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Author Topic: Moustache growing help  (Read 6848 times)

Loaded sumo

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Moustache growing help
« on: 03 April, 2011, 09:52:16 PM »
Hey all, I'm comtemplating growing myself a moustache, I don't get a ton of lip hair, a thin stubble after a couple of days, but I was wondering if there are any 'Tache sporters on the board who could give me some tips to help it along?
Cheers,
Loaded Sumo
 :D

Emperor

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #1 on: 03 April, 2011, 10:00:26 PM »
Well this is a tricky one for the Hivemind.

I am unsure if there are any useful tips but I'm naturally hairy and have to shave my eyeballs, so it has never been a problem.

I suppose the only thing I can think of is to keep at it, grow it out as long as you can shave it back and try again.

Any online help is pretty awful:

www.ehow.com/how_2068170_grow-mustache.html
http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/how-to-grow-and-maintain-a-moustache-1066.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7751206.stm

My grandmother said you'd grow one if you kissed a Frenchman, but I've never had to try that.
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

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House of Usher

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #2 on: 03 April, 2011, 10:03:29 PM »
Is this a wind-up??

Firstly, shave it all off. Completely. Start from scratch. Then leave it to grow for a fortnight or three weeks while shaving around it. Then, when you have a moustache, shape it with a safety razor. After that, trim it with straight metzenbaum scissors once a month (because they're heavier than nail scissors).
« Last Edit: 03 April, 2011, 10:06:01 PM by House of Usher »
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Loaded sumo

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #3 on: 03 April, 2011, 10:04:07 PM »
Cheers, I also found most online help to be dire, except one about massaging it, which works quite well
:)
And, I have kissed many frenchmen, and it hasn't helped
;)

SmallBlueThing

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #4 on: 03 April, 2011, 10:22:43 PM »
When you have a week's growth, draw the shape of the mustache you want directly onto your face with a pen. Keep within the area of stubble you have, as imaginary hair will not sprout beyond the borders of your stubble. Then shave it into the shape you want using a safety razor with many blades and a lube strip. Apply aftershave balm.

After another week, repeat. A rudimentary mustache will appear. trim using clippers each week thereafter, as when it dangles into your mouth it's too long.

Choose a desired colour and use l'oreal nice n easy semi permanent colour (15 min application) to acheive this.

SBT
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TordelBack

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #5 on: 03 April, 2011, 10:26:02 PM »
There's always the Bikini Bottom method:


Spaceghost

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #6 on: 04 April, 2011, 08:45:38 AM »
Beware. Only 2 people in the world look good with a moustache. 1 is my dad, the other is Frank Zappa and he's dead. Moustaches are very tricky to carry off.

Go for a 'Hitler moustache' as an interesting talking point.

By the way, getting your hair to grow back thicker by shaving it off is an urban myth. It doesn't work at all.
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TordelBack

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #7 on: 04 April, 2011, 08:51:13 AM »
By the way, getting your hair to grow back thicker by shaving it off is an urban myth. It doesn't work at all.

Yes and no. It doesn't grow back any thicker, but shaving removes the tapered more flexible tip of the hair leaving both a thicker cross-section exposed and a marginally less flexible hair, which contribute to the impression of thicker coarser growth.  Trimming has the same effect, obviously.

One of the amusing things about facial hair is that once people get used to you with it, you can shave it off and grow it back seemingly overnight.  I habitually have a beard, but I usually shave it off once or twice a year (usually on holidays or over Christmas).  Despite my having a pretty light patchy beard, people assume I have a beard when there's only about three-days growth - to the point that even my mother hasn't noticed when I've shaved it off, despite allegedly loathing the thing.
« Last Edit: 04 April, 2011, 08:55:57 AM by TordelBack »

House of Usher

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #8 on: 04 April, 2011, 09:47:32 AM »
By the way, getting your hair to grow back thicker by shaving it off is an urban myth. It doesn't work at all.

Yes and no. It doesn't grow back any thicker, but shaving removes the tapered more flexible tip of the hair leaving [...] a thicker cross-section exposed

Thank you.

Another fun myth is that if you get your hair cut frequently it grows faster. Even some hairdressers believe that one. It's no use arguing with them that the root can't possibly know the ends have been cut, because they won't listen: they are the hairdresser, not you.
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Jim_Campbell

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #9 on: 04 April, 2011, 10:12:32 AM »
Beware. Only 2 people in the world look good with a moustache. 1 is my dad, the other is Frank Zappa and he's dead. Moustaches are very tricky to carry off.

QFT. The last time I shaved my beard off, I did my 'tache last, just out of curiosity. Oh, dear. Oh, deary, deary, fucking dear. I was unprepared for precisely what a twat would peer back at me from the bathroom mirror. I don't think I've ever shaved as quickly before or since!

Cheers

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radiator

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #10 on: 04 April, 2011, 10:20:36 AM »
Whatever you do, don't go for the twirly 'ironic hipster' tache - unless of course you want everyone to think you're a massive twat.


Pete Wells

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #11 on: 04 April, 2011, 11:55:23 AM »
Stacey Whittle's got a cracker, you could ask her...

IndigoPrime

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #12 on: 04 April, 2011, 11:58:26 AM »
QFT. The last time I shaved my beard off, I did my 'tache last, just out of curiosity. Oh, dear. Oh, deary, deary, fucking dear. I was unprepared for precisely what a twat would peer back at me from the bathroom mirror. I don't think I've ever shaved as quickly before or since!
Ha! My 'stubble' grows stupidly quickly (if I shave before lunch, I'll have very visible stubble by the evening), and so a week of non-shaving is raggedy man. I quite often shave off bits, just to see what I'd look like with goatee or ’tache. Showed Mrs G the latter one time (it wasn't good), and was frogmarched back to bathroom and shaver.

Emperor

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #13 on: 04 April, 2011, 04:26:59 PM »
Beware. Only 2 people in the world look good with a moustache. 1 is my dad, the other is Frank Zappa and he's dead.

Magnum PI would beg to differ.

Dan Severn and Don Frye might also like to have words with you on this point. Not that they are necessarily good tashes (although they both sport a Selleck) but you wouldn't want to tell them to their face.
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

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Buttonman

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Re: Moustache growing help
« Reply #14 on: 04 April, 2011, 04:41:31 PM »
Check out this handsome fellow...



I found not shaving the area beneath my lip produced a serviceable 'tash in about a fortnight.