Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[SuperSurfer]

Couple of days ago, I was trying to tell someone something. The response:

"Look, I don't want to know! No one ever tells me anything, I never know what's going on. I don't want to know!"

Exasperating to say the least. I raised my voice. I later received an apology.

[Hoagy]

Gosh, that used to be my Dad's response to everything! It's self fulfilling ignorance. Noone tells you anything because you always bat like you don't give a hoot about others opinions, you old buzzard!

[Mike Gloady]

Just mentioned this on another thread by accident. 

Me: "Can I have a plain black filter coffee please?"

Hard-up Lawyer: "Would you like milk in that?"

[House of Usher]

He dreamt of one day becoming a barrister, but ended up a barista. Sad but true*.  





* Although admittedly, mostly just true.

[Goatilocks]

My Mum died back in 1996, aged 52. At the time, I was working nights in a petrol station. A couple of months later I was training a 20-year old rugger-bugger (wanna-be rugby player). He knew about my mother's passing, and probed me about it.

I told him how after her brain haemorrhage she slipped into a coma and was dead two days later. I told him of my disbelief of seeing her slip away - anyone who has lost someone will understand this feeling of complete helplessness.

"I know exactly what you mean," he replied, seriously, "I was playing a rugby game one day and scored a fooking great try, only it was disallowed. I couldn't believe it was happening to me ..!"

He was supposed to be with me until 7am - I sent him home at 3.

[HdE]

...Which reminds me of my deep seated hatred of rugby players.

Which is a tenuous link to this:

I was out drinking one night with some friends, who had invied some rugby-loving twonk out with them. We all got talking about our pets. I mentioned my father's budgerigar, possibly the most intelligent, funny creature I've ever had the pleasure to know. It had just died.

I was telling the guys about the little fella's antics. Crazy little critter actually used to have little call-and-response conversations with people. Not actual words, mind, just sounds. You could even play that childish game with him where you try to interrupt each other just as you're about to say something!

'Pfft!' declared Captain Twonkster. 'THAT'S not personality! Take my dog - why, I was walking him down on the beach the other day, and he went in the sea, and then ran back ashore and jumped into a complete stranger's car!'

No sir. That's not personality. That's just a poorly trained, stupid mutt. And possibly I'd add, one that is desperate for a new owner, if his deeds are anything to judge him by.

[Goatilocks]

No sir. That's not personality. That's just a poorly trained, stupid mutt. And possibly I'd add, one that is desperate for a new owner, if his deeds are anything to judge him by.

[Mike Gloady]

I'm always in disbelief reading this thread.  

Goaty, that's a vile experience.  Can't add anything to that.  I'm sure I'd have decked him and I'm NOT a violent man.  At all.

HdE, you now have me imagining the dog pleading with the owner of the car to drive off at top speed while his idiotic owner slowly closes in on the car.  "Take me home, PLEASE?"

[House of Usher]

Bah! Rugby. What's that, apart from one great big, institutionalized Freudian ego-defence mechanism? It's repressed homosexuality.

[Mikey]

Who was left out of the team then, eh? 

M
(ex loose head)

[Peter Wolf]

Bah! Rugby. What's that, apart from one great big, institutionalized Freudian ego-defence mechanism? It's repressed homosexuality.

After the game they have the group showering to look forward to !

[TordelBack]

After the game they have the group showering to look forward to !

I'm working on the site of a new sports pavillion (basically just changing rooms), and having to attend the odd dull project meeting where everybody tells lies and the client nods and smiles and occasionally looks worried.  Before Christmas there was interminable talk about boiler capacities and electricity requirement for two sets of showers.   They were allowing 30 litres of hot water per person per shower, so trying to keep myself awake, I reckoned they'd need 900 litres of water per game (average of 15 people per team, two teams= 30 x 30 = 900).  But no - apparently 500 litres capacity is way more than adequate.   The QS informs us that (statistically) this is because only about half of players shower after each game, with that falling to as few as a third of away players if they're travelling from  outside the county. Smelly buggers indeed.

And here's the depressing bit:  If it's a girls' team, that (apparently) falls to 10% for away teams.  That's one or two women per team.

This (literally) pours cold water on much of my adolescence.  All the hellish games of rugby I was forced to play as a kid, and throughout the mildewy lukewarm showers afterwards, the only thing that kept me going was the idea that somewhere else in the sports building there was almost certainly an entire girls' team frolicking naked in (no doubt) perfumed steam in Police Academy fashion.  Come to think of it, this probably belongs in the Childhood Naivety thread.

I can't help wondering if the QS was just telling Porkies (geddit) to keep the spec down, because in my own current 'sport' of dinghy racing shower takeup is 100%, and the main motivation for doing well in any given race is to get to the showers before the water runs out...  

[Mike Gloady]

It's only BARELY repressed.  At least from my experience of uni rugby teams it was (had the misfortune to share accomodation with a rugby player in my first year - never met such a meatheaded moron in my life).

[JayzusB.Christ]

"Yeah, but now there's masses of unemployment, and those bastards are still there".   I thought they were all going to flee home with their pockets full of handouts once the money dried up, the lousy gits.

Yep, there's nobody stupider than an opinionated racist. There's another popular racist myth about immigrant mothers leaving their baby-buggies at bus-stops because the government will give them another one as soon as they get off.  A guy I know has seen 'loads of buggies' discarded.  Me bollix, he has.  Is it really worth leaving the kid buggy-less until the application process for a new one goes through EVERY TIME you get on the bus, rather than the much, much simpler option of folding it up and lifting it on?

[Mike Gloady]

There's no other kind of racist.  Sadly we can't ship them back where they came from because The Bigoted Republic of Moronia is a fictional nation.