Messages

I didn't mean to cause offence. Well, only as much as being repeadetly outbid on eBay would cause.

Still, all sorted now cos I got them all - including a number 2 (ooer) - from Silver Acre.

My own 300 has the back page missing from when I made the microprog, so ta for the offer but I want em whole

I need only four progs to complete my collection: the worst offenders are 300, 1163 and 1203 (the last two having mysteriously vanished during one of Mrs X's tidying frenzies). Does anyone have spare copies they're willing to sell? Or can you point me in the direction of somewhere I can get them? All of the sites and shops I've contacted seem only to have early progs.

The fourth prog is number 2. I suppose I'll eventutally bite the bullet and pay ?50 for a copy. I just need to wait until Devon's Daddy has his twenty billion copies.

If that's what Johnny Alpha's eyes can do...

what about Bette Davis eyes?

(sorry)

The cover is pants. Cleanly drawn, yes, but clean pants are still pants. I wouldn't pick it up in a shop.

Bill Hicks gag (badly remembered):

After Kennedy was shot, the CIA rounded up and imprisoned all the pigeons in Dallas. They were sitting around going "coup! coup!"

Thanks for all the suggestions. I do some public speaking in work, but it's more daunting when you know the people in front of you. I fully intend plagarising as many of your suggestions as possible.

Well, except for Karne's.

My brother gets married on the 25th and I'm the best man. Any good one-liners? Any hints on the speech? How long should it be? I've never done this before, so any input would be helpful.

Maybe they gave all us subscribers the copies that normally go into the shops?

Jamie B, is that really Brookymre's next book? Having read all his stuff, it could be!

Non-fiction, I'm currently reading Berlin:1945 by ANthony Beever. It's all about the attack on a capital city by a hugely overwhelming ill-trained army led by conflicting generals who report to the unhinged leader of their country. If you think that sounds familiar - there are even stories of friendly fire!

Fiction wise, I have just finished Dead Air and stared Tad Williams' Otherland on the train this morning.

I read mine... on the bog. (Hey, anyone who says different is lying. You've all done it!)

Let's have the jokes, trout.

THe point? Isn't that the bit at the end of a stick?

Bollocks. How about 70. If anyone has blagged this then please tell me - I'm still working (at 1am on a Friday!) and have popped onto the board while folk are out the room

zero

The changing of the clocks last weekend has really bollixed me. I am absolutely shattered every morning - more so than normal. I even had an argument with Mrs X this morning because I told her to "shhh" (I don't do mornings). Well, she haraunged me and I listened. Is this a sign of old age, or am I just working too hard (an average of 13 hours a day, for the last 14 days - including weekends. Poor me!) God help me, EVEN COFFEE DOESN'T WORK!