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Topics - Dudley

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466
News / Science is good (AKA "Sex with dead ducks")
« on: 03 October, 2003, 10:59:09 PM »
The 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

The 2003 Ig Nobel Prize winners were announced on Thursday evening, October 2, at the 13th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, at Harvard's Sanders Theatre.

ENGINEERING
The late John Paul Stapp, the late Edward A. Murphy, Jr., and George Nichols, for jointly giving birth in 1949 to Murphy's Law, the basic engineering principle that "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, someone will do it" (or, in other words: "If anything can go wrong, it will").

PHYSICS
Jack Harvey, John Culvenor, Warren Payne, Steve Cowley, Michael Lawrance, David Stuart, and Robyn Williams of Australia, for their irresistible report "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces."
[PUBLISHED IN: Applied Ergonomics, vol. 33, no. 6, November 2002, pp. 523-31. A copy is available at http://www.culvenor.com/]

MEDICINE
Eleanor Maguire, David Gadian, Ingrid Johnsrude, Catriona Good, John Ashburner, Richard Frackowiak, and Christopher Frith of University College London, for presenting evidence that the brains of London taxi drivers are more highly developed than those of their fellow citizens.
[PUBLISHED IN: "Navigation-Related Structural Change In the Hippocampi of Taxi Drivers," Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 97, no. 8, April 11, 2000, pp. 4398-403. Also see their subsequent publications.]

PSYCHOLOGY
Gian Vittorio Caprara and Claudio Barbaranelli of the University of Rome, and Philip Zimbardo of Stanford University, for their discerning report "Politicians' Uniquely Simple Personalities."
[PUBLISHED IN: Nature, vol. 385, February 1997, p. 493.]

CHEMISTRY
Yukio Hirose of Kanazawa University, for his chemical investigation of a bronze statue, in the city of Kanazawa, that fails to attract pigeons.

LITERATURE
John Trinkaus, of the Zicklin School of Business, New York City, for meticulously collecting data and publishing more than 80 detailed academic reports about specific annoyances and anomalies of daily life, such as: What percentage of young people wear baseball caps with the peak facing to the rear rather than to the front; What percentage of pedestrians wear sport shoes that are white rather than some other color; What percentage of swimmers swim laps in the shallow end of a pool rather than the deep end; What percentage of automobile drivers almost, but not completely, come to a stop at one particular stop-sign; What percentage of commuters carry attach? cases; What percentage of shoppers exceed the number of items permitted in a supermarket's express checkout lane; and What percentage of students dislike the taste of Brussels sprouts.
REFERENCE: 86 of Professor Trinkaus's publications are listed in "Trinkaus -- An Informal Look," Annals of Improbable Research, vol. 9, no. 3, May/Jun 2003.

ECONOMICS
Karl Schw?rzler and the nation of Liechtenstein, for making it possible to rent the entire country for corporate conventions, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and other gatherings.
REFERENCE:  and

INTERDISCIPLINARY RESEARCH
Stefano Ghirlanda, Liselotte Jansson, and Magnus Enquist of Stockholm University, for their inevitable report "Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans."
[PUBLISHED IN: Human Nature, vol. 13, no. 3, 2002, pp. 383-9.]

PEACE
Lal Bihari, of Uttar Pradesh, India, for a triple accomplishment: First, for leading an active life even though he has been declared legally dead; Second, for waging a lively posthumous campaign against bureaucratic inertia and greedy relatives; and Third, for creating the Association of Dead People.

BIOLOGY
C.W. Moeliker, of Natuurmuseum Rotterdam, the Netherlands, for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck.
[REFERENCE: "The First Case of Homosexual Necrophilia in the Mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae)" C.W. Moeliker, Deinsea, vol. 8, 2001, pp. 243-7.


Link: Sex with Dead Ducks


467
General / Proudhuff & Tu-Plang - The Boarders of Time
« on: 30 September, 2003, 10:27:05 PM »
Congratulations to Proudhuff & Tu-Plang, respectively the oldest and youngest boarders.

468
Prog / Who's the oldest boarder?
« on: 30 September, 2003, 12:05:44 AM »
I'm curious - who's the oldest 2000ad fan who understands how to use the web?

Rules:  
1) I will start with my age
2) You can only post if you are older than the last person to post
3) The last person to place their age on this board will be deemed to be the oldest boarder

The oldest boarder wins a copy of Saga magazine, some incontinence pads, and a personal visit from the dark Judges.

So, starting young - I'm 28.

469
Help! / What's the name of the Wally Squad chief?
« on: 26 September, 2003, 06:24:21 PM »
What's the name of the Wally Squad chief?  You know, the one who dresses like a 'ho and got a kick-ass cover wrapping herself round JD?

470
Off Topic / Comments requested
« on: 25 September, 2003, 11:33:50 PM »
Hi

I have a plot for a 6-page (strictly fan-fic) Dredd strip, and am trying to convert it into a functioning script.  Problem is, I'm not sure about how well the images I have in my head and what I'm putting down on paper are meshing.  
What I desperately need is somebody with more artistic flair to tell me in visual terms whether they think this first page could be made to work as it is, or any suggestions for improvement in terms of structure or instructions to the artist.  (Of course, if any artistic type fancies the sound of it and would like to collaborate, email me privately and we can work something out).  I'm also trying to work out if this is too wordy or not wordy enough.


The Big Freeze

A Judge Dredd story

Page 1

PANEL #1

A sunny day over the MC-1 skyscape.
Main image is of the MARK SPITZ MEMORIAL AQUATORIUM.  This should take up the vast majority of the page.  The Aquatorium is a glass pyramid about 100 storeys high (so still dwarfed by some of the Blocks behind it).  It houses a giant water park, the centrepiece of which is an enormous fountain with lots of run-offs including water slides, in the middle of a giant lake.

CAPTION:    “OVER 100 STOREYS HIGH, THE MARK SPITZ AQUATORIUM OFFERS A RARE HAVEN OF TRANQUILLITY TO THE CITIZENS OF MEGA-CITY ONE

CAPTION:   “15,000 HECTARES OF SYNTHI-GRASS AND OVER 40 MILLION GALLONS OF WATER.  FOUNTAINS, LAKES, RIVERS – THE AQUATORIUM’S GOT THEM ALL!!!” – FRIENDLESS WORLD GUIDE TO MEGA-CITY 1

CAPTION:   LET’S SEE WHO ELSE MIGHT BE DROPPING IN…

Each of the following panels on this page should be an expanded detail from the main image.  (I’m thinking of the magnifying glass on the map at the start of Asterix books!).  The panels don’t have to be very large as each shows a static image.

PANEL #2

A bright, silver aircraft, streaking across the sky left to right.

CAPTION:   INBOUND MEGA-CORP MEDICAL TRANSPORTER WITH SUPPLIES FOR McGRUDER CENTRAL

PANEL #3

A scummy, dirty aircraft, smoke streaming out behind it, on an intercept course.  We can just make out the features of KING LOUIS, orangutan arch-villain, panicking at the controls

CAPTION:    KING LOUIS AND HIS GANG OF HENCH-APES, FAILING TO LEAVE THE SCENE OF A CRIME

PANEL #4

Smug little man with a bow-tie, wandering round and checking the facilities

CAPTION:   MARK SPITZ IV, FOUNDER AND OWNER OF THE AQUATORIUM

PANEL #5

(This panel might work best at the bottom centre of the page)

A group of Simps sitting round staring up at ARCHBISHOP DESMOND SNODGRASS.  They are wearing typical Simp attire – insane outfits with bright colours and surrealist touches.  SNODGRASS’s outfit includes a ludicrously exaggerated mitre & crozier.

CAPTION:   ARCHBISHOP DESMOND SNODGRASS DOING HIS SUNDAY MONING SERVICE FOR THE CHURCH OF THE UNREDEEMED LOBSTER.

PANEL #6

Dredd, in pursuit of King Louis’ gang, on Lawmaster with gun drawn, looking up

CAPTION:   …AND, OF COURSE, A FACE SOME READERS MAY FIND FAMILIAR....


So, what do you think so far?



471
General / Thursday Morning Puzzler
« on: 25 September, 2003, 03:57:16 PM »
Question for some scientist to answer:

a) The colour white is a mixture of 7 primary colours.

b) When I take paints in those seven primary colours and mix them together, I get dark brown.

Question: how come both of the above statements are true?

472
Off Topic / Iraq Survey Group
« on: 24 September, 2003, 10:31:30 PM »
No weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq by the group tasked with looking for them.
This is the conclusion of the Iraq Survey Group's interim report, due to be published next month.


The report says it was highly unlikely that weapons of mass destruction (WMD) were shipped out of the country to places like Syria before the US-led war on Iraq.   The report will also say its inspectors have not unearthed even "minute amounts of nuclear, chemical or biological weapons material".

They have also not uncovered any laboratories involved in deploying WMD and no delivery systems for the weapons.
Downing Street and the CIA have refused to comment until the report is published. The Ministry of Defence said it had not seen the report and therefore also could not comment.

- Report on BBC news website.



They lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and lied and then they lied some more.........

Worth the deaths of an estimated 45,000 Iraqis in 3 weeks, was it?

473
General / Trout: Insurrection
« on: 23 September, 2003, 09:42:14 PM »
> KILL THARG, OH MY PATHETIC FOLLOWERS!
> King Trout

Tharg, me old son.

One Rigellian, over easy, if yer don't mind...

(Just in case you mised the tragic end of the Dennis thread)

474
Off Topic / Where's Oddboy?
« on: 22 September, 2003, 05:12:56 PM »
Oddboy hasn't posted since the time limit ran out.

Oddboy - are you dead?

475
General / Gay Dr Who fans
« on: 17 September, 2003, 04:34:51 PM »
Russell T Davies, interviewed in the Guardian about his pre-"Queer As Folk" gay characters, says:

> I even wrote a Doctor Who novel in which the six-
> foot blond, blue-eyed companion interrupts the hunt
> for an interdimensional Gallifreyan War Machine to
> get a blowjob in the back of a taxi. Like you do.

Which novel?

Link: Russell Davies interview


476
General / Is Dredd a Fascist?
« on: 15 September, 2003, 08:37:26 PM »
Anybody remember the "Is Dredd A Fascist?" feature from an early issue of the Meg?  Could we have a copy on the site?

And, any plans to do anything like that ever again - I thoroughly enjoyed it!

477
Website and Forum / Tell me why (Wake question probly)
« on: 12 September, 2003, 08:22:52 PM »
Why do some of the messages on some threads not have a "reply" function attached?  I thought at first it meant that these people had killfiled me (which would probably be desreved after the old slagging match with jonnyeyebrows, in whih i was in the wrong) - but it's different people each time, and I can reply to the same people on other threads...?

478
Help! / Batman experts help needed
« on: 12 September, 2003, 03:43:52 PM »
Hi

Ages ago I read a Batman comic where he was fighting child sex slavery abroad (the Philippines?), which contrasted the simplicities of the supervillains he usually fought with the more diffuse nature of real evil...

What is it called and when was it published?

479
Off Topic / 11/9
« on: 09 September, 2003, 08:50:20 PM »
Are we allowed to make jokes about the tragic events in New York on September 11th 2001 yet?




And, does anyone know any good ones?

480
General / Who the hell is/was Scojo???
« on: 26 August, 2003, 09:29:58 PM »
Sorry, but this person's name appears to pop up every other thread.  Who was he/she/it, and what did they do to earn the undying emnity of 2000AD's message board community?

Cheers

Dud

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