Well here we are, back again with seemingly indecent haste. Only 3 weeks after the last Input page Tharg serves up another selection of half baked goods in
Prog 2225, meaning we’re bang on schedule for that weekly letters page we’ve all being craving. The year 2525 remains favourite.
Still, it has come at a good time with our Golden Anniversary celebrations still in full swing. That’s right, 50 editions of Lettersentertainyou which is pretty good going given all those threats, diseases and downright abuse that we’ve been passing out, er, receiving.
This is a healthy offering with the new and the old (and the very old) all standing shoulder to shoulder and saying ‘is your arm sore where you got your jab?’.
We kick off with the appropriately named
Paul Newrick from Dorset. On the day the new ‘Rick & Morty’ trailer dropped Newrick has never been more relevant. Alas there isn’t a ‘Newmorty’ in the Beast’s database but we do have a Simon Mort from Poulton le Flyde who had his drawing of ‘Thrillbuster’ published in Prog 397. Maybe Paul and Simon should get together to offer a crumb of entertainment in these dark days? No? Suit yourself. Paul should probably focus on getting more letters printed to be honest, as he lags far behind the all Dorset Champion Paul Tapner who sits atop his heady pile of five Beast credits.
Paul Newrick&mortyonlyonAdultswim’s letter starts with a redundancy when he says that he is a ‘new’ and ‘first time’ subscriber - hard to be one without the other! He thinks he’s John Betjeman by slagging off Slough - come friendly bombs fall on Paul instead! He is also a big fan of sandwiches and Durham Red. We prefer a flan to be honest. Overall this follows the classic ‘I was lost but now I am found’ template and for that the Letter of the Week laurels were assured.
Next up an old face and erstwhile friend of all things letters.
Linton Porteus used to live in
Dundee but he likes American things now. He has sat on his weedy 29 credits since his last appearance in 2007’s Prog 1560. This effort, his 30th, makes for a tidy symmetry between his Prog and Meg successes, with them now 15 apiece. This resurgence sees him move up to 5th= on the all-time chart and pushes friend of the thread Alan Holloway down to 8th place overall.
Linton is obviously a reader of this thread as he’s taken our lead to lambast previous scribe Stan Wilks’ suggestion that the Prog should avoid politics. Linton may do well to follow Stan’s advice however, as his anti-Trump rhetoric may see some Good Ole Boys show up at his door armed with MAGA hats and pointed sticks. It is nice to see an old stager return to the fold and it proves once again the ‘Hotel California’ effects of writing in - you can write in any time, but you can never leave.
Another new writer with a slightly funny name next in the shape of
Paul Broadhead of Emailland. Paul has only one Widenoggin compatriot in the shape of Keith from Doncaster who has two drawings to his name, ‘Space Fighter’ and ‘Hammerstein’, from Progs 409 and 421 respectively. Keith was also profiled in Prog 376.
Paul Massivecranium mirrors the Letter of the Week as he was also lost and then was found too. Was Tharg out trawling the streets for waifs and strays this week? Paul bought books and subscriptions and is very happy with his decision to do so. Bet his wife is too!
Another first timer next in the shape of
Tony Smith from Nuneaton. Party fatigue means we can’t be bothered going through all the Smiths but we can say there have been 13 letters printed from Nuneaton with the previous offering being Simon Bissker’s Letter of the week in Prog 1435. Tony has the chance to make a name for himself in the Nuneaton ‘getting letters printed in 2000ad’ scene as the current record is only two and is jointly held by Chris Spicer, Paul O’Sullivan, Simon Buckley and Paul Huxley.
Tony is another long term reader and one who claims to have never written to Tharg before. For shame Tony! He breaks his duck with a short effort in which he says he likes the 3hriller and considers himself ’mature’. That’s nice Tony, pipe and slippers for you.
Last up is
Stephen Watson of Paisley who unashamedly begs for a credit due to him managing to exist for 50 years. To be fair this does make him the oldest man in Paisley. Fans of synchronicity will be pleased to learn that this is Stephen’s 50th letter in the Prog and 101st overall. He is still 3 shy of Floyd Kemode’s Prog record of 53 and breaking that will be his ideal birthday present (60th).
This letter isn’t his best with a transparent opening thanking every man and his dog for doing their job during the pandemic. Somewhat ironically, we understand that he didn’t get his Prog this week and had to beg a copy of the letters page from dubious sources so that he could impress no one at all. The remainder is a set up for a weak pun about Marks and Spencer jeans favoured by old farts and people who maintain letters databases.
Tharg’s generous greeting was gratefully received as was the Lobster Random trade.
Overall a wonderful letters page that saw the world record for letters published in 2000ad and the Megazine extended once again, the return of an old stager and three new writers to take up slack from the aging old guard.
See you next time, if we’re spared!
