Stupid things people have actually said to you.

[HdE]

Vzzbux, if I EVER meet you in the flesh, I am gonna buy you a whole CRATE of beer!

I've actually typed up a very succinct, matter of-fact-letter which lays out quite clearly why I am so appalled at his attitude, and I'll be posting it tomorrow, direct to his door.

I don't approve of tit-for-tat reprisals against people who have done wrong, but BLOODY HELL do I understand what brings out the urge! There is simply NO NEED for people to act like 24 Karat plated dicks in the way they do.

I fear for society sometimes, when I see how easily and how gleefully certain arseholes act towards people they have in theri own minds tried, convicted and condemned.

Sod this shit. I'm gonna concentrate on my comics now! 

[TordelBack]

In Eason's bookshop, The Square, Tallaght this afternoon:

Customer:  "Excuse me, I'm looking for a book".
Assistant:  "Of course, what's it called?".
Customer: "'8 Mile' - it's Eminem's autobiography"
Assistant: "Don't see it here... who's it by?"

And the punchline: 

Customer:  "I don't know".

[Mardroid]

I'm not sure if this qualifies as stupid or annoying. I suspect both.

There's a massive cooker at the college that I work which is disconnected. As they want to use it for a party next week one of my colleagues called up a company that deals with such things to get it refitted. She assumed it was a gas cooker and so that was the company she called.

Turns out it isn't a gas cooker. It's electric. Now, that's not the stupid thing. It's an easy enough mistake to make if you're not technically minded. I thought it was a gas cooker myself, particularly when I saw the great big piping on the back and the style of the hubs. Just a mistake, that's all.

Anyway, the powers that be realised in due time and one of the other admin lasses called them up to cancel, then booked an electrician for today.

Today, the phone rings and, I happen to be manning* the desk. "You called for a gas cooker to be fitted today?" says the woman on the other end.
"We cancelled it." I replied.
"No you didn't or it would have appeared in our books."

More was said, but in the end, she was sarcastic and rude and put down the phone. Talk about irritating. That's the stupid bit. Just assuming that they're the one in the right because the 'books say so' and that we're messing them around. It couldn't be that the person who took our cancellation call, oh, didn't update their information? (That person was rude to the lass who called to cancel too.)

Pretty small potatoes but it bothered me a bit, particularly as I was the last person to speak with them.

*Should that be 'personning' if we want to be politically correct? 'Humanning?' There's three people in our administration team and I'm the only guy. Heh.

[Eric Plumrose]

Customer: "'8 Mile' - it's Eminem's autobiography"

Which reminds me. Why do such books often contain the subheading 'My autobiography'?

[HdE]

Here's one for all you self employed types out there - oh, and anyone generally lacking in common sense:

Today, I was approached by one of my customers in my day job, and told 'Hey, buddy - listen: One of our friends is in a bit of finacial trouble. So we're gonna ask him to do the job each every month instead. Not sure how it'll work out, but he needs the cash. Is that okay?'

to which my reply - because this is actually the THIRD time I've heard this since the start of December, and I'm having such woes with my day job that I'm already at the end of my tether - was:

'No. It's really NOT okay. Because *I* need the cash. Newsflash: the more halfwits show up taking work away from me like this, the harder it gets for me to stay in business. Each time I lose money like this, it threatens my livelihood. It's money I don't have for food. For my rent. For my internet connection, which I need to keep my other work going. And here's the thing - your friend? I doubt he's trained to do what I do. I doubt he's capable. And because you're friends, I doubt he'll do the job on a reliable basis. That's how these thinghs work out, trust me.'

Sometimes, Joe Public really needs to get a clue.

[Roger Godpleton]

Not really stupid because it's just automated interweb doodahs, but according to some internet link I can "Get local answers for dodger stadium flag burning near Milton Keynes."


That's Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.

[A.Cow]

Customer: "'8 Mile' - it's Eminem's autobiography"

Which reminds me. Why do such books often contain the subheading 'My autobiography'?

The double-irony being that the book was undoubtedly penned by a ghostwriter anyway.

[Roger Godpleton]

Customer: "'8 Mile' - it's Eminem's autobiography"

Which reminds me. Why do such books often contain the subheading 'My autobiography'?

The double-irony being that the book was undoubtedly penned by a ghostwriter anyway.

Because black people are all illiterate, right?

[SmallBlueThing]

Eminem's black? :/

SBT

[A.Cow]

My missus had this conversation earlier this evening with the girl on the pharmacy counter in Asda:

Wife: "Have you got any Calpol?"
Girl:   "Is it for you?"
Wife: "No, it's for my daughter. It's not made for adults."
Girl:   "What's your daughter's date of birth?"
Wife: "[xx]/[xx]/99"
Girl:   "Is that 1999?"
Wife: "Well it wouldn't be 2099, would it?"
Girl:   "Oh yeah. So she's in school at the moment?"
Wife: "Not at half-past six she isn't."
Girl:   "Right, I'll just check.  Oh ... no, we haven't got any Calpol at the moment."

[Buddy]

Similar pharmacy story....

Me: Can I have (insert medicine thing here, can't remember exactly what it was), it's for my son.
Woman: What age is your son.
Me: 9
Woman: Oh this is for 10 and over, I don't think I can let you have it.
Me: It's his birthday tomorrow, He'll be 10 then. (it really was, I wasn't just saying that to wind her up).
Woman: Mmm I'm still not sure I can let him have it.
Me: OK, give it to me now and I won't give him any until tomorrow, when he's 10.
Woman: OK.

[Cyberleader2000]

thats simpile it was what was said on twitter last night people repeating lines from this blasted advert http://www.takaratomy.co.jp/products/gigapudding/

[Minkyboy]

We were back at the rural in-laws for 5 days at Christmas.

1.
So we had been there for a couple of hours kids running all over the house, our two 4 year olds and our 2 year old, when the Father in law says, "Oh do you think I should move my air-rifle , it's leant up loaded on the landing." When we kicked off about it he said "It's just a pellet."

2.
Christmas day and the younglings had got down from the table ages before the rest of us. I went upstairs for a slash and found weird blue gravel and chicken feed all over the landing and leading into the toilet. It ended at a small red bucket full of the stuff. Sinking feeling in my gut I went down to ask the mother-in-law, yes it was rat poison and the kids had been 'playing' with it unsupervised for 30 mins. So a couple of hours of phoning and waiting on NHS Direct later and we were somewhat reassured. Few days later and all is well. But the mother-in-law kept saying, "I don't understand how they got hold of it."
Well you left sparkly blue rat poison in a child's, bright red, sand castle bucket in the middle of the conservatory, that's how.

Good to be home.

[Spikes]

  ^

[StrayCatBlues]

I work as a vet nurse... I actually get asked for repeat prescriptions of those ''little white ones'' around three or four times a week.