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Messages - Jade Falcon

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Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 06 November, 2021, 04:23:09 PM »
I must admit to feeling very down lately. The winter months are ones I loathe, and my flat is quite cold. Sleep patterns are getting worse and nothing is giving any satisfaction or glint of happiness any more.

I had someone on from the Jobcentre saying how there's plenty jobs and 'perhaps I should consider retraining' for the nth time, how bloody frustrating.

Life is just holding no appeal with being on my own and no prospect of that changing and the whole Oxfam farce has been the final straw. My model club has started meeting again but I just can't get the energy or motivation to do anything. I just wonder what is the point of it all.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 04 November, 2021, 01:00:57 AM »
Could you file a GDPR request and ask for copies of any documents relating to your employment there?

You should at least be able to get your personnel file, no?

That I don't know, I have a feeling the two 'people' in charge are poisoning the well by making comments (probably untrue ones) to the area manager. 

This entire week has been pretty depressing and I can't, no matter how hard I try, seem to get the damn thing out of my head.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 26 October, 2021, 10:01:04 PM »
I'm trying to think of how to file a complaint.  There is an email and a phone number.  I somehow think a phone call would be useless, but at the same time I'm not sure.

The one who banned me also said that the area manager had been informed which complicates things more as her spreading lies and misinformation will make things very difficult.

The sheer fact is that for some time that place as well as being a good place to get good books was a boon to me.  I got a big confidence booster, I felt I was making a contribution, that I was valued.

Then when that pair arrived it got increasingly toxic, I think on Friday I had a bit of a panic attack, but the thing that is enraging me more is the sheer lies that is being spread.  What was happening was almost tantamount to workplace bullying, and later when I was out, harassment.  It seems that they were spoiling for a fight, along with what my former collegue says about the atmosphere being very sinister.  Example, volunteers are not allowed to change a window display.  I live on the Clyde Coast, and quite often if we had a donation of say, local history books and books about Clyde built ships, that would go in the window as those sort of things were popular, but it seems volunteer initiative is being stifled and its more of a "yes m'am, no m'am, three bags full".  There's talk of treating people with respect, but in my opinion it has to go both ways, you can't treat people like dirt and expect them to worship the ground you walk on.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 24 October, 2021, 02:59:56 AM »
Sorry, that last post sounds a bit harsh (I couldn't see a way to edit the post hence the double), I just find it frustrating.  If there's any justice, karma or whatever, they'll have payback for their actions because honestly I can't fathom how they've kept their positions.

When I started we had one manager, as mentioned before.  The next one struggled, but at least tried and was approachable, but then there was a manager and deputy and it seemed that they did worse in terms of attendance, in terms of people skills and a lot of other things.

I enjoyed my time at the bookshop for a long time and then it suddenly went downhill.  It is hard to describe just how much.

My work at the hispice isn't as enjoyable as the bookshop was at it's best, but at least I feel that I'm doing something.  Maybe with luck they might expand their book section.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 24 October, 2021, 02:22:41 AM »
I know this sounds irrational, but I can't just 'let it go', its like an itch, I feel I have to do something.  I want to make a complaint, or at least try to, because I just don't think it's right that these two scum get away with treating people like this.  I know this really might not sound right, but it just seems, they wouldn't let me back in, but that wasn't enough, they had to humiliate me.  Enough is enough, I'm not going to take their crap lying down.

Bah, I know it sounds futile, it sounds stupid, but I just feel I've got to do...something.

Also, there aren't any other bookshops nearby, other charity shops have the usual token selection.

Sorry, a bit of a rant, but I'm not in the best frame of mind right now.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 23 October, 2021, 03:33:17 PM »
It's not the money, as I got a substantial back payment when I got PIP, but just that it is such an amount. I also don't want to squander it. I laid out on a few things initially, a repair on my car, a new razor, new mattress, but I don't want to go mad.

Basically I think this woman was spoiling for a fight. I wasn't in the back, she said I was, not wanting a confrontation I said whatever, and that gets me barred. I feel ill and take a seat and despite her being told that there had nearly been an ambulance called, she didn't give a shot and still told me to leave.

It's also the slanderous way she's went on that is hurting, I might direct a complaint to Oxfam itself, but considering they've had bigger scandals they seem almost like teflon.

Constantly going on about how staff and customers should be treated and then outright ignoring that self same directive stinks and is hypocrisy of the highest order.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 23 October, 2021, 02:39:22 AM »
No problem Funt Dog, I can understand what you mean.  It seems being polite with them makes you a mug.  We used to have a supervisor who got a job with the local council.  I asked to go for supervisor (still unpaid) training.  At that time I was working 24 hours a week.  All day Monday, Friday, Tuesday morning and Thursday afternoon.  I was told at the time by the Jobcentre I would have to cut hours to a maximum of 16 otherwise my benefits could be affected.  It seems this rule is no longer in place, but I digress.  I was looked at as if I had made a bad joke and then told I would have to work more hours and do hours in the 'general' store.  I mentioned the DWP restriction but it was said "Who will know", I wasn't about to risk it.

Sorry for your mishap, Jade. Humans are sundry and all.
I can't say anything that'll help your condition, Jade. I don't have a magic wand, so I can only say try to think positive. Depression is a nasty bitch; hence, try to avoid things that make you depressive, at least those that make you personally depressive. Maybe to try traveling around the world, I don't know what else to say to you. Actually, the best advice I could give to you is to make some major changes in your life. Try something new (well, traveling is one of them). Until then, I'll repeat what someone wrote here already - post on the forum regularly.

Unfortunately changing things seems to be easier said than done.  Travel probably isn't feasible for a number of reasons.  Being on benefits means the DWP want you at hand, understandably, but secondly, my health would probably mean health insurance would be crippling, no pun intended.  My late mum had got money some years back and proposed a trip to New York, a place I long have wanted to see, and for the two of us, health cover would be then £1800 +, before anything else.

I think what gets me is the lying, back when I tried to get back in they insisted I had walked out twice, which I still contend.  They said they had records, but its strange that if they have records they can't back up their assertion.

It's been bothering me all night.  I went to see Dune with some friends, and found that despite waiting weeks for this film and enjoying it, at moments I found my concentration slipping and dwelling on it.  I've had an almost continual migraine since the incident which refuses to go despite use of Co-Codomol.  I have stress related epilepsy and am worried it might trigger a fit..or worse.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 22 October, 2021, 04:08:34 PM »
I know you're angry, upset and frustrated, and may well have every reason to be so, but I was wondering if it had occurred to you that they may be frightened of you. You keep using the word "bitch" to describe women you disagree with, and seem very angry with them. I wonder if you come across as angry and aggressive in person. I have no idea, but your stories suggest it's a possibility. Have you considered giving them some space so that they feel safe?

I realize my questions may not be welcome, but I'm uncomfortable not saying anything at this stage.

Far from it, when I first left due to depression, customers said they would miss me.

We have lost a lot of volunteers, and there were constant talks of respect, which is fair enough but when it only goes one way....

I don't use the word bitch verbally, and I only feel this way about the management. Our first manager was a woman who was hard, but fair, she wouldn't ask you to do something she wouldn't be willing to do herself.  The only time I might have seemed a bit ticked off was one time there was a customer who was very abrupt with me, so I asked her if I had said or done something wrong, she said no I was very polite, so it was possible she was having a bad day, was in a hurry or was perhaps feeling unwell. I was there for over three and a half years and no one ever complained

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 22 October, 2021, 03:49:08 PM »
Well today makes me feel even worse. I was in the bookshop as a customer. The snotty assistant manager from the other shop came in and said I was in the backshop against regulations. I wasn't, my toe might have been over the line. She said I was wholly in the back, I said 'whatever', I just wasn't in the mood for a confrontation, and she said not to come back and left.

I suddenly felt unwell, pounding headache, unsteady on my feet and generally light headed. One of the volunteers said I should sit down, and offered to call an ambulance. I declined but sat there for a time until the deputy manager returned. She looked at me as if I was something that she had scraped off her shoe and told me to leave. The volunteer mentioned nearly needing an ambulance but she totally ignored her and told me to leave again barring me from both shops.

I have never been barred from anywhere before, and for some possibly irrational reason I'm not happy leaving it there, that pair of bitches said they also informed the area manager.

This I feel is getting into victimisation territory.

Books & Comics / Re: Whats everyone reading?
« on: 18 October, 2021, 09:35:31 PM »
Continuing my reread of Feists works, I'm onto the Serpentwar saga.  I know some people think there was a decline in quality round about then, but I always liked this series and particularly liked Rise of A Merchant Prince with Roo Avery's rise in status.  I do feel that later Midkemia books made Pug and later Miranda very standoffish unlikeable characters.  I can see why, that Pug doesn't want to be ultimately beholden to one Kingdom and used as a magical WMD but still.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 17 October, 2021, 07:13:42 PM »
TBH I think you're wise to be cautious about sleeping pills, Jade.  A responsible GP would be leery of prescribing them too and certainly not long term because of addiction issues.  As you say though, interaction with other medications is another reason to steer clear.

Well I'm on, Ramipril (two doses), Epixipan, Epilim, Metaformin, Dixogin, Bisoprolol, Furosemide, Omeprazole and Co-Codomol.  All that together doesn't help matters.  As well as being on Gaviscon for digestion issues as and when needed.

Regarding job goals, it wasn't as if I was overly ambitious.  When I was in my teens my big thing was that I wanted to join the RAF, but epilepsy put paid to that.  I used to have a friend who was always into applying for management and supervisory style roles, I wasn't the Arnold Rimmer type who wanted to go up the ziggurat lickety split so to say.  I would have been happy with a fairly modest life, but the whole thing about being alone has really recently hit me and its something that has, without trying to be dramatic consumed me.

I find that walking alone for example just makes me dwell on things even more if that makes sense.

I'm still bitter at the way that b**ch at Oxfam wouldn't have me back.  I took time off because I was feeling really bad emotionally and she says I have walked out twice which is a lie.  She says she has records which can be faked, meanwhile she is downright incompetent and abrasive.  The constant hopeless feelings really do get bad.  For instance with the 2000ad collection I had a pile of them sitting unread because I just couldn't find the interest to read them. 

The house is a mess and despite trying to clear it up its futile as I just feel off and wonder what the point is anyway.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 17 October, 2021, 04:28:06 AM »
I'm not really a sports person, I never have been, I don't even have any interest in sports activities on the TV never mind participating. :)

As to sleeping pills, the main reason I don't want them is that I'm on so many pills already, 25-30 a day that there'd be a chance they might react and I just don't want to take the chance.  I've got tons of stuff to read, dvd's to watch, but sometimes I just don't feel like it.  The way I feel is that I'm 50 and I've had a totally wasted life with noone to share it with, no job, health issues both physical and mental and basically feel I'm the prime example of what the yanks would call a loser.  I've got material possessions but these don't make you happy in themselves.

Announcements / Re: 2000 AD - The Ultimate Collection
« on: 16 October, 2021, 02:47:38 AM »
Wonder if we could get the last two arcs of Savage in a book paired up with Disaster 1990 for the sake of completion.

I'd welcome that, I've got Disaster 1990 on floppy thanks to someone on this site, but more Savage is always good.  I was surprised at one thing in The Guv'nor, when he teleported the Siberian Tiger into the Volgan Generals tank and came away with the quip "I put a tiger in his tank", I wondered how many knew the origins of that line.  I remember as a kid in the 70's having some of the Esso posters with the tiger and that phrase.

Disaster was silly but in fun turn your brain off way, although it's main fault was that it seemed to suddenly stop as if the writers had been told "You've got a week or two then this is ending", and that was it.

Off Topic / Re: The Black Dog Thread
« on: 16 October, 2021, 02:43:21 AM »
I got volunteer work in the local Hospice shop, but to be honest I'm not really enjoying it nearly as much as I did the bookshop as that was my specialty so to speak.

Financial worries are no longer a thing which is a big help but I'm still feeling pretty bad mentally.  My sleep patterns are still away to hell, I'm often not getting to sleep till anywhere between 4-6 in the morning and sleeping a good part of the day and I hate that.  I'm still essentially alone and at times feel like I'm going mad, but its no use at all going to my GP or asking for further help as the previous mental health didn't help at all.

Announcements / Re: 2000 AD - The Ultimate Collection
« on: 15 October, 2021, 12:08:42 AM »
Got to wonder what some people at Oxfam are smoking with this sort of pricing


I am curious myself at the extension.  Is there any stuff we can definitely exclude?  I guess anything with a licence like Dan Dare and Stainless Steel Rat for instance, not to mention that both of those have been released fairly recently.

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