Right. I have replayed DotD, and in an effort to not be upstaged by Jimbo, I present to you:
THE DEMONS OF THE DEEP
(A tale containing no demons, lest ye consider the wwatery denizens of the depths to be such)
Gather ye round, for a tale I've to tell
It's starts with the Sunfish smashed all to hell
Bloodaxe of the Troll had me captured, and well
It looked pretty bad for me, my boys
But the pirates, they fancied some sport
So they took some provisions and filled up a sack
Strapped that and my swordblade right onto my back
To the end of the plank, then they gave me a whack
And right down to the depths did I plunge, my boys
To Davy Jones locker, or worse
But what a surprise! I could breathe underwater!
A mermaid I met, hotter than a king's daughter
I resolved for revenge for old Bloodaxes' slaughter
Get ye black pearls to do that, said she, my boys
With ne'r a reason to why
Barracuda and skeletons quickly I slew
Collected black pearls, numbering two
I battled a grouper, and helped a ghost too
Gathered his bones I did, my boys
And he gave me a potion as thanks
Next came to a crypt, where I claimed a jade crown
(A living statue attacked me, but was quickly put down)
On my head it went, then into the sunken town
Swam I till I found a dolphin, my boys
And it chatted to me about fish
Yes, thanks to the crown, to the fish I could chat!
Though only the dolphin did bother with that
It's topics of conversation fell somewhat flat
Till we ganged up to battle a shark, my boys
And as a reward, it told me its name
Now you might think that reward was quite crap
But it took me off to a ship too, where I read a map
A clam and a spider they failed in their trap
I slew them both with ease, my boys
And left the sea red with their blood
Next was a sight that surprised even me
Who'd have thought gardens grew under the sea?
I hid from a lionfish up a tall tree
The lionfish couldn't swim up, my boys
I know, that bit didn't make sense
I met Greylock, a sage rather nice
He lived in those gardens, and gave me advice
He taught me a spell, with words quite precise
The spell was to raise up the dead, my boys
Skeletal legions, from the black pearls
"The Sea Dragon's the fellow, if more pearls you want"
So I gives my thanks and swims off, nonchalant
A merman I met, but we had a detente
Gambled with him did I for black pearls, my boys
The mermaids charm guaranteed me to win
So now black pearls I had numbering four
And I knew the Sea Dragon had a lot more
The mermen showed me the path to his door
I spoke to that dragon respectful, my boys
Yet he didn't give me one pearl
So needing to bolster my black pearl supply
To a sunken cathedral next visited I
Now this next bit is true, no word of a lie
For fencing lessons I took, my boys
From a man with the head of a fish
This fish headed fellow, Cyrano his name
Being the best swordsman was Cyrano's game
And he had the chops to back up his claim
For he easily beat me at swords, my boys
But I learned very much in defeat
The next part of my tale concerns mainly squid
Some little ones into my backpack had slid
Eaten up some of my food, they did
But I had greater squid problems to come, my boys
As I swam up to a coral reef
For by that reef I encountered a beast
Of incredible horror - the KRAKEN released!
Such a monster could make me quite quickly deceased
So I swam to the coral and hid, my boys
And the Kraken raged on outside
Eventually I had no choice but to fight
Dodging tentacles and it's krakeny bite
The battle was long, but I triumphed all right
I slew that beast in the end, my boys
And then I ate all the food I had left
On the kraken's remains I found three pearls black
But I knew it was now time for me to head back
The spell grew weak, and soon I would lack
The means to breathe underwater, my boys
For the magic, it lasted only one day
I swam to the surface and pondered my lot
Had I a crystal of ice? I did not
But the dolphins name I had not forgot
I called for him and he appeared, my boys
"I'll take you wherever you wish"
"To Captain Bloodaxes Island!" I cried
"I'm afraid that's a service I cannot provide
For no island exists on the sea far and wide
So he took me back home instead, my boys
Back to Blacksand on his back
So comes the end of my story so swish
Born into the harbor, riding a fish
I survived and I won, although I dearly do wish
That I'd had my revenge on Bloodaxe, my boys
And maybe one day, I shall.
SECRET ALTERNATE ENDING
What if instead, to the dolphin I'd said
Another destination from the map I'd read
To the pirates island my path would have led
Where the Troll sat an anchor, my boys
All ready for bloody revenge
I swam to the ship and climbed onto the deck
The pirates were there who I had sworn to wreck
"Bloodaxe, you shall get it in the neck"
So I cast my pearls down on the ground, my boys
And up sprung three skeletons there
The pirates they didn't know what to think
Some jumped over the side and into the drink
Others from the skeletal blades they did shrink
The skeletons cut the down, my boys
Till only Bloodaxe was left
Bloodaxe smashed the skeletons all into pieces
Battle was joined: my stamina, it decreases!
But with my great skill, the fight it soon ceases
Revenge for my crewmates and ship, my boys
Revenge so sweet at last
"You bastard" moaned Bloodaxe, and then he fell slain
Good sailors he would never murder again
I was pretty beat up and in lots of pain
But the ship, now it was mine, my boys
And the holds stuffed full of treasure too
Now I have mixed thoughts upon this book
The multiple endings were well worth a look
And far arduous quests have I undertook
But it was all a bit easy to finish, my boys
And the story felt aimless and weird
I suppose to get the best ending the goal
But I'd rather not play it again as a whole
And writing this poem has taken its toll
Though I STILL didn't battle the demon, my boys
That thing all so cool on the cover
So I'll file note that this FF book's merely 'alright'
And back into my bookcase it goes out of sight
That's twenty books done and discussed on this site!
Trial of Champions next, my boys
A book too bloody hard to complete!
THE DEMONS OF THE DEEP
(A tale containing no demons, lest ye consider the wwatery denizens of the depths to be such)
Gather ye round, for a tale I've to tell
It's starts with the Sunfish smashed all to hell
Bloodaxe of the Troll had me captured, and well
It looked pretty bad for me, my boys
But the pirates, they fancied some sport
So they took some provisions and filled up a sack
Strapped that and my swordblade right onto my back
To the end of the plank, then they gave me a whack
And right down to the depths did I plunge, my boys
To Davy Jones locker, or worse
But what a surprise! I could breathe underwater!
A mermaid I met, hotter than a king's daughter
I resolved for revenge for old Bloodaxes' slaughter
Get ye black pearls to do that, said she, my boys
With ne'r a reason to why
Barracuda and skeletons quickly I slew
Collected black pearls, numbering two
I battled a grouper, and helped a ghost too
Gathered his bones I did, my boys
And he gave me a potion as thanks
Next came to a crypt, where I claimed a jade crown
(A living statue attacked me, but was quickly put down)
On my head it went, then into the sunken town
Swam I till I found a dolphin, my boys
And it chatted to me about fish
Yes, thanks to the crown, to the fish I could chat!
Though only the dolphin did bother with that
It's topics of conversation fell somewhat flat
Till we ganged up to battle a shark, my boys
And as a reward, it told me its name
Now you might think that reward was quite crap
But it took me off to a ship too, where I read a map
A clam and a spider they failed in their trap
I slew them both with ease, my boys
And left the sea red with their blood
Next was a sight that surprised even me
Who'd have thought gardens grew under the sea?
I hid from a lionfish up a tall tree
The lionfish couldn't swim up, my boys
I know, that bit didn't make sense
I met Greylock, a sage rather nice
He lived in those gardens, and gave me advice
He taught me a spell, with words quite precise
The spell was to raise up the dead, my boys
Skeletal legions, from the black pearls
"The Sea Dragon's the fellow, if more pearls you want"
So I gives my thanks and swims off, nonchalant
A merman I met, but we had a detente
Gambled with him did I for black pearls, my boys
The mermaids charm guaranteed me to win
So now black pearls I had numbering four
And I knew the Sea Dragon had a lot more
The mermen showed me the path to his door
I spoke to that dragon respectful, my boys
Yet he didn't give me one pearl
So needing to bolster my black pearl supply
To a sunken cathedral next visited I
Now this next bit is true, no word of a lie
For fencing lessons I took, my boys
From a man with the head of a fish
This fish headed fellow, Cyrano his name
Being the best swordsman was Cyrano's game
And he had the chops to back up his claim
For he easily beat me at swords, my boys
But I learned very much in defeat
The next part of my tale concerns mainly squid
Some little ones into my backpack had slid
Eaten up some of my food, they did
But I had greater squid problems to come, my boys
As I swam up to a coral reef
For by that reef I encountered a beast
Of incredible horror - the KRAKEN released!
Such a monster could make me quite quickly deceased
So I swam to the coral and hid, my boys
And the Kraken raged on outside
Eventually I had no choice but to fight
Dodging tentacles and it's krakeny bite
The battle was long, but I triumphed all right
I slew that beast in the end, my boys
And then I ate all the food I had left
On the kraken's remains I found three pearls black
But I knew it was now time for me to head back
The spell grew weak, and soon I would lack
The means to breathe underwater, my boys
For the magic, it lasted only one day
I swam to the surface and pondered my lot
Had I a crystal of ice? I did not
But the dolphins name I had not forgot
I called for him and he appeared, my boys
"I'll take you wherever you wish"
"To Captain Bloodaxes Island!" I cried
"I'm afraid that's a service I cannot provide
For no island exists on the sea far and wide
So he took me back home instead, my boys
Back to Blacksand on his back
So comes the end of my story so swish
Born into the harbor, riding a fish
I survived and I won, although I dearly do wish
That I'd had my revenge on Bloodaxe, my boys
And maybe one day, I shall.
SECRET ALTERNATE ENDING
What if instead, to the dolphin I'd said
Another destination from the map I'd read
To the pirates island my path would have led
Where the Troll sat an anchor, my boys
All ready for bloody revenge
I swam to the ship and climbed onto the deck
The pirates were there who I had sworn to wreck
"Bloodaxe, you shall get it in the neck"
So I cast my pearls down on the ground, my boys
And up sprung three skeletons there
The pirates they didn't know what to think
Some jumped over the side and into the drink
Others from the skeletal blades they did shrink
The skeletons cut the down, my boys
Till only Bloodaxe was left
Bloodaxe smashed the skeletons all into pieces
Battle was joined: my stamina, it decreases!
But with my great skill, the fight it soon ceases
Revenge for my crewmates and ship, my boys
Revenge so sweet at last
"You bastard" moaned Bloodaxe, and then he fell slain
Good sailors he would never murder again
I was pretty beat up and in lots of pain
But the ship, now it was mine, my boys
And the holds stuffed full of treasure too
Now I have mixed thoughts upon this book
The multiple endings were well worth a look
And far arduous quests have I undertook
But it was all a bit easy to finish, my boys
And the story felt aimless and weird
I suppose to get the best ending the goal
But I'd rather not play it again as a whole
And writing this poem has taken its toll
Though I STILL didn't battle the demon, my boys
That thing all so cool on the cover
So I'll file note that this FF book's merely 'alright'
And back into my bookcase it goes out of sight
That's twenty books done and discussed on this site!
Trial of Champions next, my boys
A book too bloody hard to complete!