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Author Topic: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2015 - The Beast Lives!  (Read 2745 times)

Buttonman

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Re: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2015 - The Beast Lives!
« Reply #15 on: 18 August, 2015, 08:09:36 pm »
Missed opportunity for a "the Butler did it" or as Blakey just died recently "I'll get you Butler" gag.


Regular readers will remember that 'the Butler did it' gag was retired many years ago. I concede that an opportunity for a Blakey tribute gag was lost.

If The Cosh writes in with an exotic Swiss address he'll be a shoo in - Tharg loves to look cosmopolitan!

Buttonman

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Re: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2015 - The Beast Lives!
« Reply #16 on: 16 February, 2017, 05:12:45 pm »


And we’re back, once again. The ticker is fixed, the Beast is fired up and the Quest for 100 letters trundles on. To be honest the Beast fell into hibernation when the read count started to go backwards, but after a realisation that the £100 offer still stands I thought we’d better get on with it.

To be fair a few mentalists at the 40th Birthday party mentioned they read it in between hallucinations and spider eating frenzies so who are we to deny them? I also found this Blog Post from our very own Alex Frith, so to cement my ‘Hero’ status the Beast must awaken from its slumber.

The rules of engagement remain the same, although the leader board has altered somewhat during our down time. Here it is as of Meg 381 :



To be honest it’s maybe not a vintage time to restart The Beast as we have been treated to only a few letters in 2017 and all but one of them were from first timers. All well and good you may say; new blood and all that. Well you’re wrong - people with a long history have more data that we can pick through and slag them off about.

We’ll start with Prog 2014 - The one with the sad robot doing ‘Hamlet’ on the cover. To start the year off Tharg gives us a two letter, half page tiddler.

To break 2017’s cherry we welcome Julienne Droidber to the fray. We don’t get much to work with here as no ‘Julienne’s or ‘Droidber’s have ever troubled our hallowed database. Want a stat though? OK : This is the first Beast entry to contain the word ‘Droid’ since Anthony Bromley’s ‘Khaos Droid’ drawing entertained us in Prog 799.

Julienne’s letter is a big thumbs up to ‘Counterfeit Girl’ and she stays true to her family name by mentioning both the “Milligan Droid’ and the “Dayglo Droid” - ‘Rufus’ shurley? She sounds quite taken with her Prog at the moment and we always like to see the ladies bring a touch of glamour to the Input page (not sexist).

The input continues and ends with the Letter of the Week - well the best of two - (Tough Turkey Julienne!) from Martin Sullivan of Ireland. Martin is also a first timer and has a ways to go to overhaul Sullivan Kingpin Steve who boasts four letters, the last of which appeared in Prog 1951 in 2015.

Martin clearly takes a while to gather his thoughts as he questions the legitimacy of Death calling Dredd by name in ‘Dark Justice’ which was yonks ago. Tharg sidesteps the question and rightly so - they’ve been fighting for 40 odd years surely they’d be on first name terms by now?

Prog 2015 now and we get a 50% boost to three letters albeit on the same half page as before.

We start, again, with a lady in the shape of Claire Etty of Witney. This is Claire’s first offering and she’s the first ‘Claire’ since Claire Parry who memorably featured in Prog 871 in 1994. We will stay off our usual joshing path as Claire sounds a bit stern despite starting out by saying that she got “pleasure from Tharg’s mighty organ”. Claire questions why all the ladies of 2000ad are lovely. That’s not true - Angelina Di Griz was ugly. Well until she got her face fixed and big knockers installed. Tharg accepts the criticism so no doubt the ‘fantasy’ element of the comic will be scaled back. And not before time!

Simon Gardener next and although another new man he trods down the familiar path of ‘thrill buffers’ and  absorbing lots of comics at once. At least he laments the lack of input pages (and no doubt entries to this thread) so we’ll give him a pass. He claims the 163rd Simon entry on the Beast with long time leader Simon Spurrier still far ahead of the rest of the field. Of Simons.

Paul Walker who clearly survived ‘Furious 7’ unlike much of its audience gets the Letter of the Week slot with a letter about a letter, which always makes The Beast purr. Sadly it’s a dull slice of life as he tries to explain how he reads his Prog - on the bog like everyone else we bet! Paul is a likely first time writer unless he lays claim to the Paul Walker letter in Prog 806 - that one was from Wakefield.

We close out this bumper edition with Megazine 381 which allows three letters, again over a half a page. That Future Shock exhibition better be good - it’s cost us about 10 letters!

We start with Tom O’Leary of London, yet another first timer. Only two ‘O’Leary’s have bothered the Beast - both many moons ago - Steven in Prog 542 and Kevin in Prog 576. Tom dredges up the ‘Legion of the Damned’ swearing debate - something that Stephen of Watson of Paisley covered months ago! I won’t go into detail about his letter as it’s a forum ban tightrope. Needless to say Tom wouldn’t mind buying his coffee off Gambit actor Gareth Hunt.

Next is Graham Colebeck of Bournemouth who also likes swearing. He’s got DVDs to prove it too! He likes the floppies and wants Dante from the start - that’s the next 20 odd years sorted then! Bournemouth boats 31 letters with several scribes on two - last to bag a brace was Ian Uttly who made his pair in Prog 1873 in 2014.

Hoo-ray nearly done, and finally someone with a letters pedigree. OK Mike Morgan of USA only has 15 but that’s more than everyone else mentioned in this edition - doubled! Mike had 2016 off and was last seen in meg 364. Mike has ideas for a Dredd sequel but unless he has $100m too, that’s as far as they’ll get. He is positive and likes the floppies so no Viagra expenditure required.

All in all a faltering start to 2017 but we’re ticking over ( a pacemaker will do that for you!) and hopeful for a bumper year ahead.

Buttonman

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Re: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2017 - The Beast Lives!
« Reply #17 on: 03 March, 2017, 11:52:26 pm »


< ‘The Curse of Oak Island’ voice-over man > Two editions of LETTERSENTERTAINYOU in a month? Possible ulterior motive for getting a photo somewhere else on the thread?

Shut it you - bugger all has been found on that show in 4 seasons and I doubt anyone is watching anyway.

So we’re back in this 41st anniversary edition of your favourite letters based analysis publication, unless you are still reading that populist crap ’2000ad Letter Reviews’.

Just three letters to burn through from Prog 2020, but they are all biggies and a reader’s photo has been printed - more on that if we have time.

We start off with the Letter of the week which comes from Pol Conway of Somerset. Pol had one previous Beast entry from way back in Prog 969 when he lived in County Tyrone. We have no data as to why he moved, so let’s guess that he likes cider more than Guinness.

Pol’s letter covers his experience at the 2000ad 40th birthday party and expresses sentiments that are expressed elsewhere on the letters page, albeit in a less well written manner. He talks about his increased heart rate which could be seen as a touch insensitive by some readers and then mentions the ‘aura of thrill-power’ - I think you’ll find that was Tom Proudfoot’s aftershave, actually. He grovels a bit to the “young” Matt Smith before calling our very own Zenarcade “a sliverback” who had a comic that he read and had signed - what a nutter. Overall this was a nice walk through a memorable event and if you think we are being nice because an Irishman knows what we look like, then you’re probably right.

Next up is Carl Reeder of Great Yarmouth. We went on holiday there a couple of years back - here’s a photo :



This is Carl’s first appearance and the first Carl to score sine Carl Jones of Swindon in Meg 341 in 2013. Carl’s letter is the sort that will give Tharg a frisson of delight as Carl is a new reader with 40 years of stuff to catch up on. It’s not all plain sailing however as read the odd Prog and then he wandered off in the 90’s and read some old toot. Good news to Tharg though as he can roll out his first wave of repackaged old stuff that we all know we’re going to buy. Come on Tharg the definitive ‘Tommy’s Troubles’ is a must - Grrrr I hated that Waller for stealing Tommy’s boots - every. single. week.

Oh no nearly out of space! Just time to mention Stephen Watson of Paisley scores his 94th published letter with a forgettable bit of self publicity and an amateur snap which was taken by Bad City Blue.



And it looked like this. Boom!


Buttonman

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Re: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2015 - The Beast Lives!
« Reply #18 on: 05 April, 2017, 01:04:14 pm »
A couple of mid Prog , 3 letter, Input pages have caught the Beast's attention with a few significant movers and indeed shakers on the all time glory chart.

The big news is that Dr Rich Evans scores his 23rd hit elevating him to a solo top ten berth. More excitingly it demotes Tom Proudfoot to 11th - a station he is hardly worthy of - I mean that's child like scrawl of Middenface McDredd still counts as one!

To uncomplicated matters the Beast Inc. AGM has decided that Letters of the Week should only place one writer ahead of the other when there is a tie and it is the total number of letters printed that determine a placing, with the Letters of the Week adding only cachet not extra placings. This decision was taken as we are all about printed letters; Letters of the Week are often warded arbitrarily and no signifier of true greatness. It also makes it easier for us to count if they aren't added as tie breakers.

Current scores as of Prog 2025 are :


Proudhuff

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Re: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2015 - The Beast Lives!
« Reply #19 on: 05 April, 2017, 01:50:37 pm »
Noooooooooooooooo! :-[
No doubt I'll be a grumpy killjoy Mr Negative...

Buttonman

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Re: LETTERSENTERTAINYOU 2015 - The Beast Lives!
« Reply #20 on: 05 April, 2017, 02:58:53 pm »
Noooooooooooooooo! :-[

You know what to do Tom - Get Matron to unlock and uncork the green crayon for one last rumble!