All of the above... I was really trying to like it, but as stated upthread, it doesn't even make dream logic status.
As a child I lived in fear of the Sea Devils, that's what living in Musselburgh will do for you! This series they were about as scary as the donkey from Shrek.
Having read about Si's Torch, Wood and peasants, that warning should be in every 'writing for TV' course in the country!