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Author Topic: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments  (Read 488660 times)

I, Cosh

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #8070 on: 02 May, 2018, 04:46:17 pm »
Anyway, it'll get sorted, and thanks all.
Sounds rough but I hope this bit works out.
We never really die.

paddykafka

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #8071 on: 02 May, 2018, 06:34:10 pm »
Hi Tordels,

With regard to whipping the staff into shape, the attached image below might serve you as a useful starting point.

Cheers! - Paddy Kafka

https://www.redbubble.com/people/divebargraphics/works/10994810-the-beatings-will-continue-until-morale-improves?p=t-shirt


sheridan

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #8072 on: 23 August, 2018, 06:40:27 pm »
Today I had the day off work so that I could attend a friend's funeral.  We have a bar at work (well, in one of the buildings our company is based in) and I'd been there a few times with people from work, usually around pay day, or when somebody was leaving, but Dave was one of the first people from work that I socialised with but didn't actually work with.  The service, and the wake following it, were held at places that Dave had been just two years ago after the death of his best friend Hirdy (another of those people from work who aren't work colleagues).  The two of them were great at music quizzes, and Hirdy was pretty mean at pool.

Professor Bear

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #8073 on: 31 August, 2018, 10:53:02 am »
Despite a six foot fence around the garden, a dog has been getting in to my 4yo husky bitch, climbing up the metalwork of the iron gate (also 6 foot) with his big gorilla-like arms.  This is one goofy-looking dog, a mix of what looks like Labrador and some sort of bulldog, I don't think he's actually capable of running in a straight line - shambling as he does in a sort of diagonal gait that constantly has him veering onto the road in front of traffic that barely stops in time - and I admire the effort he puts in to busting a nut, but the maths are terrible for whatever mutant offspring might result from this unholy union even if I could countenance the idea of letting her try to squeeze out a half dozen of those goofy-looking mouth-breathing flat heads: two-odd months to carry pups to term and another 8 weeks before they can leave their mum, by my reckoning that means offloading mongrels at Christmas - it would be quicker to just throw them into the river myself, so... no.
No, I'm afraid I'll have to risk the ire of the DUP* and take her to "visit her cousins in England", which is Irish doggy code for having a doggybortion.
One hundred and seventy facking quid, and I don't even know if the little slag is up the duff in the first place, so it's one hundred and seventy quid on a gamble.  Sure.  Why not?  I have that kind of money laying around.


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TordelBack

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #8074 on: 31 August, 2018, 11:01:10 am »
You'll make someone a great pimp one day, Bear.


(Although it might be cheaper in the long run to neuter poor Dickhead while you're at it...)

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments
« Reply #8075 on: 31 August, 2018, 11:49:22 am »

No, I'm afraid I'll have to risk the ire of the DUP* and take her to "visit her cousins in England", which is Irish doggy code for having a doggybortion.


Odd to think that the all-too-familar, south-of-the-border, human-equivalent euphemism 'hop on the boat' will never be used again.

“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”