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Messages - Emp

#16
Games / Re: The Board Game Thread
27 February, 2015, 09:49:53 PM
As Radiator says a good rule of thumb is a game that takes no more than an hour to play....if it takes 30 mins to set it's likely a non starter (unless set up before hand). Cards Against Humanity while good suffers from one big flaw, people bore easily. While it might be good for the company to trot out more and more expansions, i usually find that people say "fuck i am not asking that again" or just changing their hand because they are tired of waiting for the right time to play cards.
#17
THE AXE MAN COMETH
The rain beats against the window pane as two men sit over coffee and pie, an unusual, awkward silence between them.
"So tell me again how are money and rep are down?"
"There's a new guy in town, with a stiff rep,"
"I don't care if he's got a stiff....We're the best bullet monkeys in town!"
"This guy is positively old school, no guns!"
"What? No guns? At all?"
"None,"
"He some pyjama wearing ninja?"
"Axe apparently,"
"Funt that. I say we introduce him to the modern world!"
"They say he's bullet proof,"
"Good job I'm stacking these new armour busting shells,"
"Ah, they say,,,,"
"Hold that negative thought, Totem just put up that Larry the Lamb has just done it again. Got bout an hour before he gets pinched by the law, lets see caveman beat us to this!"

Twenty minutes and four tyres later the couple (we're not a couple in that sense), pull up outside a warehouse.
"See, I told you we would get Larry first!"
"You seen the side door amigo?"
The door in question had been folded back like the tin foil on a tv dinner, warped and twisted out of shape.
"So he used a forklift to break in. The guy isn't subtle."
" Can we just let this one go?"
"Our rep is on the line, no we can't let it go!"
The two men, the two best gunsharks in the city crept to the ruined door and peered inside.
Inside a massive, mountain of a deformed man swung an axe, cutting men in two while shrugging of gunshots.
"Well funt me,"
"Now can we go?" his partner hissed.
However quietly he thought he spoke was not quiet enough. The giant turned to stare at them.
"I have killed twelve men to get here and did not think it too many, do you want to add to the head count?"
"Oh, funt no! We just took a wrong turn, seen nothing, know nothing!"
"Thought you said we could take him!"
"Shaddup and get the car! We're still the best bullet monkeys, that guy's just medieval!"
#18
Creative Common / Re: The short script
27 February, 2015, 08:45:21 PM
It can be a difficult thing to master. As mentioned before brevity and letting the art do the talking are the secrets. The mighty Sharky helped me out at the start (thank you sir), pointing out where i was going wrong and steering me in the right direction. Now, we will differ in our approach but the same rules are true....keep speech and captions to a minimum, the art drives the story. Write it out the way you want and then look at it and see how you can condense 3 frames into 1. Some things will be lost but as you try to edit the story other things and ideas will appear.
#19
Games / Re: The Board Game Thread
27 February, 2015, 08:30:37 PM
I have a rule for board and card games.....if it takes more than half an hour to set up fuck it. Unless rules are clear to understand and can be picked up quick the game is going to sit in a cupboard for years as no one will want to give it the time of day.

I have been gaming for 30+ years and it always comes back to how quickly people can get into a game. If it's a long set up people have lost interest before you even start, which is why i have to recommend German games, Der Ausrisser, Willi whacker( Andy Capp, but the name is funnier in German), Midnight Party and Heimlich &Co. Also Grass, Nuclear War, Cash $ Guns, Zombies, Zombie Town...easy to learn and fast flowing!
#20
Games / Re: The Board Game Thread
20 February, 2015, 09:54:49 PM
Finally got myself a copy of Heimlich & Co...go check it out!
#21
General / Re: necropolis query
20 February, 2015, 09:51:47 PM
A good spot?..i thought it was blatantly obvious1 Maybe i'm a bit to anal.
#22
I may know why there so few responses...
#23
Games / Re: The Board Game Thread
30 January, 2015, 08:59:28 PM
Kragmortha - by the people that brought you Aye Dark Overlord (and if you haven't played that shame on you). Kragmortha continues the idea of  Aye Dark Overlord  and puts in a board game instead of a card game.

The premise is the same in both games...bring down the wrath of the overlord on someone else! This time there is the added point of srealing books of power from the Dark Overlord.

Aye Dark Overlord is the better game but if you have friends who struggle to make up stories on the fly to excuse their incompetence Kragmortha levels the playing field by allowing all the stitch ups to be done by moving pieces on a board.

The withering looks handed out by the Overlord in  Aye Dark Overlord are still there although slightly changed. In  Aye Dark Overlord  once you had three withering looks you were done, in Kragmortha it is slightly different. A withering look in Kragmortha results in a penalty, from using your fingers like lobster claws to balancing a card on your head and everything in between. Failing in one of these tasks earns another withering look and another penalty. so a game that was long, drawn out and tactical can suddenly come to a sudden (and hilarious) end.
#24
General / Disturbing news
25 October, 2014, 11:50:08 PM
According to Total film the music used when people use SloMo in the film is actually a Justin Bieber track slowed down by a ridiculous amount! Dredd,Bieber!!
#25
If they pay to be bored i'll go!
#26
Off Topic / Re: They're officially on my list
25 October, 2014, 01:35:06 AM
whiners
#27
General / Re: Why and when did you stop reading 2000AD?
25 October, 2014, 01:32:27 AM
Never stopped...just no longer get it weekly. Read my progs yearly. They get saved up an and i read them in a matter of days. I can do this simply because it has been many many years since i have wanted to read every story in an issue. Sometimes the art puts me off or the story,if after a few issues it just isn't for me, and so i find myself reading Dredd and one or two others. Hard pressed to remember the last time i read every story in 2000ad...that might be cus i only read em yearly.
#28
Off Topic / Re: They're officially on my list
17 October, 2014, 10:41:00 PM
Check out assistants who after watching you put down tewnty items ask "would you like a bag"..."nah I'll fucking juggle to the car thanks"
#29
Off Topic / Re: They're officially on my list
16 October, 2014, 11:48:08 PM
Anyone using management talk of .."glass ceilings, envelope pushing, running things up flagpoles, teambuilding" or any other such ballix. My personal pet hate is this new thing of "the journey" that the company/department is on. I', not on a journey..i come in do my work and expect to be paid without being talked to like a fucking 5 yr old. You want me to try and do more work just bloody say it, if not fuck off and let me get back to the job i'm supposed to be doing!

And breathe...
#30
General / Re: Brain-Biter is Here!!!!!!
16 October, 2014, 11:37:02 PM
Strange double post....sorry 'bout that!