Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Don't get me wrong I recycle and I believe in that, we even have our own chickens and vegetable patch. I just don't need some twats living in mansions and flying round the world telling me I should cut down, when they don't!
That Al Gore film was found to have numerous lies in it but look out if you crossed the line and pointed that out. You would be classed as the equal of a Holocaust Denier.

Just seen your post Jim, thanks

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I think we've gone and done a massive thread drift and moved into the climate debate.
Anyone want to get us back on track!

[Dandontdare]

good idea, let's leave the climate, the mad cows, and the flu-ridden livestock well alone!  

A stupid thing someone actually said to me:

A young new colleague once asked me for help with the office fax machine, as she couldn't get it to work, so I asked her what she had been doing.
"well I put the letter face down on here" (repeating actions as we went along)
"yes, that's right, what next?"
"then I dial the number, not forgetting to put a nine at the start"
"very good, then what happens"
"well I press start and it goes in.... but look, it just comes straight back out of the bottom!"
She'd sent that fax about half a dozen times by then - God only knows where she thought it was going to go.

And I once persuaded a temp to call another branch and ask them to fax over a couple of dozen blank sheets of paper for the photocopier as we'd run out! Luckilly the person on the other end wasn't as dim and put her right!

[mogzilla]

ME!

gonna have to add the twelve year old dr who said in casualty after my brush with ice... "i dont think you've fractured it ...BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR!!!!

and they say the NHS is in trouble...

[SuperSurfer]

Few years back, at work I was showing someone some work on computer screen. She was impressed with the new Apple Macs we had, going on to say that even the mouse looks really smart. It was one of the first Apple versions with laser tracking so they can be used directly on the table top – no need for a mouse mat. Boss chief replied "yes, but the problem is you can't use them with a mouse mat."

[Peter Wolf]

Don't get me wrong I recycle and I believe in that, we even have our own chickens and vegetable patch. I just don't need some twats living in mansions and flying round the world telling me I should cut down, when they don't!
That Al Gore film was found to have numerous lies in it but look out if you crossed the line and pointed that out. You would be classed as the equal of a Holocaust Denier.

Just seen your post Jim, thanks

I have to add a comment to that.\


"Climate Denier" 

Surely thats a comment or term of description that is idiotic in the extreme ?

Is there really such a thing as someone who denies that there is a climate ?

How pathetic.

[Dandontdare]

On a tangent, Commando Forces has provided the inspiration that adds the twist my short story entry was lacking - cheers CF!

[COMMANDO FORCES]

If you win do I get half the prize

[Cthulouis]

Okay, I think this is close to being on topic. I haven't been reading any threads about Avatar as I don't want any spoilers, so this may or may not be accurate, but...

I was talking to some kids about Avatar at work today (aged about 10 ish, I guess), and they gave me the review "Its just a rip off of Halo". I couldn't help but think that wasn't the viewer responce the director was aiming for.

[wild-seven]

A friend of mine in the pub; 'I can't drink this, I think it's off - taste it'

me 'it's fine'

him *takes another gulp* 'I know, but IT'S TOO DARK, I can't drink it'

other friend 'but you've drunk it loads of times before'

and on and on and on...

Cthulouis: I know this is totally off topic but do you hustle the b3ta boards? Only someone with the same net-handle has come up with a hideously entertaining question of the week...

[Cthulouis]

Nope, never even heard of such a board. Good to know I can blame any embarrassing webbage on some other Cthulouis. What was the question?

[House of Usher]

Take me back to the days when the experts said the Millenium bug would crash the worlds computers

*Ahem* - that wasn't experts. That was jounalists.

[The Legendary Shark]

"It's been nearly six years since we last asked about your worst vomit, so: Tell us tales of what went in, what came out and where it all went after that."

Question posed by Chthonic at b3ta.com here:  http://b3ta.com/questions/vomit2/

[Cthulouis]

Er, yeah, that wasn't me

This has happenned before?

[Hegel]

I was a hairdressers in York (just off the Shambles) and I sat down, a little woozy from an all nighter, and ready for a long overdue trim.

The lady came over and cheerily enough started the usual patter as she fiddled and chopped.

She said, "Blimey, you've a lot of hair to cut off."

"Yes, its very voluminous" I replied.

"What? It glows in the dark?" She said.