Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[TordelBack]

"Those Disney films on BBC1 - what station are they on?"

If you had my monopoly cable provider that'd be a pretty sensible question - they regularly switch the channels different stations are transmitted on without notice making recording programmes a somewhat random affair.

[Mike Gloady]

Nice one, WS.  Remember, board hugs to your ma, ok?

[Dandontdare]

Overheard just minutes ago by a co-worker browsing a cosmetic catalogue: "Do you have ageing skin?" (I think we ALL do, dear!)

And in a game of twenty quetsions earlier:
"is he dead" - No
"is he alive?"

[Mikey]

"So, are frozen turkeys that much cheaper than real ones?"

M.

[wild-seven]

I was on a bus from Camden to Hackney and a young lady started playing some bear good r'n'b tunes from her tiny mobile phone speakers, a chum I was with started visably bristling. Soon he couldn't take it any more 'WOULD YOU MIND AWFULLY TURNING THAT DOWN?', her response 'yeah yeah Ok, but why so aggresive? I is a respectable girl innit'. Luckily she got off at the next stop

[TordelBack]

It was an e-mail rather than spoken word, but a QS just e-mailed this classic response to my  demand for payment of an overdue invoice to me instead of to his similarly-named colleague:

"Should we withhold payment in case these guys go bust?"

Well, if he did he'd certainly be in a position to congratulate himself on  his foresight...

I did enjoy composing my reply.

[Peter Wolf]

It was an e-mail rather than spoken word, but a QS just e-mailed this classic response to my  demand for payment of an overdue invoice to me instead of to his similarly-named colleague:

"Should we withhold payment in case these guys go bust?"

Well, if he did he'd certainly be in a position to congratulate himself on  his foresight...

I did enjoy composing my reply.

"Should you pay me immediately in case you were to be hospitalised ? "

[TordelBack]

"Should you pay me immediately in case you were to be hospitalised ? "

  Damn it Peter, I'm forwarding all my snarky e-mails to you for review from now on!

[House of Usher]

Of course it would only be right to ask for payment upfront in future if doing any more business with them, citing this email as evidence for your lack of faith.

[bluemeanie]

Girl in work on hearing The Doors - Light My Fire on the radio

"Oh... my ... GOD! I cant beleive they let some crappy rock band ruin that Will Young song"

Another girl on hearing I was going to New York a couple of years back

"Do they have McDonalds over there?"


Arrogant fuck in work on why he didnt know someone in an adjacent office we named
"She must be ugly - ugly people are invisible to me"
but only because I got to shoot back
"so how do you shave?"

[JayzusB.Christ]

Not said to me, but to my friend:
'We shouldn't have to queue like this. We're taxpayers.'
It was the dole queue.

[Peter Wolf]

"Should you pay me immediately in case you were to be hospitalised ? "

  Damn it Peter, I'm forwarding all my snarky e-mails to you for review from now on!

Anytime !

Bad payers are one of mny pet hates as there is NO excuse not to pay.I havent had that problem for a very long time but should it ever happen again then i wont think twice about convincing them that not paying is a very very bad idea.I am quite happy to intimidate them in whatever way as well.I had to walk someone to a cash machine once as they couldnt be trusted.

I say there is NO excuse not to pay but of course there could be a multitude of reasons why they could withhold payment but i am assuming in this particular case that there havent been any problems with your work and the client is just being stupid and dishonest.

[Mike Gloady]

Rich,

"How do you shave?" is brilliant.  Applause!

[SuperSurfer]

When I came back from the US someone asked me "do they have the Euro over there?"

I'm still reeling from that one.

[HdE]

Not exactly a real entry for this thread, but something I have to get off my chest:

There's a message board I use. There's a guy there who, pretty much every time he posts, shows what an utter idiot he is. Typical clever-dick student. And yet he insists that everything he says is right, and we're all stupid for saying anything different. So he's stupid AND unpleasant.

Why are these people on the planet? Why can't we all be nice? Why? Why?? WHY?!!??!