Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

I feel your pain Shark, or at least a variation thereof.

When I was 20 I got caught up in an argument between gravity and a ladder. It left me with two things:

• The knowledge of what it feels like to kick your own left knee with your own left foot
• Three screws and a metal plate to hold my tibia and fibia together

Luckily, this happened to me in Northern Ireland, where some of the finest osteopaths in the world* live. However, my cybernetic implants gave me weather predicting abilities. When the atmosphere is damp and changeable, or as it's known locally, the weather, sharp pains in my left ankle let me know it's going to rain. I am well used to this.

Yet a weird variation happened this week. It was humid and changeable. This caused a different kind of pain to which I was not familiar and is hard to describe to someone without cool cybernetic implants.

*Because of all the kneecappings. No joke, my doctor was on retainer for a couple of NBA franchises who would pay him thousands just to look at x-rays and give a second opinion. The guy had pictures of himself and most of the 1992/6 Olympic dream teams.

[Angry Vince]

I'll preface this post by stating that I left my wife earlier this year after 21yrs together. It was my choice and I've actually found that being male, in your forties and with a good job makes you quite eligible - a far cry from when I was male, in my twenties and a poor student.

Dating has been going well for me and I've been quite happy with the split until a few weeks ago when my ex shocked me by asking if I wanted to reconcile.

Up until that point, I knew what I was going and my head was screwed on right. That question completely threw me and, frankly, messed me up a bit.

So I called up a counselor whose advice I taken in the past and booked in a session to talk things out. That was last night - a one hour session that ended up taking nearly two. It was good, I got a much clearer understanding of what was going on in my head (and potentially in my exes) and I left in high spirits.

So I decided to sprint through the rain to get to my car in the dark... and ran straight into a brick letterbox.

One smashed Fitbit and a couple of cracked ribs later, I'm not so sure about this counselling thing!

[The Legendary Shark]

This monodirectional time thing can be really hard to navigate, I find. It always seems to end up running into things and dragging us all with it. Sore ankles, smashed bones, and cracked ribs; but undaunted. "Man was not made for defeat," or so somebody once said, probably right before breaking his hand in a gin-fuelled bullfight over several women.

[paddykafka]

So my landlord for the last thirteen years - a thoroughly decent and humane man, who has shown me much personal kindness and support through some very difficult times (and whom I regard as a friend) - has confirmed that the house has been sold.

He has assured me that, as part of the sale contract, myself and the other sitting tenants will be allowed to remain in situ, and that there will be no change to our situation. I have absolutely no doubt as to his sincerity on this, and that he has done all that he can in the interest of our welfare.

But still, I have to admit to some concern as to our collective future.

When the bloke who is buying the house was checking out each flat - accompanied by a bank official as part of the evaluation process - I jokingly remarked, that I was thinking of swapping out my bed for a hammock,  so that I could fit more books into my flat.

The guy's deadpan response, said without a trace of humour, was: "I don't read books."

Which told me everything I needed to know about him. Guess I'll just have keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

I have pneumonia. Which was diagnosed when I was referred to hospital because a kidney stone was not going anywhere.

I feel terrible.

[The Legendary Shark]

Sorry to hear that, EDX, I hope you get well soon.

[Barrington Boots]

Get well soon dude! Pneumonia is rank.

[JohnW]

Pneumonia AND kidney stone? I tremble to wonder at what gods you have offended.
My sympathies, Doc.

[paddykafka]

Yikes, EDX! Take care and I hope you'll recover soon. All the best and cheers - Paddy

[Dandontdare]

Oof, a double whammy. Get well soon mate

[Tiplodocus]

Blimey! Get well soon.

[paddykafka]

Online banking!

I just cannot, for the life of me, get my head around the process. It used to be so much easier back in the good old days. I've just spent the last half-hour trying to buy The Sarge: Volume 1 online and have given up.

Maybe I'm just stupid, but I find it all just too complicated. If it is not the wrong Rebellion password that I'm putting in, then it is the one for the bank or something else that I'm doing wrong. Because of my particular cognitive difficulty when it comes to figuring out technical / internet stuff, what I need is someone who knows all about this malarkey, to guide me, in person and beside me. But as I do not know anyone who can steer me through the process, I am sunk!

Reckon that I'll go to my usual comic store instead, pay them in cash and see if they can order it in for me instead. I feel like such a fucking dunce right now!

[JohnW]

I never have any problems with online banking until I do, and then I'm stonewalled.
Various extra layers of security have made things unreasonable. I used to be able to sort out my finances on my PC, but now I need my PC and my phone, which doesn't pick up a signal where I work. Oddly enough, I have better access through my phone on its own, which strikes me as odd. I mean, any tech-savvy pickpocket can get at my phone, but to get at my PC you'd have to physically break into my house and already have my computer password as well my banking details.
The bank helpfully explained that all this is for my own good.
They wouldn't be just saying that, would they?

I found The Sarge in my local bookshop, and liked it lots.

[Dandontdare]

My current 2000ad & Meg subscription has lapsed because I changed my debit card -  but I cannot get in to my account to change this and renew. My old password doesn't work, and I'm simply not receiving the 'reset password' emails - but weirdly, I am getting an email saying 'we have received a login attempt from a browser we have not recently seen' every time I try.

I miss just being able to have a chat with Denise who'd sort it immediately.

[paddykafka]

I don't even have a smartphone. I find them too finicky and awkward to use, as I could never figure out that tapping screen stuff (for much the same reason as I find internet techy stuff hard to figure out). I'm either tapping too hard or not hard enough. And don't even get me started on all that scrolling malarky, lol!

I would need someone to be actually physically beside me, literally guiding me through each step of the process. I then write down each step to be taken, in my own hand-writing, after which - with a certain amount of practise - I can then refer to my notes, if needed, so as to perfect a technique that works for me.

Anyways, one quick call to my favourite comic shop has sorted out the problem. The lads in Sub-City comics have ordered The Sarge for me, and it should - postal problems / delays in Brit-Cit aside - be ready for me to collect next week. (And for six euro cheaper than if I had ordered it online!)

For any Irish Squaxx, or those visiting the Emerald Isle, I would heartily recommend a visit to the best little comic shop in the world. (I've had a standing order for 2000AD with them for many years now.)

https://www.subcitycomics.ie/