I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Prog

[Barrington Boots]

"KISS MY BZZT!"

[sheridan]

Where do I stand? I'll tell you where I stand. I stand four-square for justice. I stand for discipline, good order and the rigid BZZT of the law - and Grud help any limp-wrist liberals who say any different.

"and Grud help any limp-BZZT liberals who say any different."

[The Legendary Shark]

BZZT! me up, Scotty!*

*Chairman loses extra points for a non-Twoothy quote and unconscionable inaccuracy.**

**And gains double points for honesty.***

***And because he's chairman.

[The Legendary Shark]

When are the competitions coming back?

Just wondering.

Only this is getting a bit unnerving.

Anyway - "In a city of eight hundred million desperate citizens, he is the BZZT!

Any more?

[The Legendary Shark]

Okay, rather than continue this rollercoaster, let's step things up a bit by going all Blanketty Blank on this thread's ass.

Blanketty Blank was a game show in history where the contestants had to guess what words had been blanked out of sentences. How to explain it simply? Well, if one imagines a sentence as a milk bottle and the words contained in the sentence as the milk, then there is something satisfying about that. However, the more milk, or words, are removed from the bottle, or sentence, the less satisfying it becomes; the bottle, or sentence, streaked with old milk, or residual punctuation, with just a few words, or milk, at the bottom of the bottle, or sentence, or even nothing nothing more than a dry film with things growing in it, or French. In this game, I will give you a bottle of milk, or sentence, with some of the milk, or words, emptied out. The purpose of the game is for you, the contestants, to replace the missing milk, or words, with any fluids, or words, you have at hand (but not milk, the original words - because that would be smart-arsed. And nobody loves a smart arse. (What does nobody love...? ooookayyy....) in order to make the milk bottle, or sentence, full again.

That's a very simple explanation, but I'm sure you can fill in the blanks for yourselves.

Right then, here's your first sentence:

"Giant, Slim and Hairy are the only players to survive the road crash! They've had to bring in a rookie, a veteran and two [spoiler]BLANK or BLANKS[/spoiler] to make up the squad!"

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

"Giant, Slim and Hairy are the only players to survive the road crash! They've had to bring in a rookie, a veteran and two tonnes of munce to make up the squad!"

[JohnW]

"Sam C. Slade. The C stands for BZZT!"
Whoops - wrong game.

[The Legendary Shark]

Don't sweat it - we need all the posts we can get...

[JohnW]

What for?
Do you extract essential nutrients from them?

[JohnW]

Collect enough posts and you can send away for a Rick Random figure with Eagle Eyes?

[JohnW]

Knit them all together to make a Coat of Many Posts?

[The Legendary Shark]

Posts mean prizes! What do posts mean...?

[JohnW]

Forgive me. I am merely, in the idiom of my people, feck-arsing around. It's a rainy Sunday evening and I'm too idle to do much else than derail an honest thread.
You are doing the Lord's work, sir. Do please carry on.

[The Legendary Shark]

There's nothing honest about this thread - half my material's pinched and the other half isn't funny either.

[Barrington Boots]

Not sure if we're still playing this game but I've been thinking about it all weekend:

"Giant, Slim and Hairy are the only players to survive the road crash! They've had to bring in a rookie, a veteran and two:
otters in tiny, adorable Harlem Hero kits
pints of lager and a packet of crisps
Slim hairy giants
and a half men
...to make up the squad!"