The Black Dog Thread

[Proudhuff]

keep talking Hawk, its the best thing (along with medical help), have a close pal who's PTSD really affected her, but  with time, support and gradually reducing meds came out the other side, hang in there.

[Dandontdare]

What they said - keep on keeping on buddy, we're all rooting for you.

[JayzusB.Christ]

So something happened today I never expected nor hoped would happen.

I had an anxiety attack. Nothing new, not had one in a year but still, yet it was the worst i’d ever experienced, to the degree that mid work shift I was physically paralysed by the experience and was made physically unwell by the psychological trauma. Long story short, I ended up admitting myself to Manchester North General due to just how unwell the experience had made me, and after a consultation and 5 hours of waiting it turns out not only do I have depression, anxiety, and imposter syndrome but also PTSD, and will now be on a prescription to deal with such.

So yeah. Not a great festive season thus far.

Aw, man. That's rough.  I've been through the depression and anxiety attacks (maybe it's the meds, or maybe a much deeper understanding of how to deal with them, but I stopped getting the latter twenty years ago) .

As for Imposter Syndrome,  I remember reading once that everybody has it, particularly the more successful types. 

But that's probably unhelpful.  Please take care of yourself and I really hope you're all good when the festive season starts in earnest.

[TordelBack]

You'll get past this Hawkie, like the footsore old campaigner you are.  Mightily impressed that you had the balls and the presence of mind to head straight for medical help: that's the way to do it. Barely fought off a sudden assault of the wibbly wobblies myself on Monday, maybe it's partly the time of year.

Sending good thoughts your way even if you can't muster any of your own. This too shall pass.

[Dark Jimbo]

Mightily impressed that you had the balls and the presence of mind to head straight for medical help: that's the way to do it.

Aye, truly impressive! Not sure I'd have dared (well, I never did)!

[Hawkmumbler]

Thanks lads, particularly the Bolt house, made me smile and miss you lot some that did.

It all feels a bit silly now, after the consultation, and after I got home and just tried to relax a bit, it all suddenly started to make sense how this new diagnosis basically explains most of my mental ailments and poor emotional health.

Hopefully the medicine does it’s job and i’ll go another year without an episode like this, as I said, they’re far less frequent than they once where.

[Funt Solo]

I wanted to post something, thought that I had nothing worthwhile to say that could actually help so avoided it but still wanted to offer some support. It's a bit like giving someone a stale biscuit and some lukewarm tea and telling them "chin up".

[The Legendary Shark]

My best to you, Hawkie - not that you need it, I'm certain you'll prevail.

[Tjm86]

.... it all suddenly started to make sense how this new diagnosis basically explains most of my mental ailments and poor emotional health.

Worth bearing that in mind Hawkie.  Sometimes it can feel like its emotions and what have you that are in control or rather out of control.  Confusing as hell when it comes out of left field and doesn't seem to make sense.

Just don't make the mistake of thinking you are your diagnosis.  You have a diagnosis, there is a massive difference.  Make sure you keep badgering your GP about Primary Care as well.  Meds helps manage but a good Primary Care Team can make a world of difference.

The worst thing about blips is feeling guilty as hell after them, like you've somehow let everyone down.  Like you say, its been a while since something like this has happened.  They may well happen again.  Not your fault so don't beat yourself up over it (anyone else want to chime in here with the old "yeah, easier said than done line ...").  If you really need it I'm sure we can round up a couple of volunteers to do it for you!