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Messages - Funt Solo

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Creative Common / Re: Folklore Thursday: Island
« on: Today at 04:15:43 am »
Saw this and thought of your work: A dangerous dive into a medieval mystery

It was an odd choice of festive image - the cock was a bit gratuitous. What I was confused by was the intent and the context - I gather from other posts that one of the people represented is another boarder - but why's he naked and dancing around a dead Tharg (if, indeed, that's who that's supposed to be on the ground - and if they're dead at all, as opposed to asleep and farting).  Like I said further up: mostly the image confused me.

I would've thought a cock-warning would be sufficient, but then it's not my message-board and I haven't read the rules of engagement.

It reminded me of "Gold, Frankenstein and Grrrr!", and that's always a good thing.

Saw the image but was mostly confused. I'll attempt to describe it from memory for those that missed it:

Two mostly naked men (one doing a full frontal, the other with union jack y-fronts) are standing atop a pile of (what some might consider) the weaker historical thrills of yesteryear. One of the men is carrying a large assault rifle, that is probably a toy, and he has a goatee. The one with his willie on show has a tattoo on his belly that says something like "Only Dredd can judge me!"

They seem to be celebrating. At their feet, face-down on the pile is what might be a dead (or unconscious?) Tharg, who's doing an enormous gaseous fart. Within the clouds of the fart, rising up between the men, are some of the key, generally understood to be weaker thrills of yesteryear - but not the same ones that are in the pile below.

Loved the punchline under Mongrel. Listening to all the tributes on the Book Club - fascinating and heartfelt.

Off Topic / Re: The Political Thread
« on: 30 November, 2019, 07:05:13 pm »

Off Topic / Re: The Political Thread
« on: 27 November, 2019, 11:02:13 pm »
Very frustrated with C4 News for continuing to ask the same ridiculous question over and over again: basically "The Chief Rabbi said Corbyn was anti-Semitic. How can you continue to support Corbyn?"

It's like saying "Puff the Magic Dragon said Corbyn was bad. How can you continue to support Corbyn?"

Nobody has the balls to suggest that none of us should be listening to the judgement of self-serving fantasists, whatever their particular stripe of bullshit. Not the Chief Rabbi, or any of the various Popes (however entertaining the teachings of Eris), or Ayatollahs, or Archbishops.

Nobody asked that question even has the balls to question the motives of the local Mouth of Yahweh. It's all made up!

Games / Re: Rebellion now own the Bitmap Brothers IP
« on: 26 November, 2019, 10:07:38 pm »
Loved this era of games on my olde Amiga.

I liked everything about Speedball 2 except that my ability to play it sucked.

I got on much better with Cadaver, Gods and The Chaos Engine.  Great games (although the puzzles in Cadaver left me struggling).

General / Re: 2000 AD Advent Calendar SIGN UP thread 2019.
« on: 25 November, 2019, 02:52:45 pm »
Oh,someone took that so I can do 18 th instead.

General / Re: 2000 AD Advent Calendar SIGN UP thread 2019.
« on: 25 November, 2019, 02:51:01 pm »
I’ll do the 7th, but can’t adjust list on this machine.

Off Topic / Re: The Political Thread
« on: 24 November, 2019, 11:09:39 pm »
Reminds me of...

Prog / Re: 2000 AD in Stages
« on: 24 November, 2019, 09:36:07 pm »
Twilight's Last Gleaming (by Ennis) is generally well written but there are a couple of key problems. The population of the city is given as 800 million, which is the pre-Apocalypse War value. A sign of Dredd's encroaching senility?
If you mean the quotation on the final page, it is exactly that - a quotation from Prog 59, correctly labelled as being stated by Dredd in 2100.

That's true, but he also says it in the present in prog 754 (not as a dated quote).

Also, as pointed out by Leigh, the figure given of 43,000,000 being 35% of voters provides us with a voting population of 122,857,143.

Current US voting age population percentage of total population is something like 76%. Assuming MC-1 is similar (using my space maths), that would give a population of 161,654,135.

From previous guesses, it should be somewhere in the region 340-400 million (post-Apoc, post-Nec).

Prog / Re: 2000 AD in Stages
« on: 24 November, 2019, 09:11:34 pm »
The Devil You Know (by Wagner) presents the average citizen as an out of touch ignoramus who doesn't understand what the referendum is, when it is, how to participate or what's at stake.

Twilight's Last Gleaming (by Ennis) is generally well written but there are a couple of key problems. The population of the city is given as 800 million, which is the pre-Apocalypse War value. A sign of Dredd's encroaching senility?

Voter apathy has only 35% of the citizens take part. (It was about 50% in the last presidential election in the US. Local Washington state elections recently this month were below 30%). It's a landslide for the Judges, with 68% of the vote (23% pressed both buttons, 9% voted democracy). I took this as a sign that the vast majority of the citizenry just don't care who's in charge - and that the Dems are a big movement, but not when scaled up to the entire city. I would have thought most sane people wouldn't vote for Trump (because he espouses what I consider to be evil doctrines), but he won the presidency. So: the idea that people will vote for Scunthorpes isn't all that alien.

The bit I hated was when Blondel Dupre weeps and, cowed before her master, says "You are the law, Judge Dredd." It just smacks of a male dominance scenario that doesn't ring true for either Dupre or Dredd.

Prog / Re: 2000 AD in Stages
« on: 24 November, 2019, 03:10:19 pm »

Stage #23: Khronic Ills of Tooth (progs 750-779)

If the first seven hundred progs were the early, turbulent, exciting stages of the River of Thrills, then we've now traveled downstream to the meandering plains. Mind you, this was the year that gave us Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch featuring Loleatta Holloway with Good Vibrations, so the cultural bar is set fairly low.

Towards the end of the stage, there's a heavy ad sequence for prog 780, which is being touted as the Megablast!

Judge Dredd
After an extended period of Comedy Dredd (from Ennis), Wagner returns to carry on the democracy storyline (which had recently helped launch the Megazine with the seminal America). The Devil You Know has Dredd pushing forward with a citizens' vote on whether to form a democratic government or stick with rule by the Judges. A splinter group of Judges plan a coup to stop what they consider an insane mistake. The follow-up, Twilight's Last Gleaming finds that voter turnout is weak and (against expectations) the Judge's win the vote by a comfortable margin. Justice One is a great space-set whodunnit from Ennis as the mission is threatened by a murderous Judge.
Judge Dredd::Dennis the Menace crossover Judgement Day, next stage...
Robo-Hunter(*): Escape From Bisleyland [*HARSH REBOOT]
Oh god ... this is a cross between Aliens and Escape from New York [see title], also stealing liberally from several childhood movies. For some reason, the president is a Graceland-era Elvis Presley. Tonally, this is all over the place. Journalists are publicly executed by secret service agents, Pseudo-Sam has a mum now, he's in love with Cutie (but, because he's a shitheel, he hates her body) and they're planning on getting married, she's got magic powers, Hoagy's there (but is summarily executed without comment) but Stogie's not. And none of that is central to the plot of trying to rescue Elvis from a theme park that's been taken over by cute robots. The original Robo-Hunter had a lightness to it that's entirely missing here: now blood splatters the camera as Pseudo-Sam is beaten by brass-knuckle wielding agents, and a young girl (the Newt from Aliens stand-in) is brutally murdered to fuel a cheesy pay-off line. It's like a psycopath's toy shop (or, more accurately, an infant playing with someone else's toys).
Psuedo-Hunter returns first in the 1992 Sci-Fi Special and also in the next stage...
Strontium Dogs *SPIN-OFF*
An atmospheric continuation of the storyline of The Final Solution, this follows Feral as he battles norm troops who are subjugating the mutie population of Britain. It's a dark tale where every victory is tainted with loss.
Returns in 1993...

Universal Soldier: The Indestructible Man
The cover of prog 751's headline says "Universal Solider is back! Any objections?" Well ... the key one would be my level of confusion. Is Kelly the same guy that was in the first two series? Or is the new guy with the scar the one from those? Or have I got those mixed up? Anyway: a company is bankrupting itself trying to destroy Kelly, but he's indestructible because he has a magic gem embedded in his chest. All he wants is to be left alone, so it would be cheaper for them to just leave him to it. Anyway, they hire scar-face to chase him down, which he does: but then him and Kelly become Tai Chi friends and teleport around the galaxy. There's a woeful parady of Slaine towards the end, but you need to be good in the first place to pull that off.
This is the last outing for the Universal Soldier, although the character-free Kelly turns up in the one-off 2000 AD Action Special, I think...

A.B.C. Warriors: Khronicles Of Khaos, Book One
Lord of the Rings meets Warhammer 40K as hobbits and space marines inhabit this stupendously rendered tale of pagan wish-fulfilment. Even though Ro-Jaws is hangin' out, it's clear he's not a warrior, so Hammerstein, Blackblood, Joe Pineapples, Deadlock, Mongrel and Mek-Quake are joined by new recruit Morrigun (the first female warrior) as they begin their ritualistic murder mission to collect seven heads for Hekate. Oh, and it's a comedy: "Nobody honks on an ABC Warrior and lives!"
Returns for the second book in the next stage...

Anderson, Psi-Division: Engram
After a 40-prog break, we get a single page "previously on", which wouldn't be a bad idea in modern Tooth for those long-break thrills. Cass is in a padded cell because her hallucinations are causing her to attack colleagues. She delves deep within her own mind, breaking through blocks placed there by Justice Department to close off a dark memory from her past. In a fascinating tale of patriarchal control, her own experience (of being molested by her father, who she then accidentally kills via her nascent psychic powers) is denied her for questionable reasons. Decades after this she's usually being drawn as a much younger version of herself: often sexualized. Still, as this tale has it, there's always hope.
Next shows up in the 1992 Judge Dredd Mega-Special...

I loved Silent Running as a kid, but I re-watched it recently and one of the central plot strands is that Freeman Lowell, a botanist, doesn't understand photosynthesis. That only worked for kid-me because I was ignorant of how nonsensical that is. Anyway: imagine Greta Thunberg was Dirty Harry, and you're someway to the tone of this aggro-Green tale of totalitarian environmentalism. Central Park is taken over by an enormous sentient plant which can only be defeated through the power of long conversations. The enemy is *yawn* the unreasonably unreasonable man in charge. The hero *snore* is a Green Bobby who punches his way out of all problems. He's so inconsequential that he's not even in the final scene.
Tis a one an done.

Bix Barton: The Bloated Case of the Fatted Keef
"A Tale of Ameobas and Cannibalism in Catford". Yup. (Also, there's an enormous god-like urinal filled with sloshing ... marmite?) Say it in a booming voiceover voice: "TOILETS ... IN ... SPACE!"
Bix returns in the 1993 Yearbook...

Durham Red: Island Of The Damned *SPIN-OFF*
Durham Red (still disturbingly draining the blood of her enemies) is imprisoned by the insane Gothlord, where the sweat of suffering prisoners is harvested as a psychadelic drug.
Red returns in the 1993 Yearbook...

Brigand Doom: Voodoo Child
Starring John Houseman, who played Mr. Bartholomew from Rollerball (1975), as Mr. Bartholomew from Rollerball. Brigand is reanimated under the control of a posh weirdo who's collecting zombies. Embarrassed by his own smell, he enlists the help of the investigator who killed him. Tellingly, this ends with pretty much the exact scene that ended the first series.
Next pops the nitrate capsules in the 1992 Sci-Fi Special...

Skizz II: Alien Cultures *NOT BY ALAN*
Skizz has been quarantined on a barren planet whilst Cornelius is carrying around the computer brain of Skizz's ship on Earth. A wayward tale brings together the Earthly protagonists from the first series, and Skizz variously tries to kill himself then save Earth from extinction. Borrowing the idea of Earth's destruction used in Hitchiker's Guide, this is difficult to swallow because Skizz's race seemed powerful but fair in the original: and yet here they're unthinking and cruel.
A third book looms in 1994...

From Third World War in the pages of Crisis, comes contemporary Slaine-a-like Finn: an eco-terrorist with a mullet, battling evil alien gods in the guise of ... tremble ... accountants.
Book II starts in prog 807...

Tales from Beyond Science *NEW THRILL*
These are, erm, one-off tales from, uhm ... well, they don't make scientific sense, y'see. Tis like Tales of the Unexpected meets The Twilight Zone, so it is.
We get a final one of these in the 1994 Sci-Fi Special...

The Clown *NEW THRILL*
The Clown and his pony, Toby are best of friends, with a great working relationship. When thieves murder Toby, The Clown goes bananas and sets out for (operatic) revenge.
An intro to a second series crops up in 1993's prog 841...

[The] Harlem Heroes featuring Silver: Grey Ghost Overflight
A prequel in which Silver (an arms dealer) fights back when the trade show she's at is taken over by unlikely mercenaries seeking to hijack a stealth fighter. This wouldn't have been out of place in Hotspur.
Accounts Div brings this version of the Heroes back in 1995...


 - Barney
 - The 2000 AD ABC

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