Life Spugs because...

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I drink a glass of water and half an hour later a glassful of extremely stinky water just falls out the other end. And I've also found I can't trust my arse if it feels like it wants to fart.

You are going to have one scary time in bed tonight, everytime you feel a fart brewing you'll have to run to the throne.
Then again you could wear some incontinence pants

[vzzbux]

If the alarms are directly linked to an outside network it is not just a case of reset. You need the key codes from the alarm company. Turning off the electricity isn't enough either. Get hold of some ladders and smash shit out of the bell boxes and any internal bell that exist. Failing that stick skewers in your ears.






V

[Peter Wolf]

I cut the cable to someones burglar alarm that was next door to a friends house i was staying in years ago because i was sick of hearing it.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I cut the cable to someones burglar alarm that was next door to a friends house i was staying in years ago because i was sick of hearing it.

Is this while you were breaking in Peter

[Dandontdare]

I drink a glass of water and half an hour later a glassful of extremely stinky water just falls out the other end. And I've also found I can't trust my arse if it feels like it wants to fart.

You are going to have one scary time in bed tonight, everytime you feel a fart brewing you'll have to run to the throne.

Yes thank you, I discovered this the hard way about 5.30 this morning. And then made that very run every fifteen minutes for many hours!

[Peter Wolf]

I cut the cable to someones burglar alarm that was next door to a friends house i was staying in years ago because i was sick of hearing it.

Is this while you were breaking in Peter

Heaven forbid i would do such a thing !

[SmallBlueThing]

...I've just put my thumb through the screen of my laptop- resulting in a crack across it, and a big white space where computery loveliness used to be.

Any ideas how much this is going to cost to get fixed?

Steev

[vzzbux]

Seal the crack with cheese should work a treat.
(Too much on the cheese?)






V

[Peter Wolf]

....because i found out today that a certain person i know of has been spreading a false allegation that i am a Paedophile.They have done this through word of mouth and by sending emails and i know where and who at least some of the emails were sent to .

They will send more emails that will clear my name.

I know who this person is and i know where they live and if they are lucky they might just get off with a roughing up and they are going to be told in no uncertain terms where they stand and i can be 99 percent certain that they wont do it again.The roughing up probably wont be necessary because after i have had a word with this individual he will know that i am not fucking about.

GGrrrrr.

[SmallBlueThing]

You mention paedophilia allegations and suddlenly an otherwise "active thread" drops to page four! That's terrible, Peter- I'm not sure what to do in these situations, so trust you'll find a way out of it without resorting to assault or GBH. Mind you if the same were intimated about me, and I knew I wasn't, I'm not sure I would be in any way calm enough to handle it sensibly.

Steev

[SuperSurfer]

Hope this gets messy situation gets sorted it out Peter, without any aggro.

[TordelBack]

Ouch.  Very sorry to read that Peter, hope it gets sorted.  Beware of carrying out any serious punching (although I can't think how else I'd react myself), as that's a whole other mound of trouble.

[Peter Wolf]

Thanks for your kind words everyone.

I am 100 percent certain this problem will be resolved without resorting to anything physical as talking to him will be enough as he will get a warning and he will know where exactly where he stands afterwards and he wont do it again.Fear is something these types of people always understand.

These types often use paedophillia as a smear as i have heard of lots of examples of this but in this case i dont think anyone is taking him seriously.

This individual is a resident in a block of flats that i was supposed to be doing a maintenance contract on but he has tried to sabotage the fact that i was going to be doing the work by sending emails to the managing agents and to others in the building.I have it on very good word from others that live in the building that he is mentally unbalanced.

This can be resolved because i know the chairman of the residents committee and i know others in the building as well.The residents are extremely dissatisfied with the agents and the contractor who was supposed to replace me as the chosen contractor have also been sacked because their work is below substandard as they recently rewired and redecorated the public ways in the same building.Cowboys.

I am seeing the chairman of the committee sometime on friday or saturday and i am still the favorite for doing the work anyway because thats what i was told the other day.I might also be able to see to it that the managing agents are sacked as well as i am going to tell the chairman of the committee everything i know about them as i know quite a lot about them and their dodgy practices.

I have a feeling this is all going to work out just fine.

[House of Usher]

Perhaps best to obtain a printout of the offending email and take it to the police and make a complaint.

[The Legendary Shark]

Defamation.