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Topics - Proudhuff

Pages: 1 ... 35 36 [37]
541
Off Topic / Ever Googled yourself?
« on: 06 June, 2003, 04:26:45 PM »
I did! my real name in another country is a leading light in Role palying games, the shame the shame!!

proudhuff

542
General / Subsciptions
« on: 05 June, 2003, 10:15:46 PM »
I hate having to stay off the spoilers  so I've signed up!!

Expectant Prudhuff

543
Off Topic / Gossip fi Bristol?
« on: 26 May, 2003, 04:23:31 PM »
Well wappened??

544
Off Topic / Willie in Tooth
« on: 23 May, 2003, 05:11:31 PM »
Okay, stop sniggering at the back, Does anyone know if a 'Willie Nelson' type character has ever appeared in Tooth?

and if not GRennie gonnadaythat?  

please, please pretty please

545
Off Topic / Accountants in Tooth
« on: 16 May, 2003, 05:18:52 PM »
As accountants are coming back into Tooth, thought this was timely...

An architect, an artist and an accountant were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The accountant said, "I like both."
"Both?"
The accountant replied "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done."


To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the accountant, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

"An Accountant and His Frog"
An accountant was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week".
The accountant took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the accountant took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The accountant said, "Look I'm an accountant. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."




What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realises he doesn't have he charisma to succeed as an undertaker.


What does an accountant use for birth control?
His personality.

What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.


What's an auditor?
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.


There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count, and those who can't.


How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a roadmap the wrong way.


What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

546
Off Topic / Pattern Recognition
« on: 08 May, 2003, 03:44:09 PM »
Anyone else reading Willain Gibson's latest?
Anything ring familiar?

Huffsta

(Remember your spoiler alerts)

547
General / Dredd Pinball machine, Who won it?
« on: 02 April, 2003, 11:16:15 PM »
Dredd Pinball machine, Who won it? crap advert but how cool would that look in the living room?

Proudhuff

548
Off Topic / Commando Kennedy
« on: 11 March, 2003, 08:18:37 PM »
I recently saw a 'Commando' comic in a newsagent so I bought it just to see what it was like as I thought these were no more. Inside the cover was a one page pinup picture of a plane signed by Kennedy, judging from the drawing it certainly look like Cam Kennedy's work.

nice surprise

proudhuff

549
General / Cal-hab Psi Div?
« on: 08 March, 2003, 02:38:43 AM »
Whilst checking out the recruitment pages today i noticed that the Crown Office in Scotland was looking for PRECOGNITION OFFICERS!!!

Part of the job is investigating and preparing (minority?)reports.
 
I think Philip K Dick's estate should be told

Midenpus

550
Off Topic / League of Extraordinary Gents Film
« on: 06 March, 2003, 04:22:35 PM »
Today's Herald newspaper carries a extensive interview with Sir Sean Connery, mostly about his taxes and politics, but he does mention the LXG film :

'Despite the country's beauty there had been terrible floods, and it was one of the worst film experiences he had had: millions of dollars worth of sets were destroyed and there were major arguements between himself (Sean) and director Stephen Norington'

Sean then goes on to descibe Norington as Mr Hyde, then he waxes lyrical about the Herald's on line letter page and how simulating it was to read whilst in his sickbed.

Thought you might like to know, as strangely the article isn't online

Mediahuff

551
General / Spring Attack!
« on: 05 March, 2003, 10:24:16 PM »
'the trial of Soviet Assassin Orlok in Judge Dredd, brand new counter-terrorist series Snow/Tiger, and the return of the ABC Warriors'

Wotchafink?

552
Off Topic / 24 plot holes
« on: 03 March, 2003, 06:41:59 PM »
Does anyone know if there is a website that laughs/details at the plotholes in 24?
I heard about this on the radio during the last series but was'nt on line at the time. (Things like aircraft blown out the sky over California but nobody the media/President etc mentions it again )
s
p
o
i
l
e
r
.
.
Also was that smoke cloud real after the CTU was blown up? if so how did they stop the War-of-the-worlds type panic?

553
General / Absence excused?
« on: 24 February, 2003, 06:44:11 PM »
If anyone has noticed a lack of Firey-Bou This story from the BBC Scotland might explain:

Highland blazes test fire brigade


The fire brigade dealt with more than 80 blazes
Firefighters have been struggling to deal with more than 80 blazes in the Highland countryside over the weekend.

The clear weather of the past few days has stretched local crews to the limit.

Many of the fires were started deliberately and fire chiefs are appealing to people to show sense.

One of the most serious blazes was close to Glenfinnan Viaduct, near Fort William, which is being used as a location for the new Harry Potter film.


Gulp!

Must... send ... message...



554
Off Topic / Caballistic Inc or Bec and Krawl?
« on: 21 February, 2003, 07:08:32 PM »
Caballistic Inc or Bec and Krawl?
This came from 'The Herald'.  Life imitationg art?

Occult expert in hunt for horse attackers
By DAVID MONTGOMERY.
AN expert in religiously motivated crime has been called in by animal welfare workers to help investigate a series of attacks on horses that may be linked to the occult calendar.

Richard Hoskins is the official cultural adviser to the "Adam" case, in which the torso of a young boy was found floating in the River Thames. He was thought to have been taken to London and killed as a human sacrifice.

The consultant in religious crime, who lectures on religion at Bath Spa University, has now been enlisted by the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SSPCA) to analyse incidents, including ritual attacks, on horses around the country over the past 16 months.

While some animals have been stabbed, sexually abused, and assaulted, others have had their tails chopped off or manes plaited or covered in a sticky substance.

Horse owners have also found ritualistic symbols hidden in corners of fields, ranging from tiny stone altars to pre-Christian power signs such as double-headed axes.

The SSPCA has asked anyone who suspects their horse has been tampered with, no matter how minor, to make contact and it will see if a pattern emerges for what it suspects could add up to hundreds of attacks throughout Britain.

Doreen Graham, a spokeswoman for the SSPCA, said the timings of the attacks appeared to have links with the occult calendar.

She said a retired Aberdeenshire policeman, who was helping with the inquiry and who did not want to be named, had made the initial connection with the work of shamans or witch doctors.

The SSPCA inquiry, being run jointly with the RSPCA in England, will continue until December, after which Dr Hoskins and John MacIntyre, the chief pagan for Scotland, will analyse the results.

"Someone looked at statistics for various attacks and they seemed to start in October and end at Easter. This might tally with the occult calendar," said Ms Graham. "The god of the horse is Mars, and the day that relates to Mars is Tuesday. Some of the attacks happened late on a Monday night or early on a Tuesday."

Ms Graham said local "hot spots" had already been identified in Ayrshire, Fife, Lanarkshire, and Nottingham.

Middenpus.

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