Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[Jim_Campbell]

Not to me, but when I was a student in Bristol a friend, who had dyed his hair purple was called by a bunch of 1980s casuals passing him in the street a "perrple 'aired c***!"

A friend of mine had his hair dyed red -- given that he was almost white-blond to begin with, it was very, very red. One day, whilst waiting for a bus, a child of about five came bombing down the road on his tricycle, misjudged a turn and took a spill. My mate knelt down to see if the kid was OK, only for the child to respond "Fuck off, Wonderhair!" and pedal off again at full pelt.

Cheers!

Jim

[Mike Gloady]

WONDERHAIR.

It's not exactly Shakespeare is it?  But I like it. 

[Emperor]

As for the Emporer situation i would more than likely have ignored as well as ignore being shouted at in the street.I did respond to it once though years and years ago as i was feeling irritable.I wont go into that though other than to say that the culprit [one of a group of 6] who was shouting abuse ended up virtually in tears.

Yes I responded to it once when I was 11ish and it didn't work out so well. On our walk home from school some 14-15 year-old girl from the rougher local school would walk past us in the opposite direction and say something like "Hello sexy" so we decided to say something witty back like "Hello smelly" and about a week later she was with two older lads (with skinheads if memory serves), one grabbed my friend menacingly and the other headbutted me (even though I'm pretty sure it was my friend doing most of it because he was, and still is, a cheeky bar steward who was once caught by the police riding a giant bee home from the pub). I couldn't see straight and had to be helped home. So I've never really engaged with street harassment since (as I get a lot of it I'd have probably gotten into a lot more fights than I have - although I never lost one since that headbutting and I'd argue I didn't stand much of a chance as it came out of the blue ).

Why do you get a lot of it ?

Gently dodging the double entendre... yes. I'm pretty sure I mentioned it somewhere around here (earlier in this thread perhaps) but I was out and about during the day with female friends on a couple of occasions and they were rather taken aback by the sheer number of strangers shouting things at me in the street (I suspect it'd not happen as often if you are with a few other guys). After a while you can spot it coming too when someone gets that excited look in their eye and they start nudging their friends. For example, once by the crossing near the Adelphi in the middle of Liverpool a white van full of builders was passing by and the guy in the passenger seat bellowed "Don't they have barbers where you come from, boy?" and a few years later miles I saw another white van full of builders approaching as I waited to cross the road and I could see the driver and passenger getting excited, so when the passenger started winding his window down I knew something was coming. The he bellows "Don't they have barbers where you come from, boy?" and, as the drove off, he had a very smug look on his face because of the incredibly original. It might be a Liverpool thing (everyone thinks their a comedian?) as I can't think I get shouted at much elsewhere.

So you get shouted at because you have long hair ?

Thats what i ascertained from your post.

Not necessarily, that was just one example of the way people's comments are rarely as original. The story that starts all this was to do with the way I walk (although I'm sure if I hadn't been wearing a hooded top it might well have been. Equally there is a running joke in the family over my resemblance to Mark Calaway and for quite a while I used to have kids following me down the street chanting "Undertaker" and "Ministry of Darkness." I can never predict the angle of attack.

[Peter Wolf]

t. Equally there is a running joke in the family over my resemblance to Mark Calaway and for quite a while I used to have kids following me down the street chanting "Undertaker" and "Ministry of Darkness." I can never predict the angle of attack.

Well what can i say !



I didnt even know who Mark Calaway was until i just looked.

[HdE]

I'm often surprised and disappointed at the ease with which some folks make mocking comments against people for the sole purpose of having a laugh at their expense.

Reminds me of a time I was doing some work for somebody living on the opposite side of my road. I had to carry a few light tools back and forth from my flat to their house a few times. No hardship, because it's only a short distance and it was all easy stuff to carry.

Problem was, there's a local pub right in between the two properties. It was summertime, so the drinkers were all camped out front drinking and enjoying the sun. Two tradesmen were perched at one of the pub's outside tables, watching me scurry back and forth with the tools, and on my second trip they started to make rude, profanity-laden comments.

'Better get yourself a car, you stupid c***!' one of them said after my second trip past them. Kind of unnecessary, but easy to ignore. Except, he said the same thing TWICE after that when I was to-ing and fro-ing. Then, on my last trip past them, one of them said 'Aaaah! F*ckin' clueless twat! He's forgotten MORE tools! Wankaaaah!'

I was sort of pissed off that these in-bred knobwads couldn't work out the situation. After the final insult, I dropped my tools and leaned over the pub's railing to speak to them. The exchange went:

'Clueless twat, am I? Stupid c***, am I?'

Despite obviously being in their forties, they giggled like schoolboys.

'Yeah, we think so!' One of them said, clearly thinking the situation was hilarious.

'Maybe I'll have to have a word with your boss about that, then.' I said.

'And how are you going to do that, then?' the other guy asked me, still giggling.

'Because, ' I said, 'however much a stupid c*** you think I am, I'M NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO INSULT MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC WHILE I'M STILL WEARING MY COMPANY OVERALLS!'

Their company logo was stitched into their work clothes, complete with contact telehone number!  They both went white as a sheet!

Their boss was quite interested to hear what I had to say when I called their office the following day!

Nobody flucks with HdE! 

[The Doctor Alt 8]

Oh man... that is dumb

[Mike Gloady]

Nice work HdE!

[Peter Wolf]

Why do you need a car to move tools across the road ?

[wild-seven]

HdE - I bow down in awe!

[Mike Gloady]

Good use of knobwads too.  Should have mentioned that before.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

You should have just walked up to them and said "I'll be back," wandered off, got into your car and drove at high speed towards both of these twats and crushed them to death.
I reckon you could plead provocation, social issues, etc and get a small fine from the courts and then just get on with your life  

[HdE]

Commando forces - you have just WON THE INTERNET, as the cool kids say these days!

Interestingly enough, and I'm happy to share this with all you fine board users, you CAN be prosecuted for such behaviour under UK law. I believe you can even claim for compensation!

I assume this doesn't happen very often though, as understandably it's going to be a huge faff. A case has to be brought to bear, witnesses, all the associated hassle etc.

And Mike - thanks for complimenting my creative use of 'knobwads' - which is a sentence I never EVER imagined I would type into an online forum!   

All of you people are beautiful!

[Peter Wolf]

Their company logo was stitched into their work clothes, complete with contact telehone number!  They both went white as a sheet!

Add "How are my Stupidity/Courtesy levels today ? - Please report any problems to - " to the above.

[HdE]

I remember calling the company and wondering if I'd be greeted with one of those service list thingies. You know:

'If you're calling to arrange a visit from one of our employess, press 1.'

'If you're calling to confirm details of a work in progress, press 2.'

'If you're calling because one of our employees has called you a stupid c***, and you'd like for him to lose his job so that he can spend the next few months at home reflecting on his inadequacies as a human being,  press 3.'

[House of Usher]

Today, from the teenagers...

'Oi, Shakespeare!'


I'm walking home from town at sunset in black jeans and a white shirt with cufflinks, holding a mobile phone in one hand.

'Shakespeare.'