Attempts at the sample scripts

[pauljholden]

WSS*


-pj
*Wot Simon Said

[pauljholden]

Just noticed that PJ has drawn up his layouts for page one and (not that I consider myself to be in anywhere near the same league) thought I would do the same before taking it to pencils. Any thoughts/ comments on the layouts gratefully received.

I know this is entirely my fault, but asking for a crit on a layout is hard to do - is the figure in panel 1 a placeholder for you to work out the details or is that as good as it gets? No way to really know.

I'll say this, regarding panel 2 - and it's, more or less how MOST have executed this panel, is a very distancing shot - you become aloof to what's going on - you're NOT part of the action at all - sometimes this is the way you HAVE to go - because the writers made a request that really can only be executed by a distant shot. As a rule of thumb (and all rules of thumbs can be ignored if you can execute well) ariel shots (or birds eye views) distance the reader from the action, it's the the spy cam watching the action from hundreds of miles away. Worm view shots (looking up at the action) can be ominous, frightening shots. Tight to the action (in between protaganists) are your stuck in the action pics.

Also you've slightly broken the 180 rule (again, a rule you CAN break in service to the story) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/180_degree_rule

Flipping panel 1 on the horizontal will fix that.

[struthersneil]

Thanks gents--spot on with the crits. Dredd's missing elbow pads--such a gaff. Oh well. Missed it at the sketch stage, then entered mindless robot mode while rendering the thing. This is why I shouldn't share stuff on the same day I draw it

In the cold light of day it's obvious that the dead woman's body should be about 15 degrees flatter to the floor. That would cause her arms to splay sideways a bit so they don't look like they are supporting her. Boy's face could be softer too, agreed. I wanted to portray someone who had taken a beating or ten, was old beyond his years--ended up making him look too old (common mistake, I know.) I'm going to crack on with the rest of the script but I'll come back and play around with it.

[struthersneil]

Made changes: corpsier corpse, Dreddier Dredd, more childlike child. Page is much better for it, so thanks!

[a chosen rider]

Wow, that's a massive improvement already!    Very nice looking stuff.  I still think your Dredd uniform looks a little off, though.  The shoulder pads seem a bit too rounded and closely fitted; I think they need to be a bit more bulky/blocky.  Helmet strikes me as overly round in the rear view as well, though it looks good from the front.  Maybe it needs a little bit more height?  I think in general you've got all Dredd's gear looking very sleek and nicely fitted when it's usually depicted as pretty chunky and substantial , even things like the gloves.

[Mardroid]

I actually think as far as Judge uniform is concerned, the style is pretty subjective to the artist, as long as the elements are all there (shoulder/elbow, pads, helmet-on Dredd anyway- belt, badge, chain, etc.). And they seem to be here although maybe there could be more detail. (Then again he appears to be a bit out of focus, partly hidden by the flash of gunfire, etc, so maybe it's okay to leave that as it is.)

If find that Dredd rather wide though, but he is sometimes drawn as a giant.

[a chosen rider]

Yep, the uniform design does vary a lot, which makes it a bit difficult to comment, but still, that back view doesn't really read as very Dredd-like to me, and I think a little more bulk to the shoulders at least would give him a more readily identifiable silhouette.

[PJM]

Do the majority of current proffesional artists work digitally, or are there still a lot of traditional methods being used?

[TordelBack]

Big improvement there.  Amazing what some pretty subtle changes can do, those arty types know their trade.  As to the re-Dreddified Dredd, reminds me a lot of Siku's version but definitely does the trick.

[Bubba Zebill]

Really enjoying the pages, Opipop.

You may have mentioned it before, but what program are you creating these in?

Dunk, I recently bought Manga Studio, well worth it IMO. I'll still color with PS. But drawing comics is more satisfying in MS. All the best.

[Simon Fraser]

Do the majority of current proffesional artists work digitally, or are there still a lot of traditional methods being used?

There's certainly a swing towards digital linework using Manga Studio. I share a studio with a number of other artists and we discuss this quite frequently. The problem for me is that I've been trying to keep some measure of consistency with my older Dante work and changing the way I draw it really won't help me do that. I suspect when I'm done with Dante I'll be playing around with different methodologies for a bit.Though I'm very resistant to spending yet MORE time in front of a screen. Paper, pencils ad ink is niiiice.

[Bubba Zebill]

Do the majority of current proffesional artists work digitally, or are there still a lot of traditional methods being used?

I'm very resistant to spending yet MORE time in front of a screen. Paper, pencils ad ink is niiiice.

Wacom brought out the Inkling last year, it records your work as you create it in a sketchbook. It means an instant digital version in vector format and the actual pencil drawing exist simultaneously. I thought it would free me up a bit from being in the studio and at the screen so much. I could be around my family when sketching for example, in the garden or whatever and / or sell a landscape drawing straight away without waiting to make a digital record of it. I thought of
comic artists at conventions and how handy that might be for some of the better sketches made on the day. I bought the Inkling but it never came, I eventually lost the rag with Wacom's crappy comms and managed to get my money back. 3 months I think I waited...BUT!...it's still an interesting device for artists. Dave Gibbons was sent one and I think planned to offer a critique at some point. I wrote about the Inkling on 31st Aug 2011 here...http://wineink.blogspot.com/

[pauljholden]

Firstly: apologies for going off topic.

I played with the inkling and wasn't impressed. I found it wasn't sensitive enough or fast enough to pick up much of my scribbly sketches. Plus it was an awkward device with too much setting up required (ok, not much, but still).

It has a niche, it turns out: tattoo artists - I was told it sells really well in this market.

[allistermac]

My latest version of page 1 above. I think that all the good advice has helped to make the page a lot stronger than my first attempt.

[Bubba Zebill]

Firstly: apologies for going off topic.

I played with the inkling and wasn't impressed. I found it wasn't sensitive enough or fast enough to pick up much of my scribbly sketches. Plus it was an awkward device with too much setting up required (ok, not much, but still).

It has a niche, it turns out: tattoo artists - I was told it sells really well in this market.

Just what this lonely heart needed to hear, thanks. I dodged a bullet.