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The Black Dog Thread

Started by Grugz, 02 January, 2016, 09:54:32 PM

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Funt Solo

Quote from: Jade Falcon on 24 October, 2021, 02:59:56 AM
Maybe with luck they might expand their book section.

Have you suggested that? They may not have thought of it.
++ A-Z ++  coma ++

Tjm86

Quote from: Jade Falcon on 24 October, 2021, 02:22:41 AM
I know this sounds irrational, but I can't just 'let it go', its like an itch, I feel I have to do something. 

Sorry, a bit of a rant, but I'm not in the best frame of mind right now.

Nope, it sounds perfectly normal.  We live in a society that values 'justice' even if it rarely lives up to those ideals.  From a very early age we want things to be 'fair' and get upset when they aren't.  Think about the outrage over Cummings' behaviour during lockdown.

Quote from: blackmocco on 23 October, 2021, 10:45:00 PM
I think you should move on.

... having said that, this is a positive suggestion albeit easier said than done.  Different people take different amounts of time to 'let go' of grievances and negative experiences.  Considering everything else Jade is dealing with, it does feel a little like he's doing a pretty good job on this front.

In fact I would argue that by taking advantage of this place to vent and seek support he is doing exactly that.  He has been able to express his feelings about the way it has affected him without fear of judgement. 

Quite often we struggle to let go of things because we don't actually have that opportunity.  It needs time, space and a supportive place to move the process forward.

Quote from: Jade Falcon on 24 October, 2021, 02:59:56 AM
Maybe with luck they might expand their book section.

Funt's right.  You clearly have the skills, knowledge and experience necessary to make that happen.  Oxfam currently have a monopoly in this area that needs to be challenged. 

Worst case scenario they say they are happy with things the way they are and you've lost nothing.  Best case they let you run with it and you have something to work on.

milstar

Definitely file a complaint, Jade. Ofcourse, I know less than you and you know the best so the choice is all yours. But I think that every once in a while, these companies have to be challenged. Maybe it'll be fruitless effort, but maybe it'll inspire other people to do the same.
Reyt, you lot. Shut up, belt up, 'n if ye can't see t' bloody exit, ye must be bloody blind.

Jade Falcon

I'm trying to think of how to file a complaint.  There is an email and a phone number.  I somehow think a phone call would be useless, but at the same time I'm not sure.

The one who banned me also said that the area manager had been informed which complicates things more as her spreading lies and misinformation will make things very difficult.

The sheer fact is that for some time that place as well as being a good place to get good books was a boon to me.  I got a big confidence booster, I felt I was making a contribution, that I was valued.

Then when that pair arrived it got increasingly toxic, I think on Friday I had a bit of a panic attack, but the thing that is enraging me more is the sheer lies that is being spread.  What was happening was almost tantamount to workplace bullying, and later when I was out, harassment.  It seems that they were spoiling for a fight, along with what my former collegue says about the atmosphere being very sinister.  Example, volunteers are not allowed to change a window display.  I live on the Clyde Coast, and quite often if we had a donation of say, local history books and books about Clyde built ships, that would go in the window as those sort of things were popular, but it seems volunteer initiative is being stifled and its more of a "yes m'am, no m'am, three bags full".  There's talk of treating people with respect, but in my opinion it has to go both ways, you can't treat people like dirt and expect them to worship the ground you walk on.
When the truth offends, we lie and lie until we can no longer remember it is even there, but it is still there. Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid. That is how an RBMK reactor core explodes. Lies. - Valery Legasov

The Legendary Shark

[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]




Rara Avis

Could you file a GDPR request and ask for copies of any documents relating to your employment there?

You should at least be able to get your personnel file, no?

Jade Falcon

Quote from: Rara Avis on 27 October, 2021, 06:56:08 PM
Could you file a GDPR request and ask for copies of any documents relating to your employment there?

You should at least be able to get your personnel file, no?

That I don't know, I have a feeling the two 'people' in charge are poisoning the well by making comments (probably untrue ones) to the area manager. 

This entire week has been pretty depressing and I can't, no matter how hard I try, seem to get the damn thing out of my head.
When the truth offends, we lie and lie until we can no longer remember it is even there, but it is still there. Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid. That is how an RBMK reactor core explodes. Lies. - Valery Legasov

Rara Avis

I don't think you would request this from either the store managers or the area manager - you could send a request directly to the Legal Department although it's likely that an organisation like Oxfam has a department / dedicated staff that deal directly with GDPR.

It's totally understandable that you're feeling victimised in this situation - the quintessential unfairness of it all is evident from what you've told us and how it has affected you. I also tend to become hyper focused on issues that bother me until my mind finds someway to help me make peace with the situation and move on.

sheridan

Quote from: Rara Avis on 04 November, 2021, 01:39:59 PM
I don't think you would request this from either the store managers or the area manager - you could send a request directly to the Legal Department although it's likely that an organisation like Oxfam has a department / dedicated staff that deal directly with GDPR.


Make a DSAR - Data Subject Access Request - they're legally obliged to respond.  Considering the difficulties Oxfam has had recently I'd expect they have a Data Officer who would deal with such requests (I don't imagine an organisation of Oxfam's size wouldn't have had one prior to the high profile cases, but they'd definately have someone in place now).

Funt Solo

I'm feeling pretty close to resigning - and, for some reason, my mind always takes that a step further and suggests that the ultimate panacea would be just to resign from life. But then I feel like a fraud because I'm not that committed or wedded to any particular idea. Anyway - it's proving to be a difficult semester.
++ A-Z ++  coma ++

The Legendary Shark


Quote from: Funt Solo on 05 November, 2021, 06:29:11 PM

...the ultimate panacea would be just to resign from life.


Please don't.

[move]~~~^~~~~~~~[/move]




Tiplodocus

Quote from: Funt Solo on 05 November, 2021, 06:29:11 PM
I'm feeling pretty close to resigning - and, for some reason, my mind always takes that a step further and suggests that the ultimate panacea would be just to resign from life. But then I feel like a fraud because I'm not that committed or wedded to any particular idea. Anyway - it's proving to be a difficult semester.

Yeah, don't, please. This would be a bad thing.
Be excellent to each other. And party on!

I, Cosh

Quote from: Funt Solo on 05 November, 2021, 06:29:11 PM
I'm feeling pretty close to resigning - and, for some reason, my mind always takes that a step further and suggests that the ultimate panacea would be just to resign from life. But then I feel like a fraud because I'm not that committed or wedded to any particular idea. Anyway - it's proving to be a difficult semester.
I don't often com in this thread but I sincerely hope this is just a fleeting thought that you're not planning to follow up. You can always talk to someone, even me if you need to. Although the topic would mostly be data structures.
We never really die.

Funt Solo

Thanks - I think I just need to think about some practical means of a career shift. And get some sleep.
++ A-Z ++  coma ++

Rara Avis

If your job is getting to you that much; it's really not worth it. Just quit.

However if you have obligations like rent and mortgage it's probably not that easy. Would you consider making an appointment with local recruiters to see what jobs (outside) education match your skills. It might just make you feel a little better if you feel like you have options.

Alternatively you can look for jobs that interest you online, see where your skills match and what you might need to do to upskill and move into a role you want.

I have always enjoyed your commentaries here; they are well-balanced, sensitive, funny or illustrative where applicable. You are also unafraid to hold a mirror up to others and ask them to examine their ideas in a way that is encouraging and supportive. This forum is certainly all the better for your input. Don't give up ..