The Black Dog Thread

[Rara Avis]

Good morning Wolfie,

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling.

This time of year can be really hard on people especially if you don't have a strong support network anyway and doubly so on those who have experienced a loss.

What you are going through and have gone through sounds completely overwhelming.

I am at a loss at what to say other than . please keep going on ..

[sheridan]

Wolfie - on this thread everything should be self-centred (or answering other people's self-centred posts) but nothing is nonsense.

[The Legendary Shark]

Sheridan hits the nail on the head, Wolfie.

I can only imagine what you are going through and am painfully aware that no words of mine can solve anything for you, though I wish I possessed that power. All I can say is that I have passed through the darkness, survived it and been strengthened by it. I am far from the only one. It was people who saved me - ordinary, unremarkable, wonderful people; just like the people on this thread. If we can offer you nothing else, we can offer you hope. Huge, dauntless, powerful hope.

And a place to be self-centered.

[paddykafka]

and yet you go on. to paraphrase beckett.

i don't think i have written a more self-centred set of nonsense in my life.
and yet i have. to paraphrase beckett.

hello.

Just wanted to say welcome back, Wolfie! I can't add much more in the way of wisdom to what the rest of the good folk on this forum have already said, except to say that I'm glad to hear that you're still with us. This time of year is especially rotten when you're feeling down but I hope that, somehow, you'll find a way to get through the tough times you've experienced and keep on keeping on. All the best and kind regards - Paddy Kafka.

[JayzusB.Christ]

Wolfie - on this thread everything should be self-centred (or answering other people's self-centred posts) but nothing is nonsense.

What he said.  Nice to have you back, Wolfie.  I really hope you find a way to cope with this.

[Jade Falcon]

I tried going back to work a few days beforhand, and have felt worse..

Today was a day of extreme discomfort, nausea, headaches, coughing and others.  I fear I am not long for this job, I was told my absences were one block and if it had been much longer there would be discussions about my attendence.  Yesterday I phoned in sick and I was coughing uncontrollebly every couple of seconds.

I got the Saab, which seems a lot better  but my bank balance is lower than I would like, so my trip to Ukraine might be on hold, though that would depend on the war ending.  Also, I need a passport as well as all the planning.

[Rara Avis]

How is everyone after Xmas and NY?

[paddykafka]

How is everyone after Xmas and NY?

The day after St Stephen's Day, the new landlord had people lining up outside the house, to view the newly refurbished basement "Studio" flat and similarly refurbished "Studio" upstairs. (In actuality, they are small, self-contained, one-roomed bedsits with a small separate bathroom. The rental asking price for each - as advertised online - was, respectively, €1,600 and €1,675 per month.Both adverts have now been taken down as he has already found tenants willing to pay that much.)

"Absolutely fucking disgusting" does not even begin to describe this state of affairs. And given that this is the general situation with regard to housing these days, my chances of finding anywhere to live within the private rented sector in this country, are now precisely Zero.

A word of advice to any Squaxx thinking of moving to the Emerald Isle for work, study, the furtherance of a relationship - or any other reason - are quite simply this: DON'T! Because as far as finding accommodation in this country goes, unless you are earning very big groats indeed, then you are well and truly snecked!

[Jade Falcon]

How is everyone after Xmas and NY?

My savings are vastly depleted.  Granted some of which has been my reckless spending but I was looking today and have come to the conclusion that working a full time job that I hate is actually worse for me financially as well as mentally.

The problem with the job is that you are directed to make each call as short as possible while doing everything you can in a tiny period of time to fulfill the customer wishes and be polite, precise, and exacting.  Then get told you are overdoing it.

Meanwhile someone seems to spend the day typing peoples names and putting "Long Call?" after it.

I've been told I had one block of sickness and another might lead to a review of my commitment especially as I'm still on probationary period, but I still feel sick albeit not quite as bad.

Meanwhile the extra I was getting with my wages is chewed up by rent and council tax increases, with council tax going from something like £24 a month when I was on JSA to £147.  Rent has been similiarly affected.  I had thought to get a nice little nest egg when in fact the reverse has happened.

To get an idea how this company can be viewed and to show I'm not a 'lone whiner', here are some reviews

https://www.simplyhired.co.uk/company/Teleperformance

[JayzusB.Christ]

A word of advice to any Squaxx thinking of moving to the Emerald Isle for work, study, the furtherance of a relationship - or any other reason - are quite simply this: DON'T! Because as far as finding accommodation in this country goes, unless you are earning very big groats indeed, then you are well and truly snecked!

I would have to second that I'm afraid.  If I hadn't had good friends who helped me out (specifically by building a cabin on their land to rent to me after my boat went tits up) I would be, as the man says, snecked.  Hope you get sorted somehow, Paddy.

[paddykafka]

Thanks, Jayzus and much appreciated, as always.

To give an idea of how truly bad things are, two of the other tenants here - both of whom are working and in receipt of Housing Assistance Payment - have checked out, respectively, over 60 and 50 adverts for rented accommodation. Neither of them has received so much as a single, solitary reply back. Like, not even the chance of viewing a bloody place.

What chance does a bloke like me, on Invalidity Pension, possibly have in this scenario?

To say that I feel constantly anxious and depressed as regards to my future, is an understatement.

https://www.thejournal.ie/homelessness-ireland-4-5962540-Jan2023/

[Jade Falcon]

And more updates from the salt mines...my 16 days of non avoidable sickness where I would have been no use at all is costing me big time.  I am on SSP for that time, £95 a week.  It doesn't even cover my rent, never mind council tax, food, utilities etc, plus this has apparently pushed me to the upper acceptable absence limit where I would be regarded as to whether I'm fit for work...

I can't quit without somewhere else to go, but I feel this is a major effect on my mental health, an adverse one. 

[Rara Avis]

Like the Wu Tang said "The glorious days is gone and everybody's doin' bad"

I'm not in the best form myself the last while. My job has been really stressful and things recently ended with someone I had been dating. I know that it's for the best and they weren't the right person for me but it still stings. I have a pretty hectic year ahead of me with work and studies but I'm just feeling so anxious at the moment seasoned with bouts of melancholy. I hate feeling this way and I know that in the words of an ancient Persian philosopher this too will pass but life has just lost it's sparkle at the moment.

Thanks Jade and Paddy for the updates; I had hoped that the new year might bring better news.

I guess we're all in the same boat to varying degrees so deep breath and one day at a time and one thing at a time.

[Jade Falcon]

Well its not all bad news, I've been talking to my friend for some time, and she is keen for us to meet face to face, but it will have to be when the madness in Ukraine ends.  I have to remind myself that some people have it worse off.

[paddykafka]

I guess we're all in the same boat to varying degrees so deep breath and one day at a time and one thing at a time.

Sorry to hear that you're having a bad time of it, Rara. Hope that things improve for you in the near future.