Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[Something Fishy]

 

i'll just shuffle back below then.

[The Doctor Alt 8]

"I've never cooked sprouts before. I don't even know how you cook them. I suppose you must have to just boil them for hours."

Then you throw them away.

This it the correct proceduer with sprouts

[staticgirl]

No you give them to me. All the sprouts.

[The Doctor Alt 8]

Such power cannot be left in the handss of one person

[SuperSurfer]

Someone was muttering something to me about how the Scots, who get free education in Scotland come down here and get stuff for free without working and yet they go on about independence. Or something like that. He totally lost me and I switched off.

He knows all this because his mate told him.

(This is the guy who asked me once if they use the Euro in the US. Classic comment.)

[SMOKESCREEN:ED:9]

i'll just shuffle back below then.

I did laugh at this.

[SmallBlueThing]

On being given a list of things to do, including a visual health and safety check, the following was said to me today: "I cant do this, does this house even HAVE a roof? I know it's got tiles, but isnt that the attic? Besides, i cant tick things off because im not good at writing."
I should point out that i did not interview or employ this person.

SBT

[mogzilla]

Such power cannot be left in the handss of one person

which is why i'm here...gimme sprouts!!!!

[The Doctor Alt 8]

You can't handle the sprouts!

[I, Cosh]

I was in Currys this afternoon and couldn't help but overhear a rather neddy-looking couple having a go at a couple of the staff. They were hopping mad that, having spent a considerable sum of money on a 3D telly, the programmes remained stubbornly 2D.

[Jim_Campbell]

I'd completely forgotten about this conversation until I recently bumped into someone who worked with me in the same office at the time of this exchange...

Them: So... you went to University, then?

Me: Yes. For three years.

Them: What did you study?

Me: English.

Them: What? Like spelling?

Yes. That's right. I spent three years learning spelling. Really, really difficult words.

(Of course, this predates the irony that is the current difficulty of finding a graduate capable of spelling simple words or grasping basic grammar.)

Jesus...

Jim

[SmallBlueThing]

My eldest son received a hospital appointent letter today, out of the blue, cancelling his previous appointment (which we hadn't made and of which we knew nothing) and replacing it with one at the same time on the same day in the same place, with the suspiciously named "DR. A. LOCUM".

SBT

[Robin Low]

My eldest son received a hospital appointent letter today, out of the blue, cancelling his previous appointment (which we hadn't made and of which we knew nothing) and replacing it with one at the same time on the same day in the same place, with the suspiciously named "DR. A. LOCUM".

I once thought our hospital had acquired a new consultant by the name of Combgast until I twigged it was the infrequently used abbreviation code for Combined Gastroenterology.

(Rather sadly, google yields nothing for combgast. It sounds like a surname that really ought to exist, especially when you pronounce it koom-ghast.)

Regards

Robin

[The Doctor Alt 8]

Yes, it's spelt Combgast... but is actually pronounced "Thoat wabbler-Mangrove"

(Sorry couldn't resist Python reference)

[zombemybabynow]

asked my mate neil what he had for dinner;

"was going to go out in a bit so just made toasted bread with cheese"

"so you had cheese on toast then?"