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There's certainly a tremendous sense of value with Anderson's arse in that pic, BM.

What I'm now waiting for is the announcement of Russ Meyer as director of the new Dredd film "Beyond the sector of the ultravixens"...

"c'mon girls, let's give 'im a whuppin', etc"

...sigh. I knew I shouldn't have mentioned the A-Team.

Okay, so I'm stuck in not-so-tropical Canada, still waiting for winter to end.  This means I have time to ponder life's great questions like "if Mr. T is so scared of flying, how did he get to Vietnam?"

Anyway, I've been reading a bunch of back Progs, and it got me wondering about the first appearance of Lady Judges.  Any advance on Prog 127? (Classic Bolland story, The Fog, with an un-named Fem-Judge.  I know she's a lady 'cos she's got lipstick and bumps, and she's got her badge on the wrong side).

Prior to this, I can't spot any Judges-with-bumps, at least in the Progs I have here.  I did notice a letter (Prog 124) demanding that Tharg print a story with a heroine rather than a hero - apparently "script robot Howard was supposed to write a story about a female judge but was unfortunately frightened by a dog on the way to the Command Module" (so we got the Doomsday Dogs instead) but a Judge Heroine was in the works.

A few progs later we got the first (?) named Judge (Harkness, In Death of a Judge) but she got a bit of a bum deal to say the least.  So I guess the first Lady Judge of a heroine persuasion would be ...Anderson.  Or am I wrong?


Anyway "Lady Judges, good or bad?"

And which fictional / non-fictional character would you like to see get a Lady Judge Makeover?

I vote for Judge Bridget Jones
(Tuesday.  My arse looks huge in this uniform; too many mock chocks v. v. bad. etc.)

I reckon Rac and Max are both right; more than six and tons.  Especially with the new 'fatty squad'.  Tons could just be one of them!  Reinforced lawmasters with side-stabilising bellywheels (lovehandle wheels?) and hi-ex pies...  you know it makes sense...

Speaking of fatties, Tony Hancock was a heavyweight championship eater in an episode of Hancock's half hour back in the 50's, and I did wonder if there was a two-ton-Tony connection?  Sid James dislocated Tony's jaw to increase his gape, and was planning on removing all his molars to increase his "cake'ole capacity"...

(assuming there's still a bar)

ming: "the milky bars are on me!

...and an orange juice for the lady, a milk for Floyd, and a pint of WD-40 for cybermax"

"what's everyone else having?"

ming watches uzi riding off into the sunset, and thinks "he looks just like that kid on the tricycle in the shining" before going back to picking bits of oranges and or melons out of his pants.  He dusts (or whatever the appropriate term is for bits of oranges and or melons) himself down and picks up a poster that is blowing around in the postapocalypse breeze...

ming ducked for cover as soon as the trouble started.
This place is getting rougher all the time, he thinks, mildly cursing the Trout Gang.
Exiting through the swing doors, he runs out from the dusky saloon into the bright daylight...
...only to collide with a huge sheet of glass that two workers happen to be carrying across the muddy street.
'why does this always happen to me?" he moans, as he tumples through a pile of neatly stacked cardboard boxes, finally coming to rest in a pile of oranges and or melons.

And there's a Chris Morris club guide on the Warp records website...
"Ingenious bar conversion of London's fattest lamp-post.  Just 12 feet in diameter, but arranged deep into the earth over 13 floors..."

Link: http://www.warprecords.com/bluejam/barguide/" target="_blank">Throwin' shapes in the church of dance

You missed it - Blackblood got in there before you (Dredd Movie News thread).  Thanks anyway!

I just beat Green-Bonce at Supernova on this very site, so can I be Top Trumps?

Failing that, I'll start eating pizza with sauerkraut on, and then I WILL be Top Trumps; eau-de-Prog will be a distant memory...

Welcome GrudAlmighty...

"No no...not THE TEETH!! Aiiieeeeee!!!!"

(Flying buzz-saw pilot in the Cursed Earth saga, moments before terminally crashing into the Jimmy Carter carving on Mount Rushmore)

Yes, it's like one of those 60's plots to put LSD in the reservoirs.  Someone's spiked Trout's tank and now he's pickled to the gills.  Bwa ha ha.

Gasp!  Maybe that's where the chem-clouds on Nu-Earth came from!  A future world polluted by stink-progs...

I think we should be told the truth.  Whaddya mean we can't handle the truth?

If this is a free gift, how do you keep it attached so you can flog it on ebay for megabucks later on?  Other than not opening it and burying it in the garden in a Blue Peter time capsule stylee?

Nice.  My favourite idea is one that my brother had years ago; get your ashes loaded into a great big firework of the rocket variety and - kablooey - ooooh - aahhhhhh - etc.

I think Philip Pulman's stepfather was given this very send-off a while back, which was nice.

ming