After a lot of work I've made my peace with this state of affairs, keep the self-berating to a minimum and even congratulate myself for just keeping on keeping on, but... it's all a bit shit innit?
It most certainly is, sometimes. It's fucking horrible to suffer from depression and there's no point pretending otherwise. All I can say is I really hope you get through this particular spell soon.
I take the tablets, as I've said before, and possibly even recommended them to you or other boarders. I'm beginning to wonder, though, if depression is usually temporary anyway and it just feels like they're working because of that. I still get horribly down sometimes even with the pills. It's CBT that's made the most impact for me, all from books, I might add. I ended up having a big argument with my last counsellor and he told me how 'difficult' the session had been for
him. Pretty sure it was harder for me, and I was 60 euro down into the bargain.
He had helped me in other ways, to be fair, but that particular car crash of a session was enough to convince me that we were done.