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Author Topic: The Dream Warriors  (Read 2636 times)

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #15 on: 24 March, 2016, 08:05:08 am »
Not exactly a dream but I awoke this morning to find a portal to Hell in the middle of my shack. It wasn't a portal to Hell, of course, it was the red standby light on my space heater surrounded by a swirling halo of sleep-mucus, half-focus and befuddlement. I don't actually believe in Heaven or Hell as such but, for a moment there, ho-ly shit...

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #16 on: 25 May, 2016, 07:44:43 am »
Discworld. At the Unseen University, several hip young wizards with embarrassingly short beards are working on a problem that isn't really a problem; how does one teach magic or pass on complex spellcasting techniques to wizards stuck in the far-flung wildernesses (wilderni?) of the Disc? The answer, believe genius young wizard Mowglibeard and his "crew," lies in the Longsight Box - a device capable of transmitting live images over great distances. Unfortunately for Mowglibeard, and for everyone else, the Longsight Box transmitter contains a crystal which, when activated, will have some rather unpleasant effects.

I looked at the idea as it rested in the palm of my hand, a writhing, glowing knot of pure creative energy like a cosmic zip-file waiting to be uncompressed. It contained virtually a whole novel, not just the brief explanation above.

"Well, what do you think?"

I looked up to see Terry Pratchett standing in the darkness, beaming at me.

"It's very good," I said.

He clapped his hands together. "I knew you'd think so," he said, "that's why I want you to write it for me."

I laughed. "Don't be ridiculous!" I said.

His smile flickered off like a failing searchlight and he rubbed his chin in thought. His beard came off and he regarded it lying limp in the palm of his hand for a moment before sticking it back on at a slightly skew-whiff angle. "Ridiculous? But, this is a great opportunity for you."

"Yeah, a great opportunity for me to make myself look like a grave-robbing dick. Can you imagine? The Idiot Wizards' Lantern, a New Discworld Novel by Terry Pratchett, Channeled by Mark Howard. I'd get lynched."

He rubbed his chin again. "But, you could do it. I want you to do it. I..." He paused as his beard came off again and cursed as he reattached it, this time at such a wild angle that it made him look like his face was broken. The sight was quite distressing. "Before I died," he said at length, "I had so many ideas for new Discworld books but I just... I just couldn't get them out and into words. I want them all out, to give to the world. There are so many and I have chosen you to..."

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. "Look," I said, choosing my words carefully, "I've read most of your Discworld novels at least once but I am in no way an expert. Even if I could write well enough, and I'm arrogant enough to believe that I actually can, I simply don't have the detailed knowledge of the Discworld. You need to find someone who does. Much as I appreciate the offer, this really isn't for me. I'm sorry."

"But, my fans..." His voice trailed off into chasms of sadness.

"Precisely," I said, "your fans, not mine. They'd hate me if I did this. They'd hate anyone who did this, can't you see that?"

He rubbed his chin again. His beard came off again.

"Haven't you ever heard the old showbiz saying, 'always leave them wanting more'?"

He nodded, glum but beginning to brighten, staring at the beard lying in the palm of his hand like a drugged badger. "That's just what Douglas keeps telling me," he said. "Perhaps you're right."

"I am right," I said, "trust me on this."

He sighed but it was not a sigh of defeat, more the sigh of a man having a conclusion he didn't really want to be true confirmed to be so. "All right," he said, "thank you." He tried to reaffix his beard for a third time but it had other ideas and flew away. Terry watched it go with a huge smile and then turned to me. "You know, I really, really love this place," he said, and then ran off to chase his beard giggling like Homer Simpson chasing a chocolate butterfly.

Then the alarm went off.

Mardroid

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #17 on: 25 May, 2016, 01:13:54 pm »
Wow.

Sad, sweet, poignant and kind of uplifting. Thanks for posting.

Most of my dreams are vague, and mismatched and I tend to forget them within few minutes of waking.

Dandontdare

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #18 on: 25 May, 2016, 02:16:49 pm »
Nice story Sharky - like the detachable beard details!

Since my angina diagnosis I've had to give up smoking weed - as well as the health (and financial!) benefits, I'm really enjoying dreaming again - when smoking I either don't dream or don't remember them, but now every night is a new adventure.

Nothing amazing to report so far - last night I dreamt my brother took me along to his D&D group and there turned out to be about 50 players in two teams all in elaborate warhammer-type costumes with SFX gadgets. I felt left out and kept moaning that in my day, all we needed was a rulebook, dice and pen & paper.

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #19 on: 25 May, 2016, 08:29:28 pm »
Like the beatnik layabout I am, I was meditating on a Thai beach back when I was travelling.  (I was actually listening to a 'subliminal track to attract money' - which I don't for one minute believe works, but I liked the music.)

I had a sort of vision / hallucination / daydream (take your pick) where i was invited into an undersea cavern by a friendly secret society called The Keen Ark.

They were such a decent, positive bunch I decided I would someday make them real. I registered the name four years ago and have been using it for payments and business banking since then; and am now making it public for my non-painting ventures (teaching art in this case,  with a view to creating a book and online course).

Sometimes the silly shit in your head makes sense. WHEN YOU FORCE IT TO. (with apologies to everyone who gets the reference )
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #20 on: 25 May, 2016, 10:39:40 pm »

...when smoking I either don't dream or don't remember them, but now every night is a new adventure.


I've given up the weed too (except for the very occasional time when somebody offers me one) and I absolutely agree that it's worth it to get the dreams back!

Fungus

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #21 on: 04 June, 2016, 05:17:05 pm »
I had a dream I was on a boat with Tom Cruise.

Your subconscious rationalising that cruise with Jean Boht?  After cheese.

I had the back at school/college dreams for many years I reckon, but not for a long time now... Shit, they felt real. I assumed those were pretty common.


The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #22 on: 04 June, 2016, 05:43:22 pm »
JBC - love the name Keen Ark. I may just have to steal that but disguise it as a story about a police informer called the Key Nark...


JayzusB.Christ

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #23 on: 04 June, 2016, 09:22:30 pm »
JBC - love the name Keen Ark. I may just have to steal that but disguise it as a story about a police informer called the Key Nark...

My mate tried to google Key Nark a couple of weeks ago in an elaborate attempt to take the piss out of me. Google failed him. Fair play to Google
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

The Legendary Shark

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JayzusB.Christ

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“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

JayzusB.Christ

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #26 on: 12 June, 2016, 12:27:40 pm »
I had a dream I was on a date with Jordan*, who turned out to be quite pleasant and intelligent in reality**.
Then it turned out that it wasn't me dating her at all, but Nicholas Lyndhurst's time-travelling character from Goodnight Sweetheart***, who then went back in time to meet his other girlfriend.

*I remember when the only model called Jordan I knew of was the 70s punk one. This was the modern day one, though.
**Well, we can always dream.
***A programme I think I watched twice about 20 years ago. Jesus.
« Last Edit: 12 June, 2016, 12:31:19 pm by JayzusB.Christ »
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest”

Keef Monkey

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #27 on: 16 June, 2016, 09:40:24 am »
Had one of those 'alarm clock invading my dream' experiences last night. Had a dream I was watching a Colin Farrell movie where he was some sort of detective (I've never seen True Detective) and was investigating a house, he was looking in a creepy looking cupboard under the stairs when a loud persistent beeping startled him. He spun round to look at the 'camera' and then the film started skipping in time with the beeping, so every time it beeped Colin Farrell's face was spinning round.

Think I watched that loop for a while before the waking part of my brain realized it was my alarm clock and it was time to grudgingly get up. I was really getting into that film too, although now have no idea what it was about.

The Legendary Shark

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #28 on: 16 June, 2016, 03:34:34 pm »
Looks like you've invented the Farellarm clock...

Dandontdare

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Re: The Dream Warriors
« Reply #29 on: 16 June, 2016, 07:37:10 pm »
Weird one last night: the usual inconsequential gubbins- meeting people I know and people I don't know, trying to find places etc ( and one odd bit where a chap moving house had created a sequence of channels and gutters so his goldfish could swim to his new house) but the strange aspect was that I was completely aware throughout that it was a dream: I couldn't make incredible things happen but I kept telling people "it's fine, do you realise you're just in my dream?" and nobody seemed surprised or impressed.
« Last Edit: 16 June, 2016, 07:38:51 pm by Dandontdare »