2000 AD Online Forum

General Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: The Legendary Shark on 01 July, 2018, 07:43:32 pm

Title: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 01 July, 2018, 07:43:32 pm
 This forum isn't silly enough. In order to rectify this, I suggest we all find silly things to do, silly things based upon the famously silly Radio 4 panel game, I'm Sorry, I haven't a Crew, or whatever it's called.


In this instance, however, the games will be based on Tharg's mighty organ. Let's hope we can pull it off between us.


To start, I suggest a game of Judge Dredd Film Club, suggestions for films likely to appeal to an audience of Judge Dredd fans. With an entirely justified sense of inevitable futility, I'll start us off with a few insipid suggestions:


Fargo
The Hunt for Dredd October
Giant
Dreddpool
BrokeJack Mountain
Grudfellas
The Clone Ranger
Dr. Joe
The Grud, the Bad and the Ugly
The Devlin's Advocate
The Day the Cursed Earth Stood Still
The Murd Man of Alcatraz
Mad Max Normal
Picnic at Hanging Drokk
Ben Hur, Hur, Hur
Look Who?'s Talking
The Devlin's Advocate
Judge Death in Venice
and, of course, Bring Me the Dredd of Alfredo Garcia


Now, it's over to you. I'll be awarding points for the best answers - and we all know what points mean, right? Drokk all, that's what. Okay then, get on with it...

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 01 July, 2018, 07:51:48 pm
Mega-City Crescent!  Oh, sorry - wrong round ;-)
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 01 July, 2018, 07:59:40 pm
We'll have a go at Mornington Rad Pit later - if you're good...

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 01 July, 2018, 08:05:22 pm
McGruder vs. McGruder
Judge Death In Venice
Paint Your H-Wagon
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Dandontdare on 01 July, 2018, 09:18:28 pm
Judge Death in Venice

Judge Death In Venice

Bzzzz - Repetition!

Oh wait, that's a different game
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 01 July, 2018, 09:28:04 pm

Commando Clergy rules are in effect.

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 01 July, 2018, 09:51:27 pm
Oops. Missed that, it was a long sharklist!  :-X

And...
One Day of Chaos
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Clinic
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Resyk But Were Afraid To Ask
They Shoot Perps, Don't They?
Meet The Drokkers

 
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Jim_Campbell on 01 July, 2018, 10:33:07 pm
Stickleback Mountain, surely?
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: M.I.K. on 01 July, 2018, 11:18:00 pm
Resyko (I know it's already been done)
Forrest Sump
On The Walter Front
Some Like It Grot
To Kill A Drokking Bird
The Grud-U-Ate
Troggy Balboa
UnFergieven
Mutie Knee On The Bounty, (which surely must have been used in a Strontium Dog story at some point?)
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 01 July, 2018, 11:20:37 pm
Resyko (I know it's already been done)

Recycling is encouraged.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: rogue69 on 01 July, 2018, 11:28:55 pm
All's quiet on the East Meg Front
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: von Boom on 02 July, 2018, 01:02:46 am
Definitely, P.J. Maybe
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 08:51:09 am
Total Rico.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 02 July, 2018, 10:09:54 am
Apocalypse War Now
The Green Kneepad
The Third Kneepad
Terms of Encubement
My Fair Kneepad
My Beautiful Kneepad
and
Rebel Without A Kneepad
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 10:31:46 am
The Cannonball Hot-Dog Run
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 10:35:53 am
The Shape Of Walter
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Modern Panther on 02 July, 2018, 11:08:42 am
Strontium Dog day afternoon
The Mutants Christmas Carol
WALL-TER
Harvey (Rotten)
Munce 2 Society
the Dead Man Walking
Pendulum and the Pit
Eustace Fargo

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 02 July, 2018, 11:13:07 am
The Euro-City Connection
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 12:16:09 pm
Romancing The Stoneyface
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Frank on 02 July, 2018, 12:52:49 pm
Total Rico.

Winner.


Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Lobo Baggins on 02 July, 2018, 03:27:26 pm
Club Dredd

Dredd Sonia

Three Colours: Dredd

Waugh & Peace

True Grot

Song of the Southers

Zragnet

Sex and the City of the Damned

Zombo the Greek

Sump and Sumpability

In Like Finn

Pest Side Story

Great Sneckspectations

Fifty Shades of Slay (he didn't think it too many...)

Fifty Slades of Grey
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 03:35:54 pm
The Golden Judge Child
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 03:41:28 pm
The Judges of Madison County
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 03:44:39 pm
The Drokky Horror Picture Show
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 03:46:39 pm
8 Dredds in a Duffel Bag
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Tjm86 on 02 July, 2018, 04:30:02 pm
Apocalypse WarGames
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 04:40:42 pm
How I Won The Apocalypse War
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 04:41:38 pm
Death Becomes Hershey
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 04:45:56 pm
Bill & Dredd's Megcellent Adventure
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Hawkmumbler on 02 July, 2018, 05:22:13 pm
Assault on Sector House 13
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 02 July, 2018, 05:25:48 pm
The World According to Garp
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 05:26:31 pm
Apologies for any repetitions - my memory is fallible:

Paris, Texas City
Crazy in Alabama Blimps
A Starborn Thing is Born
There Will Be Blackblood
Star Trek: Nemesis the Warlock
Ro-Jaws 3-D
Mazeworld Runner
Mean Arena Girls
Mad Max Normal 2: The ABC Road Warrior
Button Man II: The Confessions of Harry Potter
The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttonman
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 05:52:08 pm
Al's Baby Driver
When Harry Twenty Met Sally
Harlem Heroes Nights
Armoured Gideon's Trumpet
Bad City Big Blue
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Battalion Across the 8th Dimension
V for the Bendatti Vendatta

Uhm...
Unamerican Graffiti
Shaun Of The Dead: There's Something About Mary
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Lobo Baggins on 02 July, 2018, 05:57:30 pm
The Incredibly Strange Creature That Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombo.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 06:24:53 pm
This is way too much fun...

Some Like It Hotdog Run
The Wizard of Oz
Judge Dredd: The Deer Hunters Club
13 Angry Men
The Disturbed Digestions Of Doctor Zhivago
The Stainless Steel Rat For All The President's Men
Strontium Dog Day Afternoon
Reservoir Strontium Dogs
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: CalHab on 02 July, 2018, 06:35:29 pm
Things to do in Denver When You’re Dredd
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Lobo Baggins on 02 July, 2018, 06:42:03 pm
All Quiet on the Chris Weston Front.

Moulin Rogue!
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 06:59:29 pm
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Tyranny Rex But Were Afraid To Ask
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 07:58:42 pm
Rita, Sue and Gestapo Bob too.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 02 July, 2018, 08:03:17 pm
Dreddy Player One
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 08:03:42 pm
Dances With Wulfs
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 08:11:45 pm
I Heartses Huckabees
Stickleback to the Future
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Lobo Baggins on 02 July, 2018, 08:28:27 pm
Bad Company of Wulfs.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 02 July, 2018, 09:52:26 pm
Dante Look Now
Nikolai's Wide Shut
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 02 July, 2018, 10:21:16 pm
We seem to be straying from the Dredd theme, not that I care. Nor should anyone, really.

The Andersons of Katie Elder
Justice One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
In the Line of Judge Fire
Kleggend
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Rackle on 02 July, 2018, 11:16:39 pm
Nemesister Act
Attack of the Block
It's a Bug (Ugly)'s Life
The Hand that Rocked the Cradlegrave
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 02 July, 2018, 11:51:24 pm
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 03 July, 2018, 12:03:25 am
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Mister Pops on 03 July, 2018, 12:03:58 am
Flesh Gordon
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Rackle on 03 July, 2018, 12:06:14 am
Look Who's Torquemada
Strontium Dog Soldiers
The (Iso)Cube
The Color Perp-le
Mutie on the Bounty
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Taryn Tailz on 03 July, 2018, 01:09:56 am
The Simping Detective...oh, wait...
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 03 July, 2018, 02:22:05 am
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 03 July, 2018, 07:23:55 am
Thank Grud that's over. Some of those entries made me feel quite ill, so it seems appropriate to follow it up with a game of Prog Nosis, where contestants describe injuries, illnesses and diseases peculiar to 2000AD readers.

Maladies may include such distressing conditions as:
Twooth decay - storing your progs in a damp cellar
Twooth cavity - a gap in your collection
Samnesia - forgetting all about Slade
Nemecysts - boils on your warlocks
and Tyrannosores - blisters caused by reading Flesh too quickly

Points will be awarded for something or other and the winner will receive this must-have addition to every Squaxx's first aid kit, a 2 litre cask of Judge Palomine Lotion.

Simple as that, so - get on with it, you sick drokkers...

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 03 July, 2018, 09:03:58 am
The Screaming Abnett-Dabs - compulsion to pun
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 03 July, 2018, 11:20:00 am
Mandroid Flu - so much worse than regular 'flu. If you're a machine to start with
Skizzophrenia - when you see a weird Spielberg version of yourself and conclude multiple personality disorder
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 03 July, 2018, 12:39:44 pm
Kleptomania - stealing characters from other comics
Thargrophobia - can't leave home without wearing a mask
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 03 July, 2018, 01:14:39 pm
Aggrophobia - fear or hatred of going to the Aggro Dome
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: I, Cosh on 03 July, 2018, 01:24:05 pm
Fargophobia - Hatred of boring stories determined to fill every conceivable remaining detail of a world which has gone unexplained for forty years.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: M.I.K. on 03 July, 2018, 02:46:59 pm
Deep vein Zombosis.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Dandontdare on 03 July, 2018, 02:57:55 pm
haemordroids - painful anal condition from spending too long sitting at a drawing board
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Dandontdare on 03 July, 2018, 03:00:50 pm
Terror-Tubercolosis - fear of driving in Termight
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 03 July, 2018, 04:03:08 pm
Trench Future Shock Syndrome - fear of rejection
Kid-Knee Failure - losing the head completely
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 03 July, 2018, 04:51:40 pm
Halotosis - breath so bad, people keep telling you to "go out"
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: M.I.K. on 03 July, 2018, 04:56:24 pm
Walter on the brain
Quinched nerve
Sumps
Trooping cough
Indigoing toenail
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 03 July, 2018, 06:30:00 pm
Dryrunoea: a particularly painful 12-week illness
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: sheridan on 03 July, 2018, 08:13:16 pm
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 03 July, 2018, 08:18:17 pm
Schicklgruber cell anemia.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 03 July, 2018, 08:21:21 pm
Psichosis: the illusory belief that you're a psi-judge
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 06 July, 2018, 05:32:57 pm
Well, I honestly can't express how inspiring that was. All the points for this round go to Tordelback for having the good sense to avoid getting involved.

The Father of 2000AD, Pat Mills is responsible for some of the comic's most memorable and popular strips from MACH 1, Shako, Slaine, Savage and Flesh to Greysuit, Nemesis the Warlock, Defoe and the ABC Warriors, which included such iconic characters as General Blackblood - of whom it is rumoured Tony Blair was a fan. A soulless and duplicitous automaton programmed with a pathological love of total war, torture and drinking the blood of his countless victims, Tony Blair served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1997 to 2007.

To honour Uncle Pat's love of music, it's time for a round of Pat Mills's Songbook, where contestants suggest songs likely to appeal to the Man Himself.

Titles might include such classics as:
It's Hammerstein Time
Another One Bites the Rust
Axe Me in the Morning
Old One Eye is Back
Penny Slaine
and Fleshdance

No points for this round, obviously, but the winner will receive a sealed box of pure darkness. It's as simple as that, so get on with it, if you want...

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Woolly on 06 July, 2018, 07:21:37 pm
Sleep when I'm Deadlock
Put A Grobbendonk On It
Don't Fear The American Reaper
Let It Be (pure, Be Vigilant, BEHAVE)
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 06 July, 2018, 09:23:00 pm
Accidents Will Happen, Man
Ballad of a Finn Man
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Dandontdare on 06 July, 2018, 09:32:53 pm
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: von Boom on 07 July, 2018, 01:21:10 am
Big Trouble in Little Meg One.
Fast Times at the Academy of Law.
Rex Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Mardroid on 07 July, 2018, 05:48:57 pm
Flesh Gordon

I suspect this might have been done at some point*, although it likely had nothing to do with 2000ad.

*Not speaking from experience.

**No, honest!
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Funt Solo on 08 July, 2018, 06:40:47 am
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51V3FYGKCNL._SY445_.jpg)
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 08 July, 2018, 10:30:53 am


Well, that was fun.

Moving swiftly along, the time has come for the Twoothy Limericks Round. On the radio, the chairman presents the first line and the contestants complete the Limericks a line at a time, each contestant providing one line each until the poem is completed to rapturous applause and wild laughter from the panel. But who's got time for that, right?

In our version, I'll provide five first lines and it's up to you to build a complete Limerick from the first line, or lines, of your choice. This is a Zero Sum round, meaning that all points will be donated to Virgin Trains in the vain hope that they'll get their act together before the Rapture.

The five first lines are:
Whilst reading Prog One in my bed...
As Bill Savage climbed into his truck...
Tharg went to Quaxxan for Lent...
The perp who sniffed Anderson's bike...
Johnny Alpha, while out on a hunt...

That should keep you busy for a bit, so get on with it while I go for a slash...

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: IAMTHESYSTEM on 08 July, 2018, 10:46:35 am
Whilst reading Prog One in my Bed,
A Heatseeker round hit me in the head,
The Judges surmised,
from my Twoothy joyride,
that some Zine readers are better off dead.
BOOM! BOOM!
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: IAMTHESYSTEM on 08 July, 2018, 11:28:37 am
As Bill Savage climbed into his truck,
He discovered the steering wheel stuck,
But the truck then reversed,
And through a Minefield traversed, 
Now Bill's the one riding his luck.


Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 11 July, 2018, 09:07:08 pm
Food has always played a big part in 2000AD. Who can forget the memorable scenes where Judge Dredd and a cadet on final assessment shared a hottie on the slab or Nicolai Dante got his tongue around unfeasible quantities of tuna?

In this round, The Salad of Halo Jones, contestants are invited to suggest meals, snacks or other foodstuffs that might be of interest to 2000AD readers or characters.

I'd give some examples but I can't be arsed. Anyway, you can figure this out without my help, so get on with it...

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: IAMTHESYSTEM on 11 July, 2018, 09:51:27 pm
Judge Bread?

Strontium Hotdog?
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 11 July, 2018, 10:32:48 pm
Angel Delight
Ma-Ma-Mite
Klegg of Lamb
Devlined Eggs
Judge Death by Chocolate
Bonjo Bons
High Rock Cakes
Blackblood Pudding
Oreo-Jaws
Joe Pineapples Chunks
DeMarcoroons
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Fungus on 12 July, 2018, 07:50:20 am
Sherbet dib dabnetts
Wolfie Smith's crisps
Robo Hunter's Pie
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: DaveGYNWA on 12 July, 2018, 08:25:30 am
PB&J Maybe
Mayor Byron Ambrosia Creamed Rice
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: AlexF on 12 July, 2018, 09:17:36 am
Scrambled Kleggs
Boil-in-the-Bagman rice
Spam-o in a Kano
Indigo Prime rib
Vienna, neice-oise of Dredd salad
Filet-o-Judge Fish
Dan Dare-ylea triangles
Random Lobster bisque
Blackblood pudding
Johnny Alphabetti Spaghetti

Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Proudhuff on 12 July, 2018, 01:54:38 pm
Love this thread... The big W will be mining this for years to come  :-X
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: Dandontdare on 12 July, 2018, 04:15:10 pm
DR & Quiche
Title: Re: I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog
Post by: The Legendary Shark on 14 July, 2018, 06:52:52 am

And so, as the Nu Earth wormhole approaches the nebula of Thrill Power and the Biro of the Mighty Wagner penetrates the soft and intimate core of Button Man, I see it's almost time to put aside this silliness for the time being. We'll be back later for some more pointless antics when I, or hopefully somebody else, can be bothered think up some new games.

Until then, Tharg's delightful sister, Marg, and I will be reorganising my collection of Megazines. I'll be bagging the Megs themselves while Marg handles my floppies.

But first, there's just time for a game of Star Scams, in which contestants are invited to introduce us to the vacuous media personalities of the future, people who will entertain and amuse the citizens of such places as Mega City One, The Hoop and Termight.

Such luminaries may include the likes of:

Gorgon Ramsey - celebrity chef who takes only the finest ingredients and reduces them to small lumps of solid charcoal
Leonardo Cohen - celebrity inventor who sings mournful dirges about wooden helicopters
Bruise Willis - actor who made a career out of annoying judges
and... Oh, what's the point.