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Topics - The Enigmatic Dr X

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Help! / Best Man's speech
« on: 10 April, 2003, 10:30:17 PM »
My brother gets married on the 25th and I'm the best man. Any good one-liners? Any hints on the speech? How long should it be? I've never done this before, so any input would be helpful.

Off Topic / Changing of the clocks
« on: 01 April, 2003, 04:50:16 PM »
The changing of the clocks last weekend has really bollixed me. I am absolutely shattered every morning - more so than normal. I even had an argument with Mrs X this morning because I told her to "shhh" (I don't do mornings). Well, she haraunged me and I listened. Is this a sign of old age, or am I just working too hard (an average of 13 hours a day, for the last 14 days - including weekends. Poor me!) God help me, EVEN COFFEE DOESN'T WORK!

Off Topic / Bored, pissed and in a London hotel room
« on: 28 March, 2003, 06:06:25 AM »
'at's what I am. In London for a week working. S'pretty pants. Wanna go back to Scotland where people talk proper. Anyway, off for a beer fore I go to bed.

General / Thanks to Logan
« on: 17 March, 2003, 02:53:52 PM »
I recently bought a load of old 2000ads from Logan, and finally got round to picking them up from the post office. Just a wee thanks, cos they were in good nick and a fraction of what you could be asked to pay on eBay.

Off Topic / Games consoles
« on: 17 March, 2003, 02:52:29 PM »
There have been a few posts about games consoles recently. If anyone is interested, Argos are doing a Gamecube with a game and memory card for ?79, which is a bit of a bargain.

General / Who is socjo?
« on: 04 March, 2003, 03:09:48 PM »
There have been a few recent references to this chap, and I had a look at his posts in the banned member section. His activity pre-dates me pitching up here. Apart from the objectionable Death script, which I never read, what did he do to get banned? Or shouldn't I ask?

Website and Forum / I'm dead clever, me
« on: 26 February, 2003, 07:06:46 PM »
I just figured out that "Ximoc" is Comix spelled backwards.

While this is with hindsight blindingly obvious, it only just occured to me and I am feeling quite proud of myself.

Does anyone else have a board name that has a hidden meaning (apart from DiGriz, I know who he's named after). If you do, why not explain it to the back of the class?

Off Topic / It's not for me, it's for a friend.
« on: 26 February, 2003, 02:40:42 PM »
Today I took a copy of the soundtrack to 70s quasi-porn flick "Vampyros Lesbos" into work. I ordered it from Amazon for a colleague (hey-don't judge me, check out the reviews on Amazon - I think I've included a link). He DJs on a semi-professional basis and uses that kind of tune.

It did strike me, though, that I was probably the only person out of the hundreds on my train carrying the soundtrack to a 30 year old Italian softporn flick.

Which begs the question, what's the strangest thing anyone on the board has taken into work?

How about when you were drunk? I once found a kitchen sink on Buchanan Street (and seeing as how everyone on this board knows Glasgow, that should be familiar to you) on the 3am night bus from George Square.

Link: A link with bite?

General / Ring
« on: 14 February, 2003, 02:58:11 PM »
I spent ages trying to think of a good title for this thread and then gave up cos I need to start working (bugger). They would've been dead funny too, involving puns to do with Ring a Ring a Roses and Ring My Bell and stuff.

Anyway, I quite fancy the film "Ring". Has anyone seen it, or the Japanese original? Is it any good? Does it build up nicely fo the first hour before degenerating something incomprehsible? (I'm thinking of Event Horizon or this weeks Bec & Cawl). I suspect this might be the case, but am willing to put myself through it again.

Any thoughts?

Off Topic / Religious Oppression
« on: 13 February, 2003, 06:18:07 PM »
The census results have just been released. When asked to give details of their religion, 367,000 respondents said they were "Jedi Knights". That's 100,000 Jedis than there are Jews.

While this is clearly a piss-take, the government has lumped the Jedi respondents in with heathens, atheists and pagans as having no religion.

This seems a bit rich to me. If someone has taken the time to indicate what they consider to be their religion, surely they deserve to be recognised? Who is the government to dictate what is, and is not, a religion?

I'm not very bright on the technical front but I think the link is: http://www.kli.org/

General / Family ties
« on: 13 February, 2003, 02:24:19 PM »
I was re-reading some old Invasion stuff last night and it suddenly struck me - surely Big Dave is the son of Bill Savage? They live in the same town and share the same outlook on life. Who else d'ya think is related?

Could D.R. be the rebellious teenage offspring of TMO?

Off Topic / What would you say...?
« on: 06 February, 2003, 10:14:53 PM »
If you were going to bunk off your work tomorrow, maybe to head off for the weekend somewhere, what would your excuse be? If illness related, is it better to bugger off early the night before and claim to be ill?

Not that I would do such a thing. Oh no, not me. No way siree. Absolutely not. Never. Uh-uh.

Off Topic / The youth of today
« on: 29 January, 2003, 05:23:16 PM »
Can you believe that an 11 year old relative:-

Thinks Judge Dredd is a BBC1 programme?

Doesn't know that Strontium 90 causes hideous mutations (including X-Ray eyes, and odd animal hybrids)?

Doesn't know what a Dalek is (but thinks they look cool).

Isn't afraid of a nuclear holocaust.

Stares blankly at me if I suggest that 6 million dollars will rebuild him.

Thinks G-Force is some kind of shoe.

I don't know, what do they teach kids today?

General / Never mind aliens, what about...
« on: 21 January, 2003, 03:39:43 PM »
I don't know if this has been posted before, being new here and all that, but whatever happened to Dredd's child, the Starborn Thing? Last we saw of it, the ST was being held for observation. It's gotta be in its late teens now, developing strange growths and taking an unhealthy interest in other Things, human possession, feeding on people's minds and running away to the stars. I demand to know what it's doing!!

PS I also think Cap'n Skank should be brought back. Being digested by a whale shouldn't be much of a problem for a psychotic cyborg.

Help! / Friday Mug
« on: 16 January, 2003, 03:38:45 PM »
I have a heat sensitive Rogue Trooper mug from the 90s. It has Friday on it, and when liquid is poured in a blackened speech bubble clears to reveal "Dispensing Coffee Now, Friday". It was a prize for having a letter printed and, as far as I know, was never avaialble in any shops. Any idea wha this is worth?

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