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Threadjacking!

Started by Proudhuff, 11 June, 2012, 02:32:01 PM

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Trout

Step right up, step right up, step right up,
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales
You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
Don't be caught with your drawers down,
Don't be caught with your drawers down
You can step right up, step right up
That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up
'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up,
C'mon and step right up

exilewood

Class.

Send by pre-paid mail a photo of yourself, two dead creeping charlies, and a self addressed stamped envelope to:
the Tropicana Motor Hotel, Hollywood, California, c/o Young Tom Waits

Bubba Zebill

Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

TordelBack

Thing of beauty, that song, brilliant for driving to - and I've never seen the lyrics written down before.  "It gives you an erection, it wins the election / Why put up with painful corns any longer?".  The man is a fucking genius.  Many thanks, Trouty.

Bubba Zebill

Quote from: Trout on 19 June, 2012, 10:27:19 PM
the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
One of my all time favourite songs...and I could on my hand the number of people I know who know it. Thanks for posting.
Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

Frank

Roger's Mom says you're all hypocrites.

SuperSurfer

The film poster is so obviously a coded nod to all the diehard Dredd fans. I'm not just talking about the hidden face. The golden shoulder pad is the real give away. Why would it be golden? Surely that would give away a Judge's position in a stake out or a shoot out. No two ways about it, they are saying to us: look guys we hear you, we acknowledge you, this film depends on you, you're still hurting since 95 (we get that). Fellas, we're with you all the way – thanks for keeping the flag burning through thick and thin – THIS ONE IS FOR YOU, GUYS 

...you bunch of tossers

Trout

Quote from: exilewood on 19 June, 2012, 10:33:45 PM
Class.

Send by pre-paid mail a photo of yourself, two dead creeping charlies, and a self addressed stamped envelope to:
the Tropicana Motor Hotel, Hollywood, California, c/o Young Tom Waits

Quote from: BOODA on 19 June, 2012, 10:45:12 PM
Quote from: Trout on 19 June, 2012, 10:27:19 PM
the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
One of my all time favourite songs...and I could on my hand the number of people I know who know it. Thanks for posting.

Quote from: BOODA on 19 June, 2012, 10:42:10 PM
Never needs ironing.

All credit to Albion, who mentioned it on Facebook. Love that song.

Bubba Zebill

I love the scent of freshly cut grass.
Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

Goaty

I hate moaners/critics over any small stuff like in Dredd movie threads!

Goaty

Now I got You-Know-Who abusive with me!

"Goaty - he is proof that deaf people can be just as annoying as people with no disabilities. Not paying you anymore attention, deaf git."

I never feelings so powerful, haha!

Tiplodocus

Nobody is denying that a FEZ is indeed a hat.

Our argument is that pictures of a Monkey wearing a Fez are quite commonplace and to qualify, it has to be a monkey in a different kind of hat.
Be excellent to each other. And party on!

Bubba Zebill

Quote from: Tiplodocus on 20 June, 2012, 12:13:24 PM
Nobody is denying that a FEZ is indeed a hat.

Our argument is that pictures of a Monkey wearing a Fez are quite commonplace and to qualify, it has to be a monkey in a different kind of hat.

Oh Lord... how many times have I met this response in my career as an organ-grinder!
Judge Dredd : The Dark (Gamebook)
http://tinmangames.com.au/blog/?p=3105

Large48

Is it me or does the Dredd Trailor makes it seem that the 'future' is happening in a couple of weeks?
[size=40]Train Hard - Run Fast - Hit to Kill[/size]

Richmond Clements

Quote from: Large48 on 20 June, 2012, 02:57:43 PM
Is it me or does the Dredd Trailor makes it seem that the 'future' is happening in a couple of weeks?
well... It is.