Over 1000 posts to this utter nonsense?! That has to be worth a momentary ressurection at least...
As a child, JFK was enthralled by stage magicians and their super-human feats. His particular favourite was Harry Houdini, and after hearing rumours that his hero had at one time caught a bullet between his teeth, he vowed that one day he would also carry out such a trick.
By the time JFK reached adulthood he had perfected his stage persona to such a degree that he was inadvertently elected President of America. He initially saw this as a temporary setback to his plans of becoming the world's greatest illusionist before realising that his high profile would actually be of benefit to his stage career.
The final piece of the jigsaw came one summer afternoon when he popped into his local cinema to see a re-run of the 1959 hit comedy "Some Like it Hot". In that moment he knew instantly that his search for the perfect magician's assistant was over. Unfortunately for JFK though, Tony Curtis was unavailable at the time as he had more important things to do like chase girls half his age and star in films. Tony suggested his co-star, but when Jack Lemmon also decided to be unavailable the job went to their supporting actress and professional airhead, Marilyn Monroe.
Now that the line-up was complete it seemed like nothing could go wrong, but during a rehearsal on August 5th 1962, Marilyn asked if she could take a shot in the mouth. After the initial misunderstanding had been cleared up, JFK agreed, but only if he could replace the bullets with something less harmful in case anything went wrong. A search of the room revealed a bottle of sleeping pills, which JFK loaded into the revolver and then proceeded to shoot Marilyn in the gob with. After over a hundred perfect shots, Marilyn began to feel a little tired and decide to sleep. JFK being the perfect gentleman decided to strip her naked and leave her on the bed, little knowing that she had swallowed enough pills to send her off to the land of nod permanently.
It's unknown whether or not this unfortunate little accident had any effect on JFK's judgement, but on that fateful day in November 1963, he instructed three of his most able marksmen to position themselves in a book depository, on a grassy knoll and within the crowd of bystanders and then shoot him in the teeth in an attempt to trump Houdini's previous one bullet record. As the history books show the trick didn't go as planned. But public sympathy was so high that the FBI decided not to reveal how stupid JFK had been to attempt such a mad stunt in case it sparked a revolution or, at worst, apathy at the next election.
Events became a little complicated two days later when one of the marksmen, Lee Harvey Oswald contacted Claims Direct and threatened legal action against the family of Harry Houdini on the grounds that it was their relative who had given JFK such a stupid notion. The FBI feared that if the case went public then the true facts would be revealed. But Houdini's family, fearing bankruptcy, had already taken care of things by hypnotising their next-door neighbour, local night club owning gun-nut Jack Ruby to shoot Lee Harvey Oswald and prevent the claim from being taken any further.
Had JFK succeeded in his trick it is highly likely that he would have gone on to become the most popular President in American history. And without doubt, certainly the most entertaining.
As a child, JFK was enthralled by stage magicians and their super-human feats. His particular favourite was Harry Houdini, and after hearing rumours that his hero had at one time caught a bullet between his teeth, he vowed that one day he would also carry out such a trick.
By the time JFK reached adulthood he had perfected his stage persona to such a degree that he was inadvertently elected President of America. He initially saw this as a temporary setback to his plans of becoming the world's greatest illusionist before realising that his high profile would actually be of benefit to his stage career.
The final piece of the jigsaw came one summer afternoon when he popped into his local cinema to see a re-run of the 1959 hit comedy "Some Like it Hot". In that moment he knew instantly that his search for the perfect magician's assistant was over. Unfortunately for JFK though, Tony Curtis was unavailable at the time as he had more important things to do like chase girls half his age and star in films. Tony suggested his co-star, but when Jack Lemmon also decided to be unavailable the job went to their supporting actress and professional airhead, Marilyn Monroe.
Now that the line-up was complete it seemed like nothing could go wrong, but during a rehearsal on August 5th 1962, Marilyn asked if she could take a shot in the mouth. After the initial misunderstanding had been cleared up, JFK agreed, but only if he could replace the bullets with something less harmful in case anything went wrong. A search of the room revealed a bottle of sleeping pills, which JFK loaded into the revolver and then proceeded to shoot Marilyn in the gob with. After over a hundred perfect shots, Marilyn began to feel a little tired and decide to sleep. JFK being the perfect gentleman decided to strip her naked and leave her on the bed, little knowing that she had swallowed enough pills to send her off to the land of nod permanently.
It's unknown whether or not this unfortunate little accident had any effect on JFK's judgement, but on that fateful day in November 1963, he instructed three of his most able marksmen to position themselves in a book depository, on a grassy knoll and within the crowd of bystanders and then shoot him in the teeth in an attempt to trump Houdini's previous one bullet record. As the history books show the trick didn't go as planned. But public sympathy was so high that the FBI decided not to reveal how stupid JFK had been to attempt such a mad stunt in case it sparked a revolution or, at worst, apathy at the next election.
Events became a little complicated two days later when one of the marksmen, Lee Harvey Oswald contacted Claims Direct and threatened legal action against the family of Harry Houdini on the grounds that it was their relative who had given JFK such a stupid notion. The FBI feared that if the case went public then the true facts would be revealed. But Houdini's family, fearing bankruptcy, had already taken care of things by hypnotising their next-door neighbour, local night club owning gun-nut Jack Ruby to shoot Lee Harvey Oswald and prevent the claim from being taken any further.
Had JFK succeeded in his trick it is highly likely that he would have gone on to become the most popular President in American history. And without doubt, certainly the most entertaining.