Messages

FACT:

Ladies, are you concerned about the state of your crops? Do you wish those pesky cattle would stop trampling your maize with their nasty old hooves?
Well, why not try the Cameroonian approach? The good women of north-western Cameroon have finally called off their highly successful two-month sex strike, in which a quite staggering 6,000 women refused to have sex with their partners until they did something about the destruction of crops by those goddamn stomping cattle.
Which they did, unsurprisingly. It works every time, the fools.

(reported in today's Guardian)

...Dudley

FACT: Each inch taller you grow in height is worth an average of $789 in per annum earnings, a recent study has found.  Proving that taller people earn more in all walks of life, the statisticians speculated that height is linked to perceived ability and confidence.

Link: http://www.wnbc.com/employment/2561766/detail.html" target="_blank">Rejoice, shorties, it's not your fault!

FACT: Trout's evil Worst Thread Ever will never replace this as the longest-running thread ever.  Ever.

FACT: I got it wrong on the "Iraq Survey Group" Thread".  They found botulin in Iraq!

(Admittedly just one small vial, hidden under a piece of paper, weak enough that it might well have been intended for Saddam's forehead wrinkles, but still...BOTULIN!)

Oh, European, definitely.  I'm more likely to fall in one of their nests.

But if you want it rephrased, how much formica acid does it take to kill a man?

Not a one of these have I tasted - being a good vegetarian since I were but a lad of 13.  No, all this helpful advice is to be gleaned from the BBC's website - except the bit about woodlice, which I saw Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall enthusiastically chowing down on once.

The bit about formica acid, though - isn't it all a question of dilution?  Fact search challenge: how many wood ant stings would it take to kill a man?

But don't discard those grubs!  Insects are a source of high-quality protein and nutrients such as iron, calcium and B vitamins.
To make an invertebrate cocktail, consider some or all of the following:
Earthworms - 70% protein and soaking them in water overnight will purge them of soil.
Ants - have a vinegary taste and their juice can be used instead of lemon juice
Moths - said to taste like almonds
Termites - one of the most commonly eaten insects (in Nigeria you can buy termite stock cubes)
Fly larvae (maggots) - rich in calories and protein. Wash in cold water, boil and they're ready to eat.
Crickets - 100g of crickets contains 12g of protein and only 5.5g of fat.
Woodlice - taste like shrimp and are particularly excellent in a quiche
Honey bees - a worldwide favourite, edible at all stages of growth.

Super necro posting on this thread to say that 2000ADReview - the weekly site that now reviews every issue of 2000AD, all spin-off publications as well as carrying feature articles and interviews with most of Tharg's top droids - is now looking for new reviewers...

Link: http://www.2000adreview.co.uk/forums/index.php?showtopic=1549&pid=24264&st=0&#entry24264" target="_blank">Follow this link to volunteer

So MC-1 is established by the year 2032?  Isn't it about time that someone discovered a "missing" century or 2 between Dredd's time and ours, in order to keep those amusing references to our own time in there?

Since I'm allowed to do just songs, and in no order:

Moby - Hymn
Meat Loaf - Bat Out of Hell
Tricky - Black Steel
Leonard Cohen - Susanne
Eminem - Stan
Simon & Garfunkel - The Boxer
Sex Pistols - Anarchy in the UK
Massive Attack - Inertia Creeps
Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
Pulp - Common People.

Nobody ever likes the same ones I do.

But is the Herbal Essences "Sleeping Beauty" ad the worst ever made?

Yeah.  That's what they*want* you to think...

Half my mates from university went into PR or advertising: meanwhile I took the route of honesty and self-denial...and went into selling advertising.

Anyway, after 4 years of selling advertising to marketing people in advertising agencies I can honestly report that the advertising world is stuffed full of horrendously sexist single men under the age of 35.  As for research...research companies ask the agency "What result do you want us to give the client?" and then work out a way to provide it.  

And the whole thing with using adverts to slag off men came about because the first slew of these adverts (Spirito de Punto was about the peak) got enormous press attention with well-intentioned idiots saying "oooh is there a shift in the British attitude" blah blah fucking blah.  So the PR agencies (evil, EVIL people) said to their clients, look it's worked for your competitors, it's bound to work for you too.  And since these ads were winning awards, the agency was only too happy to go along with it.

While some of the people working on these execreble piles of shit may indeed be women, they're almost invariably the sort of well-paid professional women who say "oh, I'm not a feminist, I just believe in equal rights", and long for the day that they earn enough to employ an Estonian au pair at slave rates.  And to do so they bring out a product that actively adds to the sum total of human misery.  Fuck them, whatever gender.



I'm reading a lovely book at the moment - Astonishing Splashes of Colour by Clare Morrall.  Calms me down a treat.  Do try it.

While I hate to disagree with you twice in a thread, I have to say that retsina is very nice when it's done right.  I.e. when it's not just cheap ass shit plonk picked up from the offie.  A decent wine turned into retsina properly is delightful.  Retsina Kourtaki is reasonably good and available in the UK.  
But, if you are going to appreciate it, don't think of it as wine: the flavour is too different.  Personally, I think the main reason we Brits slag it off so much is that it makes sense best in Mediterranean weather conditions.

Zivania, on the other hand, is worse than meths.  Just say no, kids.

Official Product Warning

You know how Wrigley's Extras ads are awful?  Well, they're not half as bad as the new flavour "mountain fresh".  You pick it up in the shop, thinking "hmmm, sounds intriguing".  Only seconds after you put it in your mouth you think "Hang on, isn't that a toilet cleaner flavour"?  You bite down.  The flavour of pine fresh Ajax won't leave your mouth for the next 24 hours.