I'm bored so I'm going to start a thread. I haven't started that many anyway...
I have never...
...seen Game of Thrones
...owned a mobile phone
...seen Big Lebowski
...owned a car
...liked The Wire
take heroin.
Exercised.EVER!
Jump out of a perfectly servicable plane.
V
quit the day job (been doing the same thing 24 years!)
Tattoos.
Only if a Polynesian Tribe accepts me as one of their own.
Or, if I designed a really cool one myself. Which will never happen because I've never been satisfied with anything I've ever drawn. I would have to keep going back to get it fixed, and I just can't afford that.
Quote from: strontium71 on 06 April, 2012, 07:05:51 PM
I'm bored so I'm going to start a thread. I haven't started that many anyway...
I have never...
...seen Game of Thrones
...owned a mobile phone
...seen Big Lebowski
...owned a car
...liked The Wire
You've not seen The Big Lebowski!!!
For shame!
Dressed up in faux-Victorian clothing with a bunch of cogs and stuff on it like a fucking cretin.
Parachuted out of a plane. I don't plan on doing it either.
Taken driving lessons. I won't say never to this, as I'd like to try it, but I don't trust myself driving as my mind has a tendency to wander. I've ended up in precarious situations on my bike due to this, and would trust myself less driving a box of metal at high velocity.
I have very rarely been more attracted to any famous person than someone I've seen or known locally. Wherever I have been this has been true. If I were to have a top 3 women I would canoodle with, only one would be famous.
Kelly Osbourne.
I've never worn a Mexican wrestler mask (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucha_Libre#Masks) and probably never will.
I once got really excited when I saw a pack of 4 on sale (even though I suspect my head would be too big for them) and got awfully excited about buying them, so I could dish them out randomly next time I went around to my mates' house with no explanation (like the time I turned up and emptied a dozen pairs of children's shoes onto a table). Then I realised I was far too excited and Bad Things Would Happen (like the time with gasmask or the devil disguise kit), so I decided it would be best not to do that, ever. Even though I'd decided on my Mexican wrestling name: El Mutante. Now I'm talking about it I want them again. Uh oh.
Ladyboys and/or prostitutes. I know many who have though.
Also watched a whole cricket or golf match. I used to accompany my friends on their golf trips, but kept myself from going clownshit mental by smoking weed and videoing them with a smart-arsed commentary to be played back to them later.
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 06 April, 2012, 10:55:25 PM
Dressed up in faux-Victorian clothing with a bunch of cogs and stuff on it like a fucking cretin.
Yes you have....
Used a Windows PC for pleasure...
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 07 April, 2012, 01:01:14 AM
Kelly Osbourne.
I quite like big girls...I wonder if she likes middle aged geeks?
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 07 April, 2012, 05:36:38 AM
I used to accompany my friends on their golf trips,
Hmm...therin lies the mistake. To me those two things are mutually exclusive, but you're obvioulsy more forgiving than me!
I've never read a Superman comic.
M.
Quote from: Mikey on 08 April, 2012, 12:42:27 PM
I've never read a Superman comic.
Not even 'Whatever happened to the Man of Tomorrow?' or 'For the man who has everything'? You
really should!
Quote from: TordelBack on 08 April, 2012, 01:36:50 PM
Quote from: Mikey on 08 April, 2012, 12:42:27 PM
I've never read a Superman comic.
Not even 'Whatever happened to the Man of Tomorrow?' or 'For the man who has everything'? You really should!
Or All-Star Superman.
Or 1930's Superman where he's basically just FDR owning sundry corrupt businessmen.
...watched any reality shows ( apart from early BB )
...been to a cinema on my own
...been in a fight
...learned to swim
...smoked
...gone on a date
...been to a rugby game.
...watched the second and third lord of the rings films to the end, and finished the books.
...watched the godfather 2 and 3.
...owned a dog.
...placed my genitalia in the jaws of hungry lion.
...gone to australia.
...eaten fish, other than cod.
SBT
LEARNT TO DRIVE :o yeh i know,very odd one isnt it. (now never will either)
Learnt to speak Manadarin (I have had a house out here for 17 years!!! :-[)
Ran for fun or sport. (ever)
The only Supes in comic form was in a Lobo crossover/cameo. See also:X-Men in all their permutations.
I've never been to Wales. But I probably will at some point.
M
Ah, i was gonna put Wales - ill have to settle for Scotland instead.
Been to Ireland though. It rained. A lot.
Had a Future Shock published.
Roger's Mom.
Owned a brand new computer not cobbled together from second-hand parts.
Said something helpful at precisely the correct juncture.
Been ahead of the curve.
Had children.
Gone bunjee jumping.
Believed any economist.
Buy the Meg... :-\
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 03:21:57 PM...been in a fight
We can probably fix that for you.
In fact, that gives me an idea:
Emp'll Fix It
Next up is strontium71. Your option is you can take me out on a date and treat me to a meal (although bear in mind I don't put out on a first date) or we can have a fight. The decision is yours.
Quote from: SmallBlueThing on 08 April, 2012, 03:34:15 PM
...eaten fish, other than cod.
Hmm. That's probably the most tasteless of fish to my mind! (That being said I have tasted some very nice cod but if I go to the chippie I'm more of a Rock Salmon man.)
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 03:21:57 PM
...gone on a date
Bless. Actually, me neither.
I've hung out with girls as friends. And there was one girl I went out to the cinema with a couple of times who I think might have been attracted to me that way (according to her older sister* anyway. At least she was until she got to know me.) but for me it was just friendship. So I'm not sure that counts.
A good girl though. She went to France and married a Frenchman.
*Actually, she was pretty hot, but was already spoken for.
Quote from: Emperor on 08 April, 2012, 05:21:28 PM
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 03:21:57 PM...been in a fight
We can probably fix that for you.
In fact, that gives me an idea:
Emp'll Fix It
Next up is strontium71. Your option is you can take me out on a date and treat me to a meal (although bear in mind I don't put out on a first date) or we can have a fight. The decision is yours.
Tough one...
I do like girls though , so it'd have to be a fight. It doesn't have to be fisticuffs though , I can arrange a battle of wits. Which I'd still probably lose.
Then we can have a meal. As long as it's a veggie option.
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 05:36:05 PM
Quote from: Emperor on 08 April, 2012, 05:21:28 PM
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 03:21:57 PM...been in a fight
We can probably fix that for you.
In fact, that gives me an idea:
Emp'll Fix It
Next up is strontium71. Your option is you can take me out on a date and treat me to a meal (although bear in mind I don't put out on a first date) or we can have a fight. The decision is yours.
Tough one...
I do like girls though , so it'd have to be a fight. It doesn't have to be fisticuffs though , I can arrange a battle of wits. Which I'd still probably lose. Then we can have a meal. As long as it's a veggie option.
A battle of wits followed by a vegetarian meal? It explains
a lot. ;) Me I'm a blood and teeth kind of chap, and that's just the meal.
NEVER
Got a tattoo
Rode a motorcycle
Punched an elephant
Purchased a music CD
Cheered someone up
Made a crop circle
Touched a mongoose
Had a true friend
Eaten a goose
Cared for a cactus
Disposed of an unwanted pair of trousers
Repaired a damaged fan
Added salt to tea
Mowed the lawn without being asked
Watched the film UP
Held hands with a girl
Built a wall
Won a real-time strategy game
Written a novel
Learned how to book a flight
Intentionally eaten metal
Won a fight
Owned a cat
Driven a car
Bought something online without help
Prevented someone comitting suicide
Rolled a corpse up in a carpet
Cooked lamb
Built a greenhouse
Taken LSD
Kissed a girl
Went to the bank to exchange my money
Touched a dolphin
Made someone cry
Built a moat
Planted some cabbages
Found Wally
Revealed that terrible thing I did all those years ago
Saw a ghost
Risked my life for something I believe in
Burned wood
Dissected a liver
Contracted herpes
Broke someone's leg
Flew in a helicopter
Talked to a rhino
Defecated in the shower
Painted a sunset
Won the lottery
Bought a newspaper that I intended to read myself
Tortured an animal
Stopped a crime from taking place
Met Paul Verhoeven
Been on board a submarine
Met an eskimo
Fired a gun
Learned to play an instrument
Overcame my fears
Became omnipotent
Watched song of the south
Made a puppet
Stabbed myself in the hand with a knife
Grew a proper beard
Committed myself to a mental hospital
Climbed a mountain
Watched a film featuring Adrian Brody
Defused an atomic bomb
Screamed in a public place
Excelled at something
Played gin rummy
Watched an episode of iCarly
Talked to Keith David about spelunking
Bought a rope
Cried because of someone's death
Had a key cut
Bought a fifth generation console
Visited Belfast
Won a race
Dyed my hair
Rented a flat
Been a member of a band
Wrote a script for a film
Joined Twitter
Had an organ transplant
Stole anything worth more than €100
Kept on the straight and narrow
Produced a child
Threw a brick through a window
Loved someone
Decapitated a criminal
Made something of myself
DEAD TO ME
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 03:21:57 PM
...watched any reality shows ( apart from early BB )
Way to contradict you own first choice.
V
Quote from: Jared Katooie on 08 April, 2012, 09:58:46 PM
NEVER
...
Excelled at something
You've excelled at this thread.
Quote from: vzzbux on 08 April, 2012, 10:14:44 PM
Quote from: strontium71 on 08 April, 2012, 03:21:57 PM
...watched any reality shows ( apart from early BB )
Way to contradict you own first choice.
V
It does contradict it but what I mean is I never watch ANY reality shows - ...Jungle , ..Dancing , ..Essex etc.
The early BB's were the exception because I'm pretty sure they started the whole rotten thing going , but they weren't bad in the beginning. It's only when the contenstants cottoned on to the whole 'appear and be an instant celebrity' that I gave up.
...used a washing machine. I'm almost 38 so I'm quite proud of this fact. I plan on making it to 40 but suspect I'll be divorced by then if I dont.
Quote from: Jared Katooie on 08 April, 2012, 09:58:46 PM
NEVER
Got a tattoo
Rode a motorcycle
Punched an elephant
Purchased a music CD
Cheered someone up
Made a crop circle
Touched a mongoose
Had a true friend
Eaten a goose
Cared for a cactus
Disposed of an unwanted pair of trousers
Repaired a damaged fan
Added salt to tea
Mowed the lawn without being asked
Watched the film UP
Held hands with a girl
Built a wall
Won a real-time strategy game
Written a novel
Learned how to book a flight
Intentionally eaten metal
Won a fight
Owned a cat
Driven a car
Bought something online without help
Prevented someone comitting suicide
Rolled a corpse up in a carpet
Cooked lamb
Built a greenhouse
Taken LSD
Kissed a girl
Went to the bank to exchange my money
Touched a dolphin
Made someone cry
Built a moat
Planted some cabbages
Found Wally
Revealed that terrible thing I did all those years ago
Saw a ghost
Risked my life for something I believe in
Burned wood
Dissected a liver
Contracted herpes
Broke someone's leg
Flew in a helicopter
Talked to a rhino
Defecated in the shower
Painted a sunset
Won the lottery
Bought a newspaper that I intended to read myself
Tortured an animal
Stopped a crime from taking place
Met Paul Verhoeven
Been on board a submarine
Met an eskimo
Fired a gun
Learned to play an instrument
Overcame my fears
Became omnipotent
Watched song of the south
Made a puppet
Stabbed myself in the hand with a knife
Grew a proper beard
Committed myself to a mental hospital
Climbed a mountain
Watched a film featuring Adrian Brody
Defused an atomic bomb
Screamed in a public place
Excelled at something
Played gin rummy
Watched an episode of iCarly
Talked to Keith David about spelunking
Bought a rope
Cried because of someone's death
Had a key cut
Bought a fifth generation console
Visited Belfast
Won a race
Dyed my hair
Rented a flat
Been a member of a band
Wrote a script for a film
Joined Twitter
Had an organ transplant
Stole anything worth more than €100
Kept on the straight and narrow
Produced a child
Threw a brick through a window
Loved someone
Decapitated a criminal
Made something of myself
Why didn't you just sum it up as: "I live with my parents and don't get out much"? ;)
Surfed for porn.
Really?
I've never...
finished a Dan Brown novel (utter shite),
survived a zombie apocalypse,
seen TordelBack naked,
sent anyone a photo of my penis,
kicked Wayne Rooney in the balls.
JvB
Quote from: The Enigmatic Dr X on 09 April, 2012, 12:39:06 PM
Surfed for porn.
Always remember when 'surfing for porn', wax your board first... :D
I've done three of those things just in the time it took to read the list.
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 09 April, 2012, 03:46:12 PM
I've done three of those things just in the time it took to read the list.
I'm going with those three being: surfed for porn, seen TB naked and sent someone a photo of your penis. Am I right?
Hit two tank targets , 1 moving with a HESH round from a Chieftain Tank.
Quote from: Emperor on 09 April, 2012, 03:58:08 PM
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 09 April, 2012, 03:46:12 PM
I've done three of those things just in the time it took to read the list.
I'm going with those three being: surfed for porn, seen TB naked and sent someone a photo of your penis. Am I right?
Ive never ever sent a picture of my penis, but however i have received pictures of women's bits (on a number of occasions) :o
Smoked
Done drugs
Watched an episode of the Simpsons or Family Guy
Quote from: W. R. Logan on 09 April, 2012, 04:17:11 PM
Hit two tank targets , 1 moving with a HESH round from a Chieftain Tank.
Wrong thread, damn tapatalk
Made a vote on any TV 'talent' show.
Riden a motorbike.
Had a tattoo or piercing.
Taken hard drugs.
Been to any country outwith Europe or the USA - don't fancy the plumbing or the travel elsewhere.
I have never...
Driven a car unsupervised
Eaten a Big Mac
Bought a kebab
Watched a Godfather film
Watched The Shawshank Redemption
Enjoyed the taste or effects of alcohol
Paid attention to a weather forecast
Travelled outside of Europe
Sunbathed
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 10 April, 2012, 12:09:24 AM
I have never...
Bought a kebab
I would get on this sharpish if I were you! A decent kebab is one of God's great gifts to the tongue. Unless you're a veggie of course, in which case falafel is a must. Had it for the first time a few months ago when the girlfriend kindly made dinner. Amazing.
I have never:
eaten ox testicles
Gone on Chatroulette
Drunk a pint of Guinness (a sham of an Irishman...)
QuoteDrunk a pint of Guinness (a sham of an Irishman...)
Shame on you, sir ;) One thing I'm really looking forward to when I get home next Christmas is a decent, properly poured pint of the black stuff. (To be sure, to be sure.)
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 10 April, 2012, 12:09:24 AM
I have never...
Watched The Shawshank Redemption
You really must.
Quote from: strontium71 on 10 April, 2012, 08:02:37 AM
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 10 April, 2012, 12:09:24 AM
I have never...
Watched The Shawshank Redemption
You really must.
Indeed. If for no other reason than, having watched it and found you don't like it, to say with some authority, "Yeah, that line about a mile of shit says it all." Or, having enjoyed it, simply enjoying it.
But, then, what do I know? I've never willingly drunk a cup of coffee.
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 10 April, 2012, 12:09:24 AM
I have never...
...
Eaten a Big Mac
Bought a kebab
...
Enjoyed the taste or effects of alcohol
Ah, you weren't really using that kidney to its full potential anyway.
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 10 April, 2012, 04:13:49 AM
QuoteDrunk a pint of Guinness (a sham of an Irishman...)
Shame on you, sir ;) One thing I'm really looking forward to when I get home next Christmas is a decent, properly poured pint of the black stuff. (To be sure, to be sure.)
Ah now, in fairness, I am allergic to it! (I'm a coeliac, and allergic to all beer, and found out I was a coeliac before I started drinking. I've had gluten-free beers, but Guinness just looks yummy :()
[insert obligatory shillelagh-whacking here]
Oh, now i want a guinness. Havent had one since we moved out of ireland nine years ago, and thanks to the last few posts, i now reeeeaalllllly want one. Best one ive ever had was at newgrange- which really did taste like black, velvetty, sweet heaven in a glass. Worst was my very first pint on getting to dublin in 1994, in the pub on the corner opposite bruxelles. Tasted infinitely more bitter and pissy than the ones served in my then-local in plymouth. And it had a shamrock on it.
SBT
I have also never watched:
The Sopranos
24
The Wire
30 Rock
The West Wing
Mad Men
Heros
Dexter
Grey's Anatomy
I have never, and probably never will --
Had sex with a man. Don't fancy them, sorry. I've already got a penis, why would I want to see another one?
Gone on a 'beach holiday' in Magaluf, Corfu or any of those other holiday resorts which I imagine are full of fat, stupid English people getting pissed and looking for restaurants which sell chips and full English breakfasts.
Read/watched any Harry Potter books/films.
Read/watched any Twilight books/films.
Watched a live football match. Sport = Kryptonite.
Got a tattoo.
Owned a dog. One day I'll reveal the full details of my plan to herd all non-working dogs into a gigantic machine which will kill them and turn them into food for the homeless. Awful, pointless animals.
Lived in a foreign country. What do they know of England and all that.
To be fair, the only place I've ever been that I've felt I'd want to live in (as opposed to seems quite nice for a week's holiday) is Berlin.
Quote from: Lee Bates on 10 April, 2012, 02:11:47 PM
...One day I'll reveal the full details of my plan to herd all non-working dogs into a gigantic machine which will kill them and turn them into food for the homeless. Awful, pointless animals...
One day I'll reveal my plan to herd up all the homeless. I also have a plan to cut crime by flooding the market with flesh eating heroin but that's for another day.
I never owned a spectrum.
Been to a hip-hop show and/or club.
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 10 April, 2012, 02:43:21 PM
Been to a hip-hop show and/or club.
I've never been to america
Quote from: Lee Bates on 10 April, 2012, 02:11:47 PM
Had sex with a man. Don't fancy them, sorry.
That's the beauty of it - it only matters that they fancy
you.
Quote from: Lee Bates on 10 April, 2012, 02:11:47 PM
Gone on a 'beach holiday' in Magaluf, Corfu or any of those other holiday resorts which I imagine are full of fat, stupid English people getting pissed and looking for restaurants which sell chips and full English breakfasts.
The thing about those admittedly ghastly package-things* is that they're often the best way to get to places very cheaply, and have bed and a swim sorted for the first/last night. Then use the cash you've saved for transport and accommodation and get the hell out of Dodge - because just a few miles inland or along the coast there's cool stuff waiting. In the good old days we had many superb holidays that started and finished with the Costa del Full English or local equivalent
*Although I'd sell my soul for a shot at one now, if anyone's buying...
I've never climbed local "landmark" Roseberry Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping))
I've also never -
been drunk,
had sex with a prostitute, or
killed a customer for been stupid
although I have been tempted to do two of these three things
Quote from: Tombo on 10 April, 2012, 04:06:48 PM
I've never climbed local "landmark" Roseberry Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping))
Now that is a blast from the past. I used to live in Redcar and have climbed Roseberry Topping (love that name) more than once.
I'm not an anarchist but I sometimes attend the meetings x
Quote from: Tombo on 10 April, 2012, 04:06:48 PM
I've never climbed local "landmark" Roseberry Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping))
I've also never -
been drunk,
I'm impressed with the non drinking, not that it's heroic, but that you feel that little inclination to peer pressure. I spent too many years trying to understand the appeal. Though it's not mandatory to drink when socialising, I've found that if you're not drinking, you're basically there for a different reason to everyone else. And alcoholic drinks do
not taste good.
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 10 April, 2012, 06:39:14 PM
Quote from: Tombo on 10 April, 2012, 04:06:48 PM
I've never climbed local "landmark" Roseberry Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping))
I've also never -
been drunk,
I'm impressed with the non drinking, not that it's heroic, but that you feel that little inclination to peer pressure. I spent too many years trying to understand the appeal. Though it's not mandatory to drink when socialising, I've found that if you're not drinking, you're basically there for a different reason to everyone else. And alcoholic drinks do not taste good.
You stick to the Ribena mate, I'll take my fully matured taste buds to the pub and enjoy a delicious, rich pint of dark red Hobgoblin ale. Mmmmm... Heaven in a pint pot.
Not a wild child like some of you chaps.
Never played a game on a Playstation, Xbox etc
Never took a work sickie
Never missed a day of secondary school or sixth form
Never drunk Red Bull
Quote from: Adrian Bamforth on 10 April, 2012, 06:39:14 PM
Quote from: Tombo on 10 April, 2012, 04:06:48 PM
I've never climbed local "landmark" Roseberry Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roseberry_Topping))
I've also never -
been drunk,
I'm impressed with the non drinking, not that it's heroic, but that you feel that little inclination to peer pressure. I spent too many years trying to understand the appeal. Though it's not mandatory to drink when socialising, I've found that if you're not drinking, you're basically there for a different reason to everyone else. And alcoholic drinks do not taste good.
Its not so much resisting peer pressure rather growing up in pubs and seeing the state some people would get themselves into. You don't really feel the urge to drink when you've seen people waiting outside what's effectively your home at half ten in the morning with the shakes desperate to get in and work on killing themselves (something I know happened to a few of the regulars)
Quote from: Tombo on 10 April, 2012, 04:06:48 PM
I've also never -
been drunk,
had sex with a prostitute, or
killed a customer for been stupid
although I have been tempted to do two of these three things
I can say I have only not done one of those.
V
There's very little I heaven't done. And even less that I wouldn't.
Never been to England, never been to France
never really learned how to dance
I've never taken dope and I've never taken drugs
Ah, I've never danced on a bear-skin rug
Guess it's true, what all those people they say
I'm gonna have to lose my hometown ways
Guess it's true, guess I've led a sheltered life
Never went around with anything
I've had a hometown life, and I have never learned to swing
Not much of a life, I haven't seen much
I've been true to my wife and it's just been too much
Guess it's true, what all these people they say
I'm gonna have to lose my hometown ways
You know it's true, guess I've led a sheltered life
Guess it's true, what all those people they say
I'm gonna have to lose my hometown ways
Guess it's true, guess I've led a sheltered life
Stevie has been to Paradise (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddDkIlNJJQ4) but has never been to me.
Quote from: Aonghus on 10 April, 2012, 11:38:55 AM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 10 April, 2012, 04:13:49 AM
QuoteDrunk a pint of Guinness (a sham of an Irishman...)
Shame on you, sir ;) One thing I'm really looking forward to when I get home next Christmas is a decent, properly poured pint of the black stuff. (To be sure, to be sure.)
Ah now, in fairness, I am allergic to it! (I'm a coeliac, and allergic to all beer, and found out I was a coeliac before I started drinking. I've had gluten-free beers, but Guinness just looks yummy :()
[insert obligatory shillelagh-whacking here]
Whack! Whack! Bejayzus, sor, Oi'll foight yeh! C'maan, yeh bockety melt of a god's own hoor you, Oi'll foight yeh!
Sorry. That's a pisser, being coeliac. My brother's mate in Leicester has the same problem - once very much a real ale connoiseur, now an unwilling wine and cider drinker. I also used to know an Italian guy with the same problem. No pasta. Or pizza. It's amazing he was able to survive.
QuoteStevie has been to Paradise but has never been to me.
He has also never referred to himself in the first person - UNTIL NOW!!! :o
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 11 April, 2012, 07:19:58 AM
Sorry. That's a pisser, being coeliac. My brother's mate in Leicester has the same problem - once very much a real ale connoiseur, now an unwilling wine and cider drinker.
I worked with a bloke who simply would not admit defeat - he resolutely drank Guinness every time he went out, and then was predictably and violently ill. I met him recently and he was sipping a glass of red wine and looking wistful.
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 11 April, 2012, 07:19:58 AM
Quote from: Aonghus on 10 April, 2012, 11:38:55 AM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 10 April, 2012, 04:13:49 AM
QuoteDrunk a pint of Guinness (a sham of an Irishman...)
Shame on you, sir ;) One thing I'm really looking forward to when I get home next Christmas is a decent, properly poured pint of the black stuff. (To be sure, to be sure.)
Ah now, in fairness, I am allergic to it! (I'm a coeliac, and allergic to all beer, and found out I was a coeliac before I started drinking. I've had gluten-free beers, but Guinness just looks yummy :()
[insert obligatory shillelagh-whacking here]
Whack! Whack! Bejayzus, sor, Oi'll foight yeh! C'maan, yeh bockety melt of a god's own hoor you, Oi'll foight yeh!
Sorry. That's a pisser, being coeliac. My brother's mate in Leicester has the same problem - once very much a real ale connoiseur, now an unwilling wine and cider drinker. I also used to know an Italian guy with the same problem. No pasta. Or pizza. It's amazing he was able to survive.
I feel their pain! At least you can get decent cider in Leicester; used to go out with a lass from there and we went to a few folk festivals, where the cider was unparallelled! Herre you can only get bulmers and Druid's glen- pure hobojuice :(
On the Italian front, I also have a similar experience: despite 80% (!) of my immediate family being coeliacs, my parents decided a house in
Italy was a good idea. Still, at least the italians are massive hypochondriacs, and sell loads of GF stuff nowadays. In pharmacies...
Quote from: TordelBack on 11 April, 2012, 09:28:00 AM
Quote from: JayzusB.Christ on 11 April, 2012, 07:19:58 AM
Sorry. That's a pisser, being coeliac. My brother's mate in Leicester has the same problem - once very much a real ale connoiseur, now an unwilling wine and cider drinker.
I worked with a bloke who simply would not admit defeat - he resolutely drank Guinness every time he went out, and then was predictably and violently ill. I met him recently and he was sipping a glass of red wine and looking wistful.
Lol, there comes a point when you have to give in. If the constant excruciating wretching doesn't get you, the approaching spectre of bowel cancer will...!
Never learned to play a musical instrument though I really wish I did. Just don't have the patience for it.
Quote from: GordyM on 12 April, 2012, 11:00:47 AM
Never learned to play a musical instrument though I really wish I did. Just don't have the patience for it.
me too. I've no patience, but also I think I just don't have the music gene. I've been taught simple 3 chord blues on a guitar several times by friends but it just leaks out of my head the next day. If people explain pitch, tone, keys etc to me it makes perfect sense while they're speaking, but just doesn't stick in my head (rather like Einstien's relativity theory).
Also I've never ridden a bike, tweeted or eaten sushi.
Quote from: Dandontdare on 12 April, 2012, 12:23:10 PM
Quote from: GordyM on 12 April, 2012, 11:00:47 AM
Never learned to play a musical instrument though I really wish I did. Just don't have the patience for it.
me too. I've no patience, but also I think I just don't have the music gene. I've been taught simple 3 chord blues on a guitar several times by friends but it just leaks out of my head the next day. If people explain pitch, tone, keys etc to me it makes perfect sense while they're speaking, but just doesn't stick in my head (rather like Einstien's relativity theory).
Same here. I can't tell equate one type of sound to another either - for example if some one has one of those pitch whistle things to tune a string instrument I just can't understand it - one makes a toot sound and the other makes a twang sound.
well well, looks like we got ourselves a couple of drummers
Quote from: johnnystress on 12 April, 2012, 01:39:43 PM
well well, looks like we got ourselves a couple of drummers
Classic.
Quote from: johnnystress on 12 April, 2012, 01:39:43 PM
well well, looks like we got ourselves a couple of drummers
nope, should've added I've got no sense of rhythm either! :D
Quote from: JamesC on 12 April, 2012, 12:40:23 PM
Quote from: Dandontdare on 12 April, 2012, 12:23:10 PM
Quote from: GordyM on 12 April, 2012, 11:00:47 AM
Never learned to play a musical instrument though I really wish I did. Just don't have the patience for it.
me too. I've no patience, but also I think I just don't have the music gene. I've been taught simple 3 chord blues on a guitar several times by friends but it just leaks out of my head the next day. If people explain pitch, tone, keys etc to me it makes perfect sense while they're speaking, but just doesn't stick in my head (rather like Einstien's relativity theory).
Same here. I can't tell equate one type of sound to another either - for example if some one has one of those pitch whistle things to tune a string instrument I just can't understand it - one makes a toot sound and the other makes a twang sound.
They did a musical aptitude test on us at primary school - played a record and we had to write down stuff about various notes. They used this to decide who got to play what instruments. They dished out the fancy stuff like violins and clarinets, then the bulk of the other instruments, finally the tone deaf and ham-fisted got the instruments that are difficult to get wrong: triangle, cymbals, tambourine, etc. I was the only kid to get nothing at all. For which I was pretty grateful. I don't think there was ever an explanation offered, everyone probably already knew I was not only tone deaf but so clumsy almost musical instrument could have become a deadly weapon in my hands (like a skewed version of Bullseye - Cack-Hand, the accidental assassin).
I had mate who taught at the Guitar Institute in London, and who used to boast he could teach anyone. After an hour's lesson, he made me promise to never pick up a guitar again.
I tried to teach myself violin one summer- after six weeks i could scrape out twinkle twinkle little star very slowly while studying my own notes.
It would be nice to play an instrument, but sadly its just not for me.
SBT
I can't play a musical instrument, either, though this hasn't stopped me being in several bands over the years. Whoever invented bass guitars should get a medal.
On the other hand I had a mate who was an absolute natural with music. He borrowed a clarinet once and had never played a reed instrument before. Within minutes he'd mastered the mouth shape and could make noises. Within an hour he could tootle up and down the scales and after a few days could play simple tunes - with no instruction whatsoever.
He was just satrting on a promisnng career as a record producer whe he collapsed and died on the way out of Glastonbury festival, cause unknown. Tragic.
That's really sad. :(
Blimey, that's a bit grim.
Quote from: Dandontdare on 12 April, 2012, 04:12:50 PM
On the other hand I had a mate who was an absolute natural with music. He borrowed a clarinet once and had never played a reed instrument before. Within minutes he'd mastered the mouth shape and could make noises. Within an hour he could tootle up and down the scales and after a few days could play simple tunes - with no instruction whatsoever.
My brother played the clarinet and was in the boroughs concert band for a long time, one night we went back to a friend's house who had a drum kit set up in their living room (as you do). My brother picked up the drumsticks for the first time and knocked out a bit of Led Zep to much applause, whereas if I'd have tried it I'd have had my eye out (or someone else's).
* In the mix of genes he got the height, plus musical and sporting abilities - he also played basketball for the region
Quote from: Trout on 12 April, 2012, 04:45:00 PM
That's really sad. :(
Quote from: Emperor on 12 April, 2012, 04:52:09 PM
Blimey, that's a bit grim.
Too true. I was away at the time, but another friend said she'd never seen so many grown men bawling as at his funeral. He was a top geezer :'(
Quote from: Dandontdare on 12 April, 2012, 04:12:50 PM
On the other hand I had a mate who was an absolute natural with music. He borrowed a clarinet once and had never played a reed instrument before. Within minutes he'd mastered the mouth shape and could make noises. Within an hour he could tootle up and down the scales and after a few days could play simple tunes - with no instruction whatsoever.
He was just satrting on a promisnng career as a record producer whe he collapsed and died on the way out of Glastonbury festival, cause unknown. Tragic.
Jesus, that's terrible. Poor guy
That is a damned shame, DDD.
Quote from: Professah Byah on 12 April, 2012, 04:08:14 PM
I can't play a musical instrument, either, though this hasn't stopped me being in several bands over the years. Whoever invented bass guitars should get a medal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-G4PTysacI
Still think the Bass is easy to master?
V
Quote from: vzzbux on 12 April, 2012, 05:57:05 PM
Quote from: Professah Byah on 12 April, 2012, 04:08:14 PM
I can't play a musical instrument, either, though this hasn't stopped me being in several bands over the years. Whoever invented bass guitars should get a medal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-G4PTysacI
Still think the Bass is easy to master?
V
Or indeed, this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yf56jYDv2fc
Quote from: vzzbux on 12 April, 2012, 05:57:05 PM
Quote from: Professah Byah on 12 April, 2012, 04:08:14 PM
I can't play a musical instrument, either, though this hasn't stopped me being in several bands over the years. Whoever invented bass guitars should get a medal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-G4PTysacI
Still think the Bass is easy to master?
I've seen people make great noise come out of a pair of spoons, but that doesn't make them a real instrument.
V
Quote from: Professah Byah on 12 April, 2012, 04:08:14 PM
I can't play a musical instrument, either, though this hasn't stopped me being in several bands over the years. Whoever invented bass guitars should get a medal.
To master the bass is actually harder than six-string.
What makes you say that, Joe? Having learned both, I'd've pu them more or less on a par. (I found bass easier, but by then I had experience of guitar and other four-stringed instruments behind me, which doubtless helped.)
I played guitar for 13 years when I picked the bass up, it was easy to play simple stuff all right but to actually play properly, in a group, it's a different story. People depend on you more -no stopping and starting and winging it like the guitar- it requires more finger muscle and more of an understanding of what really fits, in a subtractive rather than additive way.
Guitar players who pick-up the bass tend to over-play at first.
I suppose it depends what your ambitions are: creating new music, or poontang*. For the latter, you need only know your way around the E, and for years I thought them two bottom ones were just fancy decorations to make it look like a proper guitar. Then I became more knowledgable... and realised that everything under the top string was superfluous unless you were some kind of masochistic weirdo.
No bullshit, the bass player is lucky to even be there. Even drummers are more useful seeing as they're usually the designated drivers because they need to lug all their shit about.
* both is just showing off.
Quote from: Professah Byah on 13 April, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
I suppose it depends what your ambitions are: creating new music, or poontang
Or playing anything other than a root note or any music other than rock/metal/punk.
Quote from: Professah Byah on 13 April, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
No bullshit, the bass player is lucky to even be there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz-UvQYAmbg
Motown was lucky to have James Jamerson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVgfjnLqc&ob=av2e
The Blockheads were lucky to have Norman Watt-Roy
/pats Joe on head.
"Other kinds of music" he says. For all the alternatives to punk, metal or rock you could be playing in the pubs around here, I may as well have bought a fuckin' accordion. And a monkey to go with it.
Quote from: Professah Byah on 13 April, 2012, 01:22:14 AM
For all the alternatives to punk, metal or rock you could be playing in the pubs around here, I may as well have bought a fuckin' accordion. And a monkey to go with it.
but could you play it or just smush with sausage fingers?
Stop arguing fellas. We all know that neither of you will ever do the greatest thing anyone can do: Not be Irish.
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 13 April, 2012, 01:28:08 AM
Stop arguing fellas. We all know that neither of you will ever do the greatest thing anyone can do: Not be Irish.
It's stil not greater than Fassbender's Wang.
o this is easey I will never have a drink at a pub
Quote from: JOE SOAP on 13 April, 2012, 01:25:38 AM
Quote from: Professah Byah on 13 April, 2012, 01:22:14 AM
For all the alternatives to punk, metal or rock you could be playing in the pubs around here, I may as well have bought a fuckin' accordion. And a monkey to go with it.
but could you play it or just smush with sausage fingers?
The Monkey is there to do Riverdance in a green bowler hat as a distraction from the fact I don't play the accordion at all, and merely keep rhythm while barely sober.
Quote from: JOE SOAP on 12 April, 2012, 11:46:24 PM
I played guitar for 13 years when I picked the bass up, it was easy to play simple stuff all right but to actually play properly, in a group, it's a different story. People depend on you more -no stopping and starting and winging it like the guitar- it requires more finger muscle and more of an understanding of what really fits, in a subtractive rather than additive way.
Guitar players who pick-up the bass tend to over-play at first.
Fair enough! I found bass more to my temperament, i think, which may be why I found it easier. (And I found people depending on me in a group less stressful than needing to pull of complicated guitar solos :P) Having said all this, I've often said that there are no 'easy' and 'hard' instruments, just differrent instruments.
French horn, anyone?
...justified spending $500 on a statue!
In defence of bass players: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrTS7b028A8
and getting back on topic: used a microwave oven
I've never seen an elephant fly.
I have, however, seen a peanut stand and heard a rubber band.
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person in the history of the world who took up bass to score via a bare minimum of effort, though I am apparently the only one who will admit it.
Get Trackmania Nations to run on my Mac (god damn you Wineskin)
Quote from: Professah Byah on 13 April, 2012, 01:12:43 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person in the history of the world who took up bass to score via a bare minimum of effort, though I am apparently the only one who will admit it.
Or maybe you're just the only one on the board? :P
I've never had a dangerwank.
Quote from: Professah Byah on 13 April, 2012, 01:12:43 PM
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person in the history of the world who took up bass to score via a bare minimum of effort, though I am apparently the only one who will admit it.
Oh I'm sure. However, as the above discussion demonstrates even though it is easy to learn (and difficult to master - two very different things) that is still above the competency levels of quite a few of us :(
Ridicule is the only language the bass player knows, Emperor. You're just confusing them.
I think Emperor should start a new thread titled "Things we've done... but wished we hadn't"
Quote from: SpetsnaZ99 on 13 April, 2012, 04:01:31 PM
I think Emperor should start a new thread titled "Things we've done... but wished we hadn't"
No lets just leave that topic alone. Please.
V
Quote from: SuperSurfer on 13 April, 2012, 11:20:23 AM
In defence of bass players: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrTS7b028A8
Much prefer John Wetton's days with Roxy Music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9QpI3wVvek&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL76B3FEAB858E97F4
Quote from: SuperSurfer on 13 April, 2012, 11:20:23 AM
In defence of bass players: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrTS7b028A8
and getting back on topic: used a microwave oven
What's the difference between a bass player and a dead dog?
[spoiler]There are skid marks in front of the dog.[/spoiler]
JvB
Floss my teeth.
Buy an iPhone.
Get a pet.
Stop being awesome.
Cosplay.
Read any book based on a game.
Watch any film recommended by small blue thing.
Get a tattoo or a piercing.
Become a vegetarian.
Found Gina Yashere or Shappi whateverherfucking name is funny.
Pissed in a church.
Quote from: Emperor on 17 April, 2012, 04:17:20 PM
Pissed in a church.
Spent the night, drank alcohol, pissed
and shat and also started a fire in a church*.
To be fair it was the ruins of one and I was camping.
Edit: Wrong thread, I thought this was the 'things no one else has done' thread. Sorry
Quote from: pops1983 on 19 April, 2012, 08:37:07 PM
Quote from: Emperor on 17 April, 2012, 04:17:20 PM
Pissed in a church.
Spent the night, drank alcohol, pissed and shat and also started a fire in a church*.
To be fair it was the ruins of one and I was camping.
Edit: Wrong thread, I thought this was the 'things no one else has done' thread. Sorry
Ah, but are you sure Emperor didn't think he was posting in the Embarrassing Parents thread?
I've never served my full term of notice in any job I've moved on from. Ever.
But, then, I've never lied on my CV, either. It's always the effing employer I find has lied, sooner or later...
not shure if I posted this here but heres 2 I can think of smocking and geting drunt
Too easy.
Quote from: Cyberleader2000 on 25 May, 2012, 09:19:00 PM
not shure if I posted this here but heres 2 I can think of smocking and geting drunt
drunk not drunt woops I was not paying atachion
Worn track pants.
Donkey punching.
Then again...
Quote from: brendan1 on 17 April, 2012, 03:36:56 PM
Cosplay.
Read any book based on a game.
Watch any film recommended by small blue thing.
Get a tattoo or a piercing.
Become a vegetarian.
Found Gina Yashere or Shappi whateverherfucking name is funny.
Total. Ass. Hat.
Apart from the last one that is a totally reasonable list.
You really DON'T have the time or Space here for me to list .... :lol:
Do artwork for 2000ad
Fist a penguin.
also...having a deep and meaningful conversation in a nightclub - or really getting to know someone in a nightclub lol
Quote from: GordyM on 22 July, 2012, 11:35:46 AM
Turns out it's not as fun as you'd expect.
I dunno. There's a guy in this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOE7qTAK87o) who has a lot of fun with his fist up a penguin...
Quote from: GordyM on 19 July, 2012, 08:46:00 PM
Fist a penguin.
What on earth do you mean?
(http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t136/commandoforces/Penguin.jpg)
Is there a whole penguin fisting community I've stumbled into? :o
If you don't know the password then you can't come in ;)
Is it "Pingu makes for a lovely glove"?
You're in :thumbsup: