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Author Topic: 2000AD Anthologies.....  (Read 1045 times)


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2000AD Anthologies.....
« on: 28 May, 2009, 11:44:29 am »
This is my short story/movie concept contiued from the "2001 Space Odyssey" started by Shut down man here.....


I've always thought to myself that the ultimate 2000AD film might be a anthology hosted by someone dressed up as up Tharg. Perhaps set in a movie theatre at a premiere for that movie. Everything is in black and white. Tharg arrives in a limo/rocket ship, walks down the red carpet to meet up with other 2000AD officiados, droids, characters who make their way to their own booth of seats, far above rest. Their own peanut gallery in the same tradition as "Sceince Fiction Mystery Theatre".
Their is low audilbe racous coming from the patrons seated below.
 In a booth next to them, are sitting a bunch of apes who look like they are from ther first act of 2001 A Space Odessy. They are fighting and squabbling with each other to get at the person selling refreshments. Down on the stage can be heard the sound of a clank of metal upon stone, from behind the curtains.. The curtains part, and standing there... is a large retangler slab. --At a guess its..-- Nearly three times the height of a average person, but narrow enough to span with their arms and made of some completly transperant material or as black as it really appeared in the low lighting of the theatre stage. The surface was really hard to make out. Though it's surface seemed darker, and more non reflective  that it rightfully should have....
One of the larger ape-men --known as Moon Watcher-- leaps downs from it's gallery booth landing on top of some cinema patrons. Who are momentarily dazed and stunned, but not seriously hurt. Bouncing across the other seats ahead of it toward the large rock on the stage, leaving a trail of confusion. Finally, Moon Watcher makes one last leap from the front row of seats to the stage ledge. Easy!. Moon Watcher sidles up to the strange rock, now taking in the alien imagery now revealed to the ape alone on it's surface.
As nothing else has happened, he put out his hand, and felt a cold hard surface.
The theatre is quiet again as everybody is memerised by the stone..
A barely audible sound ...yet it stopped them dead--everybody inside the building- so that they sat paralysed in their seatsl with their jaws hanging slackly. A simple maddening repetitious vibration, can be now heard it pulsed out from the crystal, and hypmotised all who came under it's spell. for the first time - and the last, for three million years - the sound of drumming was heard in Africa.
( In case you are all wondering. That was a passage straight from the book --with some words replaced by other words-- and I could go further and transscribe the next few passges straight out, but they are rather lengthy and you might all find that annoying. So the rest of thsi is mainly in my own words, but with highlights from the those passages from the book.)
The vibrations continue, now faster...
Moon-Watcher's hands are momentarily frozen to the surface....... as circles, spirally patterns spread out from where it touchd the surface of the Weird-Stone.
--As a nod to the tale of Slaine; the Shoggey Beast ---
The spiral patterns spread out, so much like someone had just thrown two pepples side by side into a still pond of water. Except these now spread across the stone's surface glowing, exploding and instantly forming other rotating spirally circles. Soon the whole slab of rock is glowing, seething with THRILL-POWER.
The vibrations continue, now alittle more faster...
lightening crakles across the weird stone and out towards one of the upper galleries as...
.....the poor refreshments seller being roughed up by the other ape-folk suddenly sprouts hairs all over their body, twisting in their own skin, ripping it's uniform, becoming a Shoggey Beast. Which immediatly slaughters the whole gallery of apes and promptly runs back through the exit on all fours...
The vibrations continue, but faster......
One by one, everybody is now possessed of the slab on the stage and then, light explodes from it in a blinding flash.
Everything is white for a few moments.
When everyones vision returns.
Colour is everywhere now and appaering where it should be also.. ( Don't forget, I said everything was in black and white at the beginning.).
Moon-Watcher, still touching the stone has evolved to a comparably civilised human and is also wearing clothing typified by the punks of Mega City One. Shoulder pads, nee pads, over a brightly coloured leather jacket and stripey pants. The hair as brightly coloured as well, hardened into a new age quiff by some new age gel. The face and the eyes inparticular are vaguely familer, reminesent of the ape standing there moment ago.
( No, it's not a modern version of Slaine either, but just your typical punk of Mega City One.)
Looking around warily, Evolved Moon-Watcher shruggs.
The stone slab behind it has now faded back to black, mildly transperant.
But now sporting the 2000AD logo, larger than life.
The slab appaers to be bigger than before, but this might just be a trick of the logo.
The audience is now gasping....
Sirens can be heard outside..
They are many and they are converging at this point, but only outside.
They all stop as they are now parked and their engines are cut.
One can still be heard, though.it must be going in through the theatre lobby.
The sound of one lone motorcycle can be heard, the engine a low roar, deafening
Now up the stairs leading to the gound level seating.
A deep gravelly voice that reaches the ears of everybody inside barks "STAND ASIDE CITZENS........ I AM!....... THE LAW!" as Judge Dredd aboard his Lawmaster reachs the top of those stairs and roars down the centre isle knocking over everybody in his way.
Small raptor dinosaurs meet a untimely demise under the wheels of the Lawmaster.
In a control room a lever is pulled as....
The rest of middle isle leading to the stage rises up to meet to meet the edge of the stage as the Lawmaster never needs to leave the ground to make it there.
Executing a perfect three quarter spin as Judge Dredd slams on the brakes bringing it to stop mere milllemetres from touching the stone slab.
The Evolved Moon-Watcher is looking evasive as his eyes dart from side to side. Backing away nervously. without really knowing why.
We now treated to view of what going on stage as a projection of a random street level of Mega City One is thrown up on blank screen behind the slab. Unnaturally the characters Evolved Moon-Watcher, Judge Dredd on bike,. the stone slab  do not obstruct view of the background . They are now part of the scene as it collesces around them further. This can all be seen from the 2000AD gallery, as at times during the film. The backs of some famous 2000AD heads come into focus -- while still in silowhette --as they convey some smart alec commentry, snide remarks, jokes, repeating dialoge or just repeating what they thought should have been said. In the tradition of "Science Fiction Mystery Theatre"
The 2000Ad logo expand to twice it's size then fades to black on the surface of the stone
This is all happening in middle of a highway intersection, while the traffic has stopped and since the A;ien artifact has arrived. Surpised citzens have been walking past it. Sometimes stopping to gawp before moving on.
Judge Dredd hops from his bike seeminly ignoring the stone slab, while being joined by Psi Anderson with some cadets on a field exercise. She looks at the slab, remarking at it " Another one for the Black Museum".
Judge Dredd slaps a hand on Evolved Moon Watcher while delivering the order "DROP TO YOUR KNEES, PUNK" as he does just that.
 ( For the purposes of this of opening movie scene,it can be assumed that Moon-Watcher was still as inside it's own era even while sitting in the upper gallery of a movie and that touching the big stone on the stage also transported him and it through time and space to present day Mega City One in the time-line of Judge Dredd while as he was evolved while this merely took a few moments in real time. Also undrerstand tha when I say "Dawn of Man". I am not being sexist, but referring to the beginning sequence of "2001, A Space Oddessy" the film. )
A passing Quatum Quack over hearing the conversation. Obviously attracted by what he actualley recognises the slab of stone to be.
 A Sentenial.
He butts in warning Judge Dredd " Mr Dredd, be careful with this assumed Perp --indicating Evolved Moon Watcher- and the Monolith. Any amount of tampering with either of them might cause a time paradox flux anti matter explosion that could swallow this entire world.
Judge Dredd "SO WHAT" pointing down at him.
A herd of Brotosaurus's are crossing the road, but behind the backs of the main characters, so they don't notice.
--- Paying Homage to that other Judge Dredd short story I wrote --
Psi Anderson reconsiders making contact with the propietors of the Black Museum  "No Joe, maybe he's right, We might be way out of our leage here."
Judge Dredd answers with "SHUT UP BITCH, NEVER QUESTION MY ACTIONS" as he looks down on and single handedly backhands both the Quack Scientest and Psi Anderson across the rubberised pavement. "I AM IN CHARGE, HERE"
Judge Dredd prompty pulls out a tow line from back of his Lawmaster and fastens it to the Standing-Stone, also tieing the now stunned Evolved Moon-Watcher to it as well.
Judge Dredd drives back off to the Hall of Justice with his new cargoe in tow.
The Cadets now alittle confused don't know wether to follow Judge Dredd or help Psi Anderson of the ground.
Then they all head off to the nearest milkbar ignoring Psi anderson as she starts to get up half dazed.
Looking up in the sky in exasperation.
The words " You Have Been Watching JUDGE DREDD VS THE DAWN OF MAN" in big letters writtenin the typical Judge Dredd script across the movie sceen.
( The camera pans upwards- past the towering blocks and ramp ways, ped ways, and tangleing road ways, now at the flying traffic as the camera keeps panning up until it reachs high orbit zooming in on a familer looking orbital staellite roughly shaped like a stick as appears to be tumbling backwards, back upwards, towards a imagined apex where it morphs into a real stck.falling back to earth.)
A much different earth, at much earlier time, but not as early as the Dawn of Man, on a different continent in the more northern parts.
Acid rain drizzles as lightening cracks over a ruined landscape of a barren desert of burning trees, puddles of oil, filled with row upon row of standing stones perfectly aligned. Glowing a dull sickly green with the power they have taken from the ground beneath them. The lightening often strikes a monolith resulting in a power surge where momentarily glow brightly. This effect often gets passed on to the next few monoliths, sometimes the entire row.
These Weird stones themselves, not a exact fascimile of the Alien Sentenial. These are more uncouthly formed, more iregular, while still looking identical to that artifact and each other. Thier more like stone, than crystal or metal, but still a similarity.
The stick is still falling.....
A familer figure is seen to be loping over the land, between the stones....
Half beastial, but still mostly upright..
Familer, because it's still wearing the torn remains of it's cinema uniform. That of a --Refreshment Seller--.
Although it's modern weave and logo are beyond recognition.
It doesn't look entirely out of place in these surroundings.
It's the very same Shoggey Beast that had left a bloodied trail from that booth in the upper gallery awhile earlier.
It's now on the theatre screen, lopping like the half-human beast it is, guided by some unseen force, a instinct --The Script-- to a predetermined destination.
(As the camera pulls back from this scene and the 2000AD gallery fall into veiw. We see a spikey-haired barbarian, with axe pole-arm in one hand and picking up a rat like dwarf with another --who sitting balanced on the gallery's front ledge--get up out of his seat. Turning towards Tharg. In a ancient language, in a thick pre-celtic sounding voice which instantly sub-titled as the English." The Earth Goddess beckons..." as he exits, breifly considering the quicker path "Moon-Watcher" took earlier.
As the lopping Shoggey Beast returns to focus, it leaps impossibly high and catchs the stick in it's mouth.
Returning to the ground, it spinns around, running back in the other direction.
When suddenly a gigantic foot --seemingly from the heavens in the tradition of Monty Python-- comes down squishing the hapless were-beast into a pile powdered bones and juices. There's audible sigh and passing of wind.
In the same Pre-Celtic tongue heard a moment before, but now much deepy, louder and warped! Bellowing "FOR THE EARTH MOTHER, I RETURN THIS BLOOD TO THE LAND" (With Sub-Titles)
The giant foot wipes itself clean on the ground and that piece of ground heals, becoming grassy, flowers bloom once more. Protected from the other elements.
Now both giant feet on the ground, pauseing before the arrayed Standing - Stones.
"Ah......PUB GAMES" (With Sub-Titles) and then a giant hand, connected to a giant arm, reaching down. Finger flicking the monoliths. Each one fell on the one next in line and so on like so many giant sized dominoes."
The Drunes of Er-Grah, a nearby village, stood outside their huts crying that all their handiwork had been undone.
Now that the stones were disconnected, lying inactive.
The howling winds dropped, the acid rains stopped, the lightening ceased.  
The pools of oil dried up and disappeared. The trees no longer burned.
When tears of the Drunes reached the ground, the land healed completely.
Cracks fill in, grass and flowers sprouted and trees bloomed.
The sun came out from behind whilte puffy clouds.
Small animals re-entered the scene, birds tweetered, bears held hands with wild cats and danced together.
Deers and antelopes played.
Water splashs from a babbeling brook nearby....
Suddenly Slaine wakes up as Ukko splashs cold water over him. There he was, lying face down in a
puddle of spilt ale.
A dazed and confused Slaine exclaims " Och, was I dreaming or what?" ( With Sub-Titles)
(As the camera pulls back out of focus,  we see he was in a non-descript tavern, in non descript villages still obviously oppressed by Drunes, Fomorians and evil Cyth gods.
The words "You have been watching : SLAINE : DRUNKEN DREAMING" In that glorious La Tene script and then in Sub Titiles as it's probably in Gaelic across the movie screen.
A Ice Dragon flys overhead like a much larger version of the Pterandon sqawking loudly as the familer Jurrassic Park tune is replayed.
( Moore homage to earlier "Judge Dredd spoof of Jurrassic Park in Mega City One"  short story I wrote earlier.)
Tharg falls into focus as he turns to the camera behind him and says in his best english "And now for some classic Future Shocks....."
But I'm saying thats all for now.