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Author Topic: Squaxx Telling Jokes  (Read 39579 times)

Dandontdare

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #330 on: 30 May, 2019, 12:08:23 pm »
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.

The physicist says, “I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out.”

The chemist says, “No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants.”

While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, “What are you doing?”

To which the statistician replies, “Trying to get an adequate sample size.”

paddykafka

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #331 on: 07 June, 2019, 05:51:53 pm »
What do you get when you cross a TV Cop show with wireless internet connection?

Ha Wi-Fi o.

Dandontdare

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #332 on: 09 June, 2019, 01:46:23 am »
Before my surgery, the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #333 on: 12 June, 2019, 03:38:43 pm »
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Rubber-toe.
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

The Enigmatic Dr X

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #334 on: 13 June, 2019, 07:32:06 pm »
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Rubber-toe.

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Phillipe Fillop
Lock up your spoons!

Funt Solo

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #335 on: 13 June, 2019, 10:12:29 pm »
What do you call a man with 20 rabbits up his bum?

Warren
fate amenable to change

The Legendary Shark

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #336 on: 14 June, 2019, 10:43:41 am »

What do you call a man masturbating  with 20 rabbits up his bum?
Warren Beatty.


JayzusB.Christ

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #337 on: 14 June, 2019, 02:25:44 pm »
What do you call a man with 20 rabbits eating salad and cocktail sausages up his bum? Warren Buffet.

Sorry, couldn't resist
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

Professor Bear

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #338 on: 14 June, 2019, 03:06:31 pm »
What do you call a man masturbating  with 20 rabbits up his bum?

If it's 1990, Richard Gere.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #339 on: 04 July, 2019, 06:08:04 pm »

I've just won my first cage fight! Dumb ass budgie never knew what hit it!


paddykafka

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #340 on: 14 July, 2019, 02:38:50 pm »
What do you get when you cross the Law with a sliced pan?

Judge Bread.

Tjm86

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #341 on: 15 July, 2019, 05:41:25 pm »
What do you get when you cross the Law with a sliced pan?

Judge Bread.

See my thing is, I don't think Dredd would ever knead the dough ...

paddykafka

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #342 on: 15 July, 2019, 08:45:23 pm »
And I thought that I was on a roll.

sheridan

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #343 on: 15 July, 2019, 09:36:34 pm »
And I thought that I was on a roll.

You'll come up with some more - just use your loaf!

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: Squaxx Telling Jokes
« Reply #344 on: 15 July, 2019, 10:22:07 pm »
Bredd and Butter.*


 

*joke stolen from an old Megazine competition entry
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”