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Author Topic: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments  (Read 412336 times)

Peter Wolf

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #15 on: 10 August, 2009, 04:18:26 pm »
I've eaten something that has slightly upset my stomach, giving me tremendously bad wind. And tonight is "date night". Married squaxx will understand my mild annoyance.

Steev

I hate to imagine what would happen if your stomach was seriously upset or inconsolable.

Try drinking some Prune juice as it will calm down your stomach considerably.This bit of advice if heeded will please and satisfy my childish and destructive personality considerably.

Also you might have to cancel the date you have fixed up for tonight especially if it is the first date you have with this person as you might not create a very good first impression and when you are on a date first impressions count.Give her plenty of notice as girls dont like being stood up.

I am not married but i can understand your annoyance over this.
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Dandontdare

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #16 on: 10 August, 2009, 09:38:20 pm »
I've come back to work to discover that my company no longer deems it acceptable for me to have my ID swipe card attached to my belt on one of those retractable elastic thingies that they issued me with, but that it ABSOLUTELY MUST be worn around my neck on a bright blue lanyard (I even hate the word 'lanyard') so that it gets tangled with my headset lead, clatters on my desk and keyboard and makes me look like a tit.

SmallBlueThing

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #17 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:24:06 pm »
I've come back to work to discover that my company no longer deems it acceptable for me to have my ID swipe card attached to my belt on one of those retractable elastic thingies that they issued me with, but that it ABSOLUTELY MUST be worn around my neck on a bright blue lanyard (I even hate the word 'lanyard') so that it gets tangled with my headset lead, clatters on my desk and keyboard and makes me look like a tit.

I feel your pain, brother. My company have issued "identity cards", ostensibly so if we are in the community with service users who are displaying challenging behaviour, we can flash them and reassure the general public that any techniques we may use to "calm them down" are in the best interests of the person involved and they should not be alarmed.

I made my disssatisfaction with the design very clear at template stage. But ohhhh no, I was overruled by a fucking idiot.

Hence, I now have a little laminated card with my picture on it, which states in big bold letters "This person has an Autistic Spectrum Disorder and/ or Learning Disability". No I bloody don't, but the person I am with might.

Useful in getting into cinemas cheap, I guess- but not overly professional!

Steev

.

Roger Godpleton

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #18 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:24:39 pm »
No-one ever died of repeatedly ingesting minute quantities of clay and graphite. So there.

What do you think causes syphilis?
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Peter Wolf

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #19 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:28:21 pm »
No-one ever died of repeatedly ingesting minute quantities of clay and graphite. So there.

What do you think causes syphilis?

An infection from the Treponema Pallidum bacterium.
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Jim_Campbell

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #20 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:28:45 pm »


What do you think causes syphilis?

Shagging your Mum, mostly.

Cheers!

Jim
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Roger Godpleton

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #21 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:32:20 pm »
My mum has been dead for 3 years.
He’s only trying to be what following how his dreams make you wanna be, man!

Jim_Campbell

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #22 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:39:28 pm »
My mum has been dead for 3 years.

Should probably have cleared up by now, then. Result!

Quickly, Manuel! The shovel

Cheers

Jim
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I, Cosh

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #23 on: 10 August, 2009, 11:44:33 pm »
My mum has been dead for 3 years.
And you've only just found the bagels?
We never really die.

Tiplodocus

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #24 on: 11 August, 2009, 12:45:02 am »
Jim found the bagels.
Be excellent to each other. And party on!

TordelBack

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #25 on: 11 August, 2009, 07:27:30 am »
Not the first place I'd have looked meself.

Minkyboy

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #26 on: 11 August, 2009, 08:50:01 am »
  ;D And there goes a mouthful of toast all over my laptop.

Cheers guys!

Fiddling while Rome burns

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Proudhuff

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #27 on: 11 August, 2009, 12:57:53 pm »
My small cut on the end of the right pointing digit is mildly annoying and when it hardens/heals it HAS to be bitten starting the whole thing off again
I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!

Roger Godpleton

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #28 on: 11 August, 2009, 04:49:20 pm »
I took a long walk back home from work today and needed a drink. I decided to try one of those new fangled JD & Coke cans but the lady behind the counter at the Tesco Express looked at me like I was something she'd stepped on. I wasn't aware that we were living under prohibition.

Also this morning I accidently stepped on a slug.
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worldshown

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #29 on: 11 August, 2009, 08:37:32 pm »

Also this morning I accidently stepped on a slug.

Keep stepping. The buggers are eating my courgettes.