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Messages - Lady Festina

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Latest news from Uncle Fester and I here at Disconnected Press, because we realise we've been VERY VERY quiet on here recently....

Tch. We don't hear from you in months and then as soon as you want to flog something...  ::)  ;)

I told you it was shameless.....

Latest news from Uncle Fester and I here at Disconnected Press, because we realise we've been VERY VERY quiet on here recently....

We have a new book coming out! It's called CROSS and it's an anthology of political humour, satire and the occasional robot. We're not party political; our aim is to poke fun at all sides whilst also illuminating some of the inequities and injustices in the way we are governed.

If that doesn't float your boat, how about our list of creators, which includes: Rob Williams, Emma Beeby, Tom Eglington, David Baillie, PJ Holden, Ben Willsher, Nick Dyer and Tom Foster, as well as the Forum's own Richmond Clements. Some of our favourite script and art droids turn their attention to the present day...

We're running a Kickstarter at the moment to cover some of the production costs (those droids take a lot of oil); rewards include pages of original artwork from the book and artwork commissions from Uncle Fester aka Conor Boyle aka the artist who helped make the dark judges dark again in Dark Judgement a couple of years ago. For the writers among you, we've also got script reviews by David Baillie and writing consultations with yours truly. Or you can simply pledge to buy the book for a mere £10! The Kickstarter is at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/657603937/cross-a-political-satire-anthology

If Kickstarter's not your thing, then you can buy the book from us after 15 November - we're launching at ThoughtBubble in Leeds (we'll be in the Royal Armouries hall, nice and close to The Psychedelic Journal of Time Travel table), and then we'll be on sale via our website (www.disconnectedpress.co.uk) and hopefully through some of your favourite comic retailers too.

Thanks for reading :-)

Events / Re: Thought Bubble, Leeds, 15th & 16th November
« on: 29 October, 2014, 06:55:46 PM »
Uncle Fester and I will be there from Friday all the way through til Tuesday.... We're going to be soooo broken by Tuesday morning. Just so you know where to find us:

Friday evening: there's a pre-con piss-up featuring live (good) music and general comic art shenanigans. Free to get in and they say the booze will be cheap: http://raygunroads.com/w/ (apologies for the annoying TV flicker event on that website)

ThoughtBubble: we'll have a Disconnected Press table in the Royal Armouries Hall. We've been upgraded (not bumped) from the big hall into the little one where the panels are held. Our table is in the centre of the hall close to Dr Geof and His Remarkable Tea Museum (ie the steampunk people).

Very excited as we'll be launching our newest anthology: CROSS. It's a book full of politics, but don't let that put you off. It's also FUNNY, well written and beautifully drawn and features some proper droids (Rob Williams, PJ Holden, Ben Willsher, Dave Baillie, Nick Dyer, Emma Beeby, Tom Eglington, Tom Foster) as well as the Forum's very own Richmond Clements! If you can't wait til ThoughtBubble, you can preorder your copy at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/657603937/cross-a-political-satire-anthology

I absolutely plan to head over to the Drinking Party on Saturday afternoon; I just need to think of a decent excuse!

Sunday: for those who are still around afterwards, there will probably be some informal and exhausted food 'n' drink related activities. And for anyone still in Leeds on Monday night, I'm speaking at Laydeez Do Comics.

Come and say hello!

Events / Re: Future Shock! Doc Gathering - 28th October London
« on: 29 October, 2014, 06:41:45 PM »
Loved the documentary (and also seeing so many Forum folks without the chaotic surroundings of a comic con around us). Wished the showing was about three hours earlier so we have all caught up more...

The film was great - it was in danger of being a bit of a "isn't 2000AD great?" fest, but the Dark Ages section, and some earlier Kevin O'Neill anger about royalties made it feel more of a balanced appraisal. Some wonderful anecdotes (Trevor Hairsine's fax machine!); some pointed barbs; and real insight into the creative culture / counter-culture of the late '70s and the corporate frustrations of the '90s.

If you get a chance, absolutely go see it.

(Oh, and hello Forum it's been bloody ages since my last post... Been busy comicking... Latest project is at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/657603937/cross-a-political-satire-anthology). I'll post about it in the appropriate section before I get told off for mentioning it here :-)

If needs be I can take over my old role as Short Story Comp Dictator.

I have what I feel is a good idea to reboot the comp: "Tales of the Citi-Def". Anything goes, just involve...well, the Citi-Def. Let me know if you need me to carry this on, Lady Fest.

LOCUSTS!!!!! Welcome back to the Comp page! We missed you :-)

And yes please.... Bluemeanie has also offered to help out, so it'd be great if you could look after it between you. You might want to check with the rest of the thread if they're happy for you to bring a theme or would prefer a random selection from this month's entries to pick something, but otherwise, it's over to you :-)

OK, so poetry is not the Forum's thing... (Oddly enough, when we had a limerick competition, we were inundated...)

Anyhoo: would you like me to set up a voting thread or are you happy to just cast your votes on here? Once we've resolved this one, I really will have to hand over the comp to someone else though (I'll do my best to actually enter though!)...

Hello all: just to let you know, I'm changing the closing date of the competition!! It will now be midnight on Sunday 22nd December.

So get rhymin'.

General / 'TWAS THE PROG BEFORE CHRISTMAS.... - The 34th Forum Story Comp
« on: 26 November, 2013, 09:02:15 PM »
The joint winners of the 33rd said competition - Messrs Skullmo and eamon1961 - have put their heads together and come up with this festive charmer for your yuletide delectation.

Our competition theme this time is: 'twas the Prog before Christmas.

And the kicker is: submissions should preferably be in the form of poems.

Boo-yah - you weren't expecting that, were you!? Mwa ha ha ha. (Power? Getting to me? Never!)

Extra credit for polysyllabic rhyme and for brevity. Closing date: let's say four weeks from now. 23:59 on Christmas Eve. We'll vote over Christmas - ho ho ho!

General / Re: RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:48:55 PM »
Last but not least, our Honourable Mention goes to Lobo Baggins, whose work The Freefall Tyger caused us to question our judgements about literary form. Which was nice.

So, Messrs 'Mo and '61 - it's up to you to conspire and create a theme for us all for Comp Number 34. PM me and bluemeanie and between us we'll get something up and running (no, meanie, not that....).

General / Re: RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:46:56 PM »
Mrs Joyce's Boys
By eamon1961

"Listen, Ma, I've really got to go now ...

No, Ma, of course I love you but I'm incredibly busy just now. If Dredd knew I was talking to you he'd have my guts for garters. No, Ma, you can't speak to him. That wouldn't help.

Wait a minute...


No, Ma, I didn't say 'hurrufh' at you. I was jumping.

Yes, jumping. I'm at work right now, Ma.

Yes, I did get the parcel. Thank you, Ma. What? No, I'm not wearing them now, they wouldn't go with the uniform. Yes, of course I liked them. I wear them when I'm off duty, Ma.

Excuse ... huff... me just a sec, Ma.


No, Ma, I'm not being rude. I'm running.

What's that? Yes, of course I'm wearing clean underwear. Yes, I know I could get in an accident and have to go to the hospital. No, I'm sure they won't think that, Ma.

Wait ...hurrughh ... Got it! Thank Grud for that. Give me that control stick.

Sorry, Ma. Yes I know I shouldn't take his name in vain. But I jumped onto an out of control flier and I ...what? Yes, I will, Ma. Yes, this Sunday I promise.Yes, twice.

Oh, Ma, don't be like that. Look I'm landing on the ramp now, Ma. Dredd and Pax are waiting for me ...
Yes, you do know Pax. She's that East Meg Judge I told you about.

No, Ma, I don't think she's the one. She's a colleague, Ma. I work with her and they are very strict about that stuff here. Yes, Ma, I'm sure she is very clean.

Ok, I'm going to sign off, Ma. I'll call you tonight. I've got to report to Dredd now.
No, I won't tell him that, Ma. Goodbye now."

"Quite finished, Joyce?"

"Yes, Sir"

"Unconventional aerial approach but effective. Next time use your safety line, that's what it's for. Sentencing?"

"Well they're just a couple of lads, Sir. Just larking about really. I'd say a couple of months juve community service."

"Hmmm. Pax?"

"Piloting a poorly maintained flier. Reckless endangerment. Four months juve cubes. Adjusted to three months with DOC correction factor."

Joyce, you will retake the sentencing module when you get off duty tonight. No more stunts like that without the safety line. Can't afford to lose any more Judges."

"Yes, Sir"

"And instruct control not to put any more personal calls through while you're on assessment."

"I already did that, Sir. She still gets through. You know what mothers are like."

"No, Joyce. No I don't."

General / Re: RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:46:12 PM »
Almost Joyce's Wake
By Skullmo

but he displays considerable courage

Dredd steadfastly, stoic and assured as the fiery shuttle fell forlornly past the crash and burn of the flaming screaming city. Allabrokenandanbeatingheartspumping boom boom boom in his chest Joyce was back to the landing pad. Boom. Boom. Boom. So good to get his feet on dry rockcrete. Crockreat.

Boom. Boom. Booooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Did I ever tell ye I was cadet jumping champion of 2129?

Smoke rising and an element of truth in his words examined by 2 sets of bionic eyes though through words all lain out alien tidy neat anawl so typedoncomputerina bubble to sea. All lame and spidery. Seen Cyrillic, Brave and lyric their Giodelic charm.


They were all nations united by disaster into one flowing stream of consciousness. Caught in a labyrinth on the hunt for the baneful bairn. With intentions fair and smiling eyes awl their journey had so far found no result. Sometimes the ending come to you though. Sometimes in stories and songs and sickness the end comes hurtling into your arms.

Then the Goblin King came down all ZowieBowie makeup shut and lovelorn darts. Dark. From skyward shuttling, strutting and wayward and hurtling at them. Hurting them. Then Joyce jumped up. Boom. Alla fire yan flaming shuttle come though zooming pasts too fast, Boom, and Joyce a heartbeating jumped on. Boom. Missed.  Landed. Safe.

I can’t believe ye let fellers drive like so in the Big Meg!

Joyce’s knowledge of Mega-City One law is poor,

General / Re: RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:44:56 PM »
Yep, that's right. It's a tie!!

In joint first place: Almost Joyce by Skullmo and Mrs Joyce's Boys by eamon1961!!!

And here they are:

General / Re: RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:43:50 PM »
In second place:


General / Re: RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:43:30 PM »
In 3rd place:

Forn Devil by Alski

The bar was called Joyce’s, so Joyce couldn’t in good conscience walk past without sampling a little of what Mega City had to offer. Back in the Emerald Isle, Judges were encouraged to stimulate the local economy, at least the brewery part of it, so he didn’t see what harm it would do. After all, it was his night off to get acclimatised before Dredd turned him into a Mega City judge.

Mindful of his new status, he contented himself with a sythi-beer, (as non alcoholic as a leprechaun’s fart), mainly because he had a feeling that Dredd was watching his every move. He supposed all Mega City judges felt that way, and it tasted pretty good so what the feck.

“What the sneck’s THAT?”, snarled a voice, accompanied by a rough tap on the shoulder.

“Huh?” replied Joyce. “What the what’s what?”

“Your tatt. Looks a bit foreign, buddy,” said the large, drunk cit, forcing the words through teeth filed into points.

Joyce realized he meant the green tattoo on the back of his neck.

“Oh, that’s me lucky shamrock, so it is,” he replied genially. “Keeps me safe and sound as a Brit Cit pound it does.”

The cit digested the information, the process quite slow.

“So I was right!” he exclaimed triumphantly. “You’re not from round here, are ya boy?”

“You’ve got me there, sir,” admitted Joyce. “I’m over from the old Emerald isle, Grud’s own country.”

“We don’t take kindly to foreigners in mega City,” said the cit, pronouncing it ‘Forners’. “If ya ain’t noticed, boy, we done had a little plague problem caused by foreigners.”

“Oh yes,” agreed Joyce. “Terrible business, so it was. I can’t blame you for not liking foreigners. Good luck to you, Sir.”

With that, he turned back to the bar and sipped his synthi-beer. Nice fella, he thought. Next thing he knew, instead of a tap on the shoulder he got a proper shove in the back, hard enough to make him spill his pint. The knowledgable amongst you should be aware that this is a VERY serious crime in the Emerald Isle, often punishable by a good kick in the knackers.

Joyce turned round again to find the pointy toothed cit, joined by six of his friends, all of similar appearance and disposition. He noticed one had a patch on the front of his jacket, proudly stating his membership of the “Mike Tyson Block Biters Association”.

“Good evening, fellas,” he said with a smile. “I’m guessing you don’t like foreigners either?”

“Damn straight,” growled one.

“Then why the feck are you in an Irish bar?” Joyce asked, genuinely curious.

As confusion spread over their faces, Joyce got his retaliation in first, and as his elbows, knees and head flew left right and centre, the Mike Tyson Block Biters Association went down for the count.

“Jeez, mister,” the barman said afterwards. “You’d better split, else the judges will cube you for sure.”

“No worries,” said Joyce. “I’m a judge meself, off duty as it were.” He finished his pint. “When they wake up tell ‘em to be a little more tolerant in the future.” With that he left the bar, a smile on his face.

Watching on the spy in the sky, Dredd was both impressed and doubtful about his new recruit. Those cits should be in the cubes by now, not let off with a beating. “Joyce's knowledge of Mega-City One Law is poor but he displays considerable courage" he thought. "I can work with that… "

General / RESULTS THREAD - Jumping On - The 33rd Forum Story Comp
« on: 22 November, 2013, 12:42:22 PM »
I finally managed to coincide a day off (before travelling to ThoughtBubble) with the voting deadline for a Story Comp. Hence me doing this rather than bluemeanie....

The challenge this time was to write no more than 500 words on this:

Thought it might be fun to see who can make the best story when you all have to start and end at roughly the same place. So this one will be about making the most of an assigned story situation. You know, like the real 2000AD writers do

2000AD Prog 1850. The jumping on prog. You all have a copy.

There's one panel "Joyce's knowledge of Mega-City One Law is poor but he displays considerable courage". This panel shows a snapshot of another call the three of them took. Tell the rest of that panel's story.

If you haven't got a copy, the panel is http://2000ad.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/joyce-panel.jpg

The votes are in and counted. And here are the results in reverse order....

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