Attempts at the sample scripts

[HigashiDragon]

Thanks to both of you - its great to get feedback. i think I need to do some more submission work though.

puggdog - nice site thanks for the advice.

staticgirl - great pages over at deviantart ! Are you actively going to print and self publish?

[staticgirl]

Some of the pages were done before I knew what formatting files needed for publishing so I would probably have to do them again, which is annoying. I might do one day if I ever finish it....Thanks for the compliments though!

[Ruairi Coleman]

Hey everybody,

I've also been working on the sample script Cycle of Violence over the course of a few months now: with working full-time and taking a part-time course in Graphics I havent had much time to dedicate to this so at the moment all I have to show is pencils but I'll post them to get crit on things like lay-out, composition, anatomy etc before I ink (which I havent decided if I'll do traditionally or digitally yet...) but anyway have a gander and please, be honest! (Alternatively, you can view them in my DeviantART gallery: http://redcole84.deviantart.com/)

N.B.  I havent actually read 2000AD since I was a kid so a lot my reference is shoddy and thus MC1, I feel, is visually inconsistent as well as the judge's uniforms etc. so my apologies...

[Dandontdare]

Welcome to the forum. Those are some very nice pencils - good clear storytelling, natural poses and a sense of movement. I like the variety of viewpoints - Page 2 panel 4 (with the gun and arm in foreground) and the last panel on that page are particularly nicely composed.

Oh, and get reading your progs again Earthlet, there's no excuse!

[Ruairi Coleman]

Hey, thanks for the warm welcome and the compliments: I was worried that some panels are very bland but as I progressed (maybe because it took so long to put these pages together) I tried to take more risks with composition so hopefully that paid off.

And yes, I definitely am going to have to get back into the progs: I've missed MC1!!

[Darren Stephens]

Hi Ruairi, Welcome. I quite like these pages of yours. As you say yourself, you can see as they progress that you are getting more comfortable with the subject matter. I wouldn't like to say how suitable the style is for 2000AD. Who knows, apart from the green dude?  I would say some of the figures look a little strange, beyond being just stylized and there is a lack of depth to the images. But some good work besides these quibbles. 

[Cthulouis]

As part of my quest to do a comic a month for the rest of the year, I present August's attempt, the Future Shock "Holed Up" (Script here: http://2000ad.org/?zone=droid&page=scripts&choice=holedup)

[staticgirl]

Completely amazing - like the 30s art deco style and 60s underground comix all got mashed up together! Top!

[Cthulouis]

Cheers! Humility prompts me to point out that the mix up is pretty much mapped out in the script, so I can't really take much credit for that.

[locustsofdeath!]

1:2 - awesome panel! Some seriously cool creature/robot design throughout the strip. I like the heavy black backgrounds used through the first two pages - I think several later panels will minimal b.g. could use the same treatment. Otherwise, great work!

[Cthulouis]

I think several later panels will minimal b.g. could use the same treatment.

Yeah, I started rushing towards the end. I justified this to myself by remembering the original was printed in colour, so was leaving somewhere for some colour to go, but I know this is a feeble excuse. I was also being perhaps overly cautious when it came to guessing how much room the speech bubbles would take up. That Vligor is a pretty verbose guy.

Really I was just wanting to clear the decks before a certain script turned up in my inbox

[IAMTHESYSTEM]

Warhammer meets Metropolis meets Angry pencil from the old NME. Very original style.

[Ruairi Coleman]

Hi Ruairi, Welcome. I quite like these pages of yours. As you say yourself, you can see as they progress that you are getting more comfortable with the subject matter. I wouldn't like to say how suitable the style is for 2000AD. Who knows, apart from the green dude?  I would say some of the figures look a little strange, beyond being just stylized and there is a lack of depth to the images. But some good work besides these quibbles. 

Thanks for taking the time and for the welcome.  You're spot on the mark with the lack of depth - I can see exactly where I've gone wrong with quite a few panels now and I'd like to take some time to fix a number of them.  I've also spotted at least one strange-looking character and now he's buggin the hell outta me!
I'm hopin, when I fix these problems, Tharg will at least consider the work even if it isn't traditional 2000AD fare... but we'll see, right?

[staticgirl]

the more comics you do the less convincing it will take.   Good luck Ruairi!

[HigashiDragon]

Seeing some great stuff on this forum!!

Ruairi - nice pencils - love the difference in weights - its very graphic.

Cthulouis - cool rendition of holed up - I just finished that one myself so I'll pop it up here now before I send

I love the way there are so many styles and interpretations to see here

If anyone could crit for me I'd be greatful