Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[Brigantian]

We were just talking about old school comedians / entertainers and we mentioned Norman Wisdom. My colleague suggested that a junior member of staff would not know who he was. The young chap said he indeed did not know of Norman Wisdom but he knew who Norman Bates was. Who is he we asked. "FatBoy Slim" he replied. "He's a DJ". Priceless.

[TordelBack]

You've come a long way, Mother.

Or


Better living through taxidermy.

[EddieHitler]

"All you will feel is a tiny scratch Mr Brown"

Yeah right! then the nurse impales a bloody sharp needle into my posterior.

Now have a bruise the size of a swimming pool....not a happy bunny.

GREAT BIG WHOPPERS PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY SAID TO YOU!

And relax......

[Mikey]

You've come a long way, Mother.

Or


Better living through taxidermy.

Tordelback is today's winner. Bravo, sir!

M.

[Tiplodocus]

One of the boys from WESTLIFE on The ONE Show asked "How long does it take to grow a vegetable?".

No, really.

[strontium_dog_90]

One of the boys from WESTLIFE on The ONE Show asked "How long does it take to grow a vegetable?".

No, really.

Probably to be expected from them, though, really.

[Emp]

One of the boys from WESTLIFE on The ONE Show asked "How long does it take to grow a vegetable?".

No, really.

The answer should have been, "Well what age are you?"

[Michaelvk]

One of the boys from WESTLIFE on The ONE Show asked "How long does it take to grow a vegetable?".

No, really.

The answer should have been, "Well what age are you?"

You know what the hardest part is when cooking a vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair into the pot..

[muti-scum]

Drokk You you Drokkin Funtwipe!!

[Brigantian]

One of the boys from WESTLIFE on The ONE Show asked "How long does it take to grow a vegetable?".

No, really.

The answer should have been, "Well what age are you?"

You know what the hardest part is when cooking a vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair into the pot..

Ouch!

[staticgirl]

This doesn't count as something said to me but another board has just had a chat about the same thing and these two made me spit crumbs on my keyboard:

Admin Type – You make your own bread? Have you got one of them bread making machines?
Me – No, I make it by hand
AT – You make it by hand? I thought you were supposed to make it with one of them bread making machines.
Me – No, I make it by hand.
AT – No, I'm sure I read somewhere that you had to make it with one of them bread making machines
Woman at Next Desk – No, you mix it by hand before you put it in the oven. How do you think they made bread before bread making machines were invented?
AT – Did they have bread in those days?

and

Once I had to clarify to a team member that they didn't have
to kill the sheep to get the wool.

HAHAHAHHAHA!

[zombemybabynow]

AT - sounds like my best mate, who's an unintentional comic genius

[staticgirl]

b3ta.com have been at it too. Guess there's a lot of people close to going postal in crap jobs out there:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/stupidcolleagues/

[worldshown]

Not to me, but to one of the managers in work yesterday whilst doing interviews.

"Can you tell us about your last job?"
"Yes."

silence

"Are you going to?"
"No."

[House of Usher]

I say, good for the interviewee. The manager was clearly asking the wrong questions. He should have said "please tell us about your last job" if he wanted to know anything about it. I'm presuming the candidate didn't want the job anyway. He probably only applied to demonstrate to the Job Centre that he'd been actively applying for jobs.