You know when you get one of those obscure, bizarre and usually unanswerable thoughts popping into your head, but there's never anyone around to share it with?
You know the type of thoughts I mean: Why don't fish drown? Why are colours all different and are we all myriad splinters of one single schizophrenic being? All the things we take for granted, but seem unlikely when you really think about them, that sort of thing.
Well here's your chance to unburden your mind of all of those annoying little things that make no sense and get in the way of you living a healthy well adjusted life, whilst giving the rest of the boarders the chance to solve life's little, and not so little mysteries.
My current musing's are:
Telephone's transmitting your voice, how unlikely is that?
What inspired someone to mix all those ingredients together, bake them at just the right temperature, and produce a cake? (Or indeed any recipe).
Why do so many people reject the existence of supernatural events, but accept the cycle of reproduction and birth unquestionably? (That's VERY unlikely when you think about it).
Feel free to attempt answers, and add questions of your own, but I'll leave you with one final thought:
Remember, just because evidence can be provided to justify why some thing is possible does not make it any less unlikely.
Why do cows, horses and sheep - which all eat grass - produce such utterly different types of cack?
What's the point of eyebrows?
Eyebrows are supposed to keep sweat from getting into your eyes (which they do)
And men have nipples cos we start to develop female breasts as a foetus and then our chromosomes switch, we become blokes, and then they stop developing.
Christ, I can be a boring know-it-all.
Anyway, to bring down the tone, why are you never offended by your own farts?
>What's the point of eyebrows?
Accepted wisdonm is that they're there to protect the sticky out bits of your skull from damage when you drunkenly walk into doors, and to stop sweat from running into your eyes.
Also : Eyelashes are for stopping dust in the eyes...
Why doesn't the paint dry in the tin?
>Why doesn't the paint dry in the tin?
Because paint drying is due to evaporation of a constituent component, whether water or a solvent, and in a sealed environment no evaporation is possible.
Same reason why wine or water doesn't dry up in the bottle.
At what point does glue go from being just sticky slime to actually holding something solidly?
How do snails decide who's going to where then frilly underwear and who's going to roll over and go to sleep afterwards?
Politicians? What good do they actually do?
War (huuuh!) What is it good for?
You can be underwhelmed or overwhelmed, but is anyone really just whelmed?
"War (huuuh!) What is it good for?"
The miltary-industrial complex.
Why does red mean stop?
Nigel
Red also means danager, and port (as in left)
whilst Green means go and starboard (as in right)...
why?
Red is port because port is a kind of red wine.
Starboard could be the name of a fancy cocktail, which might be green, I don't know.
"Starboard could be the name of a fancy cocktail, which might be green, I don't know."
Starboard is a contraction of 'steering board' which, before the central (dorsal?) rudder was invented was a damn great paddle stuck over the right hand side of the boat to steer it. To avoid damaging the steering board boats were always moored with their left-hand sides to the harbour wall - hence 'port'.
Nigel (trivia spelunker)
red is danger because its the colour of blood.
war is good for polititians.
polititians are good for makeing wars.
snails get to decide who wears the frillies with a lot less fuss & fairness that bigotted humans.
glue goes sticky because the gluey molecules are suspended in water or solvent base & when that evaporates they are forced to bond together.
people are allegedly not offended by their own farts , because i presume same reasons as dogs etc use their bodily stuff to mark their territory, primative instincts, same as why people are still scared of spiders etc.
why do girls squeal for attention & men spit when a lady looks straight at them ? instinctual beasts we are i tell you.
why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
Do we all experience qualia in the same way?
BTW Qualia are what happens in your brain when you have something effecting your senses (ie seeing the colour red, hearing a guitar cord, tasting vanilla ice-cream)
"why are you never offended by your own farts?"
I was offended by one of mine on the train this morning, so much so that I moved to a different carriage, thus leaving my repulsive beast to entertain hapless fuckhead commuters.
Why do people spend so much time and their hard earned cash on shopping for complete crap they don't need or actually want?
Why can't I find any decent staff for my new store opening?
If all life is descended from one single life form, does this mean we are all related to each other? More importantly are we all guilty of incest?
No, no & no (in that order).
HALT!
As a valuable public service, your King must point out bloody Karne has sucked you all into another of his pointless threads.
Careful now. You may never escape...
- Trout
Just one more, pleeease your Troutship?
Do you ever, ever, get that feeling that the perfect song is out there somewhere?
"pointless threads".
Everything has a point your Troutship, but only the wise can see that. Now excuse me, I have to sell a naked Emporer some new clothes.
karne the sage (but no onion).
The perfect song is out there, I just can't bloody hear ir for all these feckin' birds which just appeared as I got near...
Why does salt make chocolate taste sweeter?
it enrichs the natural bitterness of real pure cocoa.you only need 1/2 tea spoon to a kilo. but its really worth effort.
( not with cadburys though, we are talking cobachee dark chocolate here.)
i thought the chef who told me that was sharing a kitchen joke with team at my expense the first time i heard that.but it does work.
but if you have it MSG will blow you away.
its like comparing cocaine to weed.the MSG being the coke.
DD, you mix the Choclate with the MSG or the salt with the MSG?
During my relatively short life i have heard many perfect songs.
well, many that seemed perfect for a while and in retrospect , aren't.
Now why is that?
"many that seemed perfect for a while and in retrospect , aren't."
Strangely enough Fishy, this thought crossed my mind this very day. As I played some old compilation albums whilst toiling away, I became aware that other people in my workplace were listening and suddenly thought what if they think I like this sort of stuff now?
I decided it's like a developing sense of humour. You begin by liking poor quality sit-com's and end up raving about Brass Eye. Either that or we start to feel embarrassed by what people might think of our individuality.
"Do we all experience qualia in the same way?"
This is something that has always intrigued me. Think the answer is yes and no.
On a gross level we all experience the same. My red is the same as yours and so on for blue, yellow etc. Same with sweet/sour tastes, nice/stinky smells.
At a more subtle level we are all different, hence different taste in food, colours, clothes which we can't really explain to each other.
We can both look at blue but my blue means different things to me than yours. Some people are more varient in their perceptions than others, explaining the red shirt green trousers ensemble down the local nightclub.
On a lighter note, when physicists were first mucking about with nuclear reactions they found a certain amount of energy from the reaction was unaccounted for. They postulated the existance of the neutrino to explain where this energy was going.
Later on, hey presto, someone finds a neutrino.
The question is, were they always there or do we make up reality as we go along?
You are probably right. we refine out taste as we age. Thats what it is then.
Cheers Karne.
What is the point of your appendix, other than trying to put you in an early grave?
Did it serve a purpose in mankinds early development, or is it just a built in culling device?
I think its the remenant of an extra stomach or something that we dont need anymore and has become obselete... I think.
>
I don't know, but if it's the latter then I've just concluded some long and detailed research which has proved categorically that the stability of reality as we know it is entirely dependent upon ?17m appearing in the bank account of one MR SIMON J SPURRIER. It's bizarre how the little things are so important, but who am I to argue in the face of the facts?
Drinks on El Spurioso at the next Dreddcon then... ;)
dear mrs fiery bou, wasn't that one about birds appearing one of mine on the q and a board?
"During my relatively short life i have heard many perfect songs.
well, many that seemed perfect for a while and in retrospect , aren't. "
Funny, that, innit?
However, thanks to the "replacing albums you thought you'd never track down on CD" power of the store that is FOPP, I'm delighted to report that "Talk Talk Talk" by the Psychedelic Furs really IS one of the finest and bitterest (erm, most bitter) albums ever created, and not merely a rose-tinted recollection of teenage angst.
And the original version of Pretty In Pink is almost enough to wipe away the memory of the abomination that was that chuffin' John Hughes movie ...
Cheers
Jim
Being lucky (or smug) enough to have all the official and some not so official Furs albums/compilations in my C.D. collection I couldn't agree more with you there Jim.
On the subject of the John Hughes movie, did you know that Molly Ringwald was responsible for the idea for the film? Apparently she was a big fan of the song, completely misinterpreted it and came up with the idea of a poor (her idea of poor anyway) girl who falls for a rich boy.
On the plus side, it's a real good job she wasn't a fan of Dumb Waiters or we could have had a film about vocally challenged serving staff.
"On the subject of the John Hughes movie, did you know that Molly Ringwald was responsible for the idea for the film? Apparently she was a big fan of the song, completely misinterpreted it and came up with the idea of a poor (her idea of poor anyway) girl who falls for a rich boy. "
Nope. Didn't know that.
Proof, if proof be need be, that Molly Ringworm not only has a face like a slapped twat, but really is as vacuous as she seems!
"All of her lovers all talk of her notes/ And the flowers that they never sent/ And wasn't she *easy*/And isn't she pretty in pink ...?"
Yeah - definitely material for a lightweight teen romance, there, Moll ... muttermuttergrumble ...
"On the plus side, it?s a real good job she wasn?t a fan of Dumb Waiters or we could have had a film about vocally challenged serving staff. "
Or a touching examination of a relationship challenged by narcolepsy, based on "I Just Wanna Sleep With You" ...
Cheers
Jim
Don't even get me started on "Into You Like A Train" or I Wanna Sleep With You". :)
i never listen to songs which i considered perfect.and think thats rubbish now.
i tend to smile at myself,and go and buy the CD,if i dont already own it.no matter how poor it may be percieved by others.it is a moment in my life for better or worse.
Adam and the ants DOG EAT DOG.still makes my adrenline run fast.in the same way did when i first heard it.
im achild of the eighties and proud of it.
are we more critical because of the ease of email?
many moons ago.if we encoutered a bad experince in a service sector,we would walk away annoyed, make some noise and perhaps phone the managment.
make threats of writing a letter but rarely doing so.
but now with e mail.do we act upon this failing by bringing it to the managments notice in writing no matter how trival it actaully is.or are we finally able to follow through on our constant threats and as such do so.
Personally, I prefer to send people filth. I also quite enjoy receiving it. Hmmm! says a lot about me doesn't it?
it says welcome to the world of 98% of internet users.
sad but true.
Would our lives be better if we never got technologically advanced?
After all we were tougher and more resilient to illness in the past but now medicine is creating superbugs....
but by the same token horrific illnesses have been wiped out. Are we doomed to protect ourselves so much that it'll all collapse and spell our end?
Does it matter if I wont be around to deal with it?
Hehe.
J.
Would our lives be better if we never got technologically advanced?
all i can say can you remeber how it was before SONY created the play station.
i rest my case. life is better.
"Would our lives be better if we never got technologically advanced?"
Yes it would because it would mean we didn't have to talk to ar*eholes from the electricity board who can only quote their guide book at you even if it has no relevance to the point you are trying to make.
Who looked at that first lump of sour milk and decided, "That'd be nice with a bit of tomato".
More to the point, who thought "What a yummy dessert that would make, I think I'll call it yoghurt" (It was even named after the gag reflex).
Why does no-one want to give me a job for the summer?
Why does no-one want to give me a job for the summer?
if you mean as in trade i would try ebay.
He said sarcastically....
"coz you keep stealing peoples Icons?!"
:-)
Yer Slippo
You remember Steve Austin the Six Million Dollar Man? Well he had these bionic legs so that he could run faster, but he didn't have a bionic heart or lungs so why didn't he collapse and burst after a forty-foot sprint?
Also if his arm was bionic but his shoulder/back wasn't how could he lift up tanks without hurting his back or tearing his arm out?
Ah-ha, but why do
nuns have nipples?
Link: http://www.pauljholden.com
"Also if his arm was bionic but his shoulder/back wasn't how could he lift up tanks without hurting his back or tearing his arm out?"
Kinda painful when he has a wank too.
I presumed he used the off-hand...
"Ah-ha, but why do nuns have nipples?"
Possible answers:
1. So they have somewhere to hang their Rosary beads.
2. So they can figure out where to make the sign of the cross in the dark.
3. So you can suck them.
Sorry.
"Do we all experience qualia in the same way?"
Sorry to jump back here, but I had a t-shirt that I could have sworn was green, as did others, but then some other people insisted it was brown. None of us had been diagnosed as being colour-blind. So to answer the question, yeah, I'd say we do sometimes.
Now, why do people smile when they're happy?
"why do people smile when they're happy?"
Probably a reflex action. Baring teeth normally means back off I'm aggressive, so I don't know when it came to mean I'm happy.
And another thing: How do they (I'm not sure who they are, though) work out the viewing figures for telly programmes? Can they actually tell what each house is watching, or do they estimate the whole from monitoring a small cross-section of society?
Yeah, and how do they know if it's four people or one person watching the set? Or even none because they're all in the other room but left the telly on?
What about video recorders - do they register?
Saw this on a 'how do they do that' type of program
Families, single people etc are selected so that they form a statistically fair sample of the population.
They have a gadget on top of the tv with a remote it monitors what is being watched on tv (and I think video but don't quote me) each time a person in the family watches a program they used the gadget's remote to record that fact and when they stop watching... for each member of the family as they might come in or out. Thus there is a record of who watches what... and this can be expanded via some fancy stats into national viewing figures
"Families, single people etc are selected so that they form a statistically fair sample of the population. "
Yep, that's right, and I think the sample size is only about 3-4000 so how the hell they extrapolate viewing figures of millions from that is beyond me. I asked my stats teacher at college a couple of yrs back and he showed me the graphs etc. but I'm still not convinced. This would seem to be how most market research is done tho' and how "they" (the makers and sellers of "Stuff") work out that what we really really want is endless docu-soaps, makeover/lifestyle shows and streams and streams of the utterest crap imaginable, gah!
(Managed to pass stats, which I had to do as part of HNC social sciences, by stopping asking awkward questions and getting on with the hard sums)
And another thing: "Anytime, anyplace, anywhere" runs the oft-used saying. But surely anyplace and anywhere are THE SAME F*CKING THING FOR F*CKS SAKE!!!
Phew. Sorry. Calm now.
why are the Nazis described as being right wing when they were the National Socialist Party?
Don't think the terms right or left wing really apply when you get that extreme. Nazism and stalinism actually curve around the political spectrum and meet up somewhere round the back.
The real reason is probably really naff, like they wanted to portray themselves as both a party of the common man and a party of national unity. It was the early days of spin doctors you have to bear in mind.
Are dreams real or do we imagine them?
"Are dreams real or do we imagine them?"
The life you are living now could actually be a dream, and your dreams could be reality.
I often sit on the toilet in the middle of the night wondering if I'm actually there, or in actual fact I'm somewhere else (like in the middle of the town) pissing in front of everyone.
Err, bit too much information me thinks.
Joolz
Oh, that was YOU!
rotts
It all dates back to the nazi party before it was the nazi party. Hitler was originaly sent o spy on them because it was thought that they might be revolutionary, but apparently what he saw there he liked and eventually joined. Also a member was Ernst Rohm a die hard socialist so when Hitler became leader of the part and began his domination over it making it more and more right wing and extreme he had Rohm murder in the so called "night of the long knives" in 1934. If you're interested I coudl go on for much longer, but I'll stop now.
Yer "I got a higher in history" DC
As myself and other members of this site have pointed out before, many of us seem to have extremely similar traits, preferences and hobbies etc. This started me thinking about all the friends and people I know who also share similar traits.
I recalled a conversation I had with my sister in our teens, wherein I put it to her that if she was suffering from a multiple personality disorder, I might be a figment of her imagination. "Ah, but why would I be discussing such matters with you if I was indeed insane?" she replied. "Well", said I, "I could be that tiny rational part of you that is trying to make you see sense". "Oh", she said, and five years later had a nervous breakdown. I suspect this is probably what influenced her to become a psychiatric nurse, although it's more likely she thought she could cop off with loads of physically restrained patients.
However, I digress. My point is that many religions and philosophies believe that the world we live in is a product of our own influential minds. This being the case, do we invent each other's personalities to suit our own needs? Or are we unknowingly shaped by someone else's vision of how the world should be? Oh, and does anyone know how to get curry stains out of tea towels?
On the tea towel issue: chucking them in the bin and buying new ones is a sure fire stain removal method. For the more fiscally challenged I would recommend cutting out the bit of material with the stain and sewing in a new piece.
On the issue of influencing reality: if we do make up our own reality, do we do it while awake or asleep? (Ursula K. leGuin had some interesting points to make about this in The Lathe of Heaven.) Can one persons influence change everything or is it more a team effort? How easy is it to end up sitting in a dark room at 4.00am with a bottle of whisky thinking about how real reality is?
Six million dollar man issue: why let a few discrepancies (or indeed total disregard) of basic mechanical engineering and physiology get in the way of an action packed TV show. Strangely enough, the bionic eye is probably most likely though it didn't seem so at the time.
There are so many different religions and many sects withing each religion... how do you pick the one true way into heaven.
the idea we are strangley similar.
that is not so strange.given we are the 60 or so regulars out of what we think is about 24000 tooth fans.then there are potentailly 400 strangly similar grouping who dont bother with internet.(very sad bunch)
tea towel issues.
dont let it dry out,soak it in ice cold water.then rub washing up liquid on the stain.soak again. wash i warm water.
( this will also work on blood stains, monkey brain splats,and beetroot,)
six million dollar man
used his left hand.but the episode which addressed fact was banned.was also able to fold himself in half.also never mentioned in the series.
Don't you think it's peculiar that we are repulsed by the thought of drinking human breast milk, yet readily gulp down cows milk, which is not intended for our consumption and is not as compatible with us?
I'm not suggesting you should all go out and find a lactating woman to squirt tomorrow's cornflakes with, but surely, although it somehow sounds repulsive, human milk for humans and cows milk for cows makes a lot more sense.
Anyway, this ones up to you lot because I'm luckily (in this case) lactose intolerant.
Some years back I went to my local picture house to watch a splendid new film that went by the name of "The Green Mile". It was a very enjoyable film too, featuring excellent acting and moving performances from every one involved. In fact a great deal of the audience were reduced to sobbing and wailing, which did in many ways spoil my viewing pleasure somewhat.
I had the opportunity to view this film once more on my television set last night, but felt my enjoyment was somewhat marred by the fact that every time the endearing "John Coffey" character was on screen I kept thinking "There's that bloke who got his knees busted by DareDevil". Ah, how perception can not only colour your judgement, but really b*ll*cks up a good film for you too.
Two random thoughts, one of which is quite scary:
First (non-scary), on the subject of viewing figures I would add that Sky digital has an accurate set of viewing figures cos their digibox is linked to your phone line and it records your channel hopping then beams this to their headquarters early in the morning. Bear this in mind if you ever "stumble" across a freeview (whatever that is). The connection also updates software in the box.
Second (and scary), why do British polling cards have numbers on them? I'm talking about the slip of paper you actually mark to vote. In the last three elections (two general, one local) I notcied that my polling card had a number on it. I took the postcard thingie you get to the voting station and handed it over, my details were recorded in a big pad of paper and then I was given a polling card - but the number of my card was recorded against my name. This preturbs me cos it means the gpovenrment could find out how I voted.
This is not necessarily a big issue - I am happy to admit I voted labour on all occassions - but what it someone spoiled their vote as a protest, or voted green as a protest (which I intend doing at the next election)?
Votes are meant to be secret, are they not?
Mega-city UK? Democracy now!
Hmmm - hadn't noticed that (although I was a postal vote at the last election) but it is clearly disturbing.
Would the vote be considered spoilt if you were to blackmarkerpen out the serial number?
"There?s that bloke who..."
erm...spoiler warning?
Oops! Sorry Wils, though in my defence I'll just grass Dom up for putting this on the recent DareDevil thread as far back as mid-February:
"I found certain parts of the film just laughable and the fight at the end between him and kingpin ended poorly, kicked in the legs and then knelt there like a cheap whore."
You should see what some of the other boarders put on there as well.
yours,
karne the snitch.