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Author Topic: yoincks! followed closely by bah!  (Read 32952 times)

The Legendary Shark

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #195 on: 21 August, 2019, 11:29:46 am »

Glad you're okay, JBC.

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JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #196 on: 21 August, 2019, 11:33:19 am »
Terrifying. As a borderline hypochondriac, though, I've convinced myself I had cancer many, many times. This one, though, I was certain about.  I'll take the sore hand any day.
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Proudhuff

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #197 on: 21 August, 2019, 11:48:46 am »
Hope you're on the mend  :wave:

insert wank joke here
But everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #198 on: 21 August, 2019, 12:32:29 pm »
Hope you're on the mend  :wave:

insert wank joke here

How DARE you make a mockery of my injury? Tell you what, though, my left hand just doesn't have what it takes.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

paddykafka

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #199 on: 21 August, 2019, 12:38:46 pm »
Terrifying. As a borderline hypochondriac, though, I've convinced myself I had cancer many, many times. This one, though, I was certain about.  I'll take the sore hand any day.

Glad to hear about the All-Clear, Jayzus.  :) I thought that the following Woody Allen gag from his stand-up days might appeal to you.

Eggs Benedict


I had once a pain in the chestal area. Now, I was sure it was heartburn, y'know, 'cause at that time I was married and my wife cooking with her nazi recipies, y'know, chicken Himmler.

I didn't wanna pay twenty five bucks to have it reaffirmed by some medic, that I had heartburn. But I was worried 'cause it was in the chestal area. Then it turns out my friend, Eggs Benedict, has a pain in his chestal area, in the same exact spot. I figured if I could get Eggs to go to the doctor, I could figure out what was wrong with me, at no charge, so I con Eggs.

He goes.

Turns out he's got heartburn.

Cost him twenty five dollars, and I feel great, 'cause I figured I beat the medic out of twenty five big ones, y'know. Called up Eggs two days later - he died.

I check into a hospital immediately, have a battery of test run and x-rays. Turns out I got heartburn. Cost me a hundred and ten dollars. Now I'm furious.

I run to Eggs' mother, and I say: "Did he suffer much?" And she said: "No, it was quick. Car hit him and that was it."

IAMTHESYSTEM

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #200 on: 21 August, 2019, 02:25:03 pm »
Blimey, stay well JBC.  :o
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von Boom

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #201 on: 21 August, 2019, 02:40:58 pm »
Happy birthday, lad.

YOINKS! The doctor tells me a lump in a certain place is not cancer.

BAH! I fall off my motorbike 3 hours later and end up spending the night in hospital.

(I'm just out.  Nothing broken apparently but I won't be using my right hand for a while.)
Thanks for the wishes. Glad the lump was nothing, but yikes! Hope you're feeling better now.

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #202 on: 21 August, 2019, 07:02:33 pm »
Thanks all! Great little fable there too, paddy... now I want some Eggs Benedict!
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

Hawkmumbler

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #203 on: 29 August, 2019, 07:28:12 pm »
Yoinks! Job interview on Monday for something pretty big i'm excited for, could be working for the local radio company in Manchester in admin, with inroads into journalism and editorial.

Bah! Job center cocked up my Universal Credit so the three weeks i've waited out of five for a payment wont count, and have to start again. 2 months with zero income, no wonder people are depending on food banks! Bit of luck, I wont need more than one payment anyway.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #204 on: 29 August, 2019, 08:04:11 pm »

Been there, Hawkie - it's a horrible place.

At my lowest ebb, two people, who I'd never met before, brought me supplies from the local food bank. They'd heard about me through the grapevine and just turned up - right when I needed it the most. That was the day I lost my faith in the system and rediscovered my faith in individuals.

Hopefully, though, you get the job. Fingers crossed for ye, fella.

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JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #205 on: 30 August, 2019, 12:09:17 am »
Best of luck, Hawk.  Hope you get the job.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

Bolt-01

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #206 on: 30 August, 2019, 09:49:05 am »
All the best Hawkster! I'll make sure the clan are all aware too.

Hawkmumbler

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #207 on: 30 August, 2019, 03:18:35 pm »
Thanks lads, truth be told i'm bricking it but the thought of never having to tolerate another drunk customer or 4AM finish has me motivated to get this bread!

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #208 on: 30 August, 2019, 04:08:51 pm »
If it's any help at all, I've been on an 8-month trawl through Dr David Burns's podcasts on CBT and effective communication. He says that making your interview all about the interviewer rather than yourself is the key.  He tried it himself as a young man (researching in advance and becoming really, really interested about the interviewer and his job) and apparently his interview stretched to about three times as long as was necessary. He immediately got the job, over far more qualified candidates.
Haven't done an interview for years but I wish I'd known that.  Well, to be fair I did do one last year, but it was for a job I'd had 14 years experience of, and the interviewer is now a regular drinking buddy.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: yoincks! followed closely by bah!
« Reply #209 on: 30 August, 2019, 05:47:43 pm »
...and I've just realised I'm doing one if my least favourite things that other people do: Dishing out unsolicited advice.  Apologies.  I really do hope you get that job though; having Internet-known you for a few years I realise you're a sound lad who's had one or two knocks in life and I'm honestly rooting for you.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”