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They're even smaller. You'd fit a couple in, no bother.

You *have* taken the plastic screen protector off, haven't you?

Or, to put it another way: dunno. Bump.

Saw that offer, but anticipated problems. Think I'll hold fire for now!

Those were the days.

I won a copy of The Complete Carlos Ezquerra on the Tooth Facebook page!

Signed.

My copy of Hey! Hello!'s debut album arrived this morning. It's already been on heavy rotation since I got the digital copy, but I'm very pleased nonetheless!

https://m.facebook.com/heyhellomusic?id=192744964175391&_rdr

I thought he looked more like a normal-sized Molch-R.

You'll be wanting a can of spray starch.

If it's any help, I just accidentally wandered into the ladies' toilets. It's a symmetrical corridor and I came up the "opposite" staircase to my usual one on auto-pilot. I re-emerged red-faced after a couple of seconds of confusedly wondering where the urinals had gone, to find several of my esteemed colleagues sniggering outside.

Whatever faux pas you committed, at least you're not the new office pervert.

Superglue?

"Bubbly" is a fine quality in most areas of life. I think swimming might be one of the few scientifically provable exceptions.

This. Totally.

I have never felt so let down, unsupported and flat out powerless as I have since I first reported this to the police. I stupidly thought they'd view it as an easy arrest to keep their figures up. Turns out a stolen bicycle is just not interesting enough, even when I do all the bloody donkey work for them.

I don't know why I'm surprised. Around 1998-99, I was badly beaten up at a bus stop by five chavs for wearing a leather jacket instead of a tracksuit. It was the latest in a series of increasingly violent incidents involving the same gang, who had seemingly targeted me because I was local, different and frequently out alone. I was concussed and needed stitches. When the police eventually arrived, several hours later, they took a statement with an air of disinterest and griped to my parents that they'd been called away from a traffic accident for this.

Are you certain he's the actual thief?

Well, there's the rub. While he's *definitely* riding my bike, I had already considered the possibility that he didn't actually take it. He could just as easily be someone whose dad bought a cheap bike from a bloke in the pub (Yes, I know - the chances of him ever having met his dad are remote at best). That's why every more... proactive version of the plan involved firmly but non-violently taking my property back from him and getting the hell out of there, avoiding any fighty unpleasantness all costs. Besides anything else, I might *look* big and scary, but I've never been one for getting punched...

He's already confirmed to the police what he saw. The officer I spoke to (before I spotted the bike myself) was still doubtful, saying even if the bike turned up, it basically came down to my word against the thief's.

The second officer I spoke to (post-sighting) was slightly more positive, citing my recent and distinctive customisations to the bike as things that might help to ID the bike. We'll see what happens.