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General Chat => Music => Topic started by: Professor Bear on 23 April, 2014, 09:00:36 pm

Title: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 23 April, 2014, 09:00:36 pm
I try not to listen to the radio anymore because hearing modern pop music makes my brain angry at those responsible, but exposure is sadly inevitable: when I visit the gym and don't have my headphones in, when I'm out shopping in places where there's a radio going or that has a music channel on - it's unavoidable, so I'm going to bitch about it here when it happens rather than just putting the relevant names on the list I keep in my pocket of people I'm going to kill with a tank if I ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness. 
I throw the floor open to hear your thoughts on that racket the kids call "the charts", maybe you can even clear up something I don't want to Google: that Jessie J is a drag act, yeah?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 23 April, 2014, 09:49:05 pm
that Jessie J is a drag act, yeah?

If you mean that she's a crude copy of something, that looks similar enough from a distance to fool some people, but when you examine it turns out to be entirely bereft of the thing you imagined might prove interesting, then yes.

I've mentioned it before, but the awful result of country acts party crashing dance music (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpX6EgfO8aPIBrlHfktk5iAn6oNNPcmvp&feature=mh_lolz) (and vice versa) makes me despair. Ke$ha and Pitbull are preparing the way for Miley Cyrus's ascendancy in the same way as Sigourney Weaver's lock keeper fucking Rick Moranis's key master opened the door for Gozer in Ghostbusters.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 23 April, 2014, 10:13:04 pm
'Don't You Worry Child' by Swedish House Mafia crystallises everything I hate about rock music (dreary and awful Nickelback-alike vocals) with everything I hate about dance music (weak, dated and cheesy House production) in one song.

Anything to do with Black Eyed Peas. Anyone over toddler-age who listens to their music should be ashamed of themselves.

Rihanna must have one of the least pleasant, most grating singing voices I've ever heard.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 23 April, 2014, 10:29:16 pm

I actually quite like this tune (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESXgJ9-H-2U), but Keisza can't really sing (same shrill nasal quality as Cilla Black) and the video is just Bittersweet Symphony with jazz hands.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 23 April, 2014, 10:35:42 pm
First of all, this:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k6Lb3kFwJRQ

Secondly, do you remember as a kid when you used to swivel the volume knob on the record player back and forth quickly, 'cos you enjoyed the novelty of the sound of your favourite single increasing and decreasing, plus it annoyed your dad? Remember how quickly the novelty wore off?

I have to endure the radio in work, and currently there is a track out whereby someone turning the volume up and down quickly over a sample appears to be the main feature. It is driving me fucking BATSHIT INSANE!!!!!

I know it is the prerogative of the middle-aged to despise the music currently enjoyed by the youngsters, but SERIOUSLY??? How the fuck is that music?!?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 23 April, 2014, 10:41:50 pm
Ugh, I think I'd launch myself out of the nearest window if I had to endure pop radio all day every day. Just the repetition alone is unbearable. I used to work in an office where we had a compromise of one day of 6 Music, then one day of Radio 1, and I still bristle whenever I hear certain songs from around 2006/7 that were burned into my brain as a result.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Fungus on 23 April, 2014, 11:04:33 pm
Youngsters eat dirt and relatively few of them are High Court judges.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: NapalmKev on 24 April, 2014, 08:39:51 am
Anyone remember this?

http://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A

Truly Crap!

I would also like to nominate all of Skrillex's solo output!

Cheers
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: I, Cosh on 24 April, 2014, 08:48:26 am
Secondly, do you remember as a kid when you used to swivel the volume knob on the record player back and forth quickly, 'cos you enjoyed the novelty of the sound of your favourite single increasing and decreasing, plus it annoyed your dad? Remember how quickly the novelty wore off?
Nope.

Next you'll be claiming that electric guitars sound better if you learn some chords like a chin-stroking jazzo rather than just turning all the nobs up to eleven and messing around with the feedback.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: TordelBack on 24 April, 2014, 09:20:31 am
A bunch of scaffolding pot-bellies passing lewd judgements on the schoolgirls passing below, that's what you're like:  it's not meant for you.

But no, if what passes for contemporary popular music doth offend my ears, then so does much of the sludge that pours forth from the missus' favourite 80's radio station.  I think most of the 'acts' (for that is what they are) that lurk in the TV stations out beyond the kids' channels are perfectly capable of delivering the odd decent singalong tune: even Miley Cyrus.  But in the absence of any real creative process or winnowing, there's nothing of substance.

The state of that
.


Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 24 April, 2014, 09:31:55 am
Secondly, do you remember as a kid when you used to swivel the volume knob on the record player back and forth quickly, 'cos you enjoyed the novelty of the sound of your favourite single increasing and decreasing, plus it annoyed your dad? Remember how quickly the novelty wore off?
Nope.

Next you'll be claiming that electric guitars sound better if you learn some chords like a chin-stroking jazzo rather than just turning all the nobs up to eleven and messing around with the feedback.

I was at a gig in Cardiff EXACTLY LIKE THAT last weekend.  Apart from the headline act (Witches Drum, bloody amazing stuff!) the other 'acts' hurt my fucking brain, so I stood outside with my compadres for most of it.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Recrewt on 24 April, 2014, 11:16:26 am
Yeah, I'm also of that age where I start to wonder about some of the music that the 'kids' listen to nowadays but TB hit it on the head - it's not really aimed at me and any complaining just makes you sound like a miserable old bugger! 

Pop music nowadays is really no better or worse than it has been in the past, the majority of pop music is always dross interspersed with the odd gem.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: CrazyFoxMachine on 24 April, 2014, 11:44:35 am
Tordelback is king.

One of the biggest selling singles of the swinging psychedelic 60s? Ken Dodd
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Mister Pops on 24 April, 2014, 01:03:52 pm
I stopped listening to the radio once I was old enough to figure out that's where the horrible noise was coming from
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Radbacker on 24 April, 2014, 01:12:45 pm
i suddenly realised how old I was when I heard that Dub step stuff and thought what the f&*k is this sh&t you cant call trhat music.  Bam suddenly I was my father :)

CU Radbacker
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 24 April, 2014, 01:39:32 pm
i suddenly realised how old I was when I heard that Dub step stuff and thought what the f&*k is this sh&t you cant call trhat music.  Bam suddenly I was my father :)

CU Radbacker

I couldn't even tell you what dubstep is.  I wouldn't recognise it if I heard it.

I totally agree re the whole 'Dad' feeling.  Mine couldn't understand what I saw in Gary Moore and Iron Maiden, despite being a massive Stones/Hendrix and general rock counterculture fan himself.

Thankfully, the worst my kids have assaulted my ears with so far is One Direction, which while still ferkin grim (and surprisingly one of the few things me and the ex agree on!) at least has a tune.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Proudhuff on 24 April, 2014, 02:00:59 pm
my radio nearly went out the window when there was a young whinger whining about being Huummmen, vocal acrobatics aren't big or clever, less is more people.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Fungus on 24 April, 2014, 02:02:35 pm
I stopped listening to the radio once I was old enough to figure out that's where the horrible noise was coming from

 :D

Your comment is my pick, Mister Pops.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: TordelBack on 24 April, 2014, 05:11:37 pm
I stopped listening to the radio once I was old enough to figure out that's where the horrible noise was coming from

 :D

Your comment is my pick, Mister Pops.

Hah, a great line!  Rest assured I'll be passing that one off without attribution to impress the fellows at my club, Pops!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 24 April, 2014, 05:12:54 pm
Quote
If what passes for contemporary popular music doth offend my ears, then so does much of the sludge that pours forth from the missus' favourite 80's radio station.

Oh, absolutely. I think there's a lot of rose-tinted spectacles and revisionism that goes along with musical history, and it's as foolish as it is predictable to state that all music released since your own adolescense is culturally worthless. Some people would have you believe that everyone used to listen to The Clash, but a quick glance at old charts and TotP2 shows that really wasn't the case.

Being totally honest - there's a fair bit of modern pop that I don't find totally offensive - say what you want about 'Umbrella', 'Poker Face', 'California Gurlz' etc etc - they're great pop songs (Black Eyed Peas not so much). It's not for me, it's not aimed at me, and that's fine. I certainly wouldn't expect my young nieces and nephews to like the music I listen to. Likewise, boybands and novelty acts are nothing new.

What is different now, what the OP was getting at and what I had a bitch about in the 'Grind My Gears' thread, is that pop is so inescapable now. Pop music used to be confined to Radio 1 and The Chart Show, now it assaults your ears on every ad, in every shop, in car parks, when you're on hold on the phone. It's this assumption that everyone wants to listen to One Direction that bugs the shit out of me.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 24 April, 2014, 05:44:29 pm
One of the biggest selling singles of the swinging psychedelic 60s? Ken Dodd

... and Engelbert Humperdink famously kept Strawberry Fields Forever off the number one spot (http://www.officialcharts.com/archive-chart/_/1/1967-03-11/). You don't have to reach for the grannies favourites to prove that not everything from the sixties was sprinkled with fairy dust - half of every album the aforementioned mop tops recorded is forgettable dreck, the Stones committed hours of tedious wank to vinyl, and if you can make it past tracks 3 and 4 of any 'Greatest Hits' compilation by Hendrix, The Hollies, The Kinks, Cream, Zeppelin, Sabbath, The Pistols, The Smiths, Nirvana, Oasis or whoever, you've more patience than me.

The popular culture output of any era (and in any medium) is primarily composed of worthless landfill; we only remember the few good examples which happened to have some wider cultural resonance or some personal appeal to us as individuals.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: TordelBack on 24 April, 2014, 05:50:09 pm
It's this assumption that everyone wants to listen to One Direction that bugs the shit out of me.

True, true - although now that my 4-yr old bops along to One Dimension, I can't tell the difference between my home life and the noxious audio assaults of the public sphere.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 24 April, 2014, 06:01:31 pm
See, I grew up when the dregs of punk and 80s electronic stuff were giving way to going-mental-on-drugs rave music.   What gets on my tits way worse than stuff like Rihanna and Lady Gaga (both of whom have some really catchy songs) are what are to me the insipid drones of Coldplay and the whiny moping of singer-songwriters like James Blunt.

As long as I remember there's been manufactured lowest-common-denomination music.  For every Happy Mondays or Depeche Mode hit there were about ten far more popular Stock Aitken and Waterman ones.  The Monkees began life as a TV show.  Even the Sex Pistols were manufactured by a fashion boutique in London (not that I'd ever say that to Johnny Rotten's face).
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: 8-Ball on 24 April, 2014, 07:35:31 pm
The popular culture output of any era (and in any medium) is primarily composed of worthless landfill; we only remember the few good examples which happened to have some wider cultural resonance or some personal appeal to us as individuals.

That hit home to me when BBC4 started repeating full episodes of TOTP as well as viewing more recent episodes (80s & 90s stuff) on YouTube. I had weaned myself on a diet of TOTP2 compilations so I thought it was spangly hits all year round. Most popular music is shit, purchased on a whim and discarded like fish and chip wrapping paper.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Proudhuff on 24 April, 2014, 08:18:33 pm
One of the biggest selling singles of the swinging psychedelic 60s? Ken Dodd

... and Engelbert Humperdink famously kept Strawberry Fields Forever off the number one spot (http://www.officialcharts.com/archive-chart/_/1/1967-03-11/).
The popular culture output of any era (and in any medium) is primarily composed of worthless landfill;

A bity harsh, but yes Strawberry Fields was that bad.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 24 April, 2014, 08:42:13 pm
A bity harsh, but yes Strawberry Fields was that bad

This version (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp6Wc9IQ1w0) starts off like Thomas The Tank Engine.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 24 April, 2014, 09:32:43 pm
Quote
What gets on my tits way worse than stuff like Rihanna and Lady Gaga (both of whom have some really catchy songs) are what are to me the insipid drones of Coldplay and the whiny moping of singer-songwriters like James Blunt.

I always feel a bit compelled to stand up for bands like Coldplay - yeah they're a bit bland and derivative, but it's always seemed strange to me to single them in particular out in a world where Nickelback exist. I also find those awful major label-backed US rock/emo bands with hilariously overwrought, juvenile and self-pitying lyrics far more objectionable.

Quote
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding!
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 24 April, 2014, 11:30:50 pm
A bity harsh, but yes Strawberry Fields was that bad

This version (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp6Wc9IQ1w0) starts off like Thomas The Tank Engine.

Don't knock it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGxqDW2F3L4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGxqDW2F3L4)
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 25 April, 2014, 12:48:12 am
I always feel a bit compelled to stand up for bands like Coldplay - yeah they're a bit bland and derivative, but it's always seemed strange to me to single them in particular out in a world where Nickelback exist. I also find those awful major label-backed US rock/emo bands with hilariously overwrought, juvenile and self-pitying lyrics far more objectionable.

I can't speak for others, but to me the problem with MOR is that it represents and says nothing, and Coldplay are no different to me than Nickleback or Garth Brooks - different musical genres, but they're still the same pointless, aimless, tune-free dirges that tick boxes to appeal to their audiences.
By contrast, the seemingly safe target of nu-metal standard bearers Papa Roach that you hold up above are at least nailing some colours to the mast.  The self-pitying lyrics you gleefully mock were from a song about the writer's personal experiences with childhood depression and self-harm and how it was dismissed as attention-seeking - bluntly tangible subject matter that led to productive discussion among younger music fans at the time about their own similar problems.  I suspect the same can't be said for pop songs where 90 percent of the lyrics  are the word "baby" and "yeah", or turgid shit like Coldplay's "Fix You", a song cynically constructed to be used on soundtracks, yet if you examine the lyrics, the song is not actually about anything.

Mind you, I still see relentless bile spewed at Billy Bragg not because of his political agenda, but because he has a political agenda.  I suppose when so much of music is artifice and facade, I imagine even the clumsiest appearance of earnestness or sincerity might be a bit off-putting.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 25 April, 2014, 01:19:49 am
Meh, pretty sure that some of the greatest songs ever written aren't particularly 'about' anything and their apparently 'meaningless' lyrics still resonate with millions of people without having to be so on the nose as to be cringeworthy.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 25 April, 2014, 07:13:29 am
turgid shit like Coldplay's "Fix You", a song cynically constructed to be used on soundtracks, yet if you examine the lyrics, the song is not actually about anything

I think it's perfectly clear what that song is about:


When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you




There are lots of good rhymes for the word face, the word face isn't one of them. Neither is the word face again. How will lights ignite my bones, Chris, and why?

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 25 April, 2014, 07:27:41 am
Meh, pretty sure that some of the greatest songs ever written aren't particularly 'about' anything and their apparently 'meaningless' lyrics still resonate with millions of people without having to be so on the nose as to be cringeworthy

Firestarter, Tutti Frutti, and Venus In Furs are patently nonsense on a lyrical level, but communicate a definite meaning through rhythm, mood, and melody. The aforementioned Coldplay song communicates nothing, goes nowhere musically, is devoid of atmosphere, and the only contexts within which it makes any sense at all are on the stereo of a Ford Galaxy making the school run or in a sea of well scrubbed faces, bathed in smartphone light and transformed by the knowledge that this is an anthem at a Coldplay stadium show.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: TordelBack on 25 April, 2014, 08:36:35 am
...Venus In Furs [is] patently nonsense on a lyrical level...

Point of order!  ViF lyrics paint an idealised picture of S&M and sexual decadence of some interest to lonely teenagers, afficionados of the original book, and doubly so to those who have read Gene Wolfe and wrongly infer a connection.

Tutti Frutti you can have.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 25 April, 2014, 09:27:03 am
Where do you guys weigh in on the whole Pink Floyd debate?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: NapalmKev on 25 April, 2014, 09:59:07 am
Where do you guys weigh in on the whole Pink Floyd debate?

Some good, some bad.

'The Wall' is excellent, and my favorite of their output. 'Dark Side of...' I also like, but not so keen on the rest of their music*


Cheers


* What the fuck was 'Saucer full of Secrets' all about?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 25 April, 2014, 11:29:02 am
The guys in work constantly take the piss out of me when Pink Floyd comes on.  They find it almost totally dull, turgid, meaningless stuff.

It's very weird for me, because in the social circles I hang out in almost everyone loves Pink Floyd, including myself.

The two extremes are bizarre to me.  I could understand it if it were individuals, but two large and disparate groups are polar opposites.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Colin YNWA on 25 April, 2014, 11:54:20 am
While I'm not a fan of Pink Floyd at all I do really like Flaming Lips and Cos cover of the album. Just goes to show with a more imaginative bunch that the Floyd songs can be fun (ducks for cover as he expects a volley of abuse)

http://consequenceofsound.net/2010/01/album-review-the-flaming-lips-the-flaming-lips-and-stardeath-and-white-dwarfs-with-henry-rollins-and-peaches-doing-the-dark-side-of-the-moon/ (http://consequenceofsound.net/2010/01/album-review-the-flaming-lips-the-flaming-lips-and-stardeath-and-white-dwarfs-with-henry-rollins-and-peaches-doing-the-dark-side-of-the-moon/)

Mind fair to say its very hard to find a positive review of the record, but then what do critics know!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 25 April, 2014, 01:20:52 pm
Meh, pretty sure that some of the greatest songs ever written aren't particularly 'about' anything and their apparently 'meaningless' lyrics still resonate with millions of people without having to be so on the nose as to be cringeworthy.

And yet the following is from one of the "greatest songs ever (apparantly), and not something written in a primary school classroom:

Quote
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today.

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 26 April, 2014, 12:07:21 am
Where do you guys weigh in on the whole Pink Floyd debate?

Apart from the Syd Barrett stuff, I don't like them.  Never did.  I don't like their music or their lyrics, and I particularly don't like the way people ruin perfectly good parties by getting their guitars out and playing 'Wish You Were Here'. 
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Mister Pops on 26 April, 2014, 12:23:42 am
Where do you guys weigh in on the whole Pink Floyd debate?

Apart from the Syd Barrett stuff, I don't like them.  Never did.  I don't like their music or their lyrics, and I particularly don't like the way people ruin perfectly good parties by getting their guitars out and playing 'Wish You Were Here'.

Ah here now, that's hardly Pink Floyd's fault. That's an entirely seperate issue: Wankers With Acoustic Guitars.
They are the on the lowest rung of the musicians ladder. Their main sins being faux earnest renditions of songs which require only the most rudimentary playing ability. In many cases songs I once liked, or at least tolerated. Songs such as:

Time of Your Life by Greenday
The Needle and the Damage Done by Neil Young (usually it's that song but Neil has written quite a few songs fit for butchery)
Anything by Dylan
Everybody Hurts by REM
Summer of 69 by Brian Adams
Anything from Nirvana's unplugged album
Several Johnny Cash Songs
The Gambler by Kenny Rogers

Nobody ever enjoys it. In fact I started noticing around the age of 25, that most of my mates didn't even bother politely applaud at these performances.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 26 April, 2014, 09:39:23 am

Ah here now, that's hardly Pink Floyd's fault. That's an entirely seperate issue: Wankers With Acoustic Guitars....


Ha! Fair enough.
The latest song these evil people use to ruin other people's night is that Mumford and Sons song that says 'fuck'.
Stop it. Please.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JamesC on 26 April, 2014, 10:28:44 am
I can tolerate most music in the right environment.
Something like Pharrell's "Happy" is great for a teenage party or a wedding disco and will work great on a feel good film soundtrack. Played once an hour on the work radio on a Wednesday it drives up the fucking wall.

The thing that annoys me more than anything is the music industry itself. It's the way the same tired old tropes are trotted out time after time (it's telling that Blink 182s fifteen year old video for All the Small Things still works as a parody of boy bands).

I sometimes wonder if the drug taking and the resulting young deaths aren't part of the same problem (I think they probably are). It's no wonder you get tired of the same old things coming around and around as you get older.

I'd love to see something new.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 26 April, 2014, 10:44:04 am
I'm finding I'm actually enjoying music the older it is. I've been dredging the past for all kinds if cool stuff. I'm currently at the 14th Century Welsh Folk Music stage. They knew how to party!!!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 26 April, 2014, 12:12:48 pm

Ah here now, that's hardly Pink Floyd's fault. That's an entirely seperate issue: Wankers With Acoustic Guitars....


Ha! Fair enough.
The latest song these evil people use to ruin other people's night is that Mumford and Sons song that says 'fuck'.
Stop it. Please.

I find the "Belushi Manoeuvre" works best!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 29 April, 2014, 10:31:31 pm
I worked in a charity shop for 6 months and all that was ever played was 4music. Utter shite. Rihanna, One Direction? Utter tosh.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: ZenArcade on 29 April, 2014, 10:38:05 pm
I am and have always will be a Punk Rocker. There's a country full of damn good, sturdy well finished concrete walls waiting for the likes of them! Z
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 29 April, 2014, 11:12:39 pm

Ah here now, that's hardly Pink Floyd's fault. That's an entirely seperate issue: Wankers With Acoustic Guitars....


Ha! Fair enough.
The latest song these evil people use to ruin other people's night is that Mumford and Sons song that says 'fuck'.
Stop it. Please.

That reminds me of one of my parties about 20 years ago where an uninvited guest decided to sing Led Zepp's 'Gallows Pole' in a bass-baritone voice ALL FUCKING NIGHT. 
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dog Deever on 25 August, 2014, 08:32:55 pm
I dislike 'background music', that's just there- the bland crappy stuff that you just zone out. It's not doing anything, it has no point. Music should make you either want to actively listen, or actively turn that shit off. If  you don't love it or hate it, then it's a bit pointless.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 25 August, 2014, 08:44:43 pm
I don't get that argument at all. What about parties or social gatherings? Or something fairly neutral for the office stereo/road trip?

There's a reason faintly pleasant, inoffensive music exists. Certain situations call for a kind of soundtrack that is 'nice' - not too heavy or abrasive to irritate people, not too out-there or noodly to alienate them, and it's always good to have a few of these kind of playlists knocking about.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dog Deever on 25 August, 2014, 09:25:04 pm
It's not really a line argument- I'm not trying to persuade anyone to like what I like or hate what I hate. 'Personal taste' doesn't have to make logical sense, it's just there.

I don't really go to parties much, they're pretty tedious affairs at my age; but I go to gigs and if I don't like the music, and want to talk someone, I go outside where the music doesn't stop me from hearing people. If the music is good, I listen to the music and don't really bother talking to anyone when it's on.
On the few occasions I have been to a party in recent memory, background music that no-one is really listening to is just fucking annoying when you're trying to talk or hear someone.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 26 August, 2014, 09:45:55 pm
Where do you guys weigh in on the whole Pink Floyd debate?

Love Pink Floyd. But then I do like pretentious lyrics in songs. Animals is one of my favourites.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 26 September, 2014, 01:11:52 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cEZSVyNDy8

Still one of my favourites   - you can sing along and appreciate the amazing lyrics

"She's So Lovely"

I love the way she fills her clothes.
She looks just like them girls in vogue.
I love the way she plays it cool.
I think that she is beautiful.

She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely

She's Pretty, a fitty
She's got a boyfriend though and that's a pitty.
She's flirty turned thirty
Ain't that the age a girl gets really dirty.

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

I love the way she bites her lip
I love the way she shakes them hips.
I love the way she makes me drool.
I think that she is beautiful.

She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely

A stunner, I want her
Was she this fit when she was 10 years younger?
Come see me discreetly.
She says she's got a trick or two to teach me.

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

I think that you are lovely
I think that you are lovely
I think that you are lovely
I think that you are lovely
I think that you are lovely
I think that you are lovely
I think that you are lovely
I think that you are beautiful.

She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
How we'll make it through this.

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 26 September, 2014, 01:35:59 am
I loathe that song. I once got stuck on hold to some company or other and a thirty second loop of that shite was the hold music. Imagine that, for twenty five bloody minutes! Bit ashamed to admit that when I eventually got through I lost my temper and exploded at the poor guy on the other end.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Mister Pops on 29 September, 2014, 08:12:20 pm
Ah, simple repetitive lyrics. You only need a passing familiarty with English to understand what the song's all about. Does better in the foreign markets y'see. Will He Is from the Black-Eyed Peas is a master of the form.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 29 September, 2014, 08:34:16 pm
Talking to a lot of my friends mistifies me sometimes. A number of my lady friends seem to boardline worship Nicki Minaj. I can't understand why, she has the personality of the wet tissue and her music is appauling. Apparently she's some massive feminist icon as well which I think is bull.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 30 September, 2014, 12:14:56 am
Snoop Dogg Candy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKli0y-Xr-Q

With appearances from a number of 80s/90s rappers who used to be great and now are terrible. Some of the worst raps I have ever heard.

Is this rap aimed at children?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 30 September, 2014, 10:16:23 am
Talking to a lot of my friends mistifies me sometimes. A number of my lady friends seem to boardline worship Nicki Minaj. I can't understand why, she has the personality of the wet tissue and her music is appauling. Apparently she's some massive feminist icon as well which I think is bull.

Well, you could argue she is a feminist, which at it's core is the right of choice of a woman to do whatever the hell a woman wants to do, and not be restricted by roles imposed on them by men.

As such, I believe Nikki Minaj is expressing this choice by creating a series of soft porn musical fluff videos, which is her right in this progressive and equal society.

This freedom also extends to others, who have then taken one of her videos and improved it a hundredfold just by adding fart sounds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plfa4r-p4xg
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 30 September, 2014, 10:33:53 am
I can't agree with that logic. It's not her who commisions the music, the videos, or her public speeches. She's a product owned by a lable and she'll do what ever she's told so she can get the money to sustain her lifestyle. Calling her a great feminist or even a talented performing artist is nonsense
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 30 September, 2014, 10:45:26 am
I think she is great. And I think these pop stars have a lot more control of heir output than people like to think.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 18 October, 2014, 12:32:39 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llKlUBkEQAE


A review of the Black Eyed Peas I got a feeling
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: 8-Ball on 18 October, 2014, 01:24:48 pm
As a rule I don't hate music genres but I do dislike this more than I can describe -

http://youtu.be/M-VJMeUBOFw (http://youtu.be/M-VJMeUBOFw)




Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: shaolin_monkey on 18 October, 2014, 02:16:17 pm
I can't agree with that logic. It's not her who commisions the music, the videos, or her public speeches. She's a product owned by a lable and she'll do what ever she's told so she can get the money to sustain her lifestyle. Calling her a great feminist or even a talented performing artist is nonsense

I'm kind of with you on that, and that probably would have been my retort had it not been for a conversation I had with a woman last year.

It was a discussion about a bar that only employed women with big tits. My team wanted to go for drinks/food there.  Now, I may have said before that I am quite partial to large mammaries, but those kind of establishments don't sit well with me. It's because the women there are seen as objects of sexual gratification, ogled by men, in a bar run by men, and the owner being a man.  So I explained this to my team, and asked if we could eat somewhere else.

One of the woman on my team spoke up. She said 'Dave, those women are working there out of choice. They can choose to work elsewhere if they feel uncomfortable with it. As a woman myself, I have worked in a variety of places, and have chosen my career path.  For me this is what feminism is - I take my assets, my skills, or whatever I have going for me, and I choose what to use them for.  100 years ago women did not have this choice at all, and this is what feminism has always fought for. Not just to be on equal footing with men, but to have the right to choose what to do with your life. So if those women choose to flash their breasts in a bar and be paid for it, I entirely support them.'

I still wasn't going to go into that bar, but I absolutely could not argue with her reasoning. So if Nikki Minaj chooses to shake her arse at a camera over banal pop, much as we may like/dislike it, we have to respect it is her choice to do so.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 18 October, 2014, 03:40:25 pm
I think you have the right idea, SM - the issue for you clearly seems to be not that whether or not the employees "choose" to work in a titty bar, but that you didn't want to go into a titty bar and don't like what titty bars represent: the idea that it is justifiable as a concept to only employ someone if they are a woman who has big tits.

I've personally heard many variations of the "female porn stars are the ones doing the exploiting" argument over the years, but by and large I don't find them entirely convincing.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: auxlen on 18 October, 2014, 03:44:37 pm
I travelled with someone listening to radio one. 'i asked her why all the women singers were shouting at me?'
 :o
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 18 October, 2014, 03:53:25 pm
If you listen to Radio 1 you deserve everything you get.  I gave up on it around a decade ago when they gave all the presenting jobs to ex-models on account of models being renowned for both their personalities and taste in music.
The only exception was Chris Moyles banging on about his huge salary, expensive holidays, tv appearances, and celebrity mates, which for some reason went down really well with his audience of schoolchildren and van drivers.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: auxlen on 18 October, 2014, 04:13:11 pm
In my defence...she was driving so...driver's choice.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 18 October, 2014, 05:04:14 pm

Nicky Minaj takes pelters for singing about what a big arse she has, while this girl does the same and is considered a role model speaking out against the body fascism inflicted upon young women. They're both pish:

Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass: http://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk




Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 18 October, 2014, 05:56:39 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCOqnPBasbs
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 23 October, 2014, 06:14:32 pm
I just have to get this off my chest - I can't stand 'Strong' by London Grammar.

Terrible band, awful song, which my colleague loves and plays at every opportunity. He also plays their horrendous, ill-advised cover of 'Night Call' by Kavinsky (who I like a lot).
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 23 October, 2014, 08:31:36 pm
"I'm all about that Bass" by I don't give a fuck who, it's awful and hypocritical in equal measures.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Frank on 30 October, 2014, 07:17:55 pm
Nicky Minaj takes pelters for singing about what a big arse she has, while this girl does the same and is considered a role model speaking out against the body fascism inflicted upon young women. They're both pish:  Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass: http://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk

"I'm all about that Bass" by I don't give a fuck who, it's awful and hypocritical in equal measures.

2 posts above yours, man. Waze & Odyssey have cleverly combined an R Kelly sample from hands-on-arse slow dance favourite Bump n' Grind with a thinly disguised rip-off of the much better Robin S's Show Me Love as a backing track, simultaneously surfing the wave of nineties nostalgia and creating a tune that works just as well at the end of the night as it does at the start.

Would it spoil the sing-a-long fun to point out that when R Kelly is straining at the phrase My mind's telling me no, but my body, my body's telling me 'yes', Baby, I don't want to hurt nobody he's talking about raping children (http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2008/06/long_live_the_little_man_defense.html)?

http://youtu.be/s97Mb1TZqbU?t=22s


Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 30 October, 2014, 08:42:54 pm
Good man, the lyrics are utterly nonsensical aren't they?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: ThryllSeekyr on 19 May, 2015, 08:47:22 pm
Not that I have taken much notice of what is popular music within the last fifteen to twenty years, (I'm not even terribly sure of the sound of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga (Very hot looking within out her weird make-up!) and One Direction.

I miss the hard rock and blues, big hair rock of 80's and Grunge of the 90's....

I've only be subsisting music -wise on all my cd's in during that time and up till now.

This one deserves honourable mention.....

 Friday (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0)

The voice, along with the repetitive chorus of this song is kind of irritating by the time I have gotten through the first quarter of this song. There is hint of robotic in her voice as well.

I tried listening to one of her other songs and didn't even make it as far as the first third of it.

Just to be sure she wasn't having a off day, not that it would be easy for me to tell, for I just don't listen to this bubble-gum pop at all.

Just for your information.....

I was shown the link to this song in the Off-Topic section of this game  Forum (http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php?topic=38847.0).

Some of you might know about that game I made a huge deal about nearly two years earlier.

Not that I really got to know a lot of people on that forum while not in game, but they did start a thread like this one. and randomly followed the link to this song much to my bleeeeh. When I silently agreed with the negative comments around this song.

I had a bit trouble remembering the name of and how to find this song when I was just searching links (After I discovered this thread topics!) to the top ten best or worst song since 2000 with links like  this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2uqYNP_qyU). Those songs aren't so bad, but I don't like the cookie-cutter boy bands that seemed to have been around since the late 80's. Didn't realise Justin Timberlake made that song (In the video!) as late as 2000 when he split from the  group a few years later to pursue acting. I don't think he's done to bad in that area either. (Hint Hint!) Not that I follow his work closely, I do recall some film about drug-pushers, some sci-fi film to do with currency being replaced by number, any number that will count down to zero by the second.  When it hits zero, your dead. The numbers can be used to buy things, but they will bring you closer to zero much faster (And that's bad!) until you get paid again. I can only imagine the rich having many zero's of life...and some Mike Myer's comedy as well as boy with girl film with that hot Russian actress who was in that sci-fi where she was toilet cleaning
princess of the galaxy.

I kept typing in the name Friday multiple times combined with the heading Annoying Pop Music Since 2000 and then I just reduced that heading to Friday - Pop Music and found it half way down the list.

I thought I was nearly going to need to open up that old forum game site, but it's since been taken down. Don't even bother following the link.

I don't want to be mean to this person, and I guess I would be forcing her into a life of drugs to support her life style if didn't have that gig as bad as it sounds to me.

 

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 05 March, 2016, 03:32:05 pm
Seem's cheap of me to point the finger at both Bieber and One Direction but my sister is currently blasting "Sorry" from the next room and i'm desperatly trying to drown in out with some Led Zepplin through head phones but christ I can still hear the mysogyny permeating i to my ear cavity and AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH SEND HELP!!!!!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Eric Plumrose on 05 March, 2016, 09:15:27 pm
i'm desperatly trying to drown in out with some Led Zepplin through head phones but christ I can still hear the mysogyny permeating i to my ear cavity

Then stop listening to Led Zep.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 05 March, 2016, 09:22:48 pm
i'm desperatly trying to drown in out with some Led Zepplin through head phones but christ I can still hear the mysogyny permeating i to my ear cavity

Then stop listening to Led Zep.
Oyy!  :lol:
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 08 March, 2016, 01:49:28 pm
There's a breed of singer / songwriter that's become popular over the last ten or fifteen years, and it genuinely upsets me whenever I hear them. 
Not entirely sure which is which (James Blunt, Damien Rice etc) but they're typified for me by whiny, poe-faced and bollockless rubbish like 'You're Beautiful' and 'Float Like a Cannonball'.

I wish they'd all just stop feeling so fecking sorry for themselves,  remember the spirit of rock and roll and generally grow a pair.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 08 March, 2016, 01:56:15 pm
Right first time, that's James Blunt. Painful music, utter tosh.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Mister Pops on 08 March, 2016, 04:40:28 pm
There's a similar thing with female vocalists whimpering along to a piano cover version. You always hear them on John Lewis ads.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 08 March, 2016, 06:23:01 pm
There's a similar thing with female vocalists whimpering along to a piano cover version. You always hear them on John Lewis ads.

I quite like Tori Amos, but even I know if you find yourself doing something she realised was a terrible idea fifteen years ago, you should probably stop.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 08 March, 2016, 06:46:46 pm
There's a similar thing with female vocalists whimpering along to a piano cover version. You always hear them on John Lewis ads.

The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 08 March, 2016, 07:46:24 pm
indeed - slow, wistful semi-acoustic covers of rollicking rock songs - just.... NO!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 08 March, 2016, 07:58:19 pm
Agreed.  I think I've heard the aforementioned few minutes of pissing on Eazy E's grave; it's as bad as you'd expect.

Now, see that Lady Gaga and Rhianna? I don't hate them. In fact I like quite a few of their songs.  Manufactured they may be but I'd place them far above the 'slow, wistful, semi-acoustic' tripe in question, in terms of energy, attitude and indeed quality. 

As for Blunt and co: Come the revolution,  they will be forced, Clockwork Orange style, to watch videos of Jagger, Pop,  Rotten and Jay Hawkins until they promise to be rock 'n' roll and never to be twee and shit again.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 08 March, 2016, 08:03:08 pm
The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.

That's actually a meme from several years back.  The whole point is that it's taking the piss - even Ben Folds was regularly doing a cover of Bitches Ain't Shit at one point.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 08 March, 2016, 08:08:30 pm
The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.

That's actually a meme from several years back. 

I only have a vague memory of it, but if it's a piss take then fair play to them (they're on my side).
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 08 March, 2016, 09:02:15 pm
The first clue it's a joke is a white singer using the n-word several times in a song and still having a career afterwards.  Well... inasmuch as you can call being in Veruca Salt "a career."
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 08 March, 2016, 10:25:23 pm
Here it is.  Tell the truth, it is quite funny, now that I hear it properly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2EGOB9-lc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2EGOB9-lc)
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: I, Cosh on 08 March, 2016, 11:45:09 pm
YOU ARE NOW ABOUT TO WITNESS THE STRENGTH OF STREET KNOWLEDGE.
There's a similar thing with female vocalists whimpering along to a piano cover version. You always hear them on John Lewis ads.
The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.
I assume you're talking about this cover of Straight Outta Compton (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2EGOB9-lc) by Nina Gordon, formerly of Breeders-beholden 90s indie also rans Verucca Salt (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC9AUR-iTo0). Each to his own, but I don't really understand the "trying too hard" comment and I think you might be missing the point quite spectacularly.

I don't really think "taking the piss" covers it either. The first time I heard it, I laughed but I also thought it was a pretty entertaining take on the original and an amusing reaction to the vogue for looping a couple of lines from an older record and slapping it over a crappy beat. In that sense, it reminds me of another favourite cover. In the dark days of the late 80s, every indie guitar band thought it was the most original and hilarious thing ever to knock out an amped up cover of a pop hit. Sadly, for every poignant Lemonheads (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW9Pv0WT2K0), there was a witless Lawnmover Deth (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJz6_PEu6Iw) waiting in the wings. Then Galaxie 500 flipped the whole thing round with their astonishing, catatonic version of The Pistols' Submission (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIyMArdBhvM).

For me, her cover does a lot of things. Firstly, it reminds you that a really great song can stand up to a battering and a whole bunch of interpretations without being harmed.

It shows that anger can be felt and expressed in different ways. Of course I'm not going to say it's the equal of the original. Without that aggressive, driving howl it could never be, but  while naked aggression is invigorating and cathartic but does quiet rage get more done?

I have no idea what the genesis of this recording was. Maybe it was a laugh at a gig and she didn't know all the words. Maybe it was a laugh at a gig and a couple of other people pitched in with the other parts. Maybe not.

Either way, it's worth considering that it's not a cover of the whole song. It's a cover of Ice Cube's verses. Sure, it's inherently funny to hear a nice white college girl singing ghetto lyrics but can't we all be angry at the same things? Not sure about you but I think I can see how a woman could put her own spin on "You too boy, if you fuck with me/ The police are gonna have to come and get me/ Off your ass..." a lot more easily than Ren's immortal couplet "Shoot a motherfucker in a minute/ Or find a good piece o' pussy and go off in it."
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: I, Cosh on 08 March, 2016, 11:49:01 pm
Whoops. Looks like I took this shit too seriously.
The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.
That's actually a meme from several years back.  The whole point is that it's taking the piss - even Ben Folds was regularly doing a cover of Bitches Ain't Shit at one point.
Did they have memes back then? Both are basically coterminous with Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlett Johannson starring in The Island. I hadn't even signed up to this forum or started reading 2000AD again in 2005.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 09 March, 2016, 12:32:37 am
White college kids were in on the joke at least as far back as 2008 (https://youtu.be/oloFLyel3Is?t=1m38s).
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Mister Pops on 09 March, 2016, 04:22:05 am
Whoops. Looks like I took this shit too seriously.
The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.
That's actually a meme from several years back.  The whole point is that it's taking the piss - even Ben Folds was regularly doing a cover of Bitches Ain't Shit at one point.
Did they have memes back then? Both are basically coterminous with Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlett Johannson starring in The Island. I hadn't even signed up to this forum or started reading 2000AD again in 2005.

There were internet memes before then. Like Dancing Baby, and that appeared in Ally McBeal in the late 90s. I think the actual term 'meme' started gaining traction around the time Dick Dawkins God Delusion was published. A quick google reveals that he actual coined the term in The Selfish Gene in 1976, although the word itself didn't become a meme until about a decade ago.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 09 March, 2016, 11:55:59 am
I've just found out that one song I thought was by James Blunt is by Ed Sheeran. No.  No, no, no, no, no.  All the cartoon tattoos in the world won't save Sheeran when I rule the world.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Darren Stephens on 11 March, 2016, 05:13:22 pm
I've just found out that one song I thought was by James Blunt is by Ed Sheeran. No.  No, no, no, no, no.  All the cartoon tattoos in the world won't save Sheeran when I rule the world.

I simply can't stand Ed bloody Sheeran, but the young folks seem to lap up his oh so fucking bland "music".
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Mister Pops on 12 March, 2016, 01:28:48 am
I've just found out that one song I thought was by James Blunt is by Ed Sheeran. No.  No, no, no, no, no.  All the cartoon tattoos in the world won't save Sheeran when I rule the world.

I simply can't stand Ed bloody Sheeran, but the young folks seem to lap up his oh so fucking bland "music".

I've been teaching a kid guitar for about a year now. He wanted to learn some Sheeran tunes. I've gotta say, even though I'm not a fan of his music, Sheeran knows his way around a fret board. His tunes are quite instructive for a novice. Not as much much as the Beatles and their contemporaries, but the wee shite has no taste. Still beats teaching his little sister nursery rhymes.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: TordelBack on 12 March, 2016, 08:53:51 am
Ed Sheeran's very worst crime is establishing the pudgy potato-headed ginger-facepubes look as potentially fanciable some 30 years too bloody late.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 12 March, 2016, 09:49:52 am
Ed Sheeran's very worst crime is establishing the pudgy potato-headed ginger-facepubes look as potentially fanciable some 30 years too bloody late.
Guilty as charged! To be fair I'm currently turquoise but should probably shave more often.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 12 March, 2016, 12:58:17 pm
Ed Sheeran's very worst crime is establishing the pudgy potato-headed ginger-facepubes look as potentially fanciable some 30 years too bloody late.

The Domhnall-Gleeson-In-A-Car-Crusher look never goes out of style, don't you know, darling.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 01 September, 2017, 03:32:30 pm
Guys, end the thread - I have found the actual worst song ever, and that song is 'Play That Song' by Train.

I heard it on the radio the other day and couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. So unbelievably artless,  lazy and cynical that it made my skin crawl. We are literally one step away from the future presented by Demolition Man - where the radio just plays old advertising jingles - becoming reality.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Fungus on 01 September, 2017, 04:40:04 pm
I've heard a million worse.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 September, 2017, 05:05:35 pm
Guys, end the thread - I have found the actual worst song ever, and that song is 'Play That Song' by Train.

I heard it on the radio the other day and couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. So unbelievably artless,  lazy and cynical that it made my skin crawl. We are literally one step away from the future presented by Demolition Man - where the radio just plays old advertising jingles - becoming reality.

Why did you make me listen to that? I lasted 32 seconds - it's got to be ironically bad surely?

And speaking of ad jingles could someone please shoot whoever does that bloody Oreo song
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 01 September, 2017, 05:08:28 pm
Quote
Why did you make me listen to that? I lasted 32 seconds - it's got to be ironically bad surely?

Haha. I didn't link to it because I didn't want my Youtube recommendations tainted by searching for it!

Did you make it to the chorus though? That's where the real jawdropping awfulness really becomes apparent.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 September, 2017, 05:16:50 pm
I gave up when the smug twat hat-thief began Fame-dancing down the steps. Urrrgh
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: sheridan on 01 September, 2017, 05:48:04 pm
Whoops. Looks like I took this shit too seriously.
The worst one I've ever heard was some girl doing a cover of Straight Outta Compton by NWA in this style. Trying waaaaaaay too hard. Awful.
That's actually a meme from several years back.  The whole point is that it's taking the piss - even Ben Folds was regularly doing a cover of Bitches Ain't Shit at one point.
Did they have memes back then? Both are basically coterminous with Ewan Mcgregor and Scarlett Johannson starring in The Island. I hadn't even signed up to this forum or started reading 2000AD again in 2005.

There were internet memes before then. Like Dancing Baby, and that appeared in Ally McBeal in the late 90s. I think the actual term 'meme' started gaining traction around the time Dick Dawkins God Delusion was published. A quick google reveals that he actual coined the term in The Selfish Gene in 1976, although the word itself didn't become a meme until about a decade ago.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that internet memes had become popular enough that they were being spoofed/stolen for adverts by that point.  The Hampster Dance is nearly 20 years old...
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 September, 2017, 05:59:14 pm
I'm sorry, but you're not even trying if that even registers on your list of worst songs, never mind topping it.

Dragging up the past here, but the worst song ever recorded is the Counting Crows cover of Joni "oh you've met her?  Is she really as awful as they say?" Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi, which is so jaw-droppingly terrible it is amazing it was released at all, most likely only because they'd roped in a female vocalist - Vanessa Carlton - who was pretty well-known in soft pop-rock circles of the time, so it couldn't just go on the shelf - though it was an unlisted track in most versions of the band's album.

If you don't know the original (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94bdMSCdw20), it's the kind of post-60s whimsy that you simply couldn't get away with in a modern pop song but which the context of the times could justify.  The song addresses typical hippy concerns such as the rapid spread of urban areas, the destruction of the rainforests, environmentalism, and eventually all these are revealed as metaphorical musings on the transient nature of happiness with the lyrics
"late last night I heard a screen door slam
and a big yellow taxi took away my old man"
The entire song is structured around this moment, from the basic premise to the melody to the actual title of the song itself, but the lead singer of Counting Crows didn't want people to think he was gay, so he changed the lyrics to "took my girl away" - "away" does not rhyme with "slam", just FYI, though ironically it does actually rhyme with "gay".
Anyway, flubbing a song for a No Homo would be amazing all on its own, but as mentioned above, the band's management had actually foreseen this scenario unfolding and drafted in a relatively famous female co-vocalist for the track who could sing those very lines - except that would have made the male singer out to be the bad guy within the hypothetical paradigm of the lyrics, and he also didn't want anyone else to be the focus of the song by singing the bit about the Big Yellow Taxi anyway, so for good measure Vanessa Carlton doesn't actually sing any lyrics at all, but you can see her in the MV doing scat singing on the chorus.

And just so you don't think I'm letting a single duff note inform my opinion of a song that might actually be good if only you could listen to it and judge for yourself: HERE IS THE COVER VERSION (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvtJPs8IDgU) and may God have mercy on your soul.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: radiator on 01 September, 2017, 06:39:29 pm
That's wretched, no doubt about it, but nowhere near as offensively bad as the Train song to my ears, which, if you haven't heard the chorus - is a cover of 'Heart and Soul' aka the song Tom Hanks plays on the floor piano in Big aka literally the first song that you learn to play on the piano as a child.

It's essentially a band covering a nursery rhyme, with a straight face, and released by a major record label as the lead single to their new album. It's pathetic.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 September, 2017, 08:05:10 pm
Dragging up the past here, but the worst song ever recorded is the Counting Crows cover of Joni "oh you've met her?  Is she really as awful as they say?" Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi,

No way man, If you start with a great song there's a limit to the amount of damage you can do. The WORST are the songs that are blighted from conception.  I absolutely agree with your entire analysis - it's a horrible and pointless cover (No Vanessa, you DON'T deserve a title credit for walking wistfully down the street singing "ooooh bop bop") and I am more offended than most as I worship at the altar of the Blessed Joni (well until that last one that they only sold via Starbucks - I even liked Turbulent Indigo), but it's .. well ... how can I put it?
Quote
I'm sorry, but you're not even trying if that even registers on your list of worst songs, never mind topping it.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 September, 2017, 08:42:12 pm
Covers are the worst because the default trajectory is down, but no matter how a bad a song you write, you've still created something.

No way man, If you start with a great song there's a limit to the amount of damage you can do.

I used to think that, and then Madonna did a cover of American Pie.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 September, 2017, 09:17:24 pm
again, horrible and pointless, but if, for the rest of your life, were you were forced to only ever listen to that or this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0) or even this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM) - which would you prefer?
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Colin YNWA on 01 September, 2017, 09:27:01 pm
Covers are the worst because the default trajectory is down, but no matter how a bad a song you write, you've still created something.


Tell that to Johnny Cash... well okay he's dead alas but still that man could find ways to make good songs great and great songs exceptional.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Fungus on 01 September, 2017, 09:37:55 pm
again, horrible and pointless, but if, for the rest of your life, were you were forced to only ever listen to that or this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0) or even this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM) - which would you prefer?

Evil to our ears but the best thing ever for a 5-year old... Also see: Gangnam (?) Style.

Big Yellow Taxi. A fine original... ruined completely by her giggling at the end. Many cover versions, but all avoid that! Wisely!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 September, 2017, 10:09:30 pm
aw, I like that giggle - it was 1970, so it would have been genuine rather than a cynical gimmick.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 September, 2017, 10:16:39 pm
Covers are the worst because the default trajectory is down, but no matter how a bad a song you write, you've still created something.


Tell that to Johnny Cash...

We all know Boyzone did the definitive version of Father And Son so there will always be exceptions, but by and large the majority of covers don't live up to the original.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: sheridan on 01 September, 2017, 10:24:21 pm
aw, I like that giggle - it was 1970, so it would have been genuine rather than a cynical gimmick.
That's no proof againt gimmickry - Alma Cogan laughed during one song, and then became "Girl with the Giggle in Her Voice" forever after...
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Zarjazzer on 02 September, 2017, 10:14:29 am
A good cover takes the song and makes it their own. Like the Clash did with I fought the law or Blondie with Denis(e).

Can't say i'm thrilled at Katy Perry's or the Swifty's latest tunes. I used to like their songs like TGIF and We are never ever getting back together.

Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: NapalmKev on 03 September, 2017, 11:08:23 am
If it's crap covers you're after you will have to go a long way to beat Another Brick in the Wall (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roz8l0kd2xA) by angst ridden Forever-Teens, Korn(y).

Yeah, it can be interesting when Metal and Punk bands cover songs that are not from their respective Genre's, as is evidenced by the utterly awful Sounds of Silence (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4) by Disturbed.

And finally, a shit cover of a shit original Everything I do, I do for you (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8gijeNgFLY)

No, don't thank me.

Cheers
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Fungus on 03 September, 2017, 12:20:43 pm
Oh. That Sound of Silence cover is gruesome  :o

But I saw a fantastic tribute act cover the S & G classics at that Edinburgh Festival last week, and I've been spoiled.
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Dark Jimbo on 03 September, 2017, 03:40:48 pm
Oh. That Sound of Silence cover is gruesome  :o

Better than their dire Phil Collins cover...!
Title: Re: Inevitable "crap music" thread
Post by: Skullmo on 07 September, 2017, 10:13:30 pm
I quite enjoyed that!