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Messages - Buttonman

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Announcements / Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« on: 15 January, 2021, 07:56:34 PM »
We live to give!

Unless it's money, in which case you can piss off!

Announcements / Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« on: 13 January, 2021, 07:42:06 PM »
How could we deny such a lovely request?!

Firstly, your place on the all time greats list has been confirmed and you have been granted the Beast Identifier code of ((( - don't see this as a row of sad faces, more like three Pringles. The updated chart is below - sorry it's a bit squeewiff - it's bigger than a single snip now!

As for your own efforts your list is below. The Beast records what was published so no retro name changes are allowed!

Announcements / Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« on: 13 January, 2021, 07:23:02 PM »
Wonderful! Real time letter attribution! The Beast shall be duly updated with your wandering locations and indeed name.

Any time I've been printed the prize is normally there before the issue in which the letter appears. Bit of a spoiler really! Given the Progs are a month late I think the prizes will be similarly affected. Probably at least a month before your copy of 'Red razors' hits the mat!

Announcements / Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« on: 13 January, 2021, 06:48:50 PM »

And we’re back and it’s a big Happy, er, 13th January from all of us here at Beast Towers. Alas normal service was provided by the Royal Mail who decided that two weeks into the New Year was the best time to deliver the Christmas Prog to our eager hands. This one always has letters, not least to allow that Lego man in Norway to parade his wares. Thanks to Simon at the subs department who refunded our money and provided a digital copy the very day before the actual Prog arrived. By this time we’d been fleeced £8.50 for a copy on eBay! The ‘Buttonman Beast’ copy has been returned to the Nerve Centre - hopefully a collector’s piece for some young subber or some potential DNA evidence, if nothing else.

Anyway enough of our Prog locating travails, let’s get right to the slightly stale letters which will be reheated by puns and poor banter.

First up with the Letter of the Week, is familiar face Steev Hopper. Steev will he hopping happy with this, his third top ranked offering and possibly his 10th overall. As all Beast devotees know the 10th offering awards a Beast identifier code but is our ‘Steev’ the same as the ‘Steve Hopper’ of Dublin and Plymouth who has two entries in the Beast codex in Progs 836 and Meg 191? If Steev could present evidence including a note from his parent or guardian we will consider his admission to the Pantheon of Champions.

Steev’s letter is what we in the letters community refer to as a ’shooty in’ . Every letter writer and his dog and his dog’s friend will have sent Tharg a note congratulating him on a near seamless service during the pandemic. Although that did include ‘The Order’ and some questionable postal choices, the service has been great and it was an obvious topic for letter submission. To be fair, Steev’s effort is decent. Steev has enjoyed ‘The Out’ and ‘Hook-Jaw’ and thanks Tharg for not running some second rate strips or old reprints. These points are up for debate, but they are well made and come from a position of honesty and  one of ‘I want a graphic novel this bad’.

Next up we get double teamed by David and Stephanie Walker of Exeter. This couple can boast ten Beast entries between them but alas , no Beast Code can be awarded at present. Stephanie had sole credit in her Prog 2136 effort, so we have individual scores of 8.5 to David and 1.5 to Stephanie. If this decision causes marital discord, so be it. No doubt this will be the Exeter Chiefs talking point at their breakfast bar or indeed pillows. David’s 8.5 includes an entry from Prog 314 when he was in Derby - is this the same scriber? We say nay, unless evidence can be provided to the contrary.

The letter is a bit strange in that it has co-signatories but has the frequent use of ‘I’. Is this a fly attempt to get two prizes from the verdant one? If the personal pronouns don’t show up the fallacy of the joint signature, the content surely does - two people to say to give someone a pat on the back about a shark tale? The ten-year old daughter could have managed this on her own, and maybe she did!

Stan Wilks of Barnstaple next, with his first effort to see print. It’s also the first letter from Barnstaple and the first letter from a ‘Stan’. Stan’s a name we don’t see much of any more - a bit like Ethelred or Adolf. There has been one other ‘Wilks’ in the shape of Matt who holds the Wilks crown with his mighty two from Progs 1026 and 1073 from the halcyon days of 1997.

Stan likes an adjective, with ‘zarjaz’, ‘scintillating’ and ‘unexpected’ all making early appearances in his flowery, uninventive and laboured letter. He goes on to say ‘Hook-Jaw is ‘tight’, ‘gorgeous’ and ‘intriguing’ . He ends by showing he likes American things now by saying the creators have “hit a home run”. Gee-Whiz that’s fierce commentary!

Another newbie next in the shape of Chris Allen of Thailand. Chris claims to have had a letter printed in Prog 578 and The Beast can corroborate this claim. He was living in Rugby then in the far off days of 1988, when lady-boys and green curries would be the subjects of a madman’s dreams. This is also the first letter on the list from Thailand, although there have been loads of ‘Allens’ and  a mighty 275 ‘Chris’ or ‘Christopher’s.

Chris starts in annoying fashion with a ‘Howzit going’ followed by an insult to our Emerald Editor. His letter is a trip through his attic as he recounts his one time letter glory and about his receipt of an original Pat Mills script. We just hope Pat doesn’t catch wind of this unauthorised use of his characters and writing. Chris should probably send a cheque, just to be sure.

Good first name, Stephen Parry next from e-mailland. This is Stephen’s fourth appearance with the previous three giving his location as ‘Birmingham’. Don’t hide your roots Stephen , you have Duran Duran and Barry off ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet’ to be proud of. Stephen’s first appearance was in Prog 1976 in 2016 and he now has half the total of ‘Parry’ leader Na (Nigel) who’s 8th and whose last appearance to date was in Prog 2124 in 2019.

Stephen talks up the ‘Regened’ issues which is probably a wise move if you want to see print. He likes Abelard Snazz stories - don’t we all, but the Dillon/Moore ones surely? He closes by giving a big shout out to the letterers, calling them ‘unsung heroes’. He also throws in the colourists as an afterthought too - what about the printer and the guy who forgets to deliver the issue for a month ? They deserve something too!

Not long now. Luther Davies next and we wished we watched the show as  there are probably some puns to be had. <looks at Wikipedia> Luther Elbas his way onto the page with a Ruth(Wilson)less  attack on correct numbering that will make many readers (Mark) Cross. His structure is poor as he starts with offering a double but ends up with a three-bagger; each more positive than the last - it’ll never catch on.

Luther is from e-mailland also but we know he lives, or used to live, in Chipping Norton possibly alongside Jeremy Clarkson. In that vein his letter is like a rocket ship driven by a maniac - on steroids!

Last up is the familiar Norwegian family gathering of David, Oskar and Feliks Rees who celebrate their 11th entry on the Beast all-time table and cement their /// identifier code - they are only participants who have added to their tally this issue. David first appeared in a Letter of the Week offering in 2010’s Prog 1677 and the family’s Lego and model offerings have been a staple of the Christmas issue since 2014. That’s seven Christmases in a row and at this rate they are only 89 festive seasons away from hitting the top slot (jointly).

In true 2020 style their offering this year is a digital one, rather than an actual build. It’s pretty nice but we’d prefer something solid that we could break by Boxing Day, or by Valentine’s Day if it was delivered by Royal Mail.

Overall a jolly festive offering of seven letters that brightened a dull mid January day. This was the first letters sighting in 10 Progs and an untold number of Megs so let’s hope Tharg’s New Year resolution is to get the letters page back to being a weekly offering.

Happy (Chinese) New Year!

General / Re: Prog drought!
« on: 11 January, 2021, 11:41:43 PM »
I got 2214 yesterday and finally Christmas Prog 2212 today! Only because I paid over the odds on eBay for it! Subs refunded the issue and sent a link for the digital copy to me as they have none to send out, which was good service - can't control what happens once the Royal Mail get hold of it. Hopefully a one off as missed my Christmas Prog, port and mince pies!

Off Topic / Re: 500 Days of Slimmer - and Some Other Crap Too...
« on: 01 January, 2021, 02:24:40 AM »
Well here we are, finally in 2021. 2020 was like a bum wipe that never seemed to end, despite the mountain of toilet paper we filled out the garage with during several panic buying sprees. More importantly I hit 50 on April 1st , so there are only three further instalments of this thread to come! Oh and Happy New Year!

Just when it was starting to develop too, with people finally coming on board having gorged on everything X-Hamster has to offer.

No weight update this month as Christmas was always going to be a bust. I was actually OK and the family’s agreement to do a secret Santa only meant that the chocolate haul was markedly down this year. Yay! I haven’t checked but I suspect I’ve added a pound or two to the already behind schedule 15 stone. With three months to go, 13 should be achievable at a push. I will be the belle of the ball at my 50th party, in my man cave with just the wife to marvel at me getting back into the 32” waist jeans!

There was also nothing to report on the letters front although I understand that there was a double page spread in the Christmas issue. Alas, I’ve still to receive that one so we had a blank month on the LETTERSENTERTAINYOU publishing schedule. I also didn’t write in at all as all my comics were at least a week late and the early bird catches all the published letter worms unfortunately.

Things did progress on the Movie blog front with The Definite Article Blog hitting the target 250 reviews 3 months early. 7 December entries took us over the line with Guy Ritchie’s The Gentlemen being the surprise pick of the month. I plan to upset my reader by mothballing this blog as it was a lot easier than I thought. My TV planner, Amazon Prime and Netflix watch lists are all jammed up with ‘The …’ films. If I was a better planner I’d do a themed month of animals or something but instead I’m going to watch stuff because I want to and not because of some self imposed challenge.

Over on the ‘W’ blog, five reviews saw us to 344 entries meaning that this should be cleared off by next month’s update. Pick of a runtish litter was the Austrian entry for Best Foreign Film at the Oscars What We Wanted

Which was pretty good but a bit depressing.

The steps average fell a bit to 11,938 but the gym is shut again and have you seen the weather? I have maintained a 10k minimum for each day for a further month and know the streets 2 miles in all directions like the back of my hand.

Nothing back from Tipping Point and there are still no Munros in my council area.

I am planning for a dry January (after celebrating the Rangers win on the 2nd) and will cut out all the rubbish as well as most bread and milk in my tea. A fun month awaits.

I hope you are all doing well?

Prog / Re: Prog 2212 - Elecrtifying 100 page Xmas Issue!
« on: 23 December, 2020, 04:42:27 PM »
The automated response I received said they were closed between the 23rd and 5th January. If you ain't got it now you a'int getting it this year!

Prog / Re: Prog 2212 - Elecrtifying 100 page Xmas Issue!
« on: 23 December, 2020, 03:09:13 PM »
No sign of this issue at the Paisley Wastes. Was going to send the subs droid a note today - is this still missing in a lot of places. Has anything been said about the delays?

Classifieds / Re: 2020 Mega City Book Club Xmas charity raffle!
« on: 13 December, 2020, 09:24:11 PM »
Woohoo I won a prize! Thanks Eamonn, you truly are Board Santa.  :D

Me too! A great effort from Eamonn and a cracking total raised.

General / Re: Dredd epics ranked
« on: 02 December, 2020, 05:36:35 PM »
Following! They could make this a bit simpler!

Sign in to Blogger.
In the left menu, click Reading list .
In the top right, click Manage reading list .
Click Add.
Type the URL of the blog you want to follow.
Click Next.
Choose whether to follow publicly or anonymously.
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Classifieds / Re: 2020 Mega City Book Club Xmas charity raffle!
« on: 02 December, 2020, 01:10:00 PM »
Seasonal bump for this worthwhile endeavour - I've got mine!

General / Re: Dredd epics ranked
« on: 02 December, 2020, 09:47:53 AM »
Great stuff Alex - will follow with interest.

How do you subscribe? The suscribe(atom) button just leads me to a page with loads of text.

Apocalypse War for the win!

Off Topic / Re: 500 Days of Slimmer - and Some Other Crap Too...
« on: 01 December, 2020, 03:40:54 PM »

Nah - the advent calendar needs a 2000AD connection.  What's the 2000AD version of slave girl Leia?  Durham Red?  Anderson sexily waking up having had a nightmare and walking around in a silky nightie?*

I wonder if silky nighties are Justice Department issue for Psi-Judges?

Anything by Ian Gibson and you can sign me up!

Off Topic / Re: 500 Days of Slimmer - and Some Other Crap Too...
« on: 01 December, 2020, 03:39:28 PM »
Don't forget if you are hitting the gym alot weight lose might not go down but you BMI might be improving as you are turning into a ripped adonis and muscle has weight?

I say this with absolutely no real knowledge but with a reassuring smile!

I mostly just run at the gym - try to do about 10k in an hour - I like the smooth surface and regular pace - and no hills (unless you want them) potholes or dog shit.

I would say I am slightly more toned and clothes are fitting better - muscle does weigh more than fat!

Off Topic / Re: 500 Days of Slimmer - and Some Other Crap Too...
« on: 01 December, 2020, 09:16:27 AM »
Another month goes by and we hit the first day of advent. Good time for weight loss schemes. ice to see some interaction last month - love the photos Shaolin Monkey - need one of those slave girl Leias though..

Let’s see what happened this month (tl:dr : not much).

Lose Weight: Got to the hallowed land of 15 stone. Probably two pounds down on the month which isn’t great given I was at the gym a dozen times and kept my steps up. At least I moved from ‘obese’ to ‘overweight’ on the BMI scale. Small victories and all that.

Part of my downfall was pillaging aquarterof.com and Portugal vineyards. Hard not to over indulge when there’s naught all else to do. 4 months to got and still 2.5 stone left. Let’s call it two and it’s a goer. Obviously Christmas will be quieter so hopefully status quo for now and a really miserable January.

Update Blogs Regularly : Well semi-regularly - managed 5 ‘W’ films and 4 ‘Definite articles. Pretty slim picking with The Stranger (TV) being top ‘The’ title and Whiplash  the best ‘W’. No it’s not a bondage film.

18 to go to see these done, so this will be crossed off sooner, rather than later.

Update the Letters Thread : No Letters at all this month. They are officially extinct in the Megazine and are akin to hen’s teeth in the Prog. Poor show, although circumstances may be dictating this terrible situation.

Walk 12,000 steps a day : Not fallen below 10,000 any day for months and the rolling average is now 12,705. The gym has shut so I’ve had to start pounding the streets for my running days, which I can feel in my joints already. Do enjoy a good walk with a podcast - Clinton Baptiste is the current favourite.

Get on a Game show - Still awaiting Tipping Point and some Irish bloke got my Chaser job!

Have 105 Letters Published : No chance of this unless they publish an all me special which seems unlikely at best. Not writing in so much so that won’t help. No letters being published at all creates a vicious circle of no letters!

Bag 50 Munros : No Munros in my post code unfortunately!

So there you go another month but not many to go. If progress was a word, I’d say ‘sluggish’. See you in 2021 if we’re spared!

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