Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[TordelBack]

Yeah, sorry to read that Batson.  Never a happy thing - hope matters change for the better.

[Rogue Earthlet]

As this thread began with content intended to amuse, I thought I'd join in, hoping I'd cause a few chuckles. But on reading the posts from Goaty and Batson (my sympathies to you both) it seemed almost like bad taste to send a light hearted message. But after giving it some thought, and deciding that trying to make people smile is never a bad thing, here goes.

A Little Trouble with the Dead

We've got a bit of a problem in my neighbourhood, in that some of the dead have a habit of rising from the grave every now and then, and eating the living. I wonder if should try and persuade these hungry zombies that they should change to a vegetarian diet, as it's much more healthy, but if anyone's got any better ideas I'd love to hear from them.
It maybe that their just protesting about societies treatment of the dead, which is pretty lamentable. The popular media constantly portrays them as flesh eating monsters, so maybe they feel they might as well do that.  And they do face a lot of discrimination, as we can see from the fact that the dead are rarely given the chance to take up positions of responsibility, (the House of Lords is an honourable exception. They have a positive discrimination policy, with only people who are dead being allowed to enter the Lords. Or at least brain dead).
Speaking as somebody who fully supports the right of dead people to have equal rights, I'd be delighted to hear from anybody who shares my belief that we should strive for a society where the dead have equality with the living, in a fair, just, democracy! Particularly I'd like to hear from any readers who are no longer alive, and would like to share their thoughts with us.

[Jim_Campbell]

Last Sunday, whilst munching on a fistful of shop-bought toffee popcorn, I bit down on an un-popped kernel. There was quite a lot of discomfort and the sensation that I might have lodged said kernel between two molars. A quick prod with a fingernail to try and dislodge it produced a pronounced cracking noise and definite movement in the offending tooth. A couple of stiff drinks and off to bed, followed by a day of considerable pain before I could get to an evening appointment at my dentist.

Turns out, I'd cracked a perfectly healthy tooth from top to bottom. Being healthy, it required the dentist to attack my mouth with a procession of carpentry tools to try and remove it, only for him to finally declare that — although the really painful bit was removed — part of the root refused to budge and he would have to refer me to hospital to have it surgically extracted.

That was five days ago, and it still fucking hurts. Fucking popcorn.

Ow.

Jim

[SuperSurfer]

Ouch Jim.

I recently bust a molar eating lentils. Or it could've been the bread. That tooth was previously broken when I bit an olive stone. I thought it would be a simple repair job. Not the case.

It amused me somewhat when the dentist told me that in this neck of the woods she regularly has to fix up teeth that have been broken when people have chomped on lentils and olives stones. She also works further out in Leyton (I think) and claims that most broken teeth over there that she fixes are a result of people biting on toffees.

[CrazyFoxMachine]

FFS Jim that's terrible as all balls.   

Now avoiding popcorn, lentils, olives, Oliver Stone and using my teeth.

[Mattofthespurs]

Tooth ache is the worst kind of ache closely followed by ear ache.
You have my sympathies.

I've broken ankles, legs, wrists, arms, jaws, collarbones, and ribs and none of those compare.

[Hawkmumbler]

Tooth ace is worsend by the fact it's often accompanied by ear ache or head ache. Bloody nasty Jim, hope it's over soon.

[Grugz]

ouchy! I broke a molar on pizza (god knows what on!) the day before my wedding and spent the day trying not to cut my tongue on the sharp edge .

[The Legendary Shark]

Ouch, Jim. I deal with toothache using a salt water mouthwash. It can hurt like Hell for a bit, and you have to keep the mouthwash in your mouth, swishing around, for about half an hour (though you can spit and replenish), but it works for me. Oil of Cloves is another must-have for toothache.
.
In any case, hope you get it sorted soon.

[TordelBack]

Ugh, hope that clears up for you soon Jim. 

[A.Cow]

You have my full sympathy.

Plus it's a universal law that toothache seems to only happen at weekends (especially Bank Holiday ones) when every sodding dentist is shut.

[Jim_Campbell]

Thank you, gentlemen! Your good wishes are much appreciated. I was going to ask that you bear with me if I seem more irritable than usual, but realised that no fucker would be able to tell the difference. :-)

Cheers

Jim

[CrazyFoxMachine]

Definitely more on the irritating-but-not-worrying end of the spectrum...

....during cooking a big roast our oven just stopped working. Dead. Kapoof. We've no fuses, it's too late to go and find fuses and we're not even 100 percent certain fuses are the problem anyway...  a fuckton of food wasted

[The Enigmatic Dr X]

Definitely more on the irritating-but-not-worrying end of the spectrum...

....during cooking a big roast our oven just stopped working. Dead. Kapoof. We've no fuses, it's too late to go and find fuses and we're not even 100 percent certain fuses are the problem anyway...  a fuckton of food wasted

That happened to me once. On Boxing Day. While making dinner for my extended family - about 20 folks.

You have my sympathy.

[TordelBack]

Och that's a pisser.  Probably too late now, but see could your neighbours finish off the roast?  Even if they ate it too, it wouldn't be wasted...  We did this when our freezer died without our noticing, and managed to offload most of our defrosting/-ed food by going dooe to door.  People were very good about giving us stuff in return later on, not that that was the point.