.They can all calm down now.Lead pencils are grayscale not black unless you are "color" blind.

[my appologies .I couldnt resist]

Anyway the new single from U2 is atrociously awful and its the worst thing they have ever done.

"I think its a grower..."
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 21 January, 2009, 09:20:48 pm
Fire is the cleanser.

No, sorry, that is wholly irresponsible on my part. Fire is actually only the cleanser in a very limited number of situations. What would be more accurate in most cases is that warm water and a dependable detergent of some sort is the cleanser.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 22 January, 2009, 02:51:29 am
Sometimes saying nothing and doing nothing,avoiding confrontation and waiting is the best policy for dealing with problem people .Smile at them and be nice and make them laugh and make them like you after a while instead.

Tea tastes better in white china clay cups .





Dont waste cash on pointless capitalist cleaning products when bleach ,washing up liquid,and vinegar is just as good and a lot cheaper.

Lying in a hot bath is the best way to solve a problem or think of an idea etc.Works for me anyway.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 22 January, 2009, 08:40:26 am
Pain is just weakness leaving the body.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 22 January, 2009, 08:23:58 pm
For many years it has been the misfortune of our fair nation to be under the malignant and all intrusive influence of the Ministry of Agriculture Farming and Fisheries. Their foul PROPAGANDA has warped the minds of our younglings with state enforced nursery school lessons propagating the most hideous of lies. So in order to set the record straight and at no small risk to my personal safety I can now reveal the truth. Cows miaow. Sheep neigh. Pigs cluck. Geese moo. Horsies oink. Chickens bark. And last but in some ways most perversely, fish yodel. Spread the word, and good luck.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 January, 2009, 09:04:36 pm
If 9/11 had happened in London it would have been delayed for 2 months.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: satchmo on 22 January, 2009, 10:08:10 pm
Posh people eat their Pot Noodles out of a bowl.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 22 January, 2009, 10:18:02 pm
Pasta bake is delicious but it must have Mushrooms in it and plenty of Bechamel and its even better when it has grated parmesan on top of it.

Lidl is the cheapest place to buy fresh Parmesan if you can stand it for long enough in there.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 22 January, 2009, 10:43:28 pm
David Hasselhoff is disturbingly popular in Germany. So is dodgy poo porn. Hey, they're just facts, I'm not implying any connection what so ever. That would unfair.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 22 January, 2009, 10:51:17 pm
If Shakespeare was alive today he would be writing hits for Soulja Boy.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QhwQay4QiOw (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QhwQay4QiOw)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 22 January, 2009, 11:04:34 pm
The gentle "Lost tribe" of the upper Wetwang never developed a full understanding of the concept of size. They consider themselves to be giants and thus avoid other people in case they harm them with their massive limbs.

And in my last post there should have been a 'be' in the final sentence, put it where you like.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kev Levell on 22 January, 2009, 11:33:04 pm
When I looked in my wallet today, I saw the future - it was cold, empty and things looked pretty bleak.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 23 January, 2009, 03:15:15 am
Quote from: "kevlev"
When I looked in my wallet today, I saw the future - it was cold, empty and things looked pretty bleak.

There is also a positive side and a solution and an opportunity and the future is not set..............yet
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 23 January, 2009, 03:17:11 am
Tell that to Sarah Connor.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 23 January, 2009, 05:50:37 pm
There may be more than one way to skin a cat. But you try boning a whelk with any other technique than the usual one and you could have your eye out.

Boning. Tee hee hee.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 23 January, 2009, 06:00:18 pm
POST 1000!!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: WoD on 23 January, 2009, 07:11:07 pm
1000...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 23 January, 2009, 08:52:18 pm
1001...dalmations?

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kev Levell on 25 January, 2009, 02:26:38 pm
The counter seems to have added one, somehow, making this post 1003 - fact!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Old Tankie on 26 January, 2009, 07:39:42 pm
It is impossible to lick your elbow!!


Oh, and 94 per cent of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!!!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 26 January, 2009, 07:48:53 pm
Quote
It is impossible to lick your elbow!!
Not if you buy me a pint first
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 26 January, 2009, 10:31:31 pm
Quote from: "kevlev"
The counter seems to have added one, somehow, making this post 1003 - fact!

The counter is the number of replies to the first post.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 27 January, 2009, 07:13:50 pm
If you're going to get bitten by a wild animal try to make sure it isn't anywhere unpleasant....like Gatwick.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 27 January, 2009, 08:39:03 pm
This'll be a first, an actual fact. From me. You cannot, right, change the f*ck b*st*rd rear f*ck*ng light bulb on a sh*t b*ll*cks mark one b*st*rd Land Rover f*ck*ng Discovery, right, without f*ck*ng swearing. FACT!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 27 January, 2009, 09:04:11 pm
For true horror try changing the clutch cable on a Renault 9.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 29 January, 2009, 01:32:02 am
Things that go wrong often go in threes.

When the third thing goes wrong you know you are in the clear.

I am looking forward to the third nail that goes through a waterpipe under the floorboards tomorrow having never ever hit a waterpipe with a nail before.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 29 January, 2009, 07:01:13 am
due to the evolution of humans,
any one below the age of 30 years old cannot allow their mobile communications device to be further then an arms length from their body 24 hours a day.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 29 January, 2009, 06:39:38 pm
Confucius, the wise old man of Chinese history was not in fact considered to possess unusual sagacity by his peers at all. His nickname was 'the hairy hippy'. It was only after his untimely demise that it was discovered he had inscribed vast tracts of lore on the back of his crapper door.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 29 January, 2009, 06:42:55 pm
I'm black. Bet you didn't see that coming.



PS I'm not black.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 29 January, 2009, 06:51:32 pm
You're right, I didn't see that coming as I can't read.

If you take on a five year old at Super Mario Soccer you are going to get whupped like a ginger stepchild. "hey look look, triple goal, ha ha ha". Yeah hilarious.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 30 January, 2009, 06:05:20 pm
Philosophically speaking this is factual. Or is it?  
Emmanual Kant was a right piss ant, but thats only to be expected growing up with a name like that in east end of London.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 06:16:16 pm
Seeing my parents naked on a regular basis made me into the man I am today.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 07:02:31 pm
Swearing is pretty much the best, most intelligent and sexiest thing you can do.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 07:42:13 pm
I've been doing this for nineteen years. Wanna fight me? Fight these tears.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 07:49:29 pm
Whenever I opt to use my sawed-off*, it's usually the case that people get hauled off.**

*Sawed-off shotgun.

** Because they're dead.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 08:01:31 pm
Ice Hockey legend Wayne Gretsky invented Burger King.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 08:33:21 pm
Tupac Shakur bought shares in Parmalat.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 08:54:59 pm
Ron Jeremy is a ghost.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 30 January, 2009, 10:32:31 pm
With E4+1 it is possible to watch the same episode of Scrubs 6 times in the space of 24 hours.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 31 January, 2009, 07:26:29 pm
Porn is immoral.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 31 January, 2009, 08:47:19 pm
Synthetic hair paintbrushes last up to 10 times as long as non synthetic haired brushes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 31 January, 2009, 11:52:01 pm
For a quick hit if you are tired try raw Cocoa.You just need a lick of it and its much stronger than an Expresso for example.Green and Blacks 100% organic Cocoa powder is the best.Its a very powerful stimulant and not only that it is a superfood that is very very good for you.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 01 February, 2009, 12:53:22 am
Bauhaus - Ziggy Stardust is better than the original version by DB.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 01 February, 2009, 01:11:33 am
Quote from: "peterwolf"
Bauhaus - Ziggy Stardust is better than the original version by DB.

I thought it was practically indistinguishable from the original, myself.

It did, however, begin the fine tradition of "Gloriously Inappropriate Cover Versions By Goth Bands".

Into this category, I would like to submit:

Jolene - Sisters of Mercy
Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) - Sisters of Mercy
In Every Dream Home A Heartache - Fields of the Nephilim
Twist In My Sobriety - Dreadful Shadows
Wicked Game - HIM (wouldn't normally give this band the time of day, but it's a REALLY good cover)
Will You - The Merry Thoughts
Into the Groove - Midnight Configuration
Here Comes The Rain Again - The Cruxshadows
Paint It Black - Inkubus Sukkubus
Temptation - Rosetta Stone
Goodbye 70s - Suspiria
New Year's Day - Zeraphine

And, stretching the definition of goth a bit ...

Das Modell - Rammstein

Cheers!

Jim
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 01 February, 2009, 01:55:34 am
Bela Lugosis Dead was the first Goth single.[IIRC?]

I dont know any of those tracks that you have listed apart from the first but i never knew SOM covered an Abba song.They did cover Emma by Hot Chocolate [usually played live].
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 01 February, 2009, 09:26:34 am
Quote
For a quick hit if you are tired try raw Cocoa

No, no. Horlicks is the way to go. Take enough Horlicks, cold water and sugar to make a cup full of fairly runny paste. Put this on to a non-stick tray in a medium hot oven. Half way through baking score the surface of the mix into little squares. When fully baked take out, break into cubes and enjoy.
Tastes very similar to the now defunct Horlicks tablets and has the same energy kick as a neutron bomb!

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 01 February, 2009, 02:13:02 pm
Quote from: "Bouwel"
Quote
For a quick hit if you are tired try raw Cocoa

No, no. Horlicks is the way to go. Take enough Horlicks, cold water and sugar to make a cup full of fairly runny paste. Put this on to a non-stick tray in a medium hot oven. Half way through baking score the surface of the mix into little squares. When fully baked take out, break into cubes and enjoy.
Tastes very similar to the now defunct Horlicks tablets and has the same energy kick as a neutron bomb!

-Bouwel-

I never knew that as i have never tried Horlicks.I thought Horlicks was malted milk. :o

Raw Cocoa has an effect similar to Amphetamines [which i dont take] but with no side effects.I dont see where the stimulant effect comes from with Horlicks ?.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 01 February, 2009, 05:00:33 pm
Crackpot inventor Alfred Nobel first came up with formula for dynamite as a means of keeping slugs out of his runner beans.
He decided to start awarding prizes to similarly crazed loons because he figured everyone likes a piss up. Good man.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 February, 2009, 08:31:43 pm
Unfortunately the general public remains largely unaware of the devastating effects of Ass Burgers syndrome due to the confusion with Asperger's.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 February, 2009, 08:34:15 pm
I am attractive.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 01 February, 2009, 09:34:25 pm
You wear your breasts like a man with an uncontrollable bulge in his apartment.

This reply brought to you courtesy of the surrealism server: http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG (http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG)

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 February, 2009, 10:59:44 pm
Of the ten boarders I have met, only one could currently be described as a regular poster.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 02 February, 2009, 07:04:54 pm
If you are stopped by the police on your wobbly way home from the pub and they ask you and your mate if you've been in a fight and if you've bitten anyone it is best not to refer to your mate as 'Hannibal'. You would have thought a fat policewoman would be jolly. Apparently not. Hey ho.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 02 February, 2009, 09:32:41 pm
The narrator in Paul Auster's novel Timbuktu is actually Emmanuel Swedenborg.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 02 February, 2009, 09:34:27 pm
The graphic novel From Hell contains the word "mile".
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 02 February, 2009, 09:37:17 pm
John Lydon once claimed that David Bowie had ripped off Peter Hamill.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kev Levell on 02 February, 2009, 09:37:50 pm
Quote from: "Godpleton"
The narrator in Paul Auster's novel Timbuktu is actually Emmanuel Swedenborg.

The narrator in 'Withnail and I" Paul McGann's I is actually called Peter Marwood.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 02 February, 2009, 10:26:24 pm
Grady Pesterson is a professional beard.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kev Levell on 02 February, 2009, 11:13:42 pm
Your forearm is as long as your foot.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kev Levell on 02 February, 2009, 11:14:18 pm
You are now testing this out, hopping or thinking "No it isn't!"
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 February, 2009, 12:08:44 am
Spider-Man 3 is the favourite film of murderers and rapists the world over.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 February, 2009, 12:31:22 am
FEMA camps FEMA CAMPS FEMA CAMPS
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: I, Cosh on 03 February, 2009, 12:45:37 am
Quote from: "kevlev"
You are now testing this out, hopping or thinking "No it isn't!"
This post was edited and that's a fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 03 February, 2009, 12:53:53 am
Quote from: "kevlev"
Your forearm is as long as your foot.

Not everyone is daft enough to try that at home.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 03 February, 2009, 06:16:37 pm
Bad/late payers are a pain and a fact of life.

I always get payment from them sooner or later and thats a fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 February, 2009, 06:32:48 pm
Plasticine was first devised as a means of overthrowing the Queens in ant colonies.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 February, 2009, 06:37:01 pm
John Redwood is a huge fan of D-Gray Man.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 February, 2009, 06:42:33 pm
Dev Patel of Slumdog fame is in the Avatar movie. Not the JC one BTW.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 04 February, 2009, 07:06:50 pm
Identifying a person's political ideology and creating a compound word that involves the word "tard" is an entirely valid means of arguing against their position.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 04 February, 2009, 09:01:24 pm
So....what would a 'Cus-tard' be then?

Enquiring minds wish to know...

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 04 February, 2009, 09:14:44 pm
Never judge a sausage by it's skin is a very worthy maxim to follow in life. But close attention to the best before date is also highly recommended if you wish to avoid chronic arse rot.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 04 February, 2009, 09:31:52 pm
Elmer Fudd lookalike Winston Churchill was, as we all know, a cigar smoker, painter and statesman of renown. However what is not so well known is that he was also the inventor of the toilet duck. Very useful piece of pub quiz knowledge that is.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 05 February, 2009, 10:48:44 am
"Global Warming" is spurious scaremongering/alarmist claptrap.
 "Global Warming" is political/social engineering disguised as scientific "fact".
 "Global Warming" is a "convenient" source of tax revenue.
 "Global Warming" is a "convenient" untruth.

 There has been NO rise in earths temperatures since 1998 and they have in fact declined since 2002.

 The polar ice sheets are expanding NOT declining.

 The Sun is the cause of climate change NOT Carbon emissions.

 We are entering into a cooling period that is caused by low sunspot activity.

 Al Gore is full of shit.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 05 February, 2009, 12:37:41 pm
I am the best, better than all the rest.
I am the best, better than all the rest.
I am the best, better than all the rest.
I am the best, better than all the rest.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 05 February, 2009, 08:55:46 pm
The BBC are no longer impartial and apolitical.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: satchmo on 05 February, 2009, 09:18:42 pm
I have never seen a communist drink a glass of water.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 05 February, 2009, 09:20:57 pm
And there's flouride in the water...drunk by our children. Children!

It's a plot to sap all of our precious bodily fluids...

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 05 February, 2009, 11:56:06 pm
Ad hominem only works if you're Nietzsche. Do you wanna be Nietzsche? Do you want Syphilihs? Do you want your sister to go around telling everyone you hate Jews?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: M.I.K. on 06 February, 2009, 03:05:58 am
Godzilla was based on a real person.

Toshio Gojira, 85, a retired greengrocer from Kyoto, was good friends with the film's original scriptwriter. He shares absolutely no similarities with his namesake besides the fact that he too is a giant atomic-breathed radioactive prehistoric reptile.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 06 February, 2009, 07:47:21 am
Quote
Ad hominem only works if you're Nietzsche

Or Ezekiel Bulver, as anyone other than Godpleton, with his narrow canon of philosophy, would surely know.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mikey on 06 February, 2009, 12:31:40 pm
Quote
Global Warming" is spurious scaremongering/alarmist claptrap.
"Global Warming" is political/social engineering disguised as scientific "fact".
"Global Warming" is a "convenient" source of tax revenue.
"Global Warming" is a "convenient" untruth.

There has been NO rise in earths temperatures since 1998 and they have in fact declined since 2002.

The polar ice sheets are expanding NOT declining.

The Sun is the cause of climate change NOT Carbon emissions.

We are entering into a cooling period that is caused by low sunspot activity.

You forgot to mention "...Political Correctness gone mad". You couldn't make it up!

M.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 06 February, 2009, 08:03:29 pm
The common kumquat would only lay it's eggs in the ear of the extraordinarily rare Pensive Penguin. It is for this reason and this reason alone that they were reclassified as a fruit in 1976 under the "Classification of cretinous animals act" subsection 14/c.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 07 February, 2009, 12:29:19 am
Quote from: "Mikey"
Quote
Global Warming" is spurious scaremongering/alarmist claptrap.
"Global Warming" is political/social engineering disguised as scientific "fact".
"Global Warming" is a "convenient" source of tax revenue.
"Global Warming" is a "convenient" untruth.

There has been NO rise in earths temperatures since 1998 and they have in fact declined since 2002.

The polar ice sheets are expanding NOT declining.

The Sun is the cause of climate change NOT Carbon emissions.

We are entering into a cooling period that is caused by low sunspot activity.

You forgot to mention "...Political Correctness gone mad". You couldn't make it up!

M.

Heretic !! .
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 08 February, 2009, 09:56:07 am
If you wish to avoid undue stress and worry with regard to your savings during these turbulent times of fiscal uncertainty. Invest in diesel powered nuns.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 08 February, 2009, 03:46:26 pm
History repeats itself because people never learn.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: mogzilla on 08 February, 2009, 03:57:39 pm
whiny american kids get on EVERY session of COD4...as does the guy who thinks because he has a mic HAS to use it.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 February, 2009, 06:33:46 pm
You are naked.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 08 February, 2009, 06:36:31 pm
Yes I am.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 February, 2009, 06:37:15 pm
Karl Popper was actually called Karl Schriber. "Popper" was a nickname based on his prediliction for Amyl Nitrate.


He also once called Kuhn "a motherfucking prick" when no one was looking.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 08 February, 2009, 07:03:08 pm
Quote from: "Godpleton"
You are naked.

It's Sunday...aren't we all?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 08 February, 2009, 07:24:41 pm
Quote
It's Sunday...aren't we all?

Well, some of us are smeared with blood of course...

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 February, 2009, 07:55:33 pm
The war against knives is a war against being cool.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 09 February, 2009, 07:37:29 pm
The Roman empire was devised by the Italians as a tax dodge. What they'd do was import new ideas such as toilets and gossip mags to the unsuspecting natives of their so called conquered lands and then swap them for assets such as gold and cheese, ship them all back to Rome but tell the taxman they were second hand goods being imported for recycling. Made an absolute killing.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 February, 2009, 12:11:01 am
Why would anyone hit Rhianna?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 10 February, 2009, 07:49:18 pm
Stop sniffing Tippex. Which, fact, was invented by the mum of one of the Monkees, fact. Who all met at a chicken f*ckers anonymous meeting in Worthing during the heady summer of 1962. It's true.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 February, 2009, 07:58:57 pm
Snorting eraser crumbs is good for your health.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 10 February, 2009, 08:00:51 pm
Having completed his Phd. thesis Brian May of the group Queen is waiting for the right moment to collapse the universe with one strum of his mighty guitar.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 10 February, 2009, 08:15:05 pm
Quote from: "Bouwel"
collapse the universe with one strum of his mighty guitar.
now THAT'S a euphamism. ;)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 10 February, 2009, 08:48:28 pm
Quote from: "Kerrin"
Stop sniffing Tippex. Which, fact, was invented by the mum of one of the Monkees, fact. Who all met at a chicken f*ckers anonymous meeting in Worthing during the heady summer of 1962. It's true.

It was the mother of Mike Nesmith who invented it.Not sure about the connection with the above ground cemetery though.

[Pathetic claim to fame:I used to know [not well] Jason Nesmith who was in a band called Nancy Boy at the time]
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 February, 2009, 09:21:24 pm
Bleach was actually good once.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 10 February, 2009, 10:00:03 pm
There are, and I shit you not, 179 anagrams of Godpleton, my favorite of which so far is dongle top. I fully intend to use them all, in as annoying a manner as possible. Fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 10 February, 2009, 10:16:57 pm
Nah. I lied, most of 'em are crap.

If you ask your brother to get you something from Tesco he will always get the wrong f*cking thing. Always. Little shitbag.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 February, 2009, 10:19:10 pm
People called Chris cannot be trusted.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: M.I.K. on 10 February, 2009, 10:26:50 pm
Carpets were originally created to be placed on the ceiling but kept falling off.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 February, 2009, 10:41:00 pm
Ireland is responsible for some terrible music and has yet to apologise.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: satchmo on 11 February, 2009, 01:23:49 am
I like Biggie and 2Pac.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 11 February, 2009, 07:36:22 am
'Lube, Ow!' is an anagram of 'Bouwel'. Make of this what you will.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 February, 2009, 08:59:45 pm
After destroying Get Fact!, Roger K Godpleton's next target is the Underwear thread.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 11 February, 2009, 10:06:54 pm
It is physically impossible to destroy the threads in underwear made of rubber as you  well know "Roger". Studs on the inside?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 February, 2009, 11:08:39 pm
We're killing turtles.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 February, 2009, 11:40:15 pm
Global Warming, the Recession and Knife Crime will soon be teaming up. You have been warned.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: M.I.K. on 11 February, 2009, 11:43:07 pm
How cool would those be for supervillain names?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 February, 2009, 12:16:10 am
If I was a supervillain, I would be White Flight. I just want my children to be safe, what's wrong with that? I'm not racist Ok, some of my best friends are black.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 12 February, 2009, 11:39:02 am
I always wanted my supervillan name to be 'Howling Wolf Switchplates' as per this site:

http://www.switchhits.com/switchplates_ ... _7055.html (http://www.switchhits.com/switchplates_sub_howling_wolf_light_switch_plates_covers_7055.html)

Also a handy name if you want to do some Country and/or Western singing in the evening. Bonus!

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 February, 2009, 03:53:14 pm
Quote from: "Godpleton"
Global Warming, the Recession and Knife Crime will soon be teaming up. You have been warned.

 One is a fraud ,another is very tight with cash and the other will stick a knife in your back when you are not looking.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Satanist on 12 February, 2009, 04:36:44 pm
I watched The Zombie Diaries last night and it has the most laughable reference to 9/11 ever. FACT!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 12 February, 2009, 10:30:11 pm
The Governator, Arnie 'Gropenfuhrer' Schwarzenegger has a tent in the grounds of his governorial mansion, purportedly to allow him to smoke his giant blunts whilst conducting his business of the day. This is actually a corruption of the truth. He has to work in a tent away from normal people because his years of ingesting bizarre bodybuilding milkshakes has left him with the flatulence of a dispeptic rhinocerous.

I'll be...parp...back.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 February, 2009, 11:10:23 pm
I've run out of deodorant. I don't have any deodorant. I don't have any deodorant. I've run out of deodorant. I don't have any deodorant.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 12 February, 2009, 11:13:54 pm
Learn to live with your natural aroma, my brother.

Unless you stink.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 February, 2009, 11:14:59 pm
Smiths reunion - will never happen

Limp Bizkit reunion - actually happening
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 12 February, 2009, 11:16:33 pm
Can that please be copied to the bus-advert thread to disprove the existence of God once and for all?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 February, 2009, 11:43:35 pm
I have never ever used Deodorant.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 12 February, 2009, 11:48:43 pm
This does not suprise anyone.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 12 February, 2009, 11:53:48 pm
Its because i dont sweat or do but only in trace amounts that hardly notices.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 13 February, 2009, 12:36:45 am
I'm going to force all of you to watch Kaze to Ki no Uta one day so you shall know my shame.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JOE SOAP on 13 February, 2009, 12:38:33 am
Your shame is always on display.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SuperSurfer on 13 February, 2009, 01:14:40 am
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 13 February, 2009, 01:22:23 am
This ribbon cracks like that one, and that one cracks like those over there, and those over there crack like these two.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 February, 2009, 06:49:56 pm
Familiarity can very often lead to contempt.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 13 February, 2009, 07:00:43 pm
4880 posts in 22 months.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 13 February, 2009, 07:50:48 pm
4880 divided by 2 = 2440.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 14 February, 2009, 12:52:38 am
The UK is a registered PLC.The Government,the Police,Social sevices,local council,every government body are also a registered PLC respectively.

Your person as you are known [your full name + title in capital letters *only*] is a legal definition and is separate to yourself as a living being.You are two separate things in Legalese.

If you are UK born your birth certificate [with your full name in capital letters - V important] is a transfer of ownership [a contract] from your parents to the state for life.You are now registered as the property of the state [UK PLC] and its statutes,legislation,etc.You only have the copy of your birth certificate.If you can get the original copy and destroy it then you are no longer the property [an employee] of the UK PLC and are exempt from UK law [statutes,legislation,etc etc-anything that has been passed by UK Govt PLC] but not Common Law.Common Law applies to everyone regardless.Destroy the birth certificate to destroy the contract to avoid paying taxes to UK Govt PLC as just one example.

"What is your name/address ?" is a request from the UK Police PLC to confirm and provide details that you are property of UK PLC and subject to its terms and conditions [law].
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 15 February, 2009, 08:58:40 am
The term 'animal magnetism' has it's roots in some obvious members of the bestial kingdom. The Compass Dove, the Lode Stoat and the Pin Finding Beetle are all familiar to those acquainted with the most rudimentary of zoological facts.

However, how many of you are au fait with the Repulsive Finch or the Magnetic Testicle Monkey? Not many I'll warrant.

The Repulsive Finch is an attractive avian of field and garden. They are easy to classify. Simply attempt to introduce the bird to a draw of metal cutlery and observe the effects. It will become immediately apparent if the Finch you are holding is repulsive, or if indeed your twitching skills are off kilter and you have apprehended a 'normal' Finch. If you have, put it back.

The Magnetic Testicle Monkey is of course illegal and I will not describe the perverse deviancy of this most depraved of fauna here.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 15 February, 2009, 09:54:48 am
In an emergency a child can suffice as a small shelter for up to three people.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 February, 2009, 01:08:41 pm
When filling in and signing a vehicle registration form you are in fact transferring ownership of that vehicle over to the Govt.In doing so you become the keeper of the vehicle NOT the owner.If you were still the owner it would be illegal for the Govt to sieze YOUR property and crush it if you havent paid road tax.If this happens they are in fact destroying their own property.You pay for the car and then give it to the Govt.You sign away ALL rights of ownership.

Taxation is an enforced Statute/legislation but it is NOT Law.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 February, 2009, 08:27:17 pm
Your real dad was black.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Noisybast on 15 February, 2009, 08:39:56 pm
Quote from: "SuperSurfer"
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous.

Bulbous, also tapered.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 15 February, 2009, 08:55:25 pm
If you get an old vinyl copy of Sgt. Peppers and play the end backwards you can hear the following secret message from the devil:
"Eldeen sreyalp drocer ruoy pu gnikcuf era uoy"

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 February, 2009, 11:19:18 pm
Quote from: "peterwolf"
When filling in and signing a vehicle registration form you are in fact transferring ownership of that vehicle over to the Govt.In doing so you become the keeper of the vehicle NOT the owner.If you were still the owner it would be *illegal* for the Govt to seize YOUR property and crush it if you havent paid road tax.If this happens they are in fact destroying their own property.You pay for the car and then give it to the Govt.You sign away ALL rights of ownership.

 The word "illegal" used above is incorrect terminology.Criminal is the correct term that should have been used in its place.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 01:09:28 pm
If I was given a choice between two scenarios where a). all of you die or b). KFC stop serving the miniature cheesecakes I would totally choose a).
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: karne on 16 February, 2009, 03:37:41 pm
Over 1000 posts to this utter nonsense?! That has to be worth a momentary ressurection at least...

As a child, JFK was enthralled by stage magicians and their super-human feats. His particular favourite was Harry Houdini, and after hearing rumours that his hero had at one time caught a bullet between his teeth, he vowed that one day he would also carry out such a trick.

By the time JFK reached adulthood he had perfected his stage persona to such a degree that he was inadvertently elected President of America. He initially saw this as a temporary setback to his plans of becoming the world’s greatest illusionist before realising that his high profile would actually be of benefit to his stage career.

The final piece of the jigsaw came one summer afternoon when he popped into his local cinema to see a re-run of the 1959 hit comedy “Some Like it Hot”. In that moment he knew instantly that his search for the perfect magician’s assistant was over. Unfortunately for JFK though, Tony Curtis was unavailable at the time as he had more important things to do like chase girls half his age and star in films. Tony suggested his co-star, but when Jack Lemmon also decided to be unavailable the job went to their supporting actress and professional airhead, Marilyn Monroe.

Now that the line-up was complete it seemed like nothing could go wrong, but during a rehearsal on August 5th 1962, Marilyn asked if she could take a shot in the mouth. After the initial misunderstanding had been cleared up, JFK agreed, but only if he could replace the bullets with something less harmful in case anything went wrong. A search of the room revealed a bottle of sleeping pills, which JFK loaded into the revolver and then proceeded to shoot Marilyn in the gob with. After over a hundred perfect shots, Marilyn began to feel a little tired and decide to sleep. JFK being the perfect gentleman decided to strip her naked and leave her on the bed, little knowing that she had swallowed enough pills to send her off to the land of nod permanently.  

It’s unknown whether or not this unfortunate little accident had any effect on JFK’s judgement, but on that fateful day in November 1963, he instructed three of his most able marksmen to position themselves in a book depository, on a grassy knoll and within the crowd of bystanders and then shoot him in the teeth in an attempt to trump Houdini’s previous one bullet record. As the history books show the trick didn’t go as planned. But public sympathy was so high that the FBI decided not to reveal how stupid JFK had been to attempt such a mad stunt in case it sparked a revolution or, at worst, apathy at the next election.

Events became a little complicated two days later when one of the marksmen, Lee Harvey Oswald contacted Claims Direct and threatened legal action against the family of Harry Houdini on the grounds that it was their relative who had given JFK such a stupid notion. The FBI feared that if the case went public then the true facts would be revealed. But Houdini’s family, fearing bankruptcy, had already taken care of things by hypnotising their next-door neighbour, local night club owning gun-nut Jack Ruby to shoot Lee Harvey Oswald and prevent the claim from being taken any further.

Had JFK succeeded in his trick it is highly likely that he would have gone on to become the most popular President in American history. And without doubt, certainly the most entertaining.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 February, 2009, 03:43:14 pm
A Fixed Penalty Notice like a parking fine for example is NOT a Bill or a Demand requesting settlement of an outstanding sum of money.It is what is known as an ADHESION CONTRACT attached to a STATUTE.An ADHESION CONTRACT is a type of contract/a legally binding contract between 2 parties of which you [your PERSON - a fictional/created legal definition] being one of the parties are being invited to discuss the breach of CONTRACT that the OFFERER [your local council] is attempting to force upon your PERSON. You pay because you *may* fear the consequences of not paying [coercion] but in reality this example i have given here is nothing more than a mafia revenue collection racket and it is in fact FRAUD.

Explanation:

 We are all being subjecting to being bound to contracts that while being  legally enforecable are NOT Law.

 Ask the Revenue Collection Officer under what authority and under what LAW they are acting and they wont be able to answer because it isnt LAW.It is a STATUTE [an act of Parliament] and therefore has no basis in LAW.

 If this happens to you then ask them the above question and if they fail to answer it correctly or dont answer it then remind them that failure to DIFFERENTIATE between what is  a LAW and what is a STATUTE is GROSS NEGLIGENCE/An abuse of power and is in fact equivalent to Common Law FRAUD and FRAUD is a CRIMINAL act under COMMON LAW [The Law of the land] and is a punishable offence.

This rule applies to ANYONE [including Police] who is trying to enforce a STATUTE upon you.

Revenue Collection is FRAUD.Plain and Simple.

Absolute FACT.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 16 February, 2009, 04:00:05 pm
HURRAH! Welcome back Karne!

Nice to see you haven't lost your touch, as one of the other boarders mentioned when this thread was resurrected "That was some funny sh*t". If only Oliver Stone had been in possession of the real story before he made 'JFK'. I might have stayed awake.

But a fact. Well. Christopher Biggins' circus strongman career was cut short by his unfortunate susceptibility to haemerroids.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 04:11:41 pm
Karne is like a crack ho that sells her baby to buy some crack but the baby is rescued by social services but then the crack ho stops taking crack and is no longer a crack ho and gets a job and fights tooth and nail to get to middle management and thinks she can just get the baby back but deep down knows she can't because she was a crack ho who's need for crack was so great she sold her baby for money in order to pay a drug dealer who sells crack to give her some crack and then that pusher used the money he got selling crack to her and to other crack hos and more generic crack addicts to buy some crack from a supplier which he would sell to unfortunate women who had resorted to prostitution in order to finance their addiction to crack.

However the supplier has his fingers in many pies and one of those pies is a legitimate front company which ironically enough is where the ex-ho now works.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2009, 04:44:28 pm
@PeterWolf: Assuming that you mean your recent series of post as genuine facts rather than the FACTS others are presenting, I have a question.  

Assuming what you are asserting is correct (and frankly I don't know enough about English law to make a judgement), what is your point?  Are you suggesting (for example) that all Council Revenue Collection is a Bad Thing and should be resisted because it is illegal?  Because even if it is, most people still want to see fines for things like illegally-parked cars, and generally approve of money gathered to pay for roads, refuse collection, public parks that sort of thing.  We're more interested that these things work, that monies are collected and distributed fairly, than questioning the labyrinthine semantic underpinnings.  

I do understand the siren song of anarchy, but there's a point where it sounds more like the Tooting Popular Front.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 16 February, 2009, 04:48:27 pm
Quote
a point where it sounds more like the Tooting Popular Front

Do we all get cool knitted balaclava helmets?

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 16 February, 2009, 04:55:28 pm
No comrade, they are not cool, they are very warm. Invented by the Earl of Balaclava of course. First name, Barry.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 February, 2009, 05:18:49 pm
Quote from: "TordelBack"
@PeterWolf: Assuming that you mean your recent series of post as genuine facts rather than the FACTS others are presenting, I have a question.  

Assuming what you are asserting is correct (and frankly I don't know enough about English law to make a judgement), what is your point?  Are you suggesting (for example) that all Council Revenue Collection is a Bad Thing and should be resisted because it is illegal?  Because even if it is, most people still want to see fines for things like illegally-parked cars, and generally approve of money gathered to pay for roads, refuse collection, public parks that sort of thing.  We're more interested that these things work, that monies are collected and distributed fairly, than questioning the labyrinthine semantic underpinnings.  

I do understand the siren song of anarchy, but there's a point where it sounds more like the Tooting Popular Front.

 The point is just to have an *understanding* of how things work in this country regarding Law and Legislation and the difference between the two as hardly anyone does.I am not saying dont pay Council Tax or a fine for parking and causing an obstruction.I am just explaining the mechanisms as TBH i was staggered when i found out and i thought it may be of interest.

I used Revenue collection as an example.

Its got nothing to do with Anarchy or the Tooting Popular Front but there is an abuse of power in this country.The posts are information that everyone should be aware of.If you are arrested you want to know if you are being arrested for breaking a LAW and not a statute.



[I dont and never have had any sympathy with Anarchy]
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 05:44:02 pm
A question to my fellow Factonauts*: Who would win in a chicken fight between Christ and the historical Christ? Both are sat atop Abraham who was cloned.


*Not you Peter.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 16 February, 2009, 05:45:15 pm
Historical Christ, of course. He'd use the nails in his wrists as lethal improvised weapons.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 16 February, 2009, 05:56:15 pm
(I really shouldn't, and I do TRY to ignore it, but sometimes...)

Quote from: "peterwolf"
while being legally enforecable are NOT Law
There may be a semantic difference, but so fucking what? "THE LAW" is a mixture of statute, precedent and common practice. If 'The Man' imposes a tax/fine/charge on you, and if they have the will and the means (financial or physical) to enforce it, then we pay up. That's the nature of power. Technically, there are all kinds of minor fees and charges that we get away with because nobody bothers to enforce them, or it's uneconomical to do so.Copyright is an example where the will may be there, but current technology means the illegal downloader can generally get away with it. Parking tickets and road tax on the other hand are necessary and enforceable, so picking apart the semantics is beyond futile.

Quote from: "peterwolf"
Ask the Revenue Collection Officer under what authority and under what LAW they are acting and they wont be able to answer
..or even give a shit - what, are you expecting some guy in some call centre to say "Curses! Foiled by your legal logic - you do not have to pay Road Tax because I cannot answer your fiendish question!"?

Quote from: "peterwolf"
If you are arrested you want to know if you are being arrested for breaking a LAW and not a statute
No, I just want to know what it will cost me, can I get away with it and am I going to get a kicking.

Quote from: "peterwolf"
If this happens to you then ask them the above question and if they fail to answer it correctly or dont answer it then remind them that failure to DIFFERENTIATE between what is a LAW and what is a STATUTE is GROSS NEGLIGENCE/An abuse of power and is in fact equivalent to Common Law FRAUD and FRAUD is a CRIMINAL act under COMMON LAW [The Law of the land] and is a punishable offence
Oh Jesus, you're lapsing into sporadic CAPITALS now, so take a deep breath and have a lie down. (Every time I see a word in angry capitals in a political post, it' like frothing spittle hitting the keyboard. And as I've mentioned before, typing FACT in capitals at the end is the internet equivalent of writing letters in green ink. It's as self-defeating as the phrase "trust me", in that it instantly flags up what you saying as potential bullshit.

And finally, you don't like conservatism, you don't like socialism and you don't like anarchy. Since you style yourself as a free-thinker who refuses to be bound by any consensus or movement (for which I read a disaffected lackwit without the brains or balls to stand behind any particular principal or formulate a positive political viewpoint), I guess the only state of affairs that could possibly satisfy you is the Glorious Dictatorship of Peterwolf. Seig Heil!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 16 February, 2009, 06:01:27 pm
Quote
internet equivalent of writing letters in green ink

We used to have a customer who, once a week, sent in a letter that was handwritten in red ink. The words were tiny and filled the page (both sides) like dense angry red spiders. Upon reading a few of the letters we determind that she was mad.

I think she's dead now as the letters have stopped.

Just thought I'd mention that.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 16 February, 2009, 06:06:02 pm
I once knew someone who bought a TV licence solely and specifically so he could ring up the BBC late at night to make drunken complaints that always began "as a licence fee payer...". He could have gotten away with not having one, but he said the complaints just didn't feel right if he lied.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 06:06:58 pm
I knew it DDD, you're one of them. You are ONE OF THEM.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 16 February, 2009, 06:11:49 pm
We're all one of them. That's why we're here.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 16 February, 2009, 06:12:36 pm
Quote from: "Godpleton"
You are ONE OF THEM
You mean a giant ant?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 16 February, 2009, 06:14:56 pm
MANT! MANT! Run for the hills!

If the common ant was the size of a man, it would scare you witless.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2009, 06:31:55 pm
Quote
The point is just to have an *understanding* of how things work in this country regarding Law and Legislation and the difference between the two as hardly anyone does

Fair enough - as I said, I really haven't a notion myself how things are set up in England.  I suppose I just don't see the practical applications of this information so long as society in general is behind the programme.  It seems to me that precedent is all in most situations (even ones supposedly defined by contract), and if there were serious inconsistencies that could be applied to real-world situations, the legal profession would be exploiting these daily to feck up things even worse than they already are.  

I've had the misfortune to be involved in providing 'expert' submissions in various planning barneys, and time and again the developer (usually my client) will seize on the fact what he did or wants to do isn't explicitly ruled out by this year's local authority policy document, and I'll have to point out that under very clear national legislation and innumerable precedents it most certainly is ruled out in all cases, and he will deliberately fail to see which set of rules takes precedence until he wastes a very great deal of money and time shouting about it.  This all just sounds a bit like that.

Oh and:

Christopher Guest as Jack Skellington was the only actor whose performance didn't have to be animated in Nightmare Before Christmas.  However, make-up bills for his portrayal of Count Rugen in The Princess Bride brought the production to its knees, and had the knock-on effect of the dodginess of the costumes used by the little people playing the R.o.U.Ses.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 February, 2009, 07:16:45 pm
"Oh Jesus, you're lapsing into sporadic CAPITALS now, so take a deep breath and have a lie down. (Every time I see a word in angry capitals in a political post, it' like frothing spittle hitting the keyboard. And as I've mentioned before, typing FACT in capitals at the end is the internet equivalent of writing letters in green ink. It's as self-defeating as the phrase "trust me", in that it instantly flags up what you saying as potential bullshit.

And finally, you don't like conservatism, you don't like socialism and you don't like anarchy. Since you style yourself as a free-thinker who refuses to be bound by any consensus or movement (for which I read a disaffected lackwit without the brains or balls to stand behind any particular principal or formulate a positive political viewpoint), I guess the only state of affairs that could possibly satisfy you is the Glorious Dictatorship of Peterwolf. Seig Heil!"

I do try to ignore it i really do but SOMETIMES ........

Oh Jesus , I am using capitals to emphasise points.Dont assume its anger because it isnt.The posts are points of interest that were the core of a lecture given by John Harris to the British Constitution Group back in January and are the result of 2 yrs of research on the part of various individuals who put the work in studying it.

You assume a lot of things dont you ? [re:the 2nd paragraph of your post cut and pasted here] which are not worthy of comment on my part and i am going to resist the temptation to insult you back in return [you should think yourself lucky in that respect] other than to say that you dont understand what i am saying or what the Fuck you are talking about.

Quite honestly you have sunk *so* far down in my estimation that i really have no further comment for you now or at any time in the future.I have nothing but contempt for you.

You cant even differentiate between Politics and Constitution  :lol:  then you assume to understand my political beliefs and to add further insult you then assume i am a Nazi [and even name] after insulting my intelligence.You wouldnt last 5 minutes in a political debate.

Unbelievable and pathetic but not surprising unfortunately.Not in the least.

Thanks for finally confirming what i have suspected for some time.

Stupid beyond words.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 07:47:43 pm
Quote
Stupid beyond words.

I know you are, but what am I?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 16 February, 2009, 07:55:46 pm
Why does Milton Keynes smell of pear-drops?

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2009, 07:58:49 pm
Quote
Quote
Stupid beyond words
.

I know you are, but what am I?

I often wondered when this particular mode of discourse began, and recently found out when my toddler started it at 30 months.  "You're being very bold, Jack".  "No, YOU are very bold, Daddy".  Almost impossible to keep a straight face, although in ten years time I'm sure I'll want to strangle him for the same thing.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 February, 2009, 08:15:22 pm
Quote from: "Godpleton"
Quote
Stupid beyond words.

I know you are, but what am I?

Stupider.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JOE SOAP on 16 February, 2009, 08:21:35 pm
Quote from: "TordelBack"
I often wondered when this particular mode of discourse began, and recently found out when my toddler started it at 30 months.

you mean he's 2 and a half.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 16 February, 2009, 08:40:52 pm
Quote from: "peterwolf"
i really have no further comment for you now or at any time in the future.
This is like the board's version of a Krill Tro Thargo! I feel honoured.

And I wasn't calling you a Nazi, I was pointing out that since you seem to disagree with every political standpoint going, but don't like the idea of anarchy, what system would you proprose other than a benign dictatorship run by yourself? In other words, we know what you're against, but what are you for?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 08:45:53 pm
Quote
Stupider.

I know you are, but what am I?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2009, 08:54:36 pm
Quote
you mean he's 2 and a half.

Um, yes.  I suppose I just got into the habit of keeping track of 'development' stuff in months.  "Arguing at a philosophy post-grad level" is one of the milestones, donchano.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 16 February, 2009, 09:03:33 pm
I'll have you know that the main thing I learnt from my MA course is that I should be studying something else.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 16 February, 2009, 09:37:11 pm
Heh, me too. I think that's all anyone ever learns from an MA.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SuperSurfer on 16 February, 2009, 10:48:06 pm
All men in England are required to practice their archery every Sunday.

Or something like that.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 16 February, 2009, 10:48:47 pm
Quote from: "Godpleton"
Quote
Stupider.

I know you are, but what am I?

Ok then  a highly intelligent comic/sci-fi fan ?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 17 February, 2009, 07:54:25 am
Quote
Ok then a highly intelligent comic/sci-fi fan ?

I know you are, but what am I?

Damn...haven't got the hang of this.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 22 February, 2009, 10:24:35 am
When you have bisected an extraterrestrial visitor after it has inevitably 'perished' in a crash landing, they are terribly difficult to stick back together again. The best thing to use is a fish based glue and some clothes pegs. Make sure you stuff all of it's improbable organs back in before sealing it up. You don't want to think you're all done and then find a sentient pseudo-colon wandering about. Not so much a fact as some helpful advice.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SuperSurfer on 22 February, 2009, 04:11:52 pm
Quote from: "Matt Nicholson"
Quote from: "SuperSurfer"
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous.
Bulbous, also tapered.
Also a tin teardrop.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 24 February, 2009, 06:09:32 pm
Dragons' Den and The Apprentice are just as lame as other reality shows.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 25 February, 2009, 10:58:40 pm
Elvis once took a good hard look at Tom Jones' schlong.




This is not a blatant lie.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SuperSurfer on 26 February, 2009, 01:43:30 am
(Most) comics are crap.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 26 February, 2009, 09:31:31 pm
Some hitmen will take a pizza voucher as payment.

No, seriously. http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/26/graziano- ... d-hit-man/ (http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/26/graziano-father-arrested-hit-man/)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 26 February, 2009, 10:32:31 pm
I would right now as well.I could murder a Pizza........
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 March, 2009, 11:50:21 pm
America's Best Dance Crew is better than The Wire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYz4tUl1 ... re=popular (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYz4tUl183o&feature=popular)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 03 March, 2009, 02:05:45 pm
Guess who said this:

Quote
"Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing, O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not, what he did, was he not amazing though,"

Hint: He's a dick.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: satchmo on 03 March, 2009, 02:06:53 pm
Dick Cheney?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: M.I.K. on 03 March, 2009, 03:08:35 pm
Dick Dastardly?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 13 March, 2009, 08:40:24 pm
A hornet can chomp a bee into 6 bits in under 8 seconds if you put them in a jar together. Next time it's hornet vs slug. Should be interesting. And in contradiction to what you may have thought, hornets don't like tomato ketchup. Weird huh?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 15 March, 2009, 08:32:54 pm
Jeremy Clarksons books ,newspaper columns, and commentary or rants are Rubbish .
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: M.I.K. on 15 March, 2009, 09:01:11 pm
Lighthouses are actually quite heavy.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 March, 2009, 09:53:03 pm
But can they be lifted? Lifted? Liff-tedd? From the shadows?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Dandontdare on 15 March, 2009, 10:37:20 pm
are you drunk again?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 March, 2009, 10:40:31 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TtnfjOp0zQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TtnfjOp0zQ)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 15 March, 2009, 11:11:28 pm
I'm celibate.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 23 March, 2009, 08:47:25 am
FACT
certain states in america are considering making the brazilain wax style for females illegal.

there must be something in the constetution against this, if not then it damn well should be.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 28 April, 2009, 11:12:54 pm
"for my opinion " :

from that video i understand that :
britan gat talent is a fake show

she is profesional singer.

and all of her ridiculous image at the minit that she first entered to the stage in britan gat talent was staged by the editor of this show .
thay told her to act like that to get hige reacction from the audience.

she will win in that show it's clear.
but britan gat talent is fake show
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 26 May, 2009, 07:47:41 pm
Eating crisps immediately before brushing your teeth makes toothpaste taste good.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 26 May, 2009, 07:53:15 pm
Cheese and onion?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: zombemybabynow on 26 May, 2009, 08:30:11 pm
apart from david koresh, waco texas is famous for yummy dr. Pepper - created there in 1889.   also, if i ever tried to stick all the bogies back up my nose that had ever come out.  there'd be like too many!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 31 May, 2009, 06:37:52 pm
The real reason for the Wagner/Grant breakup was that they found themselves on opposite sides of the Bloods vs Crips war.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Bouwel on 31 May, 2009, 06:47:59 pm
I now have a West Side Story dance fight image in my mind featuring opposing comic book writers.

Hmm.

-Bouwel-
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: I, Cosh on 31 May, 2009, 07:21:05 pm
Quote from: "Bouwel"
I now have a West Side Story dance fight image in my mind featuring opposing comic book writers.

Hmm.

-Bouwel-
I like to be in America
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 31 May, 2009, 08:10:49 pm
I forgot to mention that I had a haircut. It's well cartoony.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 June, 2009, 08:22:43 am
KUNG FU
was pitched and orignal screen play written by Bruce lee, at the time KATO in the green hornet.

thats true that is,
the company that broadcast it wanted a less chinese face, hence david got the job,
which had our bruce go back to hongkong and start golden harvest pictures.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 08 June, 2009, 08:24:05 am
CARROTS Are GOOD FOR YOUR EYES

 take a look at any bunny rabbit, ever seen one in glasses, there. true fact.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Kerrin on 08 June, 2009, 01:26:47 pm
Combustible monkey hang gliders are one of Leonardo Da Vinci's less well known inventions. This is mainly due to them being outlawed by the fourth Papal convention of High Wyecombe.

Before that they were surprisingly popular.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 08 June, 2009, 02:20:57 pm
Things that I don't like should be banned.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Peter Wolf on 02 August, 2009, 04:59:14 pm
The war of independence or civil war in the US was never actually won because the US has been paying a dividend to its financial controllers in the City of London ever since the US outwardly won its independence from the UK in 1865.

Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 09 August, 2009, 10:54:41 pm
1). I'm the "good" child.

2). Even after his public humiliation, Geese Howard was still one of Walter Mondale's most trusted advisors
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JOE SOAP on 09 August, 2009, 11:30:18 pm
The war of independence or civil war in the US was never actually won because the US has been paying a dividend to its financial controllers in the City of London ever since the US outwardly won its independence from the UK in 1865.



don't forget Cecil Rhodes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 05 April, 2010, 11:33:33 pm
Right Guard > Sure for Men
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 01 March, 2011, 07:45:43 pm
The black kid who murders Edward Norton's brother at the end of American History X was played by King Trout.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 November, 2011, 08:49:43 pm
The Doors album L.A. Woman would be a better record if it was called Law? O, Man...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Trout on 10 November, 2011, 09:15:30 pm
The black kid who murders Edward Norton's brother at the end of American History X was played by King Trout.

Dammit! I can't believe you revealed this and I didn't even notice!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 10 November, 2011, 09:21:06 pm
Everyone needs to know what you did to perpetuate the endless cycle of hatred.

Joe Soap is the guy who is unkind towards Edward Norton in prison.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: I, Cosh on 10 November, 2011, 09:26:44 pm
I regularly pass off the one about snakes growing up to 30 feet as my own.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 11 November, 2011, 10:34:00 am
Stone henge
was in fact meant to be a small set of benches and chairs for the locals made from local sourced products, then they called in an advisor and consultant for the project.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SpetsnaZ99 on 11 November, 2011, 11:29:16 am
Stone henge
was in fact meant to be a small set of benches and chairs for the locals made from local sourced products, then they called in an advisor and consultant for the project.

That is true. They then went on to become heavy metal stage set designers most notably for Spinal Tap. They still have trouble understanding feet (') and inches (")
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: James Stacey on 11 November, 2011, 11:37:39 am
In all fairness it's not their job to be as confused as Nigel
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 November, 2011, 02:34:01 pm
They were only making plans for him.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 18 November, 2011, 05:31:01 am
They were only making plans for him

wasted on the young pups around here, best response line of the week!

FACT
it is illegal to eat MINCE PIES before December 1st each year.
so put them back in the cupboard.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SpetsnaZ99 on 18 November, 2011, 08:09:58 am
FACT
it is illegal to eat MINCE PIES before December 1st each year.
so put them back in the cupboard.

Its also fact that mince pies found in the cupboard leftover from last christmas make excellent air hockey pucks, this is enhanced due to there unpredictable explosive quality
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 11 February, 2012, 08:25:52 pm
The goth hacker girl from NCIS is 42.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Emperor on 13 February, 2012, 08:39:15 pm
The goth hacker girl from NCIS is 42.

So she is.

She was also married to a vexatious litigant called Coyote Shivers. Only in America.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Emperor on 13 February, 2012, 08:51:19 pm
Kind of an anti-fact:

The world's longest poo was not 26 feet long, despite what my "What's Your Poo Telling You?" calendar (http://www.calendarclub.co.uk/p-1763-whats-your-poo-telling-you-2012-desk-calendar.aspx)* claims (and what I told anyone who stopped long enough in my vicinity, after reading about it).

Quote
In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet. I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results. The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.

With photos:
http://web.archive.org/web/20090203212653/http://intermaweb.net/index.php/2005/10/29/world-record-4-peristaltic-action/

All lies apparently:

Quote
"I think people want to believe," surmises the artist. Her World Records could only seem authentic in a world where so many extreme acts have resulted in so much art for so long. Last year at another gallery, Hines exhibited stills from World Record #4: Peristaltic Action, in which she supposedly deposited the world's longest shit down the length of a bowling alley. And she fooled people there too (since, according to New Art Examiner, some gallery goers were offended). Hines says her series is about the quest for immortality and the absurd lengths one will go to be remembered. She dares to parody work which has always been treated with reverence by vanguard artists, even if others regarded it as masochism or madness.

www.villagevoice.com/1998-12-08/news/let-s-make-an-ordeal/

As this record now appears to be vacant, could I volunteer Roger to take a... crack at it? Don't pooh pooh the idea too quickly!! Think about it for a bit and when you log on give me your answer.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: bigjobs67 on 13 February, 2012, 09:40:58 pm
The Welsh have no word for 'Plate'.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: The Enigmatic Dr X on 13 February, 2012, 09:45:21 pm
Things that I don't like should be banned.

Things you do like are banned.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Gonk on 14 February, 2012, 10:26:33 am
Alcohol is a drug and kills more people each year than heroin and crack cocaine combined.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: James Stacey on 14 February, 2012, 10:38:37 am
The Welsh have no word for 'Plate'.

Other than 'dysgl', which is Welsh for 'plate'. Traditionally however, the Welsh language did not distinguish between 'green' and 'blue' as colours. Which is more interesting.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SpetsnaZ99 on 14 February, 2012, 01:17:35 pm
Kind of an anti-fact:

The world's longest poo

Quote
With photos:
http://web.archive.org/web/20090203212653/http://intermaweb.net/index.php/2005/10/29/world-record-4-peristaltic-action/


Is that on a bowling lane?
Wheres the respect gone?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Emperor on 14 February, 2012, 02:23:17 pm
Kind of an anti-fact:

The world's longest poo

Quote
With photos:
http://web.archive.org/web/20090203212653/http://intermaweb.net/index.php/2005/10/29/world-record-4-peristaltic-action/


Is that on a bowling lane?
Wheres the respect gone?

Well you'd need a long flat area to lay it, so it'd be either that or a church.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Gonk on 14 February, 2012, 03:29:13 pm
How long does it take to pass a giant stool like that? Is it like tantric sex where it lasts for hours?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Emperor on 14 February, 2012, 03:33:48 pm
How long does it take to pass a giant stool like that? Is it like tantric sex where it lasts for hours?

I'd imagine once a bad boy like that begins to rear its ugly head then the trick is being able to move forward at a brisk enough pace to ensure even extrusion. The key to it being fakery is she claims to have waddle the 26 feet when you'd probably need to be on a skateboard once the (butt) plug is pulled.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Gonk on 14 February, 2012, 03:41:34 pm
Going by the time on those video stills it took around just over half an hour to dump that load. That might qualify for a tantric plop.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: bigjobs67 on 14 February, 2012, 05:43:32 pm
Up until 1975. The Honduran police force was staffed solely by women. FACT!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 30 August, 2012, 04:25:35 pm
Comics are for Kids, get over it
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: NapalmKev on 30 August, 2012, 05:05:39 pm
Fact: the World is not overpopulated; it's just very badly managed!

Viva la revolution  :P
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: NapalmKev on 10 September, 2012, 02:47:52 pm
Fact: the Dredd film is amazing

Fiction: and so is the Conservative party

 :D
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: SmallBlueThing on 01 October, 2012, 03:22:59 pm
In 1926 the brilliantly-named Jethro Arscott Esq donated £100 to Bexhill hospital, so becoming the first publically-named benefactor. In 2012, i read the sign telling me this, and the giggle it gave me temporarily eased the pain in my foot.

SBT
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: COMMANDO FORCES on 23 January, 2013, 07:27:55 pm
Each day last year in London, an average of 158 iPhones were stolen :o
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tiplodocus on 24 January, 2013, 11:43:19 pm
Dvd and bluray sales mean there will be a sequel to Dredd.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 25 January, 2013, 09:25:51 am
Each day last year in London, an average of 158 iPhones were stolen :o
It's all part of an elaborate plan by a teenage mastermind to take out the worlds greatest detective and become god. Anyone who get's this has my respect.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: zombemybabynow on 25 January, 2013, 09:57:50 am
Good manners and bad breath: get you nowhere

mcmanus 1980
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 25 January, 2013, 10:44:01 am
It has been illegal to import haggis into the US since 1971.

It's also Burns night tonight.  Jings, crivvens, help m'boab!

To add to my facting glee, it's payday for me, which will mean a nice haggis from Cardiff market and a cheap bottle of whisky from Sainsburys.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mardroid on 27 January, 2013, 04:18:21 pm
Haggis. That's one thing I've never tried. Not from distaste or anything like that, mind.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 27 January, 2013, 04:41:29 pm
Haggis. That's one thing I've never tried. Not from distaste or anything like that, mind.

Me neither. I'd definitely give it a try, though with no disrespect to the numerous Scotch* boarders, it sounds fucking dreadful.


*Sorry, I can't help myself
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Spikes on 27 January, 2013, 06:16:48 pm
Salt on porridge, as well. What's all that about?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mister Pops on 27 January, 2013, 06:51:23 pm
Salt on porridge, as well. What's all that about?

Stops the slugs from stealing it when you're not looking.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 27 January, 2013, 08:43:40 pm
Dalmatians are the most common bread of dog that are readily succeptable to heradatory ailments such as colour blindness and deafness.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mardroid on 27 January, 2013, 09:20:10 pm
Salt on porridge, as well. What's all that about?

I know it seems weird but I've found it actually works. Just a tiny bit mind as it goes a long way, and and as an addendum to sugar (preferably the brown variety) or honey, not an alternative. It's nice enough without it though, and but it adds something. To state the obvious...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Albion on 01 February, 2013, 09:43:35 am
On this day in 1949 RCA Records issued the first 45rpm single.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 01 February, 2013, 10:56:15 am
Small chirdren can choke on rodents.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Spikes on 01 February, 2013, 01:49:14 pm
Whale vomit (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-21254718) is worth a bob or two.
If anybody needs me ill be down the seafront @ Cleethorpes.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 01 February, 2013, 02:57:11 pm
Robert 'Bob' DeNiro translated into cherokee is ' Man who smells of wee'
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Mister Pops on 01 February, 2013, 06:36:06 pm
Of all the mammals, homosexuality is most common amongst bats.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 01 February, 2013, 07:25:13 pm
Of all the mammals, homosexuality is most common amongst bats.
They don't tend to hang around. :lol:
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Albion on 25 February, 2013, 03:40:14 pm
Actor Andrew Lincoln's father-in-law is flute playing rocker Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Albion on 25 February, 2013, 03:46:42 pm
Actor Andrew Lincoln's father-in-law is flute playing rocker Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.

I'd love to see Ian Anderson appear in the show playing his flute and leading the zombies away like the pied piper.


(Quoteing myself here as I can't find the edit button!)
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Spikes on 17 March, 2013, 08:01:45 pm
Walter the Wobot appeared in the Cursed Earth saga. Only noticed that relatively recently.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: strontium71 on 17 March, 2013, 08:15:43 pm
Sexy Pop-Minx Eliza Doolittle's mother is failed Eurovision Pop-Minx Frances Ruffelle , who in turn is daughter to theatre school founder , and one-time Minx , Sylvia Young.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 17 March, 2013, 11:23:51 pm
Actor Andrew Lincoln's father-in-law is flute playing rocker Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.

I'd love to see Ian Anderson appear in the show playing his flute and leading the zombies away like the pied piper.


(Quoteing myself here as I can't find the edit button!)

As it happens, my mum used to sing in one of Ian Anderson's first bands. The band would practice in my grandfathers garage. He caught up with her a few years back, and took her out to dinner when he swung by Edinburgh for a few days.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 30 January, 2018, 04:49:04 pm
Fact: Its been a while!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 07 February, 2018, 12:16:30 pm
Fact; its been a week  :o
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 07 February, 2018, 12:23:21 pm
Fact: the small speedy little blue mammals you see in the corner of your vision, aren't real!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: ming on 08 February, 2018, 12:08:35 pm
Fact: Embarrassed goats look sheepish.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 08 February, 2018, 10:21:00 pm
The ancient Greeks didn't have a word for 'blue', and in fact classified colours in a completely different way from us moderns.  Or did we do that one already?
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: TordelBack on 08 February, 2018, 10:53:58 pm
Lots of cultures classify colours differently (look at Irish!), but the idea that Greeks (and others) didn't recognise or even see blue* because they didnt have a specific word for it winds me up.  I'd direct anyone to look at Minoan painting,  one of the key cultural influences in the proto-Greek world: they certainly used a lot of something they didn't perceive as a colour.


*Not that that's what Jayzus said.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 08 February, 2018, 11:25:08 pm


*Not that that's what Jayzus said.

Absolutely not; I've been researching it extensively while researching colour theory to teach my art class.  Russians consider light blue a completely different colour from darker blues, and as such do far better than we would when matching shades of blue in tests.
But then, we don't call red 'light red' when it's mixed with white either, do we?

Still hard to get the head around a sunny country not having a word for the colour of a clear sky. 

Also, bees see UV 'landing lights' on flower petals that we can't see, and garden spiders use UV to weave fake versions  into their webs.  I may well have thrown that fact into this thread before; I love the fact that miniature equivalents of Wile E Coyote's painted tunnels exist in the insect / arachnid world.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 10 February, 2018, 11:16:41 am


*Not that that's what Jayzus said.
Still hard to get the head around a sunny country not having a word for the colour of a clear sky. 

one the 'only' colour on their flag...
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Proudhuff on 10 February, 2018, 11:17:37 am
Fact: American hinges are horizontal not vertical!
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 11 February, 2018, 06:04:15 pm


*Not that that's what Jayzus said.
Still hard to get the head around a sunny country not having a word for the colour of a clear sky. 

one the 'only' colour on their flag...

To be fair, I'd imagine the modern Greeks have a word for blue.
Title: Re: Get Fact!
Post by: Tjm86 on 11 February, 2018, 06:08:08 pm
.... and we Brits have a word for 'throwing someone out a window.'