Attempts at the sample scripts

[uncle fester]

Great stuff, Jase. I agree with System, there's definitely film noir in there - which is good!

If I was to be really picky about it, I think the idea was that the first page took place twenty (?) years prior to the last, so Dredd would've been holding the earlier version of the Lawgiver. But that's being picky for the sake of it, and I doubt it makes too much of a difference on a sample submission.

Best of luck and let us know what Tharg says!

[Jase]

Will do, and thanks for the comments everyone.

[James]

Well done Jase for submitting your piece, I'd be very interested to hear when you get a reply, and any feedback you get. How long did it take you?

I've just finished page 3, which has seemed to drag on most of this week. Once again I welcome your feedback.

[pauljholden]

Hi James, lovely inking (though I think you could do with adding some texture in there...)

Most of what's wrong, I think, can be corrected easily in photoshop:

panel 1: head and hand too big.

Panel 3: The perspective on that hand isn't working; it's giving the impression of a really weird big hand. I'd be inclined to rethink it - and maybe just redraw the hand and arm without bothering with the forced perspective (from the distance the figure is at, you wouldn't get a great deal of foreshortening - the further away you are from something the less obvious foreshortening is).

Panel 5: I'd shrink the judges head/helmet a little.

Page 6: I'd shrink both judges heads - the one facing us could do with a decent shrink down.

-pj
(BTW: This happens a lot in my work; I'm constantly shrinking/enlarging heads and other body parts to get them to look right...)

[James]

Cheers for the comments PJ.

I already shrunk the panel 5 head down loads! I can see what you mean about the hand in panel 3, couldn't get it looking right. Thee's a lot in this page I'm not as happy about, just seemed to go on and on, a lot of the detail in the Big Meg shot is to blame for that I suppose.

[James]

Update time!

I've tweaked some of the faults in page 3 and finished page 4 in record time (for me!).

I won't repost page 3, here's 4:



I'm really happy with this page, the Judge in the rain shot is great, as is the sillohuetted Judge on his bike. The only bit i'm not 100% on is the chap in panel 3, he looks abit stiff.

My Big Meg image came out alright too, I was dreading that panel but it came quite easily.

[Emperor]

I'm really happy with this page, the Judge in the rain shot is great, as is the sillohuetted Judge on his bike.

So you should be - the "judge in the rain" is a classic and you've done a great job with it!!

[mygrimmbrother]

I admire your bold use of heavy blacks James. Takes balls, that. Very confident style and yeah, that judge in the rain panel is very satisfying indeed.

[TordelBack]

I admire your bold use of heavy blacks James. Takes balls, that. Very confident style and yeah, that judge in the rain panel is very satisfying indeed.

Agree 100%.  Getting a McCarthy vibe off that whole page, and that is High Praise Indeed.

[Darren Stephens]

Yup, lovely stuff James, but.......repost page 3!   Your inking is nice. But I agree with PJ. A little texture here and there would really liven it up. It looks a little sterile at the moment. I dont mean that as harshly as it sounds!  

[James]

Here's pages 5 and 6. Off to Tharg tomorrow, let's see what he says.

[flip-r mk2]

Good luck to you James and a belated good luck to you Jase, some really nice work there boys.

all the best

filip

[Jase]

Cheers Mate, and nice work on the last two pages James, love that shattered mirror shot on the last page. Been two weeks since I sent my submission to Tharg, no way of knowing whether its sticking out of his bin or hes swatting thrill suckers with it or its still in a giant pile of unopened submissions- I know people will have waited absolutely ages for any response in the past so for me I'm continuing with my sketch card sets and then thinking about what comic stuff I can attempt next- and good luck with the submission yourself James.

[Richmond Clements]

Been two weeks since I sent my submission to Tharg, no way of knowing whether its sticking out of his bin or hes swatting thrill suckers with it or its still in a giant pile of unopened submissions

Remember that The Mighty One and Mrs Tharg have just had a baby, so it might be a while yet...

[Kerrin]

Page 4 is a belter James. The Judge in the rain is an outstanding panel.