Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[HdE]

Not to me, but a receptionist – oh, I mean 'office manager' – where a mate once worked thinks that the popular frothy coffee drink is called a "cuppa chino."

I have a lady friend who I meet every weekend for a cup of coffee and a chit-chat. My joke when I go to the bar has been to order a garlic bread and a 'two steaming mugs of Al Pacino'.

Most of the staff chuckle at this, but one new girl a couple of weeks back found it very confusing. She spent ages looking at the chalkboard menu, and would have asked one of her colleagues for help if I hadn't stopped her. 

[wild-seven]

A lady I know who goes by the name of Misty used to run a pub and had the job of training a new member of bar staff; the first customer of the day asked her for a St Clements which is orange juice and bitter lemon

*scene goes all misty (arf!) and wavey*

Newby Barmaid: What's a St Clements?

Misty: Orange juice and bitter lemon

Newby Barmaid: what lemon?

Misty: Bitter Lemon

Newby Barmaid: Oh right, how much?

Misty: How much what?

Newby Barmaid: How much is a bit?

Misty: *slow dawning realisation* No, I said BITTER lemon

[Peter Wolf]

"That which we consider to be true art is that which we consider not art at all"



I hope that the wording of the above quote is correct as i memorised it but i will double check it on Thursday just to be sure.

Anyway i spotted this nonsense written on a big sign outside a pub next to Brighton Station.Its not the first time i have read this sign before and read it lots of times and each time i read it i think WTF is it trying to say ? but today while having a break i was contemplating it for a bit longer .....

Its trying to say something profound but to me its just preudo intellectual/philosophical twaddle that just doesnt make any sense at all.

If i consider or think about or whatever that which i consider to be "true art"[never thought of art in terms of wether it is true or not but i have questioned the validity of conceptual art] which could be anything from 2000ad art to Turner to the Bloomsbury Group or whoever or anything at all that is a creative medium that involves self expression in what ever way then after further consideration and some other indeterminate thought and reasoning processes i consider it to be "not Art at all".

How does this happen ? How did i get from A to B ?

Why would i consider that art is not art ?

If art is no longer art then does something else become art instead ?

What does it become if i dont consider it to be art ?

Or since i am only considering something then i could consider that this quote is BS.

[worldshown]

Customer: "Why was I not informed that my application form was lost in the post??"

Dammit, Tweak. That gave me a flashback to when I worked at HBOS.

[Mike Gloady]

HE ADMITS IT.

STONE THE FAT CAT!

*kidding, natch*

[worldshown]

Lol. I was nowhere near that level of responsibility. My job there was rejecting credit card applications.

Although, proir to that, I was working for Lloyds TSB.

See the pattern yet?

[Peter Wolf]

More stupidity from today :

I went into a shop to buy a can of drink and just before paying i noticed some kind of oatmeal/muesli bar that has Maple syrup in it so i thought i would have a bit of that as i love maple syrup and the price label clearly said 35p on the shelf so i went to pay and they said it was 1.30 something so i questioned it as 70p + 35p doesnt add up to over 1.35 so they said the oatbar was 65p so i said no its not as the price label clearly says 35p and they said "its price marked !" so i said yes i can see its price marked and it says 35p and you can see it for yourself and they said "its because its price marked !" so i said oh FFS this is just going around in circles and just paid for the can of drink.

[Mike Gloady]

Twonks.

Repeating yourself if someone isn't understanding your job-specific jargon, is NOT HELPFUL, it's obtuse, rude and annoying.

[House of Usher]

it had black people, oriental people, asians, person in wheelchair etc. This was shown to another client who commented: "yes, but you haven't got any people with glasses."

But I thought there already was somebody Chinese.


What?

[The Doctor Alt 8]

Damn, can't find the clip I wanted on YouTube....

Was it the Not the Nine O'clock News sketch in which a bunch of one-legged shoplifters clean out the display racks in front of a shoe shop?

Yep... that was the one....

[Mike Gloady]

Roger should be showing up any second to call you racist, ush.

[HdE]

This is gold!

"That which we consider to be true art is that which we consider not art at all"

I see pretentious crap like this on Deviant Art all the time - generally in the signature lines of posts from jumped up kids who think it's acceptable to lob snotball sarcasm and scathing put-downs on artworks that people have doubtless toiled over for some considerable time.

The tragic-comic thing about this is, the rubbish they post is never even ONE TENTH as artfully worded as the claptrap they've quoted! It's usually some variant on 'YOOOO SUUUUCK! GO DIE!' or whatever.

Sort of exposes what a sham the whole business of hiding behind a flowery turn of phrase is.

[Peter Wolf]

This is gold!

"That which we consider to be true art is that which we consider not art at all"

I see pretentious crap like this on Deviant Art all the time - generally in the signature lines of posts from jumped up kids who think it's acceptable to lob snotball sarcasm and scathing put-downs on artworks that people have doubtless toiled over for some considerable time.

The tragic-comic thing about this is, the rubbish they post is never even ONE TENTH as artfully worded as the claptrap they've quoted! It's usually some variant on 'YOOOO SUUUUCK! GO DIE!' or whatever.

Sort of exposes what a sham the whole business of hiding behind a flowery turn of phrase is.

This is the correct quote :

"That which we consider to be true art is that which appears not to be art at all"

Not quite the same as what i misquoted but its just as stupid.

Seems like this time i consider something that is not art as being "True art".

This quote is attributable to "Il Castiglione" whoever that is but quite honestly i could just sit here and type that kind of shit myself.The pub is on a corner and this quote is on both sides of the big building.Why i just dont know........

I also wouldnt ever consider posting art on Deviantart whenever i start posting finished art online.Not my kind of place.

[HdE]

I also wouldnt ever consider posting art on Deviantart whenever i start posting finished art online.Not my kind of place.

I'm intrigued as to why that would be. There's honestly a huge diversity of different personalities and art forms there. It's brilliant for networking.

It's just that - as my earlier comment suggests - there's always a few snark-mongers there to sour things.

And trust me - if any of you guys want to read some TRULY stupid stuff, go take a look at some of the misinformed rubbish that the cool kids think passes for critique!

[Peter Wolf]

I also wouldnt ever consider posting art on Deviantart whenever i start posting finished art online.Not my kind of place.

I'm intrigued as to why that would be. There's honestly a huge diversity of different personalities and art forms there. It's brilliant for networking.

It's just that - as my earlier comment suggests - there's always a few snark-mongers there to sour things.

And trust me - if any of you guys want to read some TRULY stupid stuff, go take a look at some of the misinformed rubbish that the cool kids think passes for critique!

I just dont like the look of the place and feel of it at all.I find it too big and impersonal but who knows i might change my mind a bit in time.....

I had a look at the traditional art section and just now and there are a few pieces that have been posted that are in the same style and vein as my own work so that was encouraging as i didnt really feel that it was an appropriate venue to show off my work.

But trust me the snark mongers wont be a problem to me if i do join up.