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Author Topic: yoincks! followed closely by bah!  (Read 28998 times)

The Legendary Shark

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #195 on: 21 August, 2019, 11:29:46 am »

Glad you're okay, JBC.


JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #196 on: 21 August, 2019, 11:33:19 am »
Terrifying. As a borderline hypochondriac, though, I've convinced myself I had cancer many, many times. This one, though, I was certain about.  I'll take the sore hand any day.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

Proudhuff

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #197 on: 21 August, 2019, 11:48:46 am »
Hope you're on the mend  :wave:

insert wank joke here
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #198 on: 21 August, 2019, 12:32:29 pm »
Hope you're on the mend  :wave:

insert wank joke here

How DARE you make a mockery of my injury? Tell you what, though, my left hand just doesn't have what it takes.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

paddykafka

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #199 on: 21 August, 2019, 12:38:46 pm »
Terrifying. As a borderline hypochondriac, though, I've convinced myself I had cancer many, many times. This one, though, I was certain about.  I'll take the sore hand any day.

Glad to hear about the All-Clear, Jayzus.  :) I thought that the following Woody Allen gag from his stand-up days might appeal to you.

Eggs Benedict


I had once a pain in the chestal area. Now, I was sure it was heartburn, y'know, 'cause at that time I was married and my wife cooking with her nazi recipies, y'know, chicken Himmler.

I didn't wanna pay twenty five bucks to have it reaffirmed by some medic, that I had heartburn. But I was worried 'cause it was in the chestal area. Then it turns out my friend, Eggs Benedict, has a pain in his chestal area, in the same exact spot. I figured if I could get Eggs to go to the doctor, I could figure out what was wrong with me, at no charge, so I con Eggs.

He goes.

Turns out he's got heartburn.

Cost him twenty five dollars, and I feel great, 'cause I figured I beat the medic out of twenty five big ones, y'know. Called up Eggs two days later - he died.

I check into a hospital immediately, have a battery of test run and x-rays. Turns out I got heartburn. Cost me a hundred and ten dollars. Now I'm furious.

I run to Eggs' mother, and I say: "Did he suffer much?" And she said: "No, it was quick. Car hit him and that was it."

IAMTHESYSTEM

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #200 on: 21 August, 2019, 02:25:03 pm »
Blimey, stay well JBC.  :o
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von Boom

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #201 on: 21 August, 2019, 02:40:58 pm »
Happy birthday, lad.

YOINKS! The doctor tells me a lump in a certain place is not cancer.

BAH! I fall off my motorbike 3 hours later and end up spending the night in hospital.

(I'm just out.  Nothing broken apparently but I won't be using my right hand for a while.)
Thanks for the wishes. Glad the lump was nothing, but yikes! Hope you're feeling better now.

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #202 on: 21 August, 2019, 07:02:33 pm »
Thanks all! Great little fable there too, paddy... now I want some Eggs Benedict!
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”